When we observe what is deficient in another, there are three possible realities taking place – the first (not only do we have this deficiency as the Baal Shem Tov says: people are like mirrors, hence the dirt we see on another is in us, but as we love ourselves hence we are not bothered by our own dirt; but) if we get angered by it, we are actually a jealous angry person (and the reason we are seeing dirt and getting angry, is, it allows us to make others jealous and angry too, through harming them – bullies, antisemites etc.) the other is, we don’t get angered, rather, like a parent observing their child misbehaving and wishing to educate them, we will think “how can I help this person improve” (and most uniquely, when in the merkavah state, we are capable of observing reality, without taking it personally.)