This is the essence of Kabbalah, all of us are in one of three categories: either life is kind, hence in true naive, though beautiful emotion, we are unconditionally loving ( and because love is an emotion, not intelligence, we like any addiction refuse to entertain the possibility that we shouldn’t) the other is we become cruel, because life is cruel (we do this both as self protection as well as both resentment and jealousy which creates an irrational implacable sadisim) finally we can grow up ( in other words by taking control of our emotions, we then are able to be tough when necessary and kind when appropriate