I recall having gone through an incident that made me angry – I was the Rabbi of a synagogue, and a narcissist became the Chairman – this person suffers from what is called in simple words the sadistic pleasure of shaming people (which is almost always present in narcissism / bullies – though they are not conscious – hence subconsciously they believe as hitler did, that they are “all-righteous,” while their real motive is their ego is angered (jealous) that others have self-pride, while they have self-shame ( you see, depression is self-shame – but besides self-pride and shame, there is “the perception of how you are perceived” – so in a healthy… like America, where people are given their rights (as people believe others have freedom) hence people don’t think that others think that they are despicable – But primarily in Germany (among many other societies) where people do not have individual freedom (certainly not in hitler and from time-immemorial (for most if not all harsh societies impose/d a rigid system – the children are demeaned into obedience (similar to Japan etc.) Hence the greatest anger (jealousy that exists, is “why is it that you can feel safe, while I must be pretending” ( for in actual fact, narcissism and delusional-ego is a protective mechanism – you see, when we feel safe, we have no need to pretend – it is simply when we are afraid, that we develop this ego.

Anyway, what angered me was that this person, using his position of authority would publicly berate me (for things which were excuses – much like the entire history of anti-semitisim, the current history of anti-Israel, anti-American, in fact, almost all anti-movements (their genesis is only jealous hate.)

One of the things that helped me rid myself of this anger was an article By Rabbi Yossi Jacobson (theyeshiva.net) in which he explained that the secret of when Mosses was told by God to “go to Pharaoh” and the Bible uses not the word “go” but “come” – for Pharaoh looks so impressive.. – imagine going to the President – he was far more fearful!! for he had real absolute authority – yet God said “come” – for God took Moses into the innermost recesses of Pharaoh’s soul – he took him to his very essence, and you know what Moses saw – Nothing!!

He saw that all of Egypt, its power, was a bluff.

The ego of the king simply was its own delusion.

So should I be angered that a delusional person shamed me??? – if you walk by a mental institution and someone shouts out the window(“!”)… I think you would actually laugh

You see, this is actually how the Jew always survived – if we took antisemetic taunts personal, as unfortunately other cultures (perhaps black, indian etc.) that internalized shame, simply couldn’t move forward

Whoever has, is or will shame, demean, insult, abuse, you, has but a single purpose – their delusional ego (itself caused by someone who shamed them (though sometimes, ego can be from talents that one got praised for..) cannot handle your genuine natural self-esteem.