Who have you become – are you your original idealistic naive self? -are you a suspicious person? (really defending yourself, hence seeing everyone eles’s probable maliciousness – often also an angry and jealous person, hence criticizing ("a kosher means of abusing") or (and ideally) have you discovered the truth, namely, no man is truly capable of being objective (for whether naive or protective, we always skew to our strongest current desire) and hence are you submitting to God?