When I feel ashamed – not a temporary sense, but an underlying belief (that others perceive me as such ) three things happen: a. I am vexed (for someone must have made me feel such – and as I began my life in confidence, this vexes me) b. secondly, I become a narcissist (this is a perfectionism (though it creates subconsciously the belief that “I am perfect,” notwithstanding the fact that I still subconsciously believe that others see me as shameful – ) finally, as fundamentally I am feeling both angry, as well as shameful, and as we are jealous – therefore my mind produces rationalizations to justify maliciousness