You see you are not who you think you are!
You are like the center of the nuclear reactor, which contains three potentials, for constructive, destructive or shut down mode.
Constructive: when you ration your giving to express love that doesn’t smother but energies your beloved.
Destructive, when you focus on yourself and hence you give love conditionally (to meet your own needs) or if God forbid you are feeling down, you actually step on others (antisemites etc.) in order to temporarily feel a bit better about yourself.
Or perhaps even worse, you are depressed and you shut off.