Women who think that acting fairly will get them fair treatment are under the delusion/illusion of the justice paradigm (called Din in Kabbalah;) in other words; when people are afraid of others, they create this kind of delusion/illusion that people create, barter; so if I do a. s/he will do a. in return, so they are under as John Grey calls it, a point system – “I give, you give;” however, the truth is, that most men work in a different system, they react, so if you cause me to love you, I give to you, if you cause me to hate you, I will hate you back; but ultimately, the best goal for women is to realize, men are not in charge of their own lives, for God is in charge of all lives! so trust that God will provide, love your husband, and offer him respect, and he will in turn, react similarly to you!