this is perhaps the most fundamental but hardest of all truth – a victim doesn’t only blame their aggressor – you see, we all create a false reality – the reality goes like this – I and outside of me – don’t you think you are independent of that which exists outside of you? – so when I am nice to one person, that person will see the outside as being nice – I was in costco yesterday and I think (as my grandfather jokingly paraphrased king solomon’s teaching “if no one praises you – at least you should”) I was being nice, but even nicer to the youngish cashier, was an older bagger who complemented her, and she said “everyone is being nice today;” you see, everyone, really, is your experience