Make Your Marriage Great is For Anyone Who Doesn’t Want To Get, Or End Up Divorced (Current stats 50% Millennials 70%)

INTRO / Promo

How To Make Your Marriage Great

BOOK “The Rebbe’s Therapy”

Rabbi Zevi Wineberg

Accredited Family Mediator / Member MaritalMediation (Largest American Mediator Network) –
Author “Kabbalah-Love” – A Guide For Marriage For Men/Women – Lecturer – Blogger – YouTuber

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1. Contact me

2. If you are really ready… Then your spouse will contact me

3. If your spouse is also interested

4. We will work together – 100% Guaranteed You Will Succeed!

The 8 Steps Of The Rebbe’s “Therapy“

In A Seminal Letter The Rebbe Writes To A Husband On How To Have Shaloim Bais – Peace In The Home

The Rebbe Describes:
….“What the relationship should be according to Shulchan Aruch [The Code of Jewish Law] – the Jews’ practical guide in life.”

The Following 8 Steps Are
a. Quoting The Rebbe’s Letter
b. Adding The Practical Implementation

Step #1

“The central aspect in the manner of conducting a home and family life, is, that it be based on the way of the Torah, whose ways are “ways of pleasantness, and all of its paths are peace.”

“If this rule applies to all activities of a Jew, even outside the home, how much more so does it apply within the home itself.”

Practical Implementation

As such the first step is to be happy – happy people are pleasant and nice – for this reason I have written my course Kabbalah Love (as we know from chapter 26 of Tanya, overcoming stress is necessary for happiness.)

Kabbalah Love – “From Fear To Love” goes through 6 chapters of practical advice mainly from Tanya and Chassidus – taking ideals and making them practices.

Kabbalah Love was Televised in South Africa and has helped millions.

Practical Step: The couple goes through this course with me – For more info. KabbalahLove.org

Step # 2

“G-d has created human beings with minds and feelings of their own, and these are not uniform in all people, peace and harmony can be achieved only on the basis of “give and take” that is, meeting each other half-way.”

Practical Implementation

In other words, the Rebbe is saying we must learn how to compromise – to assist in this process, there is an emerging field called Marriage Mediation –

The goal  of mediation is not to take sides, but to help assist voluntary compromise (often by suggesting solutions – amazingly 100% of all willing clients are helped.)

Practical Step: The couple receives meditation – we find out what issues are important to each – and we voluntarily find compromised solutions.

Step # 3.

“For a husband and wife to make concessions to each other is not, and should not be considered a sacrifice, G-d forbid.

On the contrary, this is what the Torah teaches and expects – for we are talking about concessions that do not involve compromise in regard to the fulfillment of Mitzvos, and both of you are of the same mind, that the laws of the Shulchan Aruch must not be compromised.

Furthermore, to achieve true peace and harmony calls for making such concessions willing and graciously –not grudgingly, as if it were a sacrifice, as mentioned above, but in the realization that it is for the benefit of one’s self and one’s partner in life, and for one’s self perhaps even more, since it is made in fulfillment of G-d’s will.”

Practical Implementation

The way to achieve this is through understanding both what it says in Kabbalah and in the Licha Dodi Mamer and in Shulchan Aruch, that man is blessed with Parnosah/Sustenance and in all ways – in the merit of his wife.

In Shulchan Aruch it says that “treat your wife respectfully, in order to be wealthy.”

Practical Step:

A “pow-wow” on this is mentioned.

Step # 4

“And if our Sages exhort every Jew to receive every person with a friendly face, certainly it applies to one’s wife or husband.”

Practical Implementation

This teaches the important of how to greet each other – happily – those moments (like when you see a friend…) are priceless!

Practical Step: A “pow-wow” on this is mentioned.

Step # 5

“There are many sayings of our Sages, as well as those of our Rebbes, urging husband and wife always to discuss matters of mutual concern, and to give patient attention to the opinion of the other and then act in mutual agreement.”

Practical Implementation

It is important to have a communication meeting once a week – this can be done with me or / and hopefully the couple (once learning how…)

Practical Step: We set this in motion.

Step # 6

“It is also very desirable that they should have at least one regular study period in a section of Torah which is of interest to both, such as the weekly Torah portion, or a timely subject connected with a particular season or festival.”

Practical Step: The Couple Should Set Up A Weekly Torah Study

Step # 7

“It may sometimes seem difficult for the husband to take time out of his preoccupations to discuss mutual problems with his wife, or study Torah with her, but he should not look at it as a sacrifice.

On the contrary, he should do it eagerly, in fulfillment of the most important Mitzvah – Sholom Bayis – Peace in the Home.

And if any Mitzvah has to be carried out with joy, how much more so such a fundamental Mitzvah.”

Practical Step: To appreciate that the entire goal of G-d is the male/female union, as we know the entire Torah was given for the sake of peace!

Step # 8 “Finally, I would like to add that of the Mitzvah campaigns which have been emphasized in recent years, special attention has been focused on the mitzvah of Ahavas Yisroel [the love for fellow man,] which embraces everyone, even a stranger; how much more so a near and dear one.”

Practical Implementation

Love must begin with our loved ones

Full letter below

“I received some information about the relationship at home, but I do not know to what extent it reflects the actual situation. Hence I want to convey to you some thoughts in light of what the relationship should be according to Shulchan Aruch [The Code of Jewish Law] – the Jews practical guide in life. If the relationship is, indeed, in keeping with it, the purpose of this letter will be to strengthen and deepen it, as there is always room for improvement in all matters of goodness and holiness, Torah and Mitzvos. On the other hand, if it is not quite what it should be, I trust that, since the Torah is surely a guiding light, you will bring it up to the desired level, and you will do it with joy and gladness of heart.

The central aspect in the manner of conducting a home and family life, is, that it be based on the way of the Torah, whose ways are “ways of pleasantness, and all of its paths are peace.” If this rule applies to all activities of a Jew, even outside the home, how much more so does it apply within the home itself.

Of course, since G-d has created human beings with minds and feelings of their own, and these are not uniform in all people, peace and harmony can be achieved only on the basis of “give and take” that is, meeting each other half-way. For a husband and wife to make concessions to each other is not, and should not be considered a sacrifice, G-d forbid. On the contrary, this is what the Torah teaches and expects, for we are talking about concessions that do not involve compromise in regard to the fulfillment of Mitzvos, and both of you are of the same mind, that the laws of the Shulchan Aruch must not be compromised.

Furthermore, to achieve true peace and harmony calls for making such concessions willing and graciously –not grudgingly, as if it were a sacrifice, as mentioned above, but in the realization that it is for the benefit of one’s self and one’s partner in life, and for one’s self perhaps even more, since it is made in fulfillment of G-d’s will. And if our Sages exhort every Jew to receive every person with a friendly face, certainly it applies to one’s wife or husband.

There are many sayings of our Sages, as well as those of our Rebbes, urging husband and wife always to discuss matters of mutual concern, and to give patient attention to the opinion of the other and then act in mutual agreement. It is also very desirable that they should have at least one regular study period in a section of Torah which is of interest to both, such as the weekly Torah portion, or a timely subject connected with a particular season or festival.

While the major obligation to study Torah is on men, it has been emphasized that women, too, have to fulfill the mitzvah of Torah study in areas where they are directly involved, as explained in the laws of Torah study. All the more so in the present day and age, when women have the possibility – hence obligation – to do their share of spreading Judaism no less than men.

It may sometimes seem difficult for the husband to take time out of his preoccupations to discuss mutual problems with his wife, or study Torah with her, but he should not look at it as a sacrifice. On the contrary, he should do it eagerly, in fulfillment of the most important Mitzvah – Sholom Bayis – Peace in the Home. And if any Mitzvah has to be carried out with joy, how much more so such a fundamental Mitzvah.

Finally, I would like to add that of the Mitzvah campaigns which have been emphasized in recent years, special attention has been focused on the mitzvah of Ahavas Yisroel [the love for fellow man,] which embraces everyone, even a stranger; how much more so a near and dear one.

I hope and pray that each of you will make every effort in the direction outlined above and will do so with real joy and gladness of heart, and may G-d grant that you should have true Nachas [joy] –which is Torah Nachas, from each other and jointly from your offspring, in happy circumstances materially and spiritually.”

Rabbi Zevi Wineberg’s Interview – Getting The Feminine Input