The Wisdom Of G-d

By zevi770 · May 28, 2024

Once upon a time before time itself, lived an infinite, which means unlimited Being.

He had no worries, had no fears, but being beyond time, and could simultaneously create time, space and Souls / Beings; He foresaw you

Can you imagine your child?

Can you feel love for this beautiful amazing soul?

Well, that’s what happened!

Love, as in the Hebrew word “Ahava,” contains in it “Hav” the desire to give.

Yes the reason every star, every planet, every person (in a certain sense… for the universe was create for each of us individually) exists, is because He loves you unconditionally!

And when you love unconditionally you do two things:

You create a space in which the person can make positive (and of-course to create positive, you also need to have freedom of) choice/s.

And this set in motion our time-space dimension inhabited by the stars and galaxies, planets, and people and the billions upon billions of species and fauna and fish and fowl etc.

And all of this is so when you shall perceive through your free choice that all of your choices are foolish, and therefore seek a deeper experience, a greater truth, a more meaningful life! He in His loving kindness shall share.

Share His wisdom, Share His Unconditional Infinite Guidance.

Let me lead you on the journey that inspires hundreds of millions of lives, allowing the love and the infinite wisdom of Your Creator who seeks but what it’s in your interest, to guide you.

The first step on our journey to discover His guidance of course is the Bible.

Much of this book will be a collection of books I have written (as they say “no need to reinvent the wheel.”)

The first book I shall share with you is my “The Modern Bible – Life Lessons From G-d.”

Book 1
INTRO.
Lessons From God’s Bible – Torah Teachings
The Holy Zohar teaches us, the Bible is not a collection of stories, it’s a collection of life-lessons.
Please join me on a journey, in which we shall discover, how the Divine lessons relate to your life!
The very first verse of the Torah/Bible is
“In The Beginning God Created Heaven And Earth.”
Why?
Why would the Torah need to start?
The answer is that if you wish to know anything, you must understand what is!

This book follows the sequence of the Bible and brings out its core life lessons (though of course coming from an infinite G-d are really infinite – without limit nor end.)

Chapter 1- Breishis & Noah
HIGHER PURPOSE

The first verse of the Bible teaches us many things:

1. It teaches us that before there was everything, there was nothing.

2. As such, it must be that our universe serves a higher purpose!

3. This is hinted to in the first word of the Torah “Bi’reishis” – in Hebrew that can be divided to, “two prime causes.”

A. For the sake of the Jewish people.
B. For the sake of Judaism.
The sages query, is Judaism for the Jews, or are the Jews for Judaism?
They reply, that it is obvious that the Torah was written for the Jews (of-course, as you may know, Judaism encompasses the Seven Noahide Laws, which are for all Humanity!)
THE DIVINE WISH – EARN BLESSINGS
So if we had to say this in other words… the universe is a place in which the Divine will is to bestow blessings – (and when we wish to bestow, if we are truly Noble – we seek for the other to earn; for that which is just given, is somewhat bland/tasteless to the receiver) – and therefore God created a universe in which there are instinctual pleasures and fears, versus the Divine ethical and moral guidance;
and when we choose to obey instead of ignore, then we earn.
INFINITE LIGHT – FOR SEEKERS

The world begins in darkness / confusion – which is how any thinking person sees the chaos,… and then there is: if you seek… an infinite light.
Now Infinity, is not limited, and therefore, unlike we, who seek our existence, Infinity only does what’s right!
In other words, Infinity chooses to bestow, but of-course, will not impose; and therefore to have a relationship with Infinity / God, it must come from our deepest, most greatest desire.
BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY – HAVE KIDS
After God made man, He blessed them and He said, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the world;”
We must understand two things: first of all, God’s blessing to man is the greatest gift – namely the ability to have man! There is no greater blessing, no greater achievement than to be able to have a child, and YOU propagate the Earth!

Without Humanity, there is nothing.

And secondly, when God blesses us, as the sages say: with every child comes the wherewithal.
THE EARTH IS FOR YOU – YOU MATTER

The Torah further clearly says, that God says to man, “Rule the Earth – the food on the earth is for you.”
This is very important to understand, because at the very core of a human being, is the way that they value themselves.
So much of the foolish, hedonistic, materialistic, secular culture, focuses obsessively on dumb disproven theories, such as evolution – really at the core of what they are “achieving” is to make a person feel, “you are just another walking dumb animal.” So is it any wonder that a generation brought up under such low self-esteem, should find their lives meaningless? and even worse, valueless! : (
The Great Master, the Lubavitcher Rebbe said, that he once told his Torah teacher, that he had an argument with someone who believes in evolution; and his teacher said, “Mendel, leave him alone – if his desire is that his lineage should be from an ape, ‘Let it be. : ) ’”
MAN AND WOMAN – TWO HALVES
• The story of the creation of man and woman is very very important, for number one, man has to realize that without a woman he is incomplete; but number two, man has to see the woman as being his other half, for then his love for her, will be as he loves himself.
THE SNAKE IN YOUR HEAD – DOUBT
• The story of the snake is the story of Our Lives, because God comes with very simple, very clear instructions, and the snake through great conniving, begins to make you doubt the instructions…
He begins to make you think that God is there only as a narcissist : (,
which obviously makes no sense, because He is Your Father and Mother, Your Creator, Your Lover, Your Brother, Your Sister, Your Best Friend!, Who only seeks what’s good for you!, And by understanding, that His wisdom is advice FOR YOU! not against you – You will Embrace God, and ignore the snake in your head!
TREE OF KNOWLEDGE – SEXUAL SHAME
• The story of man and woman realizing that they’re naked is very very profound; for Kabbalistically what occurred and what the Tree of Knowledge means – exactly as it says, is the knowledge of evil.
Now knowledge in Hebrew denotes “an association with.”
This is why when it speaks about man loving his wife, it says he “knows her.” –
When you know someone, you love them; and because Adam peered into the Demonic dungeon, filled with the delusional arrogance – much as we do when we look at people, perhaps that have power and fame – certainly a narcissistic bully… and we become attracted to that “Grandeur;”
And once there is an attraction, our entire psyche, which really is attraction based – (if you think about it… everything you do, is based on various attractions or fears/retractions) – becomes quite sick.
This is why when Adam developed this – shall we say subconscious narcissism, he became ashamed; for as opposed to previously, when engaged in intimacy, it was like two doves – it now had a tinge of arrogance/evil.
This teaches us – particularly today – that we must be exceptionally cautious what media we allow our eye / ears to consume – for once a desire penetrates/inculcates, it is mighty difficult to expunge/expiate.
GOD’S CONSCIOUSNESS – YOU
• It’s actually quite funny that Adam hid from God when he heard God coming;
Yet we are exactly the same, because based on science and common-sense, we are no different to any character in a computer game – which means, that we are always simply in God’s consciousness.
GOD’S COMMUNICATION
• The conversation that God has with man, which is the first recorded conversation – is very very descriptive (as anyone who has the gift of “The Still Small Voice Of God” knows) For God totally descends into the human Realm.
By first allowing Adam to Simply hear His Presence – so He doesn’t get startled… and then asking him, “Where are you?…” as if He doesn’t know… Then asking him, “Did you eat of the fruit?…”
In other words, God, when He communicates with man – like a loving parent – descends completely into our humble simple psyche.
DON’T BLAME
It’s also very descriptive to see what man does when accused of a crime, for he immediately blames; as the woman does as well; the obvious lesson is: Don’t bother accusing people.
YOU’RE ACCOUNTABLE
It’s also very important to understand that God punishes the snake; Now the reason this is important, is because God holds us accountable.
THE BLESSING CALLED EFFORT
The irony is of-course, that this entire story: the fall and sin, as Kabbalah teaches, was already predicted, and orchestrated – for ultimately, the punishment of man, that it will be difficult to make a living, and the punishment of woman that it will be difficult to have love, to give birth, to raise children… is a blessing; because only that which we earn, do we truly feel grateful for.
NARCISSISM = DEATH
It’s also instructive that God causes man to die, because “he knows evil;”
And what this really means, is that in essence, the realm of life is the realm of holiness and joy!
But in the realm of narcissism, which is the realm of misery, for the narcissist expects to get his way, and becomes angry when he doesn’t… – Narcissism is such a stupidity!!…. As ALL tyrants, Empires, have fallen – so any, certainly lesser “powerful” bully, one day will as well.
JEALOUSY – HUMILITY
In the story of the jealousy of Kayin and Hevel, we have a very important story, for this is the beginning of human relations in the world, and it begins rather ignobly and predictably, that those who are selfish, who don’t have a broader-View, become jealous of those who are gifted (quite simply) with insight and humility;
This is the real reason why there is sadism. For example, Arabs hating Jews – in fact, anyone who hates Jews, who objectively are the kindest, nicest people – certainly based on considering how much charity is given per capita – because those whose myopic visions cause narcissistic selfishness and illusions of grandeur, ultimately are miserable, and are jealous of those who have love in their hearts; And of-course, as the story continues, we see the tremendous tyranny, maliciousness, which jealousy causes.
Certainly it’s no coincidence, that the only emotion God, forbids, in the Ten-Commandments, is the emotion of jealousy. And as the story progresses, God clearly tells Kayin, which applies to each of us – for we all often get jealous, how to overcome jealousy: Namely, he must accept, HE is the problem. For when we are jealous we always subconsciously produce rationalizations (and as all people have some evil in them, hence we magnify their evil, and we believe in our minds that their “evil” is the justification of our maliciousness….) We see this subconscious ludicrous rationalization by the German Nazis who decided that because they are a “super-race,” hence they are allowed to kill others!! And so we must understand, that in God’s world, those that are humble, automatically will feel good! And if we are not humble, and we wish to feel good, all we need to do, is look at our own evil, and in this way, become humble and thereby happy.
REPENT – STOP BEING ANGRY
One of the most instructive verses of the Bible is what God tells to Kayin when Kayin’s face fell, from his being slighted by God not accepting his sacrifice. – So to quote, God says, “Why are you angry? And why has your face Fallen? If you repent, you will be accepted… And if you do not, Sin lurks at your “door,” and it desires to enter! But you can always overpower it.”
You see, anger actually is a false demon – for no-one in the world was ever born angry; Hence anger is not Who We Are;
But when we are angry, that demon lurks, awaiting to inject its poison – to temporarily annihilate us through hate; But if a person, as we mentioned in the last paragraph, repents – through realizing that the fault was in ME, not in the “other” – then we overcome anger, and we return to our pristine soul.
JEALOUSY – ANGER = HATE + LISTEN
In case we think the jealousy is no big deal… jealousy leads to the murder;
Jealousy is the reason that there is murder in this world;
Jealousy is the reason that there is rape; Jealousy is the reason that there is abuse; Jealousy is the reason behind all the anti-movements, be it anti-white, anti-Jewish;
And a second lesson that we can take, is, that when God talks to us, and we don’t take it serious, there’s nothing more serious!
When God Comes To Tell Us Something…. It’s only critical.
ARROGANCE = INSANITY
To continue on the theme of arrogance vs. Humility, we see the tremendous arrogance… that God is speaking to Kayin, and imagine God comes to you and He says, “Where is your brother?” and he says, “I don’t know, am I the watchman of my brother?!”….
GOD AVENGES INJUSTICE
The next verse is very profound, for God says, “What have you done? The blood of your brother cries to me from the ground.”
Now we must understand, that as God says elsewhere, “Be compassionate, for I am compassionate;” In other words, ‘When Compassionate, humble people cry to me for justice, I feel the need to create it!’
LISTEN
True to Human Nature, Kayin upon hearing of his punishment, suddenly reverses the previous words of God, and says, “My sin is too great to carry!”… However when God had told him previously to repent, he didn’t realize as we mentioned before – that when God talks, THAT is the time to listen!
HATE = EVIL (CALLOUSNESS)
• Isn’t it interesting…, how suddenly Kayin is worried about people coming and killing him… for such Is the nature of hate; that we lose the sensitivity of hurting or murdering another : (.
GOD HAS “LIMITS”
The story of God regretting creation, ultimately boils down to the same story that happened with Kayin and Hevel; because when things are good – and as we see – a spirit of narcissistic unbridled licentiousness, instead of sensitivity and compassion both towards fellow man and woman had (can) inhabite/d Humanity… – God said, “I Will Wait A Hundred and Twenty Years To See If People Will Transform, Repent, Change; But Such Evil Cannot Be Allowed To Indefinitely Perpetuate.”
SENSITIVITY
In the motive of God to destroy the world, which is again mentioned in the beginning of Parshas Noah, it’s clear, that God sought to establish a world of sensitivity – and a world of violence, narcissism, evil; has no place in His heart.
REASON
God tells Noah to go into the ark and He literally floods and eliminates all other life; from Man, Woman, Child, bugs, bees, birds… – and then He has Noah leave the ark, and the first thing God does… is it seems… He sort of regrets the destruction – and ironically – using the very same reasoning that led to the destruction, now leads to a promise to never destroy!…
For ultimately, Reason is actually just a reason for a Reason.
In other words, when God’s emotion was disgust and regret over creation, therefore, the fact that men were thinking evil all the time, served as the reason to destroy them; but when God’s emotion was regret and compassion over the destruction, then His decision was to never destroy.
NO MURDER
• Effectively God reiterates, what He told Adam, but much stronger language…
In other words, He blesses man to propagate and control Earth;
In fact, all of Earth was created for man, however man is instructed to be compassionate to animals;
This is one of the Seven Noahide laws – “Do not eat an animal while it is living,” which would include the sadistic practice of boiling lobsters alive;
And finally, God States clearly, that by killing a man, one is in fact attacking God! And therefore God will ensure that the murderer will meet a Bitter End.
REMEMBER – MAKE A LIST
• God then sort of sets up a reminder for Himself; that whenever the rainbow is seen, this is an indication that He shouldn’t destroy Mankind.

And of-course a very pragmatic lesson from this is, that unless we set up reminders for ourselves, we forget.
TRUE UNITY
• We find now an exceptionally bizarre story, that Humanity gathers together to build a city, and ironically God condemns this very act of total Unity.
So this is bizarre… for previously God destroyed the world that is violent, and now He separates the world by confusing their languages?!?… Because they are too Unified!?
Ultimately, violence and a notion that “we all must be the same,” are both the same thing!
They both come from the ego, for the mind can comprehend that it is okay for someone to be different!, and at the same time we can, not only be friends, but our differences create unique complimentary qualities! – Which leads to the grandest of Notions, summed up in the American motto, “E-Pluribus-Unum” that the diversity of our nation, “One Nation, United Under God, with Law, Justice and Liberty” is the greatest whole.
Chapter 2
Lech Licha
TO FIND – YOU MUST ABANDON
The story of Lech-Licha, of God commanding Abraham to leave his birthplace, “To go to the land that I will show you…” is the story of the first Communication we find with God to a Spiritual Seeker.
From the perspective of the Bible, the first person who truly seeks a spiritual solution to life is Abraham.
And the instruction that God tells him is relevant to any person who seeks meaning – beyond a simply selfish or narcissistic or sexually Driven Life.
The essence of God’s message to him, is, that if you seek the truth, meaning, purpose – the first thing you need to do, is abandon that which attracts you.
And there are three Mega-traps: the first is the culture of your land; because we are all so very vulnerable to imitate – as all of the world, both previously and currently do… – the stupidities, most often narcissistic, sometimes nationalistic insanities – that was the root of cultures, often engaging in jihad, “holy wars” – rendering otherwise rational people into not only their own death machines, but even worse, murder! – And as we see with radical Islam, rape and torture : ( : (

And so to begin with, we must realize, that our society, no matter what religious, nationalistic notion it has – is, as Freud amply demonstrated, that masses of people behave in infantile non-thinking mechanisms.
So once we abandon the “wisdom” of our society, we are ready for stage 2., which is to abandon our own innate instinctual drives:
For every person is born with tendencies; As the Bible of Jewish mysticism, the Tanya explains, based on Earth, Air, Fire, Water – some of us have a tendency to laziness and depression; others have a tendency to fun and frivolous Behavior; others have a tendency towards anger and ego; while others have a tendency towards addictions, based on Pleasure.
And we all have some of all four elements, and unless we can abandon our addiction, for we are all a primary addict to one of these tendencies… this will chain us into a bond, that will annihilate our potential.
The Third and greatest stupidity is the idea that the model that our father or household leader, who was of-course just a human being like any other; subjected to his own Role-Models, his own biases, and even if they are truly a wonderful person, but to somehow imagine that their wisdom is the “best?!”… – as we have this predilection to do – is of-course, trapping ourselves into their own highly limited, subjective, and unfortunately, often even evil ideas.
THE GPS
• As we abandon our comfort zone… for the Mind by nature seeks clarity… we make space in ourselves for the only truth, of spirituality, which is, We Are On A Mission, To Continuously Listen To The Direction That God Will Lead Us Towards.
LISTENING = BLESSING
• And then God says an amazing thing: that, if you truly will listen to Me – and we now have hindsight of four thousand years, to prove God’s words – God says to Abraham, “I Will Make You Into A Great Nation, I Will Bless You, And Make Your Name Blessed!”
In other words, by forging forth, with faith and courage, not only will we be not lost to society, we will become the blessing of society.
WISDOM = LISTEN
• And of-course Abraham being wise, obeys.
LIFE = LISTENING
• It’s interesting to note, that Abraham was 75 years old when he left his hometown, because this teaches us, that at all times, no matter what our age, the obligation and the opportunity and the wisdom to listen to God, is there!
FIRST OTHERS
• It’s very instructive that Abraham does not sit back when his nephew Lot is captured, for a spiritual person should not be oblivious to the pain and suffering… – and should set aside all his spiritual endeavors, to First and Foremost, help his fellow man!
TRUST IS ADMIRABLE
• We have an instructive story in which God tells Abraham to go out and count the Stars and He tells him, that this is the amount of children you will have, and he believes in God.
This was considered a positive merit; In other words, God Understands how difficult it is for us to suspend our psychological fears and lusts, which create beliefs and paradigms, and actually trust in Him!…
THE ARABS
• Now some – certainly the Arabs will not like this at all, but the Bible said this 4,000 years ago – “truth is truth”… and without truth we’re all dead…
The story is, that Sarah gave her maid Hagar to Abraham, hoping to build a lineage through this child, and an angel of God comes to Hagar and tells her to submit to Sarah, and that she will have a child, and a vast multitude will come from this child, and he will be a wild person, “He will be a thief, and all will likewise try to steal his goods; and eventually his callousness will cause his demise.”
BE SIMPLE + CIRCUMCISION
• The next story is the story that God Appears to Abraham – and is very instructive, because Abraham makes a fundamental error, for God says to him, “I am God, follow me, and Be simple.”
In other words, “Being simple” means, that we have no questions…. – and then God says, that “I will create a bond (or) a covenant between me and you, and I will make you very very multiplied;” and Abraham falls on his face in gratitude – then God says to him, “My Covenant with you, is you will be the father of many nations… I will make you very much propagated, and make you into Nations, and Kings will come from you, and I will keep my promise between me and you, between your children following you and their Generations forever – to be for you a God, and for your children afterwards… – And I will give to you and to your children following you, the land where you dwell; The entire land of Canaan, as an eternal Homeland. – And I will be for them a God.” (By the way, when it says, “I’ll be a God,” it means A Personal Guide!).
Then God says to Abraham, “Keep my bond (or Covenant…) You and your children following you for generations, and this bond is that every male should be circumcised at 8 days old; All your males, whether your children or your servants, and so my bond is in your flesh forever.”
To digress, why did God choose circumcision as the bond? And the answer is, that as we mentioned before – to be bonded to God, one must lesson their instinctual, certainly sexual, narcissistic desires.
Then God said to Abraham, “Your wife Sarai should not be called Sarai, because her name is Sarah; I have blessed her, and I am also giving her a son; and I will bless her, and he will be many Nations; Kings of Nations from her will come.”
And Abraham then laughs and he says in his heart, ‘Is it possible that a hundred year old man, and Sarai, a 90 year old woman will give birth?’

So he says to God, “Just let my son Yishmoel, live before you….”
This was a critical mistake, because the words of a prophet come true, and therefore by saying these words, it was predicted – which occurred in our time, that the Arabs would gain Global dominance – so the lesson of-course… That when God speaks – Accept His Words As Truth, For There Is No Power That Can Stop His Words.
Chapter 3 – Vayeira
GOD LOVE’S LOVE

One of the fascinating lessons our sages derive from the behavior of Abraham is – Imagine God came to you, and suddenly you see other people – (and as the Messiah gets ever more present… so the “Still Small Voice Of God” becomes more frequent, hence this can become a normal occurrence…) and we find Abraham, who of-course as our sages say: “The behavior of our forefathers is the Ultimate model to us,” so Abraham so to say, abandons God, and runs to greet his guests!…
For The Ultimate Desire Of God, Is Human Compassion.
HOW TO BE LOVING
• Of-course, Abraham is the ultimate Paradigm of hospitality, and he says to these three strangers: “My Masters, if I have found favor in your eyes, please do not depart from your servant – please take a little water and wash your feet, and rest under the tree and I will get bread, and you will be comforted; and afterwards you will go from your servant.”
We see from here, that when we do kindness, we should always make the OTHER person, feel like the king!
HOSPITALITY
• Abraham then runs to the tent and he says to Sarah, “Hurry, please prepare three fine flower measures, and make loaves,” and then he runs to the cattle, and he takes the best of his calves and he gives it to his lad, and he hurries him to make it;
He then take some butter and milk, and the calf which he made, and he gives it to them, and he stands above them under the tree and they eat.
PEACE IS THE GOAL
• The next story is exceptionally important, because these angels tell Abraham, that next year, “We will return, and you will have a son;”
And Sarah, who is listening, laughs, because she had already passed menopause;
And God says to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh?”
And then He specifically Lies! by changing the wording of Sarah, who said in her heart that “It is impossible for me to have children… as well as my husband is old.”
So God, did not want to create friction, so He omitted the latter part.
This is critical to understand, for as the Talmud says, that if it is going to cause peace, not only should you lie, you must.
GOD’S QUEST
• Now the next episode is exceptionally critical, for God says, that the reason He chose Abraham is, “Because I know that he will instruct his children and his household following him, and they will follow the way of God, to be compassionate and just.” – In other words, we see from this two things: firstly, that it is critical to raise children with Biblical values, without which, as we see, children fall apart; and secondly, what is critical to understand, is that the world God seeks, can be summed up in these two words, a “compassionate – just.”
GOD’S QUEST – REWARDING
• What is perhaps even more amazing, is that God says, that the reason that this sequence of events, namely, that Abraham will teach his children, and they will fulfill God’s will, is all in order to reward him!
GOD’S LIMIT
• We find fascinating terminology in that God says, that “The cries of Injustice from the city of Sidoim have reached my ears”- “Let us go down and see if it has reached the maximum point where they deserve destruction.”
COMPASSION – PRAY
• Another very important lesson is, Abraham certainly could have been somewhat “morally-Superior,” and yet he sees his fellow man as similar; and therefore, instead of Simply allowing a negative judgment, what he does, is he prays for them.
JEWISH WOMEN
• It is very interesting to note; as will further be played out, that in fact not only is the birth of the Jewish Nation through the righteous mothers – but even its protection!
Because, while Abraham was a man of love… as is often the case, women with their intuition, and in this case Sarah, seeing Yishmoel’s jealousy that would lead him to murder – forced Abraham to send him away.
YOU OR TRUTH
We now enter into a most bizarre episode, whereby God clearly says in the Bible – He was only testing Abraham… and He tells him to offer his son as a sacrifice!!
The obvious question is, “Does God have nothing better to do with – if we can call it, ‘God’s life?’? And the lesson is exceptionally exceptionally profound, for as the episode concludes, God says to him, “Now I know you fear God.”
As Kabbalah teaches, Abraham’s personal character trait was one of being a loving person, and his hallmark and life is one of kindness and compassion; but as we mentioned at the very beginning of Lech-Licha, the only way for a person to be spiritual, and have true meaning and values in life, is by abandoning their personality, even their positive instincts!… and agreeing wholeheartedly with each and every instruction that comes from God.
Chapter 4 – Chayei Sara
TRUE LIFE
It is so interesting to note, that often the Bible will use as a title for an episode when speaking about the passing of a righteous person, as, “The Life…” For example, this Torah portion begins, “And the life of Sarah was…”
For, a person who is passionate about truth – their soul remains eternally, alive.
PHYSICAL TO SPIRIT
• The Bible uses an interesting language to denote the transfer of property from Efroin the Chitait to Abraham, as “The field got Up;”
For when something is used by a righteous person – the physical becomes spiritual.
A FULL LIFE
• The Bible uses instructive language, “Abraham was old, filled with days,” and the Kabbalah teaches, this means, that all his days had been filled with purpose.
YOUR MISSION
• One of the most interesting and instructive episodes of the Bible, is the story of Eliezer from Damascus, who was the servant of Abraham, and he goes off on a mission – the Lubavitcher Rebbe – one of the greatest Masters, teaches, that this parallels each one of us; that we each are on a mission, and we must know exactly what the mission is, and when we succeed, like Eliezer, instead of becoming arrogant, we must become amazed.
IDENTITY
• It is further instructive, how Eliezer describes himself, namely, “I am the servant of Abraham;”
This teaches us, that every Jew, in fact every person, our primary identity must be, “I Am The Servant Of God!”
And of-course, in every generation, God sends an Abraham, a Moses, a Rebbe, who transmits the practical application of the Divine instructions.
Chapter 5 – Toildois
JEWS
It is of-course instructive to note that when God speaks about the child of Abraham, he mentions exclusively Isaac, for it is Isaac who carries on his spiritual Legacy.
JEWS = LONG-TERM
• It is of-course instructive to note, that Jacob dedicates himself to the study of Torah, while Aisav pursues the life of leisure and hunting, and people who pursue leisure instead of thinking long-term, and seeing what will be good for them… throw their lives away.

SHORT TERM
We find an interesting trend by evil people; whether it was Kayin or whether it is a Eisav… in that, though they crave Divine attention and blessings, they are simply unwilling or unable, or both – to give up their ego’s self-centeredness.
Chapter 6 – Vayeitzei
TRUE JEW
We are now introduced to what the Jewish sages teach, is, the best of the forefathers – Jacob.
Ironically, his life seems very mundane – he must leave his parents’ home as his angry brother wishes to kill him.
In Jacob we see G-d’s true intent – for both Abraham and Isaac lead somewhat mystical lives – Abraham of-course, fathered the belief in G-d, and it seems like the dice just rolls constant sixes…
In Isaac, we find what our sages refer to, “A complete sacrifice.”

In fact, he never leaves Israel, as his holiness was so sublime.

Though we do see some trouble, but generally he remains over it.
Jacob begins the process, which G-d originally intended for reality, namely, that the effect of the Torah’s truth – which he had studied from birth from Abraham, as well as Isaac (this is the meaning that Jacob was, “A simple person, dwelling in the tents;” namely the tent of Torah) must now go beyond the sublime, and into the everyday.
As such, Jacob goes to sleep, and G-d appears to him, and effectively reiterates the promise that the Jewish people will inherent Israel (thanks!) and secondly, tells him effectively: “Fear not, for I am with you.”
Now Jacob awakens – realizes how holy this place is, and makes a vow, that if G-d truly will be with him, protect him… give him clothing and food… he will come back and offer a sacrifice.

Additionally, we find the first reference of someone pledging ten percent of their income to charity.
So ironically, though this may seem ordinary… it is only because, the way of Jacob, the humble person who understands – we are continuously in need of G- d for nothing less than the shirt on our back, the bread on our table, and certainly the income that provides it – and as such, we shall endeavor to give! – is the Jewish approach.
INVOKE APPRECIATION
• A very touching story is how “G-d saw that Leah was hated…” – in other words, G-d understood how much a woman desires her husband’s love – and therefore “G-d gives her children,” – in order that Jacob’s love for her should be born.

You see, to love another, we need to see how they are in our interest (which do.)
HOLY MARITAL INTIMACY
A powerful important lesson is derived from Jacob’s ability to create speckled and other shapes on the sheep that are born, by showing them these images upon their conception… – whatever we imagine when we conceive (a child,) greatly impacts.
Chapter 7 Vayishlach
SATISFIED – ALLS WELLS THAT ENDS WELL

It is interesting to note, that the Torah uses the terminology that Yitzchok passed away, “Old and satisfied” – for can there be anything better??
Chapter 8 – Vayeishev
SILENCE IN THE FACE OF EVIL OR COMPASSION
We find a powerful truth – the brothers of Josef were jealous – jealousy (as we mentioned in part 1) causes the desire to murder.
However it took but a single voice, the voice of Yehudah, who voiced a bit of compassion, to save his life – Your Voice May Save!
RAPE
Unfortunately as it has been called, in our “cry rape culture,” we find a story of a woman who desiring a man, and being spurned, cries ‘rape’ – as is obvious, all people must be deemed innocent until otherwise proven.
Chapter 9 Mikeitz
DREAMS = COMMUNICATION
It is fascinating, as one reads the Bible to see how many many dreams – communications from on high – appear.
Just a short list: we have the dream of Abraham (where G-d shows him the future.)
We have the dream of Jacob and his ladder.
We have the dream of Josef as a king.
Then we have the dreams that Josef interprets: first of the baker, and butler, and then of Pharaoh.
The truth is that dreams are one of the ways which messages – often in riddles – are transferred.
Chapter 10 Vayigash & Vayechi
ARROGANCE = HATE HUMILITY = LOVE
One of the hallmarks of the Jewish people – of Israel/Jacob (the father and progenitor) is the consistent understanding that all that comes to him, is really a gift.
As Kabbalah teaches, in life, we can feel entitled, and hence, whatever we get, contributes to our stupid “superiority” (and in fact, only makes us more arrogant… more hungry for “MORE!” in a never-ceasing cycle, of both stupidity and arrogance – itself which causes intolerance, jealousy, hate, maliciousness etc.) OR we can be in a cycle of GRATITUDE – which causes Peace, Love, Unity, Compassion etc.
VICTIM VS. VICTORIOUS
• We find from Josef, the perfect way of how to deal with life:
So many of us have been hurt….
Was anyone as hurt as Josef??… whose own brothers sold him as a slave?!
Yet not only, takes he not vengeance; he feeds, sustains, cares, and in fact, loves!
For Josef being a believer realized a fundamental truth: if I could, I would say, this is the most important lesson ever! – no matter what happens to you, whether good or bad, is a gift!!! You see, G-d is only in the gift giving business!

As the Baal Shem Tov teaches, when you can find the good in the bad, the bad itself will be good! – Such an attitude allows us, instead of feeling as victims (hence leading miserable, bitter, resent-filled (resentful) lives…) to lead joyous, happy, gracious, loving, giving, benevolent ones!
JEWS AND/FOR GENTILES
• As we conclude the book of Genesis, a distinct pattern emerges: a. G-d creates His world, but within His world there are two groups- there are the Jews and the Gentiles – the Jewish people are given the gift of insight – deep spiritual-truths – of-course G-d sends the Jews with their truth to bring it to everyone.
Chapter 11 Shemois
MOSES
It is very interesting to note, that we find three episodes in which Moses appalled by evil, takes the initiative: he kills an Egyptian (who is cruelly beating someone;) he condemns a person about to hurt another; he chases away male shepherds who are blocking shepherdesses (Yitro’s daughters ) from getting water.
Could this be the reason why he is seen by G-d – as a person who cares for the oppressed – makes him a redeemer.
Chapter 12 – Va-ayra-Boi
FAITH VS. FEAR
We find that G-d, as He tells Moses, is planning a historical lesson… It is obvious that the path of the Jewish people – its enslavement in Egypt, and the miracles to free them, are part of a Divine message: Firstly that cruelty is wrong;
Secondly, that we can rely on G-d.
EDUCATION
We find furthermore, that G-d establishes the Passover holiday – for we must always be aware, that our children born into an agnostic world, need to be told that there is a. G-d, b. Who Cares!
Chapter 13 -Bishalach
DIVINE RELATIONSHIP
In this Torah portion we get introduced to a new type of Divine / human relationship – namely, G-d tells Moses to tell the Jewish people (and of-course somewhat to everyone) “If you keep my commandments, you will be blessed.”
DIVINE OBEDIENCE
• Furthermore G-d tests them by sending Manna from heaven and instructing them to not leave over any – in other words, and this is critical… If G-d is real, you can simply obey…;
Just as an employee knows his job is but to listen; and obviously the Infinite employer cares.

HATE AMALEK
• We now find the tragic reality, that in every generation there is some Amalek… – some screwed up people – and in ours it is/was the Arabs – who decide/d, it is/was their mission to wipe out the Jews.
G-d says, forget not! – those who forget – invite evil.
Chapter 14 – Yisro
LEGAL SOCIETY
The first nation – again meant to be a role-model to everyone – which establishes a practice of a legal society, are the Jews.

In every society there will be disagreements.
In order for society to function, there must be an equitable solution.
Obviously each party considers itself just – and hence at the very outset of the Jewish people, in the desert, an elaborate system of having righteous judges – people of integrity, dealing with any case, until Moses dealing with the most complex, is founded.
BE HOLY
• Now G-d is about to give the Jewish people the Torah – and as an introduction, He tells Moses to tell them that, “If you will keep my commandments, you will be a special nation, a Holy People!”
In other words, the primary reason to listen to G-d, is simply it is the right, just, noble (as opposed to simply a selfish, narcissistic etc.) path.
Chapter 16 Mishpatim
MARRIAGE (NOT HOOK-UP)
Among the many laws in this Torah portion, a fundamentally important one for our bizarre “hookup culture.”

G-d, the creator of humans, of human hearts, states, that a man that convinces a girl to sleep with him, has the obligation to marry – you see, why does this law follow the laws of theft?

For just as there is stealing – robbing another’s property, there is robbing a heart.
In plain English, a woman is not looking for a one-night-stand; Womens’ nature is “deals” – it is their assumption, that if they give themselves, the man will.
To do anything less, is nothing less than a form of rape/of heart.
Chapter 16 Terumah / Tetzaveh
DAILY PRAYER
Here we find what our sages teach is the most important verse in the Bible – believe it or not! – “Offer one Sheep as a sacrifice in the morning, and one in the afternoon.”
It might seem interesting – Why, out of the 613 commandments in the Torah, 200! (that’s app. 1 out of 3) are about a single place of worship? The Beis Hamikdosh, the Holy Temple?!
We know Judaism, is about love (goodness and kindness) so why is there such an emphasis on prayer? – Devotion? (some actually mistaken this as G-d’s ego…)
The answer is simple enough – to the extent that an ideal matters is how much it will be followed – and particularly by us men, whom flights of fancy (fantasy) can capture our imagination – hence by routinely, twice daily reminding ourselves that G-d is to whom we pay homage, then and only then, will we.
However of-course the goal is not to pay homage; the goal, as the verses concludes is, that we create an opening in our heart – for if G-d can dwell in the Holy of Holies, in the Holy Temple, where from there the voice of G-d (the Holy Spirit / Ruach Hakodesh) emanated to talk to Moses, certainly within the heart (and head) of any seeker.
Chapter 17
Ki Sisah
THE UNKNOWABLE
There is a profound lesson in this Torah portion, for Moses begs G-d to explain (or reveal) Himself (Who He Is?…)
G-d says, “You can see my back, but not my front.”
You see, Kabbalah teaches, that G-d’s mechanism is, that a. He has a vision, b. He creates the mechanism (for example, G-d had a vision that the Jewish people through fulfilling the Torah and Mitzvahs (Bible and her commandments) would merit the bringing of Moshiach – hence the mechanism is creating a world… creating the Jewish people… creating the Torah… creating free choice etc… eventually after thousands of years of Jewish people choosing to keep the Torah and Mitzvos they will merit the future… )
c. Once the mechanism is fulfilled, so too the vision – but the human, unaware of the vision – only perhaps the mechanism – can only see in hindsight, not fore.
Chapter 18 Vayakhel Pikuidei
YOUR GPS
G-d tells us that there was a cloud representing G-d hovering over the Mishkahn (the portable Beis Hamikdosh built by Moses and the Jews under G-d’s tutelage.)
Now when the cloud lifted it would be a sign that the Jews should follow – when it rested, they should stay put.
Those fortunate enough to hear the voice of G-d, which is what the cloud represents (the Shechinah, the Holy Spirit / Ruach Hakodesh) must realize, that just as if you were a car – and you had an automated GPS – it is obvious, that when not to move, is as important as when too – your job is to await and follow instructions.
Chapter 19
The Book of Bamidbar
MOSES THE REBBE
We find the story, of Miriam saying to Aaron, “Why did Moses separate from his wife?” (“Has G-d not also spoken to us…”) She is punished, and G-d explains, “How could you dare speak negatively on my servant Moses (unlike all people, God speaks to him, ‘face to face.’”) In other words, there is an important lesson here – for whatever you can think – in fact, whatever you do think – for we find also Korach complains against Moses… not understanding, that everything you know, comes from Moses! and everything He knows, comes directly from G-d.
ANGER = STUPID
• We find Moses got angry, and instead of speaking to the rock hits it; the Talmud tells us: “Three places Moses got angry, and in each he made an error;” if the greatest of all men, anger causes stupidity….

MOSHIACH
Of-course, we’re privileged to read in the story of Billam, the Gentile prophet – the words prophesying, both about King David and Moshiach.
Chapter 20 The Book Of Devarim
PRAY
Every day we pray – the idea of prayer is to arouse our deep heartfelt appreciation for, and love to G-d.
LISTEN=BLESSING VS. IGNORE=MISERY

• G-d says, “See I am placing before you both a choice between life and death, a blessing and curse – if you listen to what I tell you….”
• (others, who themselves are but bad copies…)
• (people who pretend…)
TRUE OR EXPEDIENT
• In fact, the reason G-d allows demigods (even sometimes false prophets, namely anyone who veers away from the laws of the Torah, even if he can do a miracle!…) for G-d is testing: Are you about truth? (or the latest fad or fear.)

THE REBBE
• In every generation, G-d sends a prophet, as great as Moses.
ACT COMPASSIONATELY
• Our job is to be good, special, kind – we must have compassion – when we see someone lacking anything, we must take this as a sign, that G-d desires that we should help them. (I know someone who getting on a plane, saw someone with a specific illness, and his compassion led him to open a foundation to help cure!)
In the merit of helping others, G-d will help you (and give you more money.)

Remember, there will always be a percentage of the population (as Warren Buffet attests) that are unable to find work.
BEFORE MARRIAGE – DON’T TOUCH
• A Jewish girl (and guy) before marriage, should never be intimate (it is considered harlotry.)
• .
CHARITY
Recognize that all your wealth is a gift – if possible, give tithe (10% – though ideally 20%, and ideally, everything.)
THE END IS THE BEGINNING
The entire goal of G-d’s “game,” is, that now, in the end of times (right before the messianic redemption) as we look back over thousands of years – as we contemplate the foolishness of living aimless, stupid lives, we turn with all our heart, soul, to G-d.
JUST DO
It is in fact, very easy to do all of G-d commandments, for what is asked of us: simply, Just Do!

Do not cheapen the value of G-d’s commandments – it is your sole/soul purpose.

Book 2
I am happy now to share with you G-d’s Ethics – these are what we call Mitzvos / Divine Instructions which are how to lead an ethical life (these are the ones that relate mainly to interpersonal relationships.)

Introduction
Never before have more people hungered, as the prophecy, that ten world hungers would exist – nine for food and one for the word of G-d.
Judaism is currently honored as having a age old tradition clarifying the Divine intent.
As such, it pays to mention that we believe that the Bible is merely an infinite headline – on one level each verse can be explained on four dimensions (called Pardes). Each dimension itself contains no less than 600,000 variations (corresponding to the 600,000 Jewish root souls from which all Jewish souls emanate.) And beyond this level is called Chassidus – an infinite dimension!
In the words of Rabbi Freedman, this world is God’s classroom – our experiences contain lessons; as the Baal Shem Tov taught, every experience contains an insight which we must probe, understand, implement, and then abandon, to make room for the next – certainly this is true in every verse of the Bible.
But succinctly, we Jews have a tradition that there are 613 commandments:
Of these, there are three types: one is called “edus” testament between the unique relationship of G-d and the Jewish people, such as Passover and the other Jewish festivals, the Sabbath. Fundamentally, the Edus make sense, once they are revealed. Then there is a second type called “chukim,” for-example Kosher, which the reason was never revealed and we do it on blind faith – perhaps the most important notion, that ethics are not arbitrarily decided, but Divinely mandated; and then there are “mishpatim” laws which any ethical person would agree to.
I have come to realize there is great value in writing down these laws, for though all of Judaism as the great master and Rabbi, Menachem Mendel Shcneershon taught boils down to goodness and kindness – the Torah (Bible) gives us an absolute clarity as to our obligations (an important concept that being good and kind is not extra nor heroic but the difference between being barbaric or not.)
Fundamentally in G-d’s world there are simply brothers and sisters – certainly from G-d’s perspective we are all his children and hence our bonds for one another rise not out of compassion nor pity but rather brotherly love, a scene of familial duty.
Interpersonal Laws

Love your fellow man as yourself.
Rabbi Akivah said “this is the foundational principle of the entire Torah.”
In other words, love is an emotion that engenders giving.
Without love humans only use (hopefully not abuse) one another.
The question of course is, how do I love another?
The answer is, love is a result of identification – this is why families who know they have a common bond find a common love.
In other words, by understanding what you have in common with another, you automatically will love them:
On a soul level we are all G-d and there is but one G-d.
Even on the soul in the body level, we are all here as the foundational instructions from the Mishnah to serve G-d (fulfill his will.) This being the case, like many employees of the same company, we share a common job, though the particulars may and obviously should differ, based on gender, local etc.
An instructive teaching is from Rabbi Hillel, whom a gentile once asked him to explain the entire Torah while he stands on one foot. Replied Hillel “That which you wish not another to do to you, do not do to them, this is the entire Torah, the rest is commentary.”

A deep lesson arises, if we analyze Hillel’s words; for a profound question is, wouldn’t it make more sense to say it the other way around – namely, “That which you want others to do to you, do for them. Is that not a more positive versus negative approach.”

Rather Hillel was teaching, the one thing we truly dislike is being shamed. Just as you wish that no one should ever shame you – in other words, even if you have a fault – so to, the entire Torah is teaching us, never shame anyone.

The secret to this is found in G-d’s exact precise wording.

Love your fellow as you love yourself. Not as much, but as. In other words, just as you can overcome your faults, and do not see them as making you unlovable; for wherever there is real love there is forgiveness, similarly to your friends.

The Holy Baal Shem Tov takes this a step further – when you see something wrong in your friend, you are actually only seeing a subconscious (in other words, something you are not conscious of) evil within yourself. He compares this to a person looking in a mirror who can only see dirt if there is dirt on him.

This is a profound psychological truth (sort of “discovered “ by Carl Jung as well.)

So whenever we become judgmental, the real reason is not because we care about justice, rather we are jealous that another person is happy (this in truth explains the irrational obsession of bullying, terrorism, antisemitism, to malign.)
Meditation
“You and I are the same.”

Do not hate a fellow (hold a grudge.)

This is the flipside of loving everyone. There are two options if someone has given you reason to hate them: 1. forgive them in your heart, which is the higher way, or 2. confront them and tell them why you are upset with them.

Holding onto a grudge is as one psychologist told me “like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

The Zohar teaches, we should learn from Josef who through his belief that all comes from a benevolent G-d not only did not avenge his brother’s gross injustice to him but in fact fed and cared for them.
Meditation
“I forgive everyone!”

Educate a person who is doing something wrong.
It is wrong to watch someone doing something wrong and not help them by not educating them. Obviously this education must be done out of love, not with a sense of superiority or anger.
Meditation
“I will strive to educate fellow man in the most gentle caring way possible.”
4.. Do not embarrass anyone (this includes family members.)
As this commandment is a continuation of the previous commandment, thus the sages deduce, that moral education must be done in a way that the person realizes that you only want to help them, such as saying, “May I tell you something only for your benefit?”
Meditation
“I will never embarrass anyone.”
Do not insult or hurt in any way a widow or an orphan.
Human nature is to take advantage of the weak; however G-d’s nature is to take up the cause of the oppressed; so one must be super-careful when speaking to people who feel weaker, such as an orphan or a widow (as they lack a protector and thus feel alone and perhaps the same should be applied to a divorcée today.) To speak gently, kindly, compassionately, mercifully, and to never ever cause them any harm, pain, or sorrow.
Meditation
“I will be extra careful when dealing with a widow or an orphan, in order to be extra kind, gentle, compassionate and loving.”
Do not be a gossiper – talebearer.
There can be no more damaging crime then ruining the reputation of someone else – even if the information is true (unless it’s to protect another from damage).
Meditation
“Thank You for never destroying another through me.”
Do not take revenge.
We all want to settle a score, to rectify an injustice, to balance an inequality; however, we would be far wiser to not let ourselves be sullied, by getting into the dirt thrown at us – as our sages teach us, “one who throws dirt at a dirty person gets dirty.” Better to have a clean soul than to get muddied and sullied in emulating an evil person or evil behavior.
Meditation
“I will never take revenge, for I prefer a bruised ego than a bruised soul.”
Do not take Netirah
Netirah is helping someone who didn’t help you, yet telling them: “Unlike you, I will help you.” Again this allows our souls to be pure – free from blemishes and negative behavior.
Meditation
“I will never be rude to anyone, even one who was rude to me.”
Commandments Relating To Marriage – It should be mentioned, these commandments actually fall into Divine unfathomable decrees hence not the general gist of this book, nonetheless as is obvious, the basic premises are beneficial.
Do not have intercourse unless one is married.
In today’s age when people live together before marriage, people actually have far less experiences of marital intimacy and less pleasurable ones, for the mystique of intimacy in the healthy framework of a loving and committed marriage is not there.
Meditation
“I will not have intercourse unless I am married!”
The husband’s basic duties to his wife according to the Bible are to provide food, clothing and to have intercourse with his wife as often as is pleasing to both of them.
Meditation
“I will make my wife happy!”
A man and wife may only have marital relations when she is not a niddah. (Generally speaking, this would be from the onset of menstruation for approximately two weeks thereafter.)
Meditation
“We will only have marital intimacy in the method advised by the Bible!”
Have children from one’s wife.
Specifically this refers to having one son and one daughter. It should also be mentioned that birth control may only be used with specific Rabbinical permission and people who only have two children lose out on the greatest blessing in life, namely, children.
Having children fulfills our obligation to create the future generation.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for the privilege to assist you in bringing a soul to earth.”
If unfortunately there is irreconcilable animosity, the husband may divorce his wife through a bill of divorce, as prescribed in Jewish law.
Divorce is frowned upon. In this day and age when over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, it is because the sanctity and holiness of marriage is not fully appreciated. G-d designs whom marries whom, and thus every effort should be made for reconciliation in order to procure a harmonious relationship. Please read my book “Kabbalah Love” for great marital techniques.
If someone divorced his wife and she subsequently remarried, she may not remarry him afterwards.
In general it is a good deed for a divorced couple to remarry (provided that the proviso above is not violated.)
The Torah is very clear that someone who does entice a woman into having intercourse with him before marriage is obligated to marry her.
Unfortunately this law has great relevance now when so many people do sleep together before marriage. It is the moral duty of the bachelor to marry his girlfriend as there is no question that most often the girlfriend desires marriage, children etc. which is her hope and the reason she chose her boyfriend.
Meditation
“I will be a mentsh / decent human being.”
A Jew may only marry a Jewess.
As Judaism proscribes, that a Jew is born of a Jewish mother (except in the case of proper conversion) hence for a male to marry a gentile is to forfeit his four thousand year unbroken heritage as it cannot be passed on without a Jewish mother and conversely as studies show, for a Jewess to marry out of faith, though her children are one hundred percent Jewish, the chances of her heritage carrying on, unlikely.
We each have a soul mission to accomplish which we do by being the best member of our “tribe” possible.
Meditation
“Thank you for allowing me to fulfill my destiny.”
A man may not lie carnally with another man.
Though there has been a mass propaganda whitewashing male intercourse, the Creator of mankind and guide of life states what is a true (not fleeting libidinal gratification) benefit.
Commandments relating to promises
Do not deny possessing an object that someone has given you to watch or hold for them.
As this person may not have proof, a person’s Yetzer Hara [evil inclination] may entice them to deny its existence and keep it for themselves.
Do not swear falsely, denying that you have received an object to watch or hold for someone.
Swear in G-d’s name honestly.
By keeping G-d’s name sacred, not only do we respect G-d, but we create a system whereby we know that someone is telling the truth, when they swear in G-d’s name.
Keep promises and pledges.
Meditation
“By keeping my promises, I am a truthful person!”
Do not go back on your word (this includes, if you verbally make a commitment to do a good thing; despite the fact that you have not committed to someone in particular.)
If a person has a commitment to charity or a pledge that they undertook and they cannot keep it, they need to have the promise annulled, which can be facilitated by an Orthodox Rabbi or a Talmudic scholar.
Meditation when annulling a vow
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to keep the sanctity, sacredness, and honor of my words, by officially annulling my promise and not ignoring it.”
Charity
In the agricultural society of ancient Israel, the primary way of charity was through the giving of crops to the less fortunate, thus we find many commandments enabling the poor to receive sustenance. Although many of these commandments do not apply to us today, I have included some with mediations, for the morals and the ethics they teach are eternally valuable.
Leave the corner of one’s field for the poor.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to help your people!”
To leave fallen stalks when sheathing for the poor.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to help people!”
To leave “lonely” grapes on the vine for the poor (grapes which are not in clusters.)
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to assist others!”
To leave the clusters of grapes that haven fallen on the ground during harvesting for the poor.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to nourish others!”
When sheathing or harvesting and one has cut a bundle in the field but left it there inadvertently; when one remembers about it later, one should leave it for the poor.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to assist the less fortunate!”
To leave a tenth of the produce for the poor and the Levites. In this day and age one should give a tenth of income (after taxes) when possible, to a charitable institution. One’s tithe may also be used for their children’s Torah education which is also a commandment and is more expensive than secular education. People who give ten percent to charity report, that it only increases their annual income. Indeed our Sages have prophesized, “Give a tenth, in order to earn wealth.”
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for sanctifying, elevating, and spiritualizing the money I earn, transforming it into a vehicle for goodness and kindness.”
Give charity and assistance to the poor according to one’s capabilities.
Meditation when giving charity
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to help whomever I can!”
Do not close your heart to the poor.
Life is a wheel, he who is on top one year, may be on the bottom the next and vice-versa, the clever man realizes that money that he gives to charity is stored in a heavenly vault and one day when he or his children or grandchildren may be in need, the vault will be opened for them. You get what you give.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for teaching me how to be humane!”
Damages
If you damage someone else’s property, purposefully or accidentally, you need to repay the full amount of the damage.
Meditation
“Thank you for teaching me how to be an ethical and moral person!”
Do not steal (taking anything that belongs to someone else.)
Meditation
“Thank you for teaching me how to be a good person!”
Be sure to have correct weighing machines (for example, people who weigh diamonds with the slightest mistake could cause damages of thousands of dollars. As weighing was the primary method of selling objects, like food, in the olden days, there are a few important laws relating to scrupulousness in this.)
Do not kidnap.
Do not steal (this refers to armed robbery as opposed to the previous stealing [law 2] which is done secretly.)
Do not rip people off. Pretend something is far more valuable than it really is.
Do not be jealous of an exclusive item that someone else has and consider how to take it from him (even by pressuring him/her to accept money for it.)
Meditation
“Thank you G-d exclusively for what you have given me!”
Do not desire that which belongs to someone else (this does not refer to something that can be purchased, rather something which is unique like his house, position, painting etc.)
The way to achieve this is to know that everything that man has was given to them by G-d. It is impossible for one person to own a unique possession that another person has.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for what you have given me!”
Return what you stole.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to reclaim my morality!”
1o. Do not ignore a lost object (try to find its owner if it is identifiable.)
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to make the owner of this lost object gratified!”
Return a lost object.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to make someone else happy!”
Pay damages for hurting someone physically.
There are five levels of damages that need to be paid: 1. Medical expenses. 2. Lost work time. 3. For pain (deduced by a Rabbinical court based on how much the person would pay to not have that pain.) 4. For shame (depending on the status of the individual and the embarrassing manner of the harm). 5. For permanent disability (so if G-d-forbid a surgeon lost his hand, the total value of all the work which he is likely to do with that hand must be compensated.)
Do not murder.
If you are witnessing a crime scene where an attacker is about to shoot the victim it is a commandment to shoot (if possible) the attacker first.
Do not show any mercy towards the attacker (as mercy to a murder will cause the murder of the merciful (i.e. the victim.))
Do not watch another person drowning, getting attacked by a wild animal, or bad people, or know of a plot to harm a person and not inform them – when you can save the person.
Do not possess a dangerous object (such as a viscous dog or a rickety ladder).
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for preventing me from feeling guilty over a wrongful injury or death!”
Create fences that protect people (such as a fence on a second floor patio, rooftop, around a pool etc.)
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for preventing anyone to be injured (or worse) because of my property!”
Do not give bad advice to people.
We have a tendency to enjoy giving people advice – before we do ask yourself: “am I an expert in this field?” For there is no worse feeling than not only to not have helped someone seeking our help but leading them down a rotten road.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for not allowing me to feel guilty through harming someone through bad advice!”
Assist a traveler if they are in need of help, like their car broke down and they cannot fix it and you can help them.
Assist someone with their packages, like an old man who cannot put his groceries in the car.
If you can assist – remember the very fact you see something you can assist makes it a mission from G-d – it is forbidden to desist.

Commandments relating to one‘s possessions and honor

In general we may never take the law into our own hands – firstly we should try to comprise (the use of mediators is gaining popularity and is preferable to court.) Secondly if this fails we should go to court and rely on G-d.
Do not cheat someone in business.
The Talmud relates that the very first question that a person is asked when they come to heaven is, “Were you honest in business?”
One may not insult anyone.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for preventing me from one of the worst sins (evils) possible!”
Rentals, protecting objects, and working
The commandment is for the Jewish courts to rule on disputes arising from when A. rents an object from B. – or someone who hired another to watch an object and the object got stolen or lost.
One must pay a tradesman as soon as possible.
Do not delay paying the tradesman (for this is his livelihood and it is considered as if you have stolen his livelihood if you do not pay him immediately on completion of the job.)
A field worker may eat from the connected fruit of the tree or the vine (not from what has been picked already for the owner.)
A field worker must wait until after everything has been picked and only then eat from what is left on the tree.
A field worker may not collect food in a bag for himself (he may only eat on location).
One may not muzzle one’s animal (as it causes unnecessary pain to not allow the animal to eat when it is hungry; of-course this does not refer to a wild animal which one may never keep, as mentioned in the law relating to not possessing a dangerous object.)
The law relating to someone who kindly offers to watch someone else’s possessions for free. (For example, my friend is going on vacation and he gives me his computer to guard, I am only responsible to pay him for it if I was negligible and there was a theft somehow – like leaving the door to my home wide open or leaving it unattended in a public place. If however it was stolen (even if it was not an armed theft) but I have not been negligible (as it is just as protected as my own possessions) I do not have to pay him back.)
The Law relating to a person who borrows an object. (For example if I borrow a tape recorder from my friend I must always pay him back even if it was stolen in an armed robbery, for I was the one receiving all the benefit from borrowing the tape recorder and although it was out of my control, nevertheless my friend need not lose out because of the favor he did for me. If however the tape recorder simply packed up while I was using it (and I didn’t do anything wrong) then I need not pay him back, because the entire intention of borrowing the tape recorder was to use it.)
Lending Money
There is a specific Commandment to lend money to people in need. This is even greater than giving money to a person. For a person who is borrowing has not had the indignity of having to beg for money and people like to maintain their dignity, so by helping them maintain their dignity, G-d will help you maintain yours.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to help someone maintain their dignity.”
If you know the person does not have the money to pay you back, you may not pain him by pressing him or even asking him for the money. Furthermore, you may not even appear before him (i.e. if you will meet walking along the street you should cross the street before you meet him) in order to prevent him being ashamed as he does not have the money to pay.
This is truly a very noble act, for which G-d will certainly bless someone in return.
Meditation
“Thank you G-d for allowing me to help someone maintain their dignity.”
“Do not oppress you brother” means do not demand money from someone you lent money too but cannot repay it.
Do not forcibly take an object as collateral from someone who owes you money. In other words, if someone can pay you back but refuses to do so and you received a judgment against them, only a court appointed official could take the collateral but the lender could not barge into the borrower’s home and just take something, despite the fact the court might need to.
To return the collateral when the owner needs it. For example, to return a plow to a farmer daily for him to use it, for this is how he makes his living.
Do not delay in returning the collateral to the poor person when he needs it, like returning the pillow on time nightly, so he can sleep with it.
Do not take collateral from a widow.
Do not take collateral from items that are used in making food like an oven.
Do not take interest. Even if a person wants to pay us interest we are forbidden to take any interest from them. (Though it is obviously a good deed to lend money interest free I believe the prohibition of taking interest applies only Jew to Jew.)
Borrowing money
A person may not borrow with interest repayments (so as not to allow a Jew to transgress the Mitzvah to not lend with interest. However from a non-Jewish financial institution one may borrow / pay interest for they are not obligated not to charge you interest. In general, it is good advice to lower your interest payments.)
Do not assist in an interest bearing loans, as a witness, lawyer, etc. between Jewish people, as it is forbidden, as mentioned previously.
One may borrow with interest from a non-Jewish financial institution and lend with interest to a non-Jewish financial institution.
Inheritance
The Torah specifies the exact order of the most proper way to bequeath ones assets. After providing for ones wife, the first and best would be to divide equally between one’s children with the firstborn male son (if there is one) taking a double portion (as he bore the brunt of the parents expectations and also is usually like a father figure to the younger siblings. So if there were ten children the assets should be divided into eleven shares and the firstborn son should receive two shares and everyone else one share.) If there are no children it should go to the father of the deceased; if the father of the deceased has already died, it should go to the brothers or sisters of the deceased. If there are no brothers and sisters we continually search for a grandfather and his children (namely one’s uncles or aunts) and if they are not alive then one’s cousins and so we always go up a generation and find even a second or third cousin. It is clear, that the Torah’s view is, that one’s children should receive one’s financial success as it keeps G-d’s blessing in the family. Obviously charity is the most important contribution.
Laws relating to honoring parents
One may never curse, belittle, or disparage one’s parents.
We must be extra careful, for often we feel our parents should have done more; but if we actually think about what they have done for us, we realize how fortunate we are to have parents who care for us, shopped for us, fed us, protected us, etc.
One may never hit a parent.
Honor you parents. If one’s parents need financial assistance, then assist them to the best of your ability and serve them hand and foot. The story is told of a great Sage who saw in a vision that his portion in heaven would be with Nanes the butcher. He thought to himself, “How can it be that after dedicating my life to Torah I will only have a portion, the same as Nanes the butcher?!” He decided to discover who Nanes the butcher was. He searched for him all over Israel until he found him. “Tell me my son, is there any special Mitzvah you do?” “Well perhaps; I have elderly parents that are immobile. Every day I wash them, I feed them, I clothe them, and I take care of all their needs.” “How fortunate am I” said the great sage “that my portion of Heaven will be with you.”
Love and respect your parents; specifically, one does not sit in the designated chair which one’s parent sits in; one does not call their parents by their first name; and one should never contradict their parents, even if their parent is wrong.
A son should never take money from his parents without their permission.
Mourning
Mourn the passing of relatives; (Although the length of mourning differs, for example, one year for parents, and a month for everyone else; There are seven days following burial called Shiva whereby everyone visits the mourner who remains home to offer them comfort.) The following are the people one must sit Shiva for (the seven day mourning period) a Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, and Wife.
Burial
A person should be buried preferably on the same day that they died, whenever possible.
Additional
We are forbidden from tattooing our skin.
“Do not lust after your heart and after your eyes.” In the words of the Sifri, “The phrase, ‘do not lust after your heart, and after your eyes,’ refers to immoral behavior, as in the verse ‘And Shimshon said to his father [take her for me, for she is fitting in my eyes].’” The word z’nus [translated above as, “immoral behavior”] includes pursuing physical pleasures and desires, and constantly thinking about them.
Do not usurp another’s business. Though it has become axiomatic of capitalism to the extent of unfortunately “laudable” to quash competition, however according to G-d, everyone has an obligation to not knowingly usurp another’s income.
Treat an employee with greater dignity than yourself. A person should treat an employee with more dignity even what they expect for themselves, as whenever a situation arises that can be difficult to self-esteem we must add in dignity.
Teshuvah
Repent
After becoming cognizant that we unfortunately transgressed any of G-d’s commandments we need to firmly resolve after regretting the transgression to do what is right – furthermore we should say “I apologize G-d for having…..”
Meditation
“Thank You for allowing me to reclaim my Divinity”
Book (part) 3

The next Chapter of a book I wrote called G-d’s Guide which is an explanation of the 7 Universal Laws of G-d for Humanity (Called the Noahide Code.)

This book is unique in its simplicity as it combines both the mystical dimensions of Judaism as well as the practical, legal Divine laws for Gentiles, namely the whole world.
INTRODUCTION
Universal Code
Synergy is the combination of seemingly opposing, but actually mutually complementary forces.
Our task is to unite parts, to a sum greater than its parts.
As explained in this book, the world of the spiritual and the physical, are not in conflict.
Their ultimate purpose is that they be fused together, whereby the physical is permeated by the spiritual.
The core element of every Mitzvah – commandment from G-d in the Bible, is to take the physical creation and utilize it for its Divine intended purpose.
We thereby achieve a wonderful harmony both in the individual, and in the world at large, for like a symphony, the many parts work together in synchronicity.
This is a theme that encompasses all times and places. Wherever and whenever a person operates, by utilizing the task at hand for its correct Divine purpose, we transform the world into G-d’s home.
Every human being is, to borrow the Biblical phrase, “Created in the image of G-d”, and thus fit to “imitate G d”; an imitation pertinent to all humankind, but which can only take place through the performance of the Divinely given commandments.
There are seven laws, which are Biblically binding on all humanity. They include prohibitions on idolatry, blasphemy or the reviling of G-d, forbidden sexual relationships, theft, murder, lawlessness, for example the failure to establish courts with the ability to enforce justice, and cruelty to animals. These are known as the Seven Noahide Laws.
The reason for the name ‘Noahide’ is, that although the first six of these laws were originally commanded to the first person Adam, the seven laws were completed with Noah, to whom the seventh commandment was given.
Only after the Flood, was mankind permitted to slaughter meat for consumption. With this came the law prohibiting one to ‘eat the limb of a living animal’ and against treating them cruelly.
The seven laws of Noah form a base with many ramifications, from which many more Mitzvoth – commandments given by G-d Almighty to Moses on Mt. Sinai to transmit to all nations of the world – emerge.
The reader is encouraged to learn more, by asking questions and studying Torah, in particular the insights in the Jewish Chabad Chassidic philosophy, upon which many of the concepts discussed in this book are based. A great deal of material can be found on Chabad.org
Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the leader of the Chabad-Lubavitch worldwide Jewish movement stated, that the observance of Noahide Laws by all humankind will be a principle force in bringing about Universal Peace and the Messianic Redemption.
The Torah or Bible, the Rebbe explained, sees the basic nature of our world as perfect and good.
Our every good action is real and enduring, while every negative action is just that – an unreal negative phenomenon, a void waiting to be filled.
Hence, the common equation of evil with darkness and good with light.
Darkness, no matter how threatening and intimidating, is merely the absence of light.
Light need not combat and overpower darkness in order to displace it — where light is, darkness is not.
A single flame of light will therefore banish a roomful of darkness.
An interesting observation of this natural law / phenomenon, is seen throughout the whole theme of Noah’s ark and in the sign of the covenant, which is the rainbow for the children of Noah.
“Throughout the ages, Jewish scholars have viewed the Noahide Laws as universal norms of ethical conduct, as a basic concept in international law, or as a guarantee of fundamental human rights for all.” (“US Law 102-14 Noahide Laws,” 1991).
The tradition of the seven Noahide Laws is kept alive by the Noahides / The Bnei Noach, the Sons and Daughters of Noah, who believe that they are supposed to learn and follow these laws. The Noahides are not Messianic Jews, but rather, descendants of Noah. The Children of Noah, or the righteous Gentiles, also known as “pious among the nations” (hasidei umot ha’olam), are obligated to fulfill the seven Laws of Noah because they believe that they are the Will of G-d for all mankind, as expressed in His Torah, as transmitted through Moses, and through the ages in Orthodox Judaism.
Chapter 1 The Seven Universal Laws
Law 1: Belief in One G-d, And Not To Deny G-d (By Idolatry)
This commandment is based on the verse: “You shall have no other gods …” (Exodus. 20.3).
The statement to Adam in (Genesis 2:16) implies that only G-d should be worshipped, but not an idol.
The Rabbis of the Talmud derive this law from the fact that it was G-d, who first commanded Adam and Eve.
The Essence Of Idolatry
Idolatry occurs when one mistakenly believes that an object, which they worship and pray to, has G-d-like attributes.
Negative Consequence of Idolatry
The belief in G-d creates the belief in his positive moral ethical laws. To remove the belief in G-d is tantamount to plunging the world into chaos. This is the subconscious motive of atheism, as we see empirically.
As the Talmud states, we can empirically see the difference between good and evil as in the former is into morality and civility while the latter, into licentious and anarchy.
Also because G-d created the world, idolatry robs G-d of the appreciation and devotion due to Him.
Positive Results
Many people wonder why we need a belief in G-d?
Suffice it to say, that Germany before the Holocaust, was the most sophisticated nation. Not only in terms of art and science, but even humanities: the study of ethical behavior based on human assumption of morality.
Sadly then, as now, we see that unless we base our vision of a better future on a Divine eye that sees, a Divine ear that hears, we can easily be tempted by “false allures/gods (demigods.)”

Therefore at all times, in all places, we must behave with alacrity to fulfill G-d’s will, goodness and kindness, and G-d repays in kind.
Going Deeper – E-Pluribus-Unum
In essence before creation there is but One.
Only the Divine exists.
Why would G-d create a multiplicity of others: many plants, animals, and people?
The answer is that greater than one, is the synergy and synthesis of many.
As beautiful as a single instrument is, nothing compares to the richness of the harmony, unity, and melody from many.
For us to have true unity, we must have the one G-d, and for G-d to have unity, He needs us united as one.
Law 2: Respect G-d And Do not to Blaspheme/Curse G-d.
This law is based onLeviticus 24:10-17 which relates the incident of a Jew who violated the injunction of Exodus 22:27 and blasphemed in anger, and the Divine edict proclaimed this to be a capital offense.
This commandment means, literally, to “bless G-d,” which means to thank and praise Him.
Conversely, it also means, not to use his name in a curse, or to use it casually as if it has no value.
For example, when a person seeks to hurt someone, he or she may shout at the person or curse him.
Likewise, intentionally using G-d’s name when shouting or cursing, detracts from His exaltedness, and lessens the reverence and faith that are due him.
This is also the reason, we write G-d, as G-d, (without the O in between,) for His name is Holy, and treated with reverence.
In fact, Jewish people refrain from using G-d’s name (except in study or prayer) and call G-d, “Hashem” (“The Name.”)
Further, it is explicitly stated in Leviticus 24:16 that people shall not “…Utter the name of the L-RD blasphemously…” which includes, in any name used to refer to Him or in any language.
Benefits
The prohibition against blasphemy is valuable for everyone. It teaches respect as well as thankfulness to G-d.
One of the benefits of thanking G-d for any, and all of our blessings, is that it creates a relationship between our Creator and ourselves.
Through thanking and praying to G-d, as studies show, we develop a positive, optimistic outlook – preventing so many of the negative consequences of fear, anxiety, and worry.
Science now has numerous blind studies that prove that prayer helps heal the ill, and adds many other benefits.
Whenever we feel a need, lack, or desire, by turning to G-d for help, we humbly accept that there is a higher power.
Prayer is also an oasis of time, in which we momentarily suspend our enslavement to the norms of society, our fears and fantasies, and we forge a bridge and a bond between the infinite G-d and us finite humans.
By praying daily, this gives us the inspiration, fortitude, and courage to joyfully take on our varied tasks and challenges.
Law 3: Respect Human Life And Do Not Murder
The law against murder is stated in Genesis 9:6 “Whoever sheds the blood of man, among man, his blood shall be shed; for in the image of G-d, He made man.”
Benefits
This law encourages people to value life, as it forbids fighting wars of aggression, aborting a fetus when the mother’s life is not in danger, suicide, and euthanasia (assisted suicide).
Going Deeper
We must always bear in mind that we humans are not just biomass.
We are infinitely lovingly and carefully constructed by our Creator.

True, G-d merges a father’s sperm and a mother’s egg – splitting it billions of times until each one of us is meticulously crafted.
Yet, each and every person is far more than a body that breathes and even thinks – as G-d states in Genesis, “Man is created in the Divine image!”

We are inherently imbued with deep moral, ethical and compassionate drives.
Inherently our soul is actually part and parcel of G-d – like a candle’s flame from a bonfire.
It is for this reason we are actually spiritual beings – and therefore never feel comfortable only with materialism, as Maslow’s hierarchy proves.
The Jewish sages teach, “even if all the scientists were to work together, they couldn’t create the wing of a gnat, and imbue in it life.”
We should never forget, life, as science has proven, is intangible.
Life is the most mysterious force – like energy, we know it powers everything. Yet we cannot quantify, bestow or degrade it: as Einstein taught regarding energy.
In essence, life in the body is a gift – it is a miracle from G-d.
When we have this attitude, automatically we value all people. We do not see another human as a tool for our self-interest G-d forbid, but rather as a sacred cosmic being.
Valuing All Life
This extends to the fact we may not even take our own life. Ultimately, unlike the misconception that democracy gives you unfettered freedom – which often creates a mistaken assumption of zero accountability/responsibility: Democracy is only there to protect from governmental abuse and of course to establish a Govt. to uphold law and order.
We need to understand that G-d gives life, and therefore whether you’re happy or not, angry or depressed, your life is meant to be cared for and developed to the best of your abilities.

In other words, to kill oneself is also murder.
The mistaken idea of “Pro-choice,” is nothing less than saying, “if I want to kill someone else who can’t defend themselves, that’s o.k.”
In fact, the only reason any of us exists, is because our life, and right to be born was respected.
Honoring Our Parents
This also teaches us, that we must extend the greatest of respect to our mothers and fathers, as without their choice – none of us would actually be here today.
As our sages teach, “There are three partners in the creation of a human being, the father, mother, and G-d, who places the soul within.”
The Soul Is Eternal
We believe that the soul both predates and lives beyond the time spent within the body.
As G-d is holy, so is life.
Law 4: Respect the family And DoNot Engage in (Illicit) Sexual Relationships Such as Incest, Adultery, and Homosexuality
The Torah acknowledges that a good sexual relationship between a husband and wife strengthens their marriage and love.
It is accepted that a husband and wife should love each other, and that their love should be passionate.
The purpose of intimacy in a marriage is to perpetuate the human race and to create a close and permanent bond between the spouses, and it serves as the glue and foundation of a marriage.
It is a fundamental human need to experience love through physical closeness with a permanent mate, in a secure long-term relationship between man and woman.
G-d in His Torah (Bible) clearly forbids and defines as immoral; adultery, (namely the sexual act with someone who is in an existing marriage), committing homosexuality, incest, and bestiality.
Benefits
The world is made of countries, which are made of communities, which ideally consists of healthy family units. If we reverse this dynamic we realize, the healthier the family, the healthier the community, the healthier the nation, and therefore the healthier the world.
Additionally, children benefit from having two parents. Studies show they are more stable, more focused, and altogether far less prone to depression or drug abuse, and so on.
“G-d blessed Noah and his children. He said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.’” Genesis (9:1)
What is Marriage?
The Torah teaches us, that marriage is not merely a union between two totally independent individuals.
Marriage is the reunion between two halves of the same soul!
A couple share the same soul which, upon birth, divides itself into two incomplete halves.
Upon marriage, they reunite and become once again, complete.
What we are dealing with, is not only a union on the physical, emotional and/or intellectual level.
We are dealing with a union on the deepest, most essential level of self; The Soul.
Why Some Unions Are Forbidden?
There are souls that are compatible for marriage, and there are souls that are not.
The Bible teaches, that Jews and Gentiles have unique respective missions and hence unique commandments, and therefore should only marry one another. The Bible enumerates a list of invalid ‘marriages’; for example the ‘marriage’ between a biological brother and sister, or between a man with a woman who is already married to another man; in other words, incest or adultery.
The Bible is not only talking here about prohibitions, but facts.
In the aforementioned examples, there can never be any spiritual marriage, even though it might physically be possible to cohabitate and procreate for such individuals.
Law 5: Respect The Property Rights Of Others And Do Not Steal
The prohibition of theft is derived from Genesis (2:17) in which G-d forbade Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge.
However Adam and Eve disobeyed G-d, by stealing fruit from the Tree (Genesis 3:6).
Besides the obvious act of theft, this law also forbids any of the following; cheating a worker or employer out of money; overcharging for goods or services; shifting a landmark to add someone’s property to your own; refusing to pay money owed; kidnapping a person; using false advertising and misleading information.
Benefits
In order for us to feel safe, we need to respect the rights of others, as we wish them to respect ours.
A man once came to Rabbi Hillel, the foremost Jewish scholar of his age and requested the foundation of the Torah (Bible/Judaism.) He replied, “That which you want not another to do to you; do not do to them.”
Society can only be enjoyable when each person has the safety of knowledge, that their rights will not be forcibly violated, their property will not be stolen, and their minds not deceived.
Delving Deeper
Theft based on studies, is not due to poverty; Rather it is due to lack of moral education, namely, that everything comes from G-d.
Material wealth is abundant; there is more than enough food for the entire world. (the problem lies in immoral Governments. etc. that don’t distribute the aid received.)
By recognizing that your food and livelihood come from G-d, you feel safe, secure and willing to not compromise your ethical standards.
Furthermore, acknowledging G-d as the provider allows us to not be jealous of what others have, which is the reason behind wanting more.
As the sages teach, “One who is happy with what they have, is rich.”
Conversely many who are wealthy, live in anxiety and fear, lacking a sense of security and feeling safe.
Law 6: Respect Living Animals And Do Not Be Cruel To Animals
This law was given to Noah in Genesis (9:4.) “You may not eat flesh with its life, which is its blood.”
A human being must have decency, compassion and respect for all life.
Anything less, is not only to harm, hurt and maim, but to violate our own dignity.
It goes without saying, that if G-d wants us to not hurt and cause pain to an animal, how much more so does this apply to people.
Furthermore you must be sure to feed your animals even before you eat.
Compassion on animals, leads as well to compassion to people.
Delving Deeper
The Talmud states: Rabbi Yehuda HaNassi was a righteous person, however he suffered great pain. How did it begin? Through a deed of his. He was once walking through the marketplace when a calf being led to the slaughter, ran to him and hid under his cloak. He told the calf, “Go. For this why you were created.” That is when his suffering began.
And it ended through another deed. His cleaner was sweeping the floor and found the babies of a weasel nested beneath the boards. She began to sweep them away, when he stopped her. “It is written,” he said, “that His compassion is upon all of His works.” That is when his suffering ceased.
In other words, our joint Creator, the Creator of you, me, and every living creation, seeks that His creations – certainly, we humans – should have a sense of respect, aka sensitivity, towards everyone and everything.
A famous description of the subdivision of creation is into people, animals, plants and non-living.
It is the nature of all beings, to seek to elevate oneself.
People seek to elevate. Some seek to elevate to the Divine, and some mistakenly seek more “fame.”
Similarly plants, animals and even non-living beings seek to elevate.
When we eat or drink food etc. and then use their energy for good things, we cause their elevation.
In fact, Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov teaches that water will cry – and as demonstrated by Dr. Emoto,, water has sensitive emotions – beseeching G-d, that a person should take a drink of it and thank G-d and it then elevates. Another way it elevates is if we use the energy for a positive purpose.
Law 7: Respect The Rule of Law
This law requires that all societies set up courts to carry out justice and fairness within the society; maintaining human rights and morality, in accordance with the Seven Universal Laws of Noah.
When justice ceases to exist, civilization crumbles; when criminals are not punished, they gain power and take over society creating a reign of terror.
One should therefore do everything in their power to see that criminals are punished.
One should not benefit from any crime or criminal action.
For example, the first Jew Abraham, distinguished himself from those he lived amongst by demanding, “Will the Judge of all the earth, not do justice?”
Benefits
Harmony – when we feel there is a justice system and justice, we can trust one another – we can trade and commerce can occur, goods can be procured – we can feel safe and protected, and therefore establish loving relationships.
G-d is just, and likewise we must be.
Book 4

The Next Book that I am quoting from is “Toward A Meaningful Life, the Wisdom of the Rebbe” – Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn is by far the greatest scholar and proponent of the Divine values in human history, and His wisdom is hands down the most wise, succinct, and traditional, but in perfect modern English.

G-d
Absolute Reality
Chapter 1 How Do We Define G-d?
Wisdom
Defining G-d
G-d. The very word evokes the widest possible range of emotions.
Some people emphatically believe, others emphatically disbelieve, while others argue agnosticism.
People could debate one another about G-d for their entire lives and never come to a conclusion, because they all may define G-d differently.
Many who claim to reject G-d are actually rejecting a false definition of G-d, if they were presented with an accurate description there might be no argument.
Practice and Theory
When it comes to the word “G-d” we all have some preconceived image.
Some people may retain the image from nursery school of a man in heaven hurling down lighting bolts when we misbehave.
To a child, G-d may simply be someone who is even bigger and mightier than his or her father.
Perhaps this is an acceptable image for a young child, but for an adult to think of G-d in such simplistic, corporeal terms, is plainly insufficient.
Your own definition of G-d may be based on the opinions and attitudes of people whom you consider to be religious.
You might have a negative impression of G-d based on hypocrisy you experienced at home or at school. Or you might have warm feelings based on the loving ways of your family, friends or teachers.
Your feelings about G-d have also been affected by the books you have read, the classes you have heard and thousands of other influences.
Before attempting any discussion about G- d therefore, it is vital to peel away the layers of terminology and impression.
Wisdom
The first question is: Why is it even necessary to define G-d? Why can’t everyone have his or her own definition?
Because our attitude toward G-d is not a private affair.
It affects how we behave at home and in public, how we treat our family and our co-workers, and how we see our role in life.
A person who wishes to lead a meaningful life must ask himself: What is G-d? And why do I need G-d in my life?
How you answer these questions will define, more than anything else, who you are and how you live your life, for the question of G-d is at the root of all human behavior.
Practice and Theory
Any human definition of G-d though will be limited by the subjectivity of human comprehension and the boundaries of human knowledge.
After all, we have no model other than ourselves against which to measure.
So using ourselves as templates we try to extrapolate outwards to G-d.
But are we really in a position to be able to define G-d?
After all, are we seeking to define a G-d created in the image of man or a man created in the image of G-d?
Since G-d is the Creator we are created in His image.
Since G-d is a reality He must be defined in His terms, not ours; for He also created the laws of logic and reason.
Obviously, it is not sensible to assume that we the creatures can define our Creator.
No matter how sophisticated a machine may be, it cannot tell us about the engineer that created it or about the vision and hidden forces that inspired him to create.
Chapter 2 What is Reality?
Wisdom
Defining Reality
Let us examine the different approaches to defining reality.
We must first recognize that reality, like anything else is defined in part by the instruments we use.
Does reality consist only of what we experience on a sensory level, of what we can see or hear or taste or touch or smell?
This definition cannot be accurate, for it ignores our intellect and emotions.
Is reality therefore defined by our abilities to think and feel in addition to our sensory capabilities.
This to is insufficient, for it precludes the subconscious which cannot be entirely accessed either cognitively or emotionally?
We can never define total reality, for it encompasses far more than our limited human instruments can observe or experience.
Human beings are but a small piece of reality, one part of a much larger whole.
The part does not define the whole, rather the whole defines the part.
Why is that we have such a large vocabulary when it comes to discussing business or recreation or the weather, but when it comes to talking about our intimate selves, we struggle to express our feelings?
Shouldn’t it be easier to discus our innermost emotions than superficial external matters?
And yet, the more intimate the feeling, the fewer words we seem to find.
The reason for this paradox is that language is a limited instrument that cannot contain the intensity of deep intimate expression.
To communicate such intimacy, we use other languages – the languages of poetry and music and art, even the language of silence.
We can stand before a beautiful painting and feel its effect, but our verbal language may be inadequate to describe that effect.
Similarly, we have insufficient tools to define reality.
So how do we know it exists?
The same way we know that our intimate side exists even if we cannot touch or define it.
We may be unable to define love, for instance, but when you feel a loving embrace is there any doubt that the emotion is just as real as the embrace itself?
To see truth, to glimpse reality we must learn to look at our existence in a new way.
By the very limits of nature, ours is an “outside in” form of observation.
What our human instruments are able to observe and experience – sensorially, intellectually and emotionally – is only an indicator of what lies beneath the surface.
We begin by observing the physical phenomena around us, and then use our minds and feelings to strip away the outer layers, trying to comprehend the forces within, that make nature behave as it does.
If we were able to strip away all those layers, we would begin to have a glimpse at reality.
As it is, we perceive at best a few outer layers of reality, leaving the inner layers untouched.
Wisdom
If we cannot perceive reality, how can we have a real perception of G-d?
Because G-d wants humans to reach for Him, search for Him, and unite with Him.
So through the Bible, G-d chose to define Himself, to allow us to understand and know him, and then actualize His reality in our lives.
When G-d sent Moses to liberate the Jewish people from Egyptian bondage, Moses asked G-d to describe Himself so that Moses could prove G-d’s existence to the people.
G-d replied “I am who I am.”
By saying so, G-d was describing the essence of his reality – that is, He exists because He exists.
Human beings understand existence only as a process of cause and effect; we cannot comprehend or even imagine an existence that is undefined. That has no cause, that is totally unlike our own.
Our concept of existence is based on empirical perception, something exists only after we prove that it exists.
On the hand, G-d has no cause other than Himself, nothing preceded Him, His being derives from his own self.
G-d’s existence must exist, for it is true reality.
So G-d is an existence that is unlike any existence, “a non existential existence.” It is real because it is real, a reality that exits because it exists, “I am who I am.”
Therefore we cannot define G-d.
If a person were to use the human mind to prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that G-d exists it would not be G-d that he discovered, it would only be a product of the human mind.
To truly know G-d’s “nature” we would have to be like G-d.
To begin to understand G-d then, we must learn to go beyond our own mind, our own ego, our own tools of perception.
Only then will G-d emerge.
To look for G-d with our eyes, with our intellect, with our logic, would be like trying to capture the sun’s light in our hand.
G-d is undefinable.
The fact is, then, that we cannot find G-d.
We must allow G-d to find us by removing the obstacles in our lives that prevent Him from entering – self–centeredness, dishonesty ignorance or even our very fear of acknowledging something separate and greater than ourselves.
Wisdom
By understanding G-d as the essence of absolute reality, we come to the awesome realization “There is nothing else besides Him.”
Or even more simply “there is nothing else.”
From the perspective of an absolute reality, there is truly nothing else.
This is the cardinal rule of existence: if you place an object a 100 cubit feet inside a space of a 100 cubit feet, no other object can share that space.
Likewise, if you have an object of infinite size, no other object can possibly occupy any space at any time.
This is the case with G-d.
The absolute reality of G-d while it extends beyond the conceptual borders of “existence” also fills the entire expanse of existence as we know it.
Which leaves no space possible for any other existence or realities we may identify – the objects in our physical universe, or the metaphysical truths we contemplate, or our very selves.
Should we conclude then that none of these things exist?
No, for G-d has told us that they do.
But they do not exist in their own reality; they exist only as an extension of Divine energy, a created part of an absolute G-dly reality, a far different reality that our mind alone can perceive and all our instruments can experience.

To understand and enter this absolute reality, we must learn to suspend our rigid human perception and allow ourselves to develop new ways to see think and believe.
And in order to do so we must first stand in awe of G-d.
Chapter 3 Why Do We Exist?
Wisdom
Why We Exist
Once we recognize G-d as the absolute reality, we must question human existence.
We know that we exist (because G-d told us so) but we also know that there is nothing to say we must exist.
G-d’s universe would hardly cease to be if any one of us had not been born.
Indeed, G-d’s absolute reality would not be affected in any way if our entire existence had never occurred.
Our creation, therefore, is G-d way of choosing each of us to exist.
None of us is here by accident, we are here because G-d wants us to exists. But why?
G-d creates the universe and life as we know it to fulfill His vision as a Divine architect “G-d desired to have a home in the lowest world.”
He created the earth, the resources that rest within it and the human beings who dwell upon it.
It is our duty to tap those resources in order to refine and perfect the material world and make it a home for G-d.
This is the purpose of human life.
In order for us to achieve this purpose, G-d created this “lowest” world, our world.
It is a world in which G-d’s reality is initially obscured, where we see human reality as primary.
Why did G-d choose to obscure his “authorship?”
Because in order for man to truly exist, to make choices in life, we are allowed to experience ourselves as an independent reality.
If we had no independence, our existence would be meaningless, we would be like mere puppets on a string.
Instead, G-d created an “agnostic” world, where his reality is not visible.
He obscured His presence for us so effectively, that we actually perceive ourselves as the only reality.
We may understand that G-d is reality, but we experience G-d’s existence as something outside ourselves, as a superimposed reality, whereas in truth, it is G-d who is real while our existence is on “the outside.”
Wisdom
Is our existence Necessary?
There are layers and layers of comprehension dividing our sensory reality from the absolute reality of G-dly energy.
Is this a game that G-d is playing, hiding himself from human eyes?
On the contrary, it is a gift, an opportunity for us to grow accustomed to the landscape.
Before a child can write, he or she must first learn the alphabet.
And before we can understand the brilliant light of G-d’s reality we must first let our eyes grow accustomed to the light that surrounds us.
Then we can use our light to peer inside the many layers of a deeper reality.
But if our entire existence is based on the principle that G-d is obscuring his presence, how do we know that we actually exist in His eyes?
How do we know that we are actually accomplishing anything by perfecting our material world?
In the Bible, G-d tells us that he wants us to Know Him, but how can we know a G-d that is totally beyond us. And does G-d really care about what we do?
The answer to these questions lies in understanding the mysterious and complex processes by which G-d created human existence.
G-d, who is Himself undefinable and indescribable chose to create man and place him in a physical world that is both definable and describable.
He also chose to manifest Himself in this world through the laws of logic that he created, through the awesome design of nature and of each human being, and through Divine Providence.
We are allowed to experience these Divine attributes so that we can begin to comprehend G-d and have a personal relationship with Him.
Then we learn to abstract Him, ultimately realizing that G-d is even beyond anything that we can abstract.
Yes we do actually exist from G-d’s perspective, and G-d does care about what we do – not because we need to exist or because G-d needs to care, but because He chooses it to be that way.
So his care for us is absolute, non-arbitrary and non-compromising.
Wisdom
The fact that G-d obscured his presence from us so that we feel that we are an existence unto ourselves does not mean that we do not exist from G-d’s perspective.
G-d’s concealing His presence is not an absence of light, rather it is like a container that hides from our eyes that which is within the container.
And what is inside the container is G-d’s pure light and energy.
On our own though, we do not exist for “there is nothing else besides Him.”
But “with Him” we exist.
What is not real is our perception that our existence is all there is.
It is not within the scope of human intellect to comprehend how G-d can conceal His presence while allowing us to carry out an independent existence.
But this mystery does not limit our relationship to G-d, it actually enhances it, further demonstrating how far removed G-d is from our existence, thus inducing our greater reverence of Him and our longing to draw closer to Him and integrate His reality into our lives.
Practice and Theory
Uniting With G-d
In order to unite with G-d we must combine both perspectives, G-d’s and ours.
We must firstly begin with using our minds and hearts to discover and understand G-d as much as we are capable of; then we must accept that the human mind is not everything, that some things simply cannot be understood with our limited perceptions.
This acknowledgment allows us to better relate to the very mystery of G-d’s existence.
We recognize the paradox that G-d is beyond reality as we know it, while at the same time encompassing reality.
That G-d is able to create the finite and the infinite, the physical and the transcendent – because He is completely beyond both; He is neither defined nor undefined.
By contemplating this mystery we raise ourselves to an entirely new plane; above all we come to relate to G-d on his terms.
Since G-d wants us to unite with him, He created an elaborate and elegant process by which we can do so.
We begin by probing and asking questions, then emotionally grappling with our existential pain through our search for meaning.
We slowly scale the vast mountain of reality, step by step answering some questions and discovering new ones continually finding deeper answers until we finally begin relating to and uniting with G-d.
We come to realize that we cannot define G-d; we accept that He is beyond all definition, including the term “beyond all definition.”
This is the ultimate unity: In a world of definitions and paradoxes, we recognize G-d who is beyond all definitions and paradoxes.
Practice and Theory
From “outside-in” to “inside-out.”
Everything in this universe consists of two dimensions, an outer dimension and an inner dimension.
Over time, we come to understand this dichotomy within ourselves.
We recognize that although the physical is the more visible outer dimension, it is our inner dimension – our emotions, our desires and aspirations, our souls – that is far more important.
We must train ourselves to look at the universe in the same way.
It is a matter of changing our perspective from “outside-in” to “inside-out.”
Instead of looking first at the outer layer then traveling inward we must learn to see the inner layer as our primary force.
And we must cultivate the experience of this layer to the point where we can use it to inform the outer layers.
Wisdom
At first it may seem impossible to get to know a G-d who is so different from us.
But G-d gave us the ability to talk about him, and told us that we must do so.
We can find G-d within ourselves, and we can find that G-d is well beyond us.
It is our duty, and our greatest challenge, to recognize the differences between human reality and G-dly reality, and to accept the opportunities he has provided to transport ourselves from one realm to the next.
Chapter 4 How Do We connect With G-d?
Practice and Theory
Connecting to G-d
To find G-d we must slowly acclimate ourselves to spiritual growth.
We must rise step by step until we can begin to see the universe from a spiritual perspective and ultimately from G-d’s perspective.
This journey completes the circle of our cosmic mission – starting in G-d and ending in G-d thus fulfilling the vision of our Creator.
Practice and Theory
Two steps to uniting with G-d
The first step in this process is simply acknowledging a reality that is far greater than ourselves, and acknowledging that our reality is not real on its own, it is but an extension of Divine energy.
The second step in this process is to make this world a comfortable dwelling place for G-d.
Ultimately we unite both realities ours and God’s.
Practice and Theory
Uniting G-d Within Your Reality
We accomplish this unity by living a material life in service of a spiritual goal – by actualizing our soul, our inner layer – to direct our bodies, our outer layer, toward a higher purpose.
A person may spend 90 percent of his life eating, sleeping, earning a living, recreating, and otherwise tending to his material needs.
But if all of this is done in order to devote his remaining 10 percent to prayer, study, charity, and other G-dly endeavors, then he or she is actively transforming the very nature of our physical reality.
By opening our mind to a new possibility – that our human reality is really but a small part of an all encompassing reality – we are able to move beyond the boundaries of human existence.
We begin to learn to think like G-d Himself.
We learn to embrace faith and reason, independence and unity.
Once we have risen above the limits of human thought, we can incorporate this higher knowledge in our physical lives – in our logic, our emotions, and most importantly in our conduct.
As the sages instruct us, “As G-d is merciful, you to are too be merciful. As G-d is companionate, you too are to be compassionate.”
Such G-dly conduct creates a unity between man and G-d, which is the goal that we were put on earth to achieve.
Your very perspective of the world begins to change, you begin to glimpse the “light” within the “container.”
You recognize G-d in everything around you.
When you eat, you understand that you are nourishing yourself for constructive and G-dly purposes.
You realize that every object has a Divine purpose greater than the mere fulfillment of your own needs.
Your table is meant for study, your living room for meaningful conversations.
Your job is no longer just a means to earn a living but an opportunity to behave more morally and ethically, and to introduce G-d into our world.
A doctor recognizes the Divine wonder within the human body and an engineer sees in his work a reflection of Divine design and unity.
And finally, you learn to be sensitive to Divine Providence.
You recognize that everything from the fluttering of a leaf in the wind to the movement of the galaxies is driven by G-d’s hand.
Instead of looking at life from the outside in, you learn to look from the inside out.
The next time you take a business trip or a vacation, do not be preoccupied with the trivial or external aspects of the people you meet, of the things you see.
Instead, examine your life at a new level of reality, and ask yourself: Why has G-d brought me here?
What deeper lesson am I to learn from this encounter?
As you search for the meaning in everything that happens in your life, you will find your life itself becomes more meaningful.
Your daily interaction, no matter how trivial, will take on a new significance.
As you begin to peel away the many layers that obscure G-dly intellect, your own intellect and sensory perception grow stronger.
The real world begins to emerge, no longer shrouded in confusion and darkness, but bathed in the light of a higher knowledge.
At that point, we achieve an unprecedented feat: while maintaining our existence, we recognize ourselves as a manifestation of G-dliness.
In addition, we introduce a new energy into this “lower world;” we help reveal G-d’s essence in a universe that originally saw itself as independent and opposed to G-d.
We recognize that our world, which feels that is has no cause, could have been brought into existence only by a Divine architect, an unknowable nor definable G-d who has no preceding cause.
To accomplish all this, the Divine architect provided a blueprint, a road map that illuminates the world’s many winding dark paths.
This road map is the Bible which provides mankind with the directions to lead a meaningful and productive life.
It gives us the insight to see beyond the outer layers of our physical universe and behold the G-dliness within.
It shows us the good deeds each person must perform, the means by which we define our lives and our environment.
Every human being has a small corner of the material universe that is to be refined and prepared as a home for G-d, whether he or she is a doctor or a scientist, a clerk or a truck driver, a parent or a teacher.
And when the entire universe comes to behave in accordance with intentions of its Creator, we enter into the Messianic Age – the time of redemption and the revelation of G-dliness throughout the universe.
By suspending out egocentric drives and reaching for G-d, we don’t become less, we become more.
Since we and all our material pursuits are transient by nature, so too are all of our material rewards and goals.
When we connect our lives to a reality that is real and eternal, our every activity and accomplishment becomes more real and eternal.
Practice and Theory
You are a Special Agent
G-d chose each of us to fulfill a unique mission on this world and endowed us with unique abilities and characteristics to accomplish it.
Practice and Theory
From Meaningless To Meaningful
Paradoxically your life becomes meaningful only when you discover how meaningless it is on its own, in relation to G-d’s existence.
But ultimately once you achieve G-d’s perspective, you see that your life could not possibly be more meaningful.
Practice and Theory
Overcoming our subconscious hesitation in admitting G-d’s all encompassing reality
It is interesting to note that many people tend to question G-d’s existence with far greater rigor than they question many other aspects of their lives.
Think about how often you rely on the expertise of others to determine your life decisions.
We accept the judgment of doctors and scientists.
We accept the advice of people who tell us how to eat and sleep, how to play and work, what to wear and how to behave.
How often do you ask to examine the research that went into the doctor’s prognosis, or ask to inspect the kitchen of a restaurant where you are eating?
When it comes to G-d, though, we are far more skeptical.
Why do we suddenly become so rigorously logical?
Is it that we fear the enormous responsibility we are accepting once we embark on our Divine mission to lead a meaningful and productive life.
Practice and Theory
Transforming a Dream Into Reality
People today are increasingly talking about G-d, about the need to return to a pursuit of higher values and greater awareness of our spiritual mission on earth.
All this talk is well intentioned, now is the time to do something about it.
Allow G-d into your life.
It doesn’t take much.
G-d asks each of us only for a slight opening through which he will provide the widest entrance to an absolute reality.
Devote just one small corner of your life to G-d, but use that corner for no other purpose.
Practice and Theory
Lifting the curtain and letting G-d’s reality be the true reality
We are the generation that will complete the process of bringing to consciousness G-d’s presence in the world.
Let us finally raise the curtain that has shrouded G-d’s presence for so long.
We are tired of the masquerade.
We have been waiting and G-d has been waiting.
Let us not make Him wait any longer.
Faith and Reason
To Touch the Divine
Wisdom
Faith and Reason

Chapter 1 What is faith?

Human beings have many faculties at their disposal.

We have a brain to process information, emotions that move us, and intuition that guides us.

We have our sensory tools of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch.

So where does faith fit in?

Many people don’t see faith as a basic human faculty; they see it more as the absence of reason.

Others are even more cynical, claiming that faith is a sign of weakness, something to resort to when all else fails.

In earlier times the thinking goes faith was a necessity because man didn’t have the science to help explain the laws of nature; but in the face of reason and all of man’s brilliant accomplishments, we have outgrown our need for faith.

Isn’t faith just a creation of our imagination meant to deal with issues that we can’t comprehend?

And yet we see that people inherently believe in something greater than themselves.

This feeling is inside all of us; we only need to know how to access it.

We certainly know how to access reason, for we have spent our entire lives cultivating this faculty – in school, at work, and elsewhere.

But how do we cultivate faith? Isn’t it something you either have or you don’t?

We are all born with faith.

It is neither acquired nor taught; it is our most natural state.

A young child for instance just has natural faith. Tell him a fantastic tale and even though he senses it isn’t “real,” he believes you.

Not that faith is to be confused with childish naïveté, or gullibility, or laziness.

Nor is faith the absence of reason.

Faith is a powerful, positive force in our lives, no less integral to the human soul than the faculty to think or the faculty to feel.

Faith is a faculty that recognizes truths that are infinitely incomprehensibly greater than ourselves and accepts them as real and relevant.

So why do so many people claim to have no faith?

And why do we think that faith and reason contradict each other?

Because we misunderstand their roles.

Look again at the child. As he grows older he accepts less and less at face value.

Does this mean he is losing faith?

No, only that his faith is being obscured by reason.

Not only that, but as he grows older, he realizes that his faith has been continually abused.

After years of experiencing hypocrisy and being lied to he learns to distrust his own inner belief.

To protect himself, he begins using his reason alone to process ideas and establish his value system.

In effect, he can silence the inner voice telling him that, even though something cannot be grasped with his hand or totally understood with his mind, it may indeed exist.

We must learn to cultivate our natural faith.

We cannot allow our reason to drown out the inner voice that tells us what we know to be true with every fiber of our being.

A healthy mind recognizes its innate limitations, acknowledging that there are many experiences outside the narrow scope of our own logic.

After all, we learn to incorporate many beliefs into our lives, even if they might initially seem absurd – like black holes in space or the oddities of subatomic particles.

While these premises may not be fully understood, we accept them because they help explain different phenomena in our physical world that are otherwise incomprehensible.

But why are we willing to believe in something beyond the means of our knowledge, yet, when it comes to believing in G-d – and trusting our innate faith – we demand ironclad proof? Why do we have a double standard?

Perhaps the consequences of accepting G-d, and the personal responsibility it demands of us, are so challenging that we would rather find a way to justify our position by questioning or rejecting G-d.

We must overcome the desire to believe in G-d according to reason alone.

Each of us has an interior “judge of truth,” an ultimate arbiter that weighs all the information fed to us by our intellect and senses.

Sometimes it tells us that our logic should overcome or overrule a misguided feeling.

And sometimes it tells us that our rational or skeptical mind should yield to a truth that our faith has embraced.

Our reason, if it is well developed, comes to the obvious conclusion that reality is far greater than that which we can experience with our senses and our intellect.

We come to realize that his reality is not a product of the mind, but the mind is a product of reality.

Reason may lead us to the door of this reality, but we need different tools to enter.

But all of this is still not faith, for faith is the pure experience of G-d.

Reason may allow us to function in this world and make sense of our lives, but without faith, we would have no basis for life.

We could not connect to G-d, the absolute reality, and life would be a random series of logical and illogical events.

We would flounder in our search for meaning and find no solace in a turbulent fragmented world.

Faith is a power that touches you and you alone.

It is the humble truth that is as plain as it real, as quiet as it is forceful.

G-d’s reality emits wondrous music for us to hear, but the hustle and bustle of the material world often drown out the song.

Faith is the tool with which we can hear the music.

Reason may tell us how to live, but faith tells us why to live.

To lead a meaningful life, we must unite our faith and reason.
Chapter 2 How Do We Unite Faith and Reason?

Practice and Theory
Faith and reason are the two faculties we use to experience G-d.

It is through faith that we experience the essence of G-d. Through reason we experience the expression of G-d.

Faith is going beyond our wisdom, our experiences, our accomplishments, and allowing a higher presence into our lives.

No matter how intelligent a person may be, no matter how much he can appreciate the grandeur of the universe and the elegance of the laws that govern it, no matter how sublime are his spiritual ideas and experiences, these thoughts only distract him from experiencing the pure essence of G-d.

All of the world’s grandeur and elegance may be expressions of G-d, but they are not G-d himself.

As creatures of G-d we have no language to define his essence or relate to him on a rational level; the only way we can relate to the essence of G-d is through pure undiluted faith.

And we each have this faith within us; it is the foundation upon which our reason and other faculties are built.

King David begins one of his psalms with the words “a prayer of a pauper.”

Why does he attribute prayer to a pauper rather than a person of wealth and sophistication?

The following story illustrates the point:
Two people were invited to see the King. One was a wealthy, educated man, the other an illiterate peasant.

The rich man arrived first.
He entered the palace and walked through a room filled with a collection of literature music and art.
Aware of the great value of many of these items, he became so immersed in them that he missed his appointment with the King.

Later, the peasant arrived.
Because he didn’t appreciate all the books, and paintings, he walked right through the room, straight into the king’s chamber and spent his entire time visiting with the king.

This is not to say that we can function fully on faith alone; it must be fused with reason and integrated into our lives.

Once we experience faith, reason becomes a tool to help us express the essence of G-d, to imbue our hearts, our minds, and our daily conduct with a pure G-dly faith.

The expression of faith is in the physical deed, not just in the mind.

The purest thoughts and feelings do not – indeed, cannot – make you perform a good deed.

You may understand that a certain choice is right or wrong but feel unable to act; in fact, our hearts and minds tell us to do far more than we ever act upon.

Faith is what helps convert a good intention into action.

Practice and Theory

The simple good deed has no ornaments.

It is not flashy or complicated or bold.

But has the power of the essence.

Absolute faith – as expressed in the simple deed – establishes a relationship between man and G-d.

Without faith, our other faculties are simply tools without vision or direction; with faith, they become means with which we carry out our Divine mission.

And yet faith cannot be compartmentalized.

You may try to believe in G-d but relegate him to certain parts of your life or certain times within your day.

This makes your faith incomplete.
After all, if G-d is the Creator of everything that exists, how can your faith be complete when it doesn’t affect everything in your life?

By using reason you can make faith a constant part of your life; all your thoughts, words, and actions will express your faith, and you will come to see G-dliness and Divine Providence in all that you do.

You will come to “Know G-d in everything.”

Faith in G-d is not passive; it does not mean sitting back and accepting events as they happen.

When we see danger, faith dictates that we protect ourselves.

When we experience pain faith demands that we cry out and seek relief.

When we see need, faith insists not only that we pray to G-d but that we address the need.

Faith means relying on G-d and at the same time knowing that G-d created the laws of nature and gave us the capacity to work within those laws to help us achieve what we are praying for.

Surely, a faithful person knows that no matter how much effort he invests, all his blessings originate from G-d.

But each one of us must create the “vessel” to contain these blessings.

It may rain for ten days in a row, but if a farmer has not plowed and planted his fields, not a single strand of wheat will grow.

On the other hand, without G-d’s blessings there is nothing the farmer can do to coax wheat from the earth.

True faith constitutes not only a belief in G-d but a trust that G-d always does what is good and right.

True faith does not waiver, even if things do not work out as we would have liked.

Yes, we may have doubts.

Yes, we may feel saddened by the neediness and suffering in the world.

Yes, we may want to confront G-d for allowing travesties.

But abandoning your faith in G-d means that you are compromising yourself.

When we witness suffering at the hands of other people, we should direct our anger where it belongs – at man.

If anything, war and genocide teach us that our faith in man can be misplaced, but never our faith in G-d.

True faith is not the blind faith of ignorance.

Rather the uncompromising belief in the absolute truth.

It is a direct connection to G-d’s essence and is therefore neither arbitrary nor conditional.

This is what distinguishes true faith from the immature emotion that sometimes calls itself “faith,” which dictates that our belief in G-d is dependent on G-d doing things the way we want.

We know that G-d believes in us, faith is our calling to believe in him.

Chapter 3 How Do We Reconcile Faith and Reason?

Practice and Theory
Uniting Faith and Reason

Although some people continue to see faith and reason as adversaries, the truth is that reason leads to faith and faith leads to reason.

Using reason, we can contemplate the wonders of G-d’s creation and begin to recognize the breadth of His Infinite powers.

But reason also leads us to understand the limit of human knowledge and how much is beyond our scope.

As the sages write, “The ultimate knowledge is knowing that you can’t know G-d.”

Such a realization, such a declaration of trust and humility, brings one to the threshold of true faith, for faith is the tool we use to reach the truth that is beyond what we already know.

So it is reason, ultimately, that helps lead us to faith.

And faith leads to reason, because faith in G-d impels us to use our reason, every ounce of the intellect and logic G-d gave us, to internalize and integrate our faith.

G-d expressly told us that He wants us to Know him – to perceive him with our mind and its finite tools of logic, to embark on a lifelong quest in which we expand the scope of our reason, learning both to fulfill its power and to recognize its limitations.

So faith and reason are a powerful dynamic.

We recognize that faith is no mere crutch for the ignorant; it can take us to a place that even the most accomplished mind cannot approach.

To be sure, there are two types of faith – the blind, immature faith of a child, who must be guided by others, and the mature faith of someone who has traveled far with his or her mind and heart, finally reaching a threshold that can be only crossed with a leap of faith.

Chapter 4 How can we have faith in our generation?

Practice and Theory
Cultivating Faith

At the end of the day, only you know how sincerely you are searching for the truth.

You have only yourself – and G-d – to answer to.

If you are genuinely searching, then you have already begun your relationship with G-d.

As with all dynamic relationships, this search is a process.

We begin from the limited perspective of our own existence, climbing upward step by step until we come to understand that G-d is the absolute reality of which we are an extension – and not vice versa.

For some, the first step might be to discover whether you are indeed ready to listen and grow, whether you are willing to accept the responsibility of faith.

The next step is dealing with your doubts concerning G-d’s existence.

You must attempt to unite your faith and reason, for only your reason can truly recognize the limitations of the mind and its role in the process of searching for G-d.

Then we must allow our inner, sublime tools to speak.

We know there is a G-d just as we know that we have a soul – not because we can see or touch it, but because we can feel it.

Similarly we feel elevated when we have G-d in our lives. We feel purpose and direction; we feel there is meaning in everything we do.

This entire process needs fuel – knowledge about G-d and ourselves.

We must study the Bible, G-d’s blueprint for creation.

We must learn to actualize our faith through charity and good deeds.

Through our virtue and generosity we strengthen the connection between our material reality and the absolute reality that is G-d.

Above all, we must look anew at the tools we are using to try to reveal sanctity in our lives.

We simply cannot limit ourselves to conventional sensory means to relate to something that is supersensory.

Practice and Theory

Searching for G-d in these times can appear to be especially difficult, for many people today are unfamiliar with faith – what it is and how to cultivate it.

Born into a time when material priorities have displaced the spiritual, many know little about G-d and what G-d wants of us.

People have free time on their hands and often don’t know how to fill it meaningfully.

It seems very difficult to find where to turn for direction, since everybody – from parents to educators to politicians – appear to be equally uniformed.

And yet people everywhere continue to search for meaning, searching for G-d.

This is a tribute to the deepest faith of all.

We must recognize that there are two kinds of darkness.

One is when we realize it is dark, and yearn to see; the other when the darkness has been so intense and so long-lived that we have resigned ourselves to it.

The first step in escaping the darkness is acknowledging it; only then can you begin to reach out for the light.

In this climate of spiritual darkness, we have all the ability and responsibility to let our faith shine forth and then integrate it into our daily lives.

Talk about your faith with family and friends.

Cultivate it through study and prayer.

Actualize it through good deeds.

For a moment, stop what you are doing. Let your mind be still, and allow yourself to hear the small still voice of G-d.

When you set yourself free, you will realize that your faith is much closer to the surface than you had imagined.

Remember: Regardless of anything else, G-d’s absolute reality exists.

The only question is, how you will respond, how true to yourself you will be in searching for it.

G-d is waiting for you.
Good and Evil
Light and Shadows

Chapter 1 Do Good and Evil Really Exist?

Practice and Theory
Right and Wrong

In the history of the world, many battles have been fought, but perhaps the greatest battle of all is the one between good and evil.

Between decency and depravity, between selflessness and selfishness, between peace and violence.

We are all confronted with this battle, and we strive to be the best we can.

We try to dedicate our lives to good works and we place great value on acts of charity and philanthropy.

Above all, we teach our children to be virtuous and morally sound.

But where do our ethical standards come from?

What is right and what is wrong?

What is good and what is evil?

We live in a time when there seems to be no easy answer to these questions.

Behavior that might be considered unacceptable to one group may be fine with another.

Yesterdays taboos can become today’s everyday activities.

There seems to be no universally accepted model of right and wrong, schools that were once a source of objective values have often become ideological battlegrounds where values are neutralized so as not to discriminate against the feelings of any individual or group.

What we are often left with is a diluted form of moral relativism: Anything is acceptable as long as it doesn’t overtly hurt someone else.

But is this standard high enough?

In the name of “live and let live” have we compromised our most basic sense of right and wrong?

Ask yourself this simple question: Does such moral ambiguity ring true in your heart and soul?

This leads to an even broader question, which some people may have grown to timid to pose: Is there a real and absolute wrong and right?
If not why do human beings feel naturally positive about certain things and repulsed by others?

Even young children share this trait, an inner sense of right and wrong that is as strong as the sense of sight or hearing.

To lead a truthful and meaningful life, we must define good and evil and we must have an absolute value system that guides our conduct.

Otherwise our standards will remain arbitrary.

We may even wonder why we should bother to dedicate our lives to the pursuit of goodness.

When we teach our children right from wrong, we must be able to tell them – and ourselves – why such a distinction is necessary and absolute.

In the Bible, G-d provided mankind with a set of absolute laws an instructions, which define right and wrong, and good and evil.

Practice and Theory
Right and wrong effects you

From G-d’s perspective, good and evil are forces that are respectively constructive and destructive.

Just as healthy food nourishes the body and poison harms it, goodness is essential to the soul’s health and evil hurts it.

Practice and Theory

Goodness therefore is not just a moral obligation; its essential nourishment for your body and soul.

Similarly, hurting another person is unacceptable not only because you have no right to do so, but because you are also damaging yourself.

Practice and Theory
By committing good acts, you are further connecting yourself to G-d, thereby energizing your own soul, whereas a wicked act meanwhile disconnects you from G-d and weakens your soul.

Practice and Theory
How ego is the source of wars, jealousy and hatred

Virtuous behavior is an affair not just between men, but between man and G-d.

War breaks out in the heart of man when the human soul becomes disconnected from God, the source of goodness.

Why can men hate and destroy each other?

Because their egos can wish to and hence their mind’s dominated by their egos deny that all humanity comes from the same source, and should therefore be striving toward the same goal.

Doing good means rising above your own needs, connecting with G-d and extending this unity to your fellow man.

Chapter 2 Why Do Good And Evil Exist?

Practice and Theory
Freedom of Choice

We all struggle to fathom how a good and righteous G-d could allow so much suffering and could permit such atrocities in the world.

The age old question inevitably arises: Why did G-d create evil, and how can we reconcile it with his goodness?

To answer this, we must take one step back and ask a far more basic question: Why did G-d create life? For without life there would be no evil and no pain.

G-d created our material world because He wanted us to refine it and make it His home.

In order to achieve this, we must first perceive ourselves as an independent reality.

So each of us was granted free will, the ability to choose between selflessness and selfishness, and between good and evil; to follow G-d’s instructions or to not.

This freedom is the greatest gift G-d gave us.

Without it there would be no point to life.

Practice and Theory

G-d does not want evil; He wants us to do only good, nor does G-d ever commit evil, only man commits evil.

But in order for man to be a true partner in life, he must have the autonomy to choose.

Even though, G-d cannot bear the pain when one man causes another to suffer, it would be even more painful to take back the free will he has given us.

Practice and Theory

We have the potential to do either good or evil.

And by overcoming the temptation to do evil, the temptation to advance ourselves at any cost, we reach a far higher plane that we otherwise could have.

The greater the challenge, the more strength it draws out of us.

And just as light in the night seems brighter and is more appreciated than the same light by day, an act of kindness shines with all the more intensity when compared to the wrongdoing we could have committed instead.

There is a certain risk in G-d’s having granted us such a choice, but risk is inherent in growth.

For a child to learn to walk he or she must be allowed to fall.

Practice and Theory
The container hiding the light

This explains why there is a potential for evil, but how can it exist in the face of a good and omnipresent G-d?

This takes us back to the method that G-d used to create our physical reality.

In order to allow us our independence, G-d concealed His presence, charging us to see beyond the “container,” the physical world in which we live to find the G-dly “light” within.

G-d’s concealment in our material world allows us the free will either to seek Him out or to ignore Him.

If G-d’s presence were obvious to us, we would have neither the inclination nor the opportunity to do evil.

But then we wouldn’t have the challenge – or the awesome satisfaction – of doing good either.

Evil in other words is the challenge of life gone awry.

When we become oblivious to the challenge or ignore it, like the child who stops searching for his hiding, we allow G-d’s concealment to leave room – after many layers of condensation and mutation – for potential evil.

When we see only the “container” and not the “light” within, when we selfishly pursue only our material interests and ignore our spirituality, this self-interest can allow evil to flourish.

Practice and Theory
How to beat Evil

One cannot say that G-d chooses evil or sustains it.

Wickedness is committed against G-d’s will, for his intention is not to remain concealed but to be revealed, and it pains him when we cease looking for Him.

Since evil is against G-d’s will, it has no legitimacy of its own; it is only as a result of our being deceived by G-d’s concealment and not seeing it as a means to G-d’s revelation.

Consider that evil is darkness while goodness is light: Just as darkness is merely the absence of light, evil is merely the absence of goodness.

And just as darkness can be dispelled by introducing even a small amount of light, evil can be dispelled by introducing even a small amount of goodness.

Wisdom
Destroying Evil

When we are deceived by G-d’s concealed state and succumb to it by committing evil, we are giving substance to that which is really like a shadow, with no substance of its own.

Thus by refraining from evil conduct we are actively negating evil, destroying its illusionary power and thereby revealing its true purpose.

As the sages say of evil, “its destruction is its repair.”

Practice and Theory
Repenting

A person must do everything in his power to avoid committing a sin, it is not permissible to sin with the intention of repenting later.

But if he does succumb to temptation, he always has within him the power to repent, to release the positive sparks from within the darkness of the sin, while destroying the evil of the sin itself.

The person who commits evil and repents may actually gain a greater appreciation for G-d, for the intense light of goodness is all the greater when we see it in close contrast to the sheer darkness of evil.
Chapter 3 How Do We Handle The Pain That Evil Causes?

Practice and Theory
The Paradox

We have all seen the consequences of evil.

We may come to understand that such suffering strengthens a human being, that there is no greater satisfaction than overcoming adversity, but such revelations do not satisfy the suffering heart.

Inevitably, we ask: Why must it be this way?

Abraham cried out to G-d, “Shall the whole world’s judge not act justly?” and his cry has reverberated through a hundred generations of tear soaked history.

All the explanations in the world cannot address the pain of suffering.

Even the most logical reason is, at best, only theoretical; the heart will never reconcile itself to pain.

On the other hand, faith in G-d is not dependent on answers to philosophical queries; no amount of intellectual prodding can dent the person of faith, because faith is built on an inner sense of what is true and real, which is far stronger than logic alone and far beyond the pain of evil.

The paradox of faith, dictates, that we both challenge G-d and accept what he does, for we recognize that G-d’s reality is far beyond our own and that ultimately we cannot understand his mysterious ways.

This paradox has been plaguing the thinking believer, since the beginning of time.

While the mind struggles to rationalize, the heart learns to love.

While the mind struggles to categorize a series of conflicting events, the heart tolerates contradictions.

Outrage and devotion, judgment and acceptance, pain and pleasure – a heart that loves has room for them all.

So yes, we question and challenge G-d.

And yes, we pray and demand that he do away with evil and suffering.

And yet we realize that only G-d knows why suffering is permitted why tragedy and agony are allowed.

The only true answer for the heart is silence.

After all is said and done, there are no words to explain the pain we feel from evil and no words can erase it.

Practice and Theory
Don’t let evil waylay you from doing good!

We must also remember that G-d has given each of us a purpose in life – to commit and encourage acts of goodness and kindness, to use our time, energy, and knowledge to tear through the layers of the “container” and reveal G-d’s light within.

Despite the lack of satisfactory answers to the question of evil, one can – and must – carry on a meaningful life, promote justice and kindness, and indeed help create a better world. A world in which there is no nourishment for evil, where there is no room in mans heart for any inhumanity whatsoever.

Practice and Theory
Holocaust

How then should one react to a devastating calamity like the holocaust for example?

We, of course have no answers to such utterly barbaric evil, and we must challenge G-d for allowing it.

However at the same time the experience must be interpreted as the ultimate challenge, which we must meet with complete resolve and determination.

We must not allow tragedy to immobilize us, but rather use it to motivate us to intensify ever more our commitment to the forces of good.

Regardless of how long it will take the world to repent for the holocaust, we must say that “I for one, will not slacken my determination to carry out my purpose, to make the world a fitting home for G-d and the rest of humanity!”

Practice and Theory
The inevitability that Goodness will fight and prevail

What is the best way to deal with evil and the pain it causes?

Faith leads us to the most fascinating – and pragmatic – conclusion: We should not get stuck in our hearts or minds, on trying to resolve this question, for we can never answer it adequately!

Instead of wasting our time dwelling on the negative, we should be concentrating on all the good that we are empowered by G-d to accomplish.

We have the ability to counter the forces of evil, by shining the light of goodness on them.

And we have the certitude that good will prevail.

This confidence goes beyond common optimism.

Because goodness is the natural state of the world and humankind, its effect is eternal and cumulative.

All of man’s good works through the ages are building blocks, leading up to a final triumph of goodness in the world.

Moral lapses are not flaws, but by products of this process.

It is to be expected that when the forces of goodness show strength, the forces from where evil originate will endeavor to retaliate and that they will make their final stand just on the verge of their total collapse.

Practice and Theory
How You Can Change The World

After so many years of goodness and virtue, after all the blood and tears shed by so many wonderful people in their fight for what is good and right, the world is virtually saturated with positive spiritual energy.

The goodness is lying just beneath the surface, straining to burst through.

The next step is ours.

By doing one more good deed – and we don’t know which one it is – we will tip the scale, releasing centuries of radiance, bathing the entire world in the light of knowledge and the goodness of G-d.

Chapter 4 Are We Naturally Inclined Toward Good or Evil?
Practice and Theory

Some thinkers contend that good and evil are two equal powers, and some would even argue that evil is the more powerful of the two.

They consider man’s nature as essentially selfish and morality as a superimposed condition to allow us to coexist in peace.

Most people the argument goes, are controlled by their evil inclination, and the world at its root is an uncaring or even evil place.

The Bible teaches us that this is unequivocally wrong.

There is only one G-d and G-d is good, all of G-d creations, including man and our world, are essentially good.

In our hearts, we all have a natural propensity for justice and virtue, and are repulsed by injustice and abuse.

We maintain a deep hope and faith that things will be better than they are.

The fact that we live in a world where, often, “the wicked prosper” and where selfishness prevails is a result of our giving priority to the materiel world and disregarding the spiritual.

After Adam and Eve sinned, a dichotomy was created between matter and spirit, instead of being seen as a “container” for spiritual Divine “light” within, the world began to be seen as an independent, self-contained hence self-centered reality.

This distortion allows room for evil; but whereas goodness is a real and tangible virtue, evil has no power on its own.

The fact that the wicked prosper is not a reality on its own, but as a result of limiting our vision to the one dimensional material world, or our failure to recognize the matter of the universe as concealed light for us to reveal.

Rather than battling evil, we should concentrate on cultivating the goodness within ourselves and others.

After all, since evil has no independent existence, focusing on it only gives it more opportunity to grow.

The best and most effective response and solution to evil is to attack not only its symptoms, but its cause: through selfless acts of goodness, we destroy evil at its root.

When teaching a child, or when you see a friend succumbing to selfishness, it may be tempting to reprimand him, to frighten him by warning of the terrible consequences that will surely befall him if he continues his behavior.

But the positive approach is ultimately more successful.

Tell the person about the goodness within him, of his pure soul and great potential; show what a great injustice he is committing by not living up to his potential.

Such an approach will foster confidence and pride, while a grave warning, demoralizes a person and closes up his soul.
Miracles
Seeing The Extraordinary Within The Ordinary

Chapter 1 What Is A Miracle?

Wisdom

Do you believe in miracles?

To answer this question we must define what we mean by “miracle.”

The word is used so often, sometimes for such trivial events that it has become a cliché.

On a superficial level, some people consider a miracle to be simply an unexpected event or a wonderful surprise; for others, however, a miracle is the belief that G-d has intervened supernaturally in their lives.

People may disagree on whether events in their lives are indeed miraculous or can be explained naturally.

Some see miracles as a true affirmation of G-d in their lives; a more skeptical person might think of a miracle as an unrealistic hope, something one clings to in the face of life’s harsh realities.

The question of miracles is really a question of how we understand G-d and the role he plays in our lives.

By analyzing the anatomy of a miracle and understanding your feelings about miracles, you can learn much that will help you find deeper meaning in your life.

So what do we mean by “miracles?”

If we agree that miracles is a beneficial occurrence that cannot be explained by the laws of nature, then we must first ask the question: What is a natural event?

Why wouldn’t any natural event that awes and excites us, be considered a miracle?

Truth be told, we don’t really understand the “laws” of nature.

Yes, nature operates according to a design that we have come to accept as normal.

But while this makes life more predictable and, therefore, more comfortable, it doesn’t necessarily make it any more understandable.

When we know for instance that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, we feel a sense of order and control, but we still have no idea as to why nature was created this way; Just because we label something “natural” doesn’t mean that we understand it any better than we understand a “miracle.”

The difference between a miracle and act of nature is only in frequency.

Imagine that the sun were to rise only once in our lifetime.

Everyone would rush out to see it, proclaiming it a most miraculous event.

But since we experience a sunrise everyday, we see it as just another ordinary part of our lives.

This is an inherent human trait – we become so accustomed to something that no matter how extraordinary it may be, we take it for granted.

We constantly need a new rush of excitement to arouse our interest.

Someone will say “if only I saw a miracle, then I would believe, then I would change my life!”

What are we waiting for – the parting of the sea?

Miracles are happening around us every moment!

Life itself is a miracle; consider the sheer wonder of human birth.

In fact, we do often refer to birth as a miracle, so why then do we so easily forget that every person on earth is the product of a miracle?

Since we are so distracted by the daily struggle to survive and by our responsibilities and obligations we tend to ignore the miracles around us.

The very noise of life drowns out the underlying sound of what should be most real to us.

It is not that we don’t believe in miracles; we simply stop taking the time to appreciate them.

To see a miracle means to appreciate the uncommon within the common, the extraordinary within the ordinary.

When you can recognize the extraordinary within the ordinary, supernatural occurrences are not that impressive to you.

Your faith – and life – is not dependent on such miracles, for you have a mature relationship with a reality that is higher than yourself, and you realize that the ultimate miracle is our very existence.

Just contemplate the awesome design and balance within any one family of the animal, vegetable or mineral kingdom, to say nothing of the beauty of the human body or the elegance of the solar system.

The Divine miracles of nature are not to be found in its once in a lifetime event, but in its relentless regularity.

Whereas every creation of man is ephemeral every part of nature is boundless, permanent, and inexplicable – in a word miraculous.

Chapter 2 Do Miracles Really Happen?

Wisdom
Miracles in Nature

Because so many of us take for granted the many wonders before our eyes, G-d does on occasion perform miracles to shake us from our reverie, to elevate us to a higher plane of awareness.

Sometimes a miracle occurs to rescue us from a dire situation.

Since G-d created the universe and its laws of nature, it would follow that He can alter or suspend these laws as He sees fit.

But such miracles are infrequent, especially today.

“G-d doesn’t perform miracles for no reason” our sages tell us, and “we ought not to rely on a miracle.”

Why is this the case?

Because this world was created with a natural order so that we could civilize it and make it a dwelling place for G-d; this is accomplished not by going beyond nature but by imbuing nature with that which is beyond it.

A miracle momentarily opens the door between the natural world that surrounds us and the spiritual world within.

G-d’s intention is not to supersede the laws of nature but to give us a greater appreciation and awareness of the miracle of our daily natural lives.

Wisdom

There are two types of miracles – one that openly defies the laws of nature, and one that manifests itself within these laws, initially giving off the appearance of a totally natural event.

We have read and heard much of the first type of miracles – the parting of the Red Sea, for instance, or when someone makes a full recovery from an illness that doctors had considered terminal.

The second type of miracle is no less wondrous – the bloodless fall of communism, for instance, or the world’s retreat from the brink of nuclear war.

So there are in essence three levels of miracles: those that are clearly visible and indisputable, those that take on a natural shape but are clearly miraculous, and the miracle of nature itself.

Why these three levels?

To unite the natural world with G-d.

This requires three elements: the language of the lower natural world, the language of G-d; and an intermediary, something that serves to translate the miraculous language of G-d into our natural world.

The miracle of nature is by far the most common – and the easiest to overlook – for it is constantly occurring around us and inside us.

But imagine that you stepped into the modern world from the eighteenth or nineteenth century.

Look at the computer that can organize such massive amounts of data or the artificial heart with which a surgeon can save a person’s life:

Would there be a shred of doubt in your mind that these were miracles?

And yet they were produced not by some overt supernatural intervention, but by the very hand of man, using the skills G-d gave him to operate within the laws of nature.

Practice and Theory

Living a meaningful life means finding meaning in everything you do and encounter, beginning with the natural world.

The effects of nature color your entire being, you are bound by the demands nature puts on your body – the need to eat, to sleep, to seek safety and shelter.

The solution is not to surrender to the laws of nature or view them as boundaries that constrict our creativity and drive; instead we must see them as a Divine blueprint, which in and of itself is full of miracles.

Yes, nature provides a formidable challenge.

How conventional would it be, for instance, if humans could fly.

But consider the feeling of unfettered release we felt when the first airplane took to the air, or, even more miraculously when we first reached outer space.

Using nature’s blueprint – the wings of a bird – we re-created the miracle of flight for ourselves.

And yet, only a few short decades after we held space exploration in such awe, we already take it for granted.

All our significant experiences in life remain wanting if we ultimately find no deeper meaning in them, if we are not able to go beyond the natural order to which we so often feel prisoner.

How can we break away from the formidable grip of nature?

By understanding exactly what nature is and what it is not, by recognizing that the laws of nature were not placed before us like a barrier, but given by G-d so we could reveal the extraordinary within the ordinary.

To do so we must learn to look at the world with fresh eyes. To observe the beauty of nature and stand in awe of its designer.

Nature is one our best teachers, there is something to be learned from every aspect, no matter how matter how humble.

In a bee’s honeycomb, we see pure efficiency; in the pull of the tides, wee see the cyclical nature of time, in the root system of a tree we see the instinct for self-nourishment.

We must learn to look more closely at our daily experiences.

You will soon see patterns developing; it will become obvious that your footsteps are being guided by Divine providence – when you meet someone, when you take a trip, when a new business opportunity presents itself.

Every moment of your life contains the opportunity for a miracle; it is up to you to stay receptive, to reveal the sublime within the everyday.

(A note from the editor

Einstein famously and quite accurately and correctly taught:

There are only to ways to live life, one as though all is miraculous, the other as though nothing is miraculous.)

Chapter 3 What Should We Learn From Miracles?

Wisdom

In just the last few years, we have experienced countless miracles based on new technologies and further advances in science.

To be sure, these revolutionary developments can all be explained rationally, and yet, when we examine the larger picture, we see a pattern developing: Mankind is coming ever closed to a deeper and deeper unity.

Wisdom

The world continues to grow smaller, thanks to developments in communication and travel.

Technological advancements give us more time and energy to pursue nobler goals; Many of the physical obstacles that impeded spiritual and personal growth in previous generations have fallen away.

Consider the collapse of the Iron Curtain and the crumbling of communism.

Yes, after years of oppression and corruption, it may have seemed inevitable that the Soviet Union would fall, and yet who could have predicted that it would happen so suddenly and so peacefully?

The world is consistently evolving toward unity, toward recognizing the Divine rights of all mankind.

Every field, from science and medicine to business and communication, is experiencing major breakthroughs at breathtaking speeds.

We must see such developments for what they are – not merely random events to be used for self serving purposes, but individual steps toward a path of righteousness, a path leading upward toward a life of meaning and redemption.

Yes, we can explain away many events, even “miraculous” ones.

But then again, a good mind can explain away anything.

Just like you have a choice in everything you do, you can use your mind to either seek out the miracles in life or deny them.

Only you can know the degree of sincerity with which you are trying to understand your life and instill it with meaning.

Wisdom

If you look honestly at your life, you will recognize the miracles within nature and the miracle of nature itself.

You will recognize the Divine providence in all your activities.

You will learn to appreciate the miracles of your own life – the successes you’ve had and the very miracle of life.

Thank G-d for these miracles; don’t take them for granted.

Wisdom

You will realize that the world around you is experiencing miracles within miracles, a revolution from within.

It is time to acknowledge that the world is hurtling toward redemption – and that it is your choice and your choice alone whether to be part of it.

Inevitably we will / are entering a time, when the greatest miracle of all, namely, a new type of nature, when we will experience miracles in every part of our life, shall be the new reality of humankind.
Pain and Suffering
Seeds for Growth

Chapter 1 Why do we feel such pain?

Wisdom
Questions

There are certain questions that we all ask during our lifetime: Why is there so much suffering in the world?

How do we deal with emotional, spiritual and psychological pain?

Why does G-d sometimes allow righteous people to suffer such extreme pain?

The Paradox of Questions

These questions pose a paradox.

The very fact that we are naturally upset by suffering testifies to our belief in a fair and righteous G-d, whom we expect to rule the world justly.

And yet, we see that pain and suffering cause many people to question the very existence of G-d or at least his effectiveness.

We never accept pain as our “natural” state; we recognize it as a suffocating and unacceptable experience, and we will do anything to relieve ourselves of the pain.

Still, pain can break our will and prevent us from thinking clearly and finding help.

So how do we resolve this dilemma and escape the clutches of pain?
Pain is Emotions

One must take great care in discussing pain and suffering.

Even though they stem from very real, sometimes devastating experiences – the loss of a loved one, a serious setback – they are manifested as emotions, and therefore impervious to rational scrutiny.
Pain is Real
How then can we discus such matters without insulting the sufferer?

By recognizing that emotional, spiritual or physiological pain is real, and that no amount of talk can truly relieve it.

Yet pain and suffering must be dealt with effectively and compassionately in order to forge ahead and live a truly meaningful life.

Any emotion clouds our rationale, and when it is as powerful as pain, it can consume us, distorting the way look at ourselves and the world.
The Paradox of Emotions

Emotions are in themselves a paradox: they are natural feelings, yet they cause us to see things in an unnatural light.

Acknowledging this paradox is the key to unlocking the mystery of pain and suffering.

There are those who try to explain these emotions.

Some people of faith try to minimize pain by explaining that this is what G-d wants for us.

Others use pain as an excuse to justify bitterness and even malicious behavior.

But no explanation is sufficient.

The greatest thinker, the firmest believer, the harshest skeptic – they are all left groping for answers when they are in pain.

A person who is suffering stands in a class by himself.

His pain gives him the prerogative to question and challenge G-d, or to remain silent and allow the pain to seep through his being.
Do not explain away another’s Pain

For those who haven’t suffered, trying to explain away someone else’s pain – or in the other extreme, questioning the faith of the sufferer despite G-d’s silence – is vulgar and arrogant.
However we should question our personal response to Pain

We must challenge our own intentions in questioning G-d during times of pain.

Are these questions coming out of anger?

Are we using the pain to justify our response?
Pain is an Aberration

No matter how difficult it may be, we must remember that pain is an aberration, not a norm, and so we shouldn’t allow our aberrational thoughts and doubts in response to pain to become the new norm.
Don’t give up

Perhaps you have been tempted at some point to resign yourself to your pain, to give up your spirit.
Don’t turn away from G-d

Your pain may even lead you to turn away from G-d.

But turning away from G-d means turning away from the very answer to your pain and suffering and thus allowing the pain and suffering to victimize you.

Even in the deepest moments of despair, we must realize that our absolute faith in G-d is what gives us the capacity to somehow reconcile and deal with our grief.

In a world without G-d, pain and suffering would indeed be fruitless.

But with G-d at the helm, even though the pain may subside, we can accept it as part of the challenge of life; it motivates us to seek answers, to explore our relationship with G-d, and to grow from the experience.

This is the great challenge of pain: Will you allow it to debilitate you or will you see it as a catalyst to delve deeper into yourself and your beliefs?

Will you allow the emotions to distort your inner sense of the truth, or will you recognize pain as a crucible from which you will emerge stronger then ever.

We can truly relate to the meaning of pain only before or after the experience.

During pain and suffering, there is little that can be said.

So during the “years of plenty” we must prepare for the “years of famine.”

The better we truly understand our lives when things are going well, the better we will deal with pain when it strikes.

While a tree with strong roots can withstand a harsh storm, it can hardly grow them once the storm is on the horizon.

Chapter 2 What Can We Learn From Pain and Suffering?

Wisdom
Suffering can lead us to reconsider the meaning of our existence

Pain and suffering are opportunities to challenge the way we look at life.

When things are going well, we tend to take life for granted, but trauma brings us to the edges of life, allowing us to review it from a new, revealing angle.

So the real question we must ask ourselves is not just why we sometimes feel such acute pain, but what we are meant to learn from it.

When you see life as being limited to the here and now, to the immediacy of a bodily existence, you are bound to be frightened and hurt by anything that attacks that existence.

When you are aware of a larger picture, though, of a spiritual reality besides a physical one, pain is only one component.

Whereas pain is ultimately ephemeral – whether it is physical, emotional or spiritual – life is eternal, and what matters most is the long term contribution you make.

To this end, you need to look for the positive energy that your suffering produces.

Like the precious few drops of oil that can be extracted only when olives are crushed, suffering can lead us to reconsider the meaning of our existence, to commit more fully to our spiritual development.

Wisdom
Pain may be masking another cause

In and of itself, your pain is often a sign that something else is wrong.

It is a symptom of a cause that may not be readily visible, and you must look at life from a sharper angle to find this cause.

Someone who leads a materialistic life is bound to misconstrue pain, for materialism is by nature transient, fragmented into many isolated moments.

So when you feel pain, you concentrate on it and can feel nothing else.

You may weigh the pain you are feeling at the moment against the joy you felt yesterday, and decide that perhaps life is not worth the trouble.

Practice and Theory
As you have a soul, pain must be deeper than its physical sensation

When you see beyond a one dimensional life, beyond the moment, when you realize that you are composed of not just a body, but a body and soul, you recognize that there is a far higher purpose to your life.

And that there is a far deeper meaning to your pain.

Wisdom

To the naked eye, our goal in life may be to pursue momentary happiness through material comfort.

But we ultimately discover this to be a shallow and meaningless objective.

The true goal in life is to challenge ourselves in order to refine the material world.

Life is synonymous with challenge, and challenge is synonymous with the potential for good and evil, and our ability to choose between the two.

Without the possibility that we may fail temporarily, there would be no independence to life, and therefore no meaning.

Pain and suffering are consequences of this independence, and of the dichotomy between body and soul.

By creating a harmony between body and soul, by moving from a physical one dimensional life into a spiritual two dimensional life you begin to transform your pain into a learning experience and a positive energy.

Practice and Theory
Realigning your perspective on life…

Realigning your perspective on life necessitates a serious commitment, and it cannot be done easily.

It takes discipline and the concentrated effort of study and prayer and good deeds; it means introducing a higher value system to your life.

But it is the only worthy response to pain – and even this may not lift the pain, which is just a short term symptom of a long term cause that you have now set to address.

There is no true explanation for pain; the only way we can understand pain and suffering is by recognizing that the world itself is intrinsically good and that pain and suffering are somehow part of the larger good.

This is not to suggest that pain itself is good nor that we should peacefully accept it.

In fact we must do everything in our power to alleviate suffering in ourselves and others.

At the same time, we must recognize that pain and suffering are part of the mystery of life, a larger picture that the human eyes cannot always see but becomes apparent over the course of time.

As the sages say “Everything G-d does he does for the best.”

It is your duty to discover how pain may be a blessing in disguise and to overcome the pain and restore harmony to your body and soul.

Consider the inevitable frustration that precedes any creative growth or the intense pain that a woman feels when giving birth.

No matter how great such pain might be it is ultimately absorbed in the goodness it produces.

Chapter 3 How Do We Relieve our Pain?

Practice and Theory
The Loneliness of Pain

Pain is a lonely experience.

Still, we must strive to recognize that our pain is, in some form, G-d trying to communicate with us.

Breaking out of pain’s vicious grip is very difficult to do alone, for the pain itself can hold us hostage, limiting our activity and vision to the point were we are nearly helpless.

It is critical therefore, to reach out to family or friends who can offer a wider perspective.

Practice and Theory
Distraction

Freeing yourself from pain begins through movement – moving away and distracting yourself from the painful situation, moving away from the cause that produces such painful experiences so that you can begin to heal.

This movement may be as simple as finding a new friend;
Reading a new book;
Getting involved in a project;
Or taking a educational class – anything to help alter your solitary myopic perspective on yourself and the world.

Practice and Theory

For some, starting to climb out of pain requires a strong push.

One should not wait until he hits rock bottom.

This is where true friends play a vital role.

When someone you love and care for is in pain, you must be there for him, no matter what he needs.

He may say he wants to be alone, that he wants to work through his problems by himself, and this must be respected.

But you must help him also recognize that he needs to broaden his perspective, not further limit it.

Find a way to spend time with him, to talk with him, to share your thoughts with each other.

Most importantly love him and help him help himself.

Practice and Theory

Another component to easing pain is, paradoxically, accepting it with joy.

Practice and Theory

You must be willing to release its inner good by making peace with your soul and G-d.

And you must remember that pain is an opportunity for growth – a chance to review your conduct, to pause and examine your busy life for the source of such pain.

You must recognize that pain can cleanse you, just as a mother swabs her child’s cut with alcohol.

Surely she does not wish to cause further suffering or pain, but she knows it is necessary to properly heal the wound.

Practice and Theory

It is important that you see pain as a test that examines how consumed you are with material comfort as opposed to spiritual growth.

When we recognize our true objective in life, and pursue it with a firm will, our obstacles turn into challenges; instead of being stymied we draw upon our reservoirs of strength and determination.

In this way, pain and suffering test our true commitment to G-d.

Wisdom

We cannot help but ask: Why must there be such suffering?

Couldn’t G-d have allowed us to grow without such pain?

Out faith in G-d dictates that the very fact that there is no answer to this question is in itself proof that we do not need to answer the question in order to fulfill our purpose in life.

The key to dealing with pain and suffering is to stop searching for an answer to satisfy our minds.

After all, it was G-d who created us not vice versa.

How can we presume to fully understand his ways?

So when we ask ourselves, Why does G-d allow such suffering? or Why does G-d permit tragedy and destruction?, ultimately our only true answer is, only G-d knows.

Such trust should not be confused with resignation.

Instead, we must look upon pain as an impetus to redouble our efforts to behave righteously, to encourage others to do the same, and to alleviate the suffering of our fellow man at every opportunity.

By recognizing that pain serves a deeper purpose we expose it for what it is – a challenge to be met with intense determination.

Practice and Theory
The Benefit of Demonstrating Continued Trust in G-d

Instead of being broken by pain, you must demonstrate your complete trust in G-d.

By continuing your life with intense commitment to goodness thereby you will challenge G-d to live up to His promise of being righteous and fair.

Practice

Trust in G-d is our way of turning pain around.

It proves to G-d that, although we may not fully understand our pain, we recognize it as part of a greater good.

And despite our setbacks, despite our confusion, despite our pain, we remain absolutely confident that goodness will prevail.
Redemption
Toward the Meaningful Life

Wisdom

Imagine that you have lived your entire life in a dark tunnel.

Your parents and grandparents lived there too, and so did their parents and grandparents.

You have grown accustomed to the darkness and developed the necessary skills to survive.

You move through life, sometimes staggering in the dark, at other times feeling your way along.

You are totally resigned to the fact that this is what life is, and that it will continue to be so.

But you have been told or have read in some ancient books that long ago, your ancestors lived in a very different well lighted place.

You have heard that you don’t necessarily have to spend your entire life in darkness.

However, you are skeptical – after all, this darkness is the only life you know.

After so many generations have lived in this tunnel, can you really believe some old tale about the possibility of a life on the outside?

And besides, you have learned to cope here, to make yourself comfortable in the darkness, so why would you want to risk changing things?

And yet, something inside tells you that the darkness is just not right for you.

No matter how accustomed you have become to it, you still feel restless and insecure.

You realize that although the darkness may be part of life, it is not life itself.

As we stumble along and feel our way through life, we have all wondered whether we will ever find true happiness.

Will we ever find peace within ourselves and lead a truly meaningful life, or are we destined to a life fraught with fear and confusion.

Will virtue and kindness really prevail?

If not, how can we justify to ourselves and our children the need to adhere to moral and ethical principles?

After all, even though human nature craves a higher purpose, what is the point of working so hard to live a virtuous life if it is not leading anywhere?

The answer to all these questions is just one word: Redemption!

Redemption is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Redemption is G-d telling us that the reason for which He created the universe will indeed be realized – that goodness will prevail and that our lives can be meaningful.

Redemption is both an integral part of G-d’s plan and an integral part of human life.

Without redemption, our lives would indeed be meaningless – a never ending tunnel of darkness, with little awareness of an alternative existence and no hope of ever reaching light.

Chapter 2 Redemption From What?

Wisdom

But what exactly do we need redemption from?

From being trapped in the darkness of the material world, which obscures our search for meaning.

From a listless and aimless life.

From our doubts and fears.

G-d created each of us with a Divine spark, that when cultivated allows us to illuminate the darkness and move foreword.

How does one cultivate this spark?

By recognizing the strength within your soul.

By rising above your ego and acknowledging an absolute force that is far greater than yourself.

By being a giving person and leading a virtuous life.

And above all, by realizing that amidst the darkness there is indeed a light to be found, which will instill every act of virtue with infinite meaning.

Wisdom

Redemption is not an event that happens at the end of our life on earth; it is a cumulative process that begins at the outset of our lives, and every act of goodness brings us one step closer to completing the process.

Redemption means an end to darkness and confusion; it means a time of harmony.

Is redemption a miracle?

No.

It is the way things were always meant to be.

But how can we be sure we will be redeemed?

After all, when we look around, the world seems quite far from redemption.

Selfishness and darkness abound.

The answer, of course, is that G-d told us it would be so.

Wisdom

Ask yourself a simple question: Why do you strive to live a meaningful life?

Why aren’t you comfortable living only for yourself, thinking of nothing but your own needs and desires?

We are driven by a paradox, a force created by the pull of two opposites: our body, which represents the material universe, and our soul, which represents the spiritual universe.

Everything about our existence is marked by this dichotomy.

We live in a world that is imperfect and yet we strive for perfection.

We live a life full of pain and difficulty and yet we strive for peace and harmony.

The same is true on a collective and global scale.

From the beginning of time, people have invested their hearts and minds to make life a little bit better.

We have created new political and economic systems, we have pursued education and enlightenment, we have developed industry and enterprise – all in search of a more perfect society.

Notwithstanding the extreme differences among races, nations, and beliefs people across the globe – six billion and counting are looking for a better life.

In a word we are all looking for redemption.

Do not be intimidated by the word Redemption. Redemption is not necessarily a religious or spiritual matter.

Redemption means freedom – freedom from the boundaries that confine the human spirit.

To be redeemed means to be freed from a tyrannical regime; to be freed from a dangerous habit or an abusive situation; to be freed from the fear within ourselves and the confusion that clouds our vision.

So we are looking for redemption, whether we use that word or not.

Some of us experience brief bursts of freedom but more often than not we resign ourselves to lives without such light or clarity.

The chains of our existence seem too formidable.

We are in a state of confinement, of exile; the shackles of the material world confine us in darkness.
Wisdom

How do you free yourself?

By acknowledging that you were created by God – in G-d’s image – and are therefore inherently good.

By realizing that you come from a higher place than this limited world; that your mission on earth is not merely to use the material world for your own satisfaction, but to refine and civilize it through virtuous acts.

Yes. It can be difficult to find meaning in this dark world.

Believing in G-d and experiencing G-d is a process that takes much time and effort.

But the first step is a simple one: Before you can escape the darkness you must acknowledge it.

Before you can leave your state of exile you must realize that you indeed dwell there.
Chapter 3 How Will Redemption Come About?
Wisdom

Will redemption radically alter our lives?

Yes and no.

The physical world around us will not change; rather we will change.

Maimonides explicitly states that no miracle will occur; redemption will not be an apocalyptic or supernatural event.

The era of redemption (or “The Messianic Age”) says Maimonides will be a time when we are all absorbed in “knowing G-d.”

This means, in part that people will perceive G-d in all their experiences.

Whether a doctor or business person or a parent, we will all see our material pursuits through the filter of spirituality – not as an end in themselves, but as a means to a higher end.

Just as a hungry person naturally craves food, we will naturally crave goodness; we will intuit what is right and wrong and act accordingly.

No longer will there be a dichotomy between our heart and minds, our bodies and souls, our internal and external feelings.

We will all come to recognize that every detail of this universe is the work of God.

Wisdom

The final redemption will come about in a manner similar to the redemption and exodus from Egypt.

Just as Moses was sent by G-d to lead the liberation from Egypt, a Messiah – “Moshiach” – will lead the entire world into the final redemption.

Why the need for a leader?

Because even though we each have a Divine spark within us, the darkness of the materiel world is overpowering.

G-d sends us a selfless leader, therefore, who can rise above the material distractions, who is sensitive to the needs of a generation, and who has the ability to communicate the message of G-dliness to our complicated, confused society.

And who, through his actions and teaching inspires us to study G-d’s wisdom and live according to His laws.

All the nations of the world will be motivated to serve G-d together, to fulfill their obligations by following the moral and Divine commandments as set down in the Bible.

Chapter 4 Where Do We Stand Now?

Wisdom

After thousands of years of living in the tunnel and traveling through its darkness, we now stand on the threshold of the era of redemption.

Revolutionary changes are taking place on all fronts – on a personal level and on a global scale, in technology, in politics and in the human spirit.

The values of freedom, tolerance and generosity are spreading throughout the community of nations.

Family has become important again, as people seek to build meaningful relationships that go beyond their careers or material desires.

Throughout America and the world, people are genuinely searching.

Wisdom

There is greater commitment to inner change and personal growth, instead of blaming others, people are beginning to realize that they must take responsibility for their own lives and are endeavoring to do so.

Wisdom

The world is ready for redemption, but how do we prepare for it?

By opening our eyes and understanding the unique times in which we live.

By acknowledging that the events that unfold each day are part of the process leading toward the meaningful life of redemption.

By learning about G-d and spirituality so that we may live according to his will.

This isn’t always easy.

As we wrestle with an uneasy past and an unfamiliar future, it may seem more comforting to cling to the live that we know and our familiar with.

But the thirst for redemption is coupled with another trait that all humans share: hope.

Hope for health and prosperity.

Hope for justice and virtue.

Hope for freedom from the darkness.

Wisdom

Because the challenge is so large, you must start small.

Take an inspiring class or go to a lecture.

Learn about G-d and redemption – the purpose of creation.

Remember, the first step in escaping the darkness is acknowledging that it is darkness.

Familiarize yourself with these ideas at your own pace, and you will begin to see a larger picture take shape in our own mind.

Pause for a moment to reflect on the true priorities in your life.

Make your home a loving environment; make your office a place where generosity and compassion replace selfishness and aggression.

And above all, share these ideas with family and friends.

Wisdom

If one person can resolve to make these changes, then ten can.

And if ten can, so can one hundred and on and on.

After all we are intrinsically good, we naturally want to lead better, more productive, more meaningful lives.

Commit yourself today and exhort others to do the same.

Practice

After traveling for so long in the dark and winding tunnel of life, we are now approaching its end and we are beginning to feel and see the warm bright light shining in.

Now, then, is not the time to hesitate, it is not the time to be skeptical or selfish.

Even the smallest things – a kind word, a dollar to charity, a few minutes of prayer – are immeasurably significant.

We must do anything we can to direct even one ray of light into the darkness.

Our journey is about to end, we are set to reach our destination, our rendezvous with G-d.

The next move is yours.
Health and Fitness
A Sound Soul in a Sound Body

Chapter 1. Why is it Important to Have a Healthy Body?

Wisdom
Your body belongs to G-d

The truth is that your body is not yours to treat as you wish.

Your body belongs to G-d, who gave it to you to care for, as a vehicle to carry your soul through life.

Wisdom

Just as you would not harm another person, just as you wouldn’t harm anything G-d has created, you should not harm your own body.

Practice

It is your duty to eat healthy, to rest, to stay fit, and to treat your body with respect in every way.

Practice and Theory

Physical fitness, is not arbitrary or optional; it is part of your responsibility to G-d.

Practice

On the other hand, worshiping the body is unacceptable.

Wisdom
The body is a vehicle for the Soul

The body is a vehicle for the soul. This is its value; it is not an end onto itself.

Wisdom

Many people today are health conscious. Indeed entire industries have sprung up around exercise and nutrition.

We understand that being healthy makes us feel better, makes us more productive, and can ultimately lengthen our lives.

We realize that when we are healthy, we can concentrate on family and work, and the other things that are important to us.

But most significantly, a sound body allows you to concentrate on your soul enabling you to fulfill your Divine mission in this world and live a meaningful life.

Chapter 2 What is Good Health?

Wisdom
Good health is a sound soul in a sound body

Good health is far more than a physical body that functions properly, much more than having a temperature of 98.6 degrees.

Good health is a sound soul in a sound body.

Modern medicine has begun to discover the dramatic effect that a person’s spirit can have on the healing process.

People with healthy optimistic spirits for example, have been shown to have stronger immune systems; psychologically too we are increasingly learning that a person’s physical health is directly affected by his or her faith in G-d.

Even a small weakness in the spirit can create a profound blemish in the body.

Practice and Theory

This is why it is imperative to instill the sick with hope and confidence in their recovery.

Practice

Trust in G-d is a source of great comfort, especially when a patient must enter a hospital.

Practice

This comfort is the best medicine to fight off the demoralization that accompanies illness, which is often as damaging as the illness itself.

Practice

This is also why we must visit the sick. Besides the fact that is it an obvious moral obligation, visiting a sick person shows him that he is cared for, which bolsters his confidence and hope.

This in turn, helps strengthen his determination to heal.

Practice

Even though the physical environment of a hospital may depress a patient, awareness of the great potential help in medicine and doctors creates a certain peace of mind and a receptivity to healing.

Practice and Theory

Just as the body is nourished by certain foods, the soul needs spiritual nourishment.

This nourishment includes an awareness of one’s mission in life and an awareness of G-d, who has empowered us with the abilities to fulfill that mission.

Practice and Theory

A healthy soul connects to G-d through study, prayer and virtuous acts.

Practice and Theory

As you fulfill your moral and spiritual obligation, your soul is fed with Divine energy, just as your body is fueled with material energy though the intake of food.

Practice and Theory

It is important to see that every aspect of your physical fitness has a spiritual component.

When you eat, you should acknowledge that the food is not just meant for simple indulgence, but to generate the vitality necessary to lead a meaningful life.

When we go to bed with a humble recognition of G-d and a serious appraisal of our day’s activities, the soul is allowed to drink from the regenerative spiritual waters during sleep.

Chapter 3 What is the role of a doctor?

Practice and Theory
G-d gives permission and power for a doctor to heal

One might wonder: Since it is G-d who gives life and heals, perhaps humans should not meddle in such affairs. But the sages tell us that G-d “gives permission and power for a doctor to heal.”

Practice and Theory

We must do everything within our power to care for ourselves and we must be persistent in finding the best care.

But one should turn to a doctor and not rely on one’s own analysis or intuitions.

Practice and Theory

It is wise, particularly in serious situations to get the advice of two independent doctors, preferable including one whom you know personally and who is sensitive to your individual situation.

Wisdom
The Doctors Influence

The role of a doctor is obviously an important one – firstly, because he of all people appreciates the effect of the spirit on the body, and secondly, because he has earned the trust of a patient and can therefore exert a strong influence.

Practice and Theory

A doctor should use this trust to motivate the patient to improve both his physical and spiritual health.

Practice and Theory
The Doctors Responsibility

He must recognize the great responsibility that G-d has vested in him, he cannot refuse someone in need.

Practice and Theory
Humility in the Practice of Medicine

A doctor must also have the humility to know that, while he may be the one treating the patient, the power to heal comes from G-d.

Practice and Theory

A doctor must not be arrogant; he must be sensitive and concerned over his patient’s welfare, because, after all, he is caring for G-d’s property.

Practice and Theory

For all the authority that G-d has given a doctor, nowhere has a doctor been given the right to condemn a human being as incurable.

Practice and Theory

A doctor has no right to weaken the hope of a patient, because as is written in Exodus “G-d is the healer,” and we know not of G-d’s mysterious ways.

Practice and Theory

So even if a doctor is pessimistic, we must remember that there are higher forces at work.

Practice and Theory

Above all a doctor must recognize that he has been chosen by G-d as an instrument of healing.

Chapter 4 How Do We Achieve Fitness of Body and Soul?

Practice and Theory
Good Health is Our Responsibility

Although G-d in his kindness has given us doctors, the responsibility to care for our body and soul lies primarily with ourselves.

Practice and Theory

Initially, of course, preventive medicine is the best option, this includes acknowledging the root of a problem and not just its symptoms.

Identifying and attacking the root of a problem and explaining it to a person can help avoid the problem, or heal it at its source.

Practice and Theory
A Sound Soul in a Healthy Body

When we are struck with an illness or by an accident, we must be in no way reluctant to use medicine.

G-d has created certain substances with healing and regenerative powers.

He has also given man the ability to mix these substances and to manipulate chemical structures to create various medicines.

These substances must be appreciated for what they are: a means by which G-d enables us to care for our bodies and souls.

Practice and Theory

To use such substances recklessly or needlessly is to violate the very reason for their existence.

Practice and Theory

Initially, the body and soul are adversaries, each struggling for dominance.

Eventually, though, they must learn to appreciate each other.

The soul needs a sound body to express itself.

The body needs to recognize the soul’s authority.

This recognition is a key to good health, for a strong soul lessens the body’s selfish demands.

That is not to say that the body should be denied its material needs.

The intention is not to weaken the body, but to discipline and refine it so it can serve as a proper vehicle for the soul’s expression.

Practice and Theory

There are two phases to this process of self-refinement:

The first is to recognize that without the direction of the soul, the body may indulge at will often leading to destructive ends.

The body enables us to conquer and harness the pure physical energy, for the soul.

The soul once strengthened will in turn feed the body with all the energy it needs to prosper.

Practice and Theory

So the next time you exercise and feel reenergized realize that you have just reenergized a precious piece of G-d’s property.

As you breathe in deeply, or eat a healthy meal, realize that you are investing in a valuable commodity.

But also remember that a healthy body is not an end in itself, only a means to achieve a healthy soul and spirit.

Wisdom

Furthermore the health of your body is dependent on the health of your soul. And it is your responsibility to nourish them both.

Practice and Theory

When your body or souls cries out, recognize the symptoms for what they are: an urgent request for you to address their needs, be they spiritual or physical.

Practice and Theory

As much as we have learned about medicine, and the influence of the spirit on our physical well-being, we must continue to explore this influence and recognize it in our daily lives.

We stand poised at the threshold of a new medicine – when body and spirit will live in complete harmony, eliminating illness and disease.

Take advantage of this opportunity.

Your health and well being, your very life, depend on it.
Body and Soul – One person two worlds

Chapter 1 What is a Soul?
Wisdom
Your Spirit

Man is a composite of both a body and a soul.

The soul yearns for giving kindness happiness love and G-d.

Often we wonder why we feel so empty. Animals seem to have no problem just eating and sleeping, why are we different?
We possess a soul – a part of G-d within us – that food does not nourish; and while we need food for the body to house the soul, nevertheless the food of the soul is compassion, caring etc.
Wisdom
Experiencing G-d

Wisdom
Actualizing G-d

The soul is the real reason we are here.

G-d desires to dwell on earth so he took a part of himself and put it into a body with the hope that you will realize this truth and actualize how G-d would act on earth.

Practice and Theory
The Soul Ascends While The Body Grounds

A candle is a good example of the yin and yang of the body and soul. The flame strives to connect to its source of fire in the heavenly realms which is why it is constantly ascending. However the wick holds the flame to the physical candle.

Although the soul strives to touch G-d, it is the body that reminds the soul that its mission is on earth, not to return to spiritual bliss.

Only when a candle is lit on earth can it be of benefit to others.

Practice and theory
Understanding your soul’s mission harmonizes body and spirit
For there to be inner peace, your soul’s mission must be understood by your body, so they can work in tandem towards a unified goal.

Practice and theory
Your Soul’s Mission
Your soul’s mission is to make a meaningful positive difference in the lives of the people whom G-d in his wisdom has enabled you to help.

Practice and theory
Every Soul’s Mission is Unique

We all have unique abilities, no two people are the same.

It is G-d’s wisdom that enables each of our talents to make a meaningful difference for others – whom can be helped / inspired through our gifts.

Practice and theory
Even if you don’t think so you have a lot to offer!

No matter your profession or lack thereof, your skills or your low self-esteem, the fact is that if you are here, you have an ability to give.

Wisdom
Another Method To Synthesize Body and Soul

The way we create the harmony between body and soul is by realizing that they were both created for the same purpose, to make G-d feel at home – through your acts of goodness and kindness, compassion and mercy – in this world.

Practice and theory
We cannot just be a body
The first step to realizing that you are not just body is realizing that everything physical must have a creator.

Nothing, – particularly according to e=mc2 – exists independently of the energy that is its source. And the source of that energy is G-d.

Our sensory tools of sight smell touch taste are good for interacting only at the physical level but our minds, our hearts, and our soul experience sublime pleasure in goodness and kindness, happiness and love, and it is through them that we understand that our souls yearn for G-d.

Practice and theory
Connecting to Your Soul

In order to fully approach the soul you need to sit in solitude; you need to study the Bible and the commentaries; you need to meditate on the grandeur of G-d, particularly in nature; all these things allow you to rise above the mere sensory tools that give you physical information and allows you to experience your true self, the G-d within.

Imagine for a moment that for some reason you were G-d forbid bereft of your senses. Are you still alive without sight sound smell taste and touch. Initially this may sound terrifying but the answer is that you are just as much alive if not more. The senses give you information, however they are not the sum total of you, they are merely what you see, hear, touch, taste, etc. Through connecting to G-d and through acts of goodness and kindness you experience your soul, who you really are, and there is no sensation like that.

Practice and theory
To achieve happiness pursue meaning

Life is all about our pursuit for meaning – not the pursuit for happiness, for through meaning happiness ensues.

Wisdom
Peering beneath the external into your soul

Curiosity is a staple of human nature. It is the same with our own life, we are searching for essence, our souls that drive us.

Practice and theory
Acknowledging the Soul’s Call
If we don’t acknowledge the forces that drive us, including the soul, we will never understand ourselves.

If we are not aware of how the soul works, we will be unable to nourish it.

Fortunately, when the soul is starved for nourishment, it lets us know.

No matter how much one may try to silence the soul, distracting it through material bliss, it will always cry out, letting you know that a part of your life is missing. This may take the guise of anxiety, aimlessness, or an emptiness.
A yearning for something more meaningful in your life.

Wisdom
The motivation for growth

Without experiencing the soul, there can be no personal growth, because it is the soul that expresses dissatisfaction, which is the motivation for growth.

Wisdom
The body needs no personal growth
The body – as long as its own selfish needs are being met, has no desire for the sublime.

Practice and theory
The inner peace the soul provides the body

The soul gives your life direction and unity.

The material world, that is, the world of the body, is fragmented. The soul is the hub around which all our physical activities can unite.

If you were to observe your body’s material drives during the course of a day, you would see it going around in circles or in jagged bursts of desire, randomly picking the stimuli that attract it at that given moment. The soul connects all these fragments; it connects the trivial to the paramount, and the material to the spiritual through living a life of meaning by committing acts of goodness and kindness throughout.

Wisdom
The Soul’s Humility

The soul provides us with the capacity to rise above ourselves, to see others needs and to respond with sensitivity.

Without a soul a body’s selfish desires can enslave us, and ultimately destroy us (and our happiness.)

Wisdom
The Soul Is Like A Flame

The soul is our subliminal side, always reaching upward like the candle flame, always trying to reconnect us with G-d, goodness, and kindness.

The body may try to keep us earthbound, but the soul has the power to lift us above and beyond.

Practice and theory
All Conflict is Between Body and Soul

The body and soul are in a perpetual battle; all human conflict stems from the dichotomy of body and soul, the tension between our corporeal selves and the need for goodness and kindness.

Wisdom
The Dichotomy Realized

G-d created the body and soul in two distinct phases, taking dust from the earth and then blowing into it the breath and soul of life.

Why did He create our body and soul separately, unlike all the other creatures?
So that man will always recognize that there are two distinct forces in life, the material/physical and the spiritual.

The material side is lowly like the dust of the earth, while the spiritual side comes from the highest place possible, from G-d.

Practice and theory
The Sin Of Eating The Forbidden Fruit Separated The Body and Soul

The first sin (when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden) created a self-consciousness; the independent selfish ego was born, divorced from G-d’s will and intentions.

Adam and Eves’ “eyes were opened” and they became ashamed of their nakedness, because they experienced their bodies as a distinct entity and they sensed their sexuality as separate from their divine mission of goodness and kindness.

One human agenda was split into two: our material desires and our spiritual desires (whereas before it was only spiritual desires).

Since that moment our mission includes restoring harmony between body and soul.

Wisdom

In the beginning, body and soul were united.
The body recognized its role as a vehicle for the souls expression and the soul recognized its need for the body to actualize G-d’s will (here on earth).

Adam and Eve, therefore, “were not ashamed” of their nakedness, for it was as innocent as the nakedness of a newborn child.

Wisdom
The conflict between body and soul

To the soul, the body is initially a hulking presence in constant need of indulgence.

While the soul wants to reach for spiritual ecstasy, the body needs to eat and sleep.

To the body, the soul is initially a nuisance, a conscience that is always limiting the body’s behavior.

Wisdom
The Soul and Body bring out the best in each other

Why would G-d create the potential for such conflict?

Because the soul needs to be challenged and the body refined, and the tension between them ultimately brings out the best in both.

Ultimately, the body and soul must realize that they are both stronger with each other than without.

It is the very resistance of the body that brings out the creativity of the soul. And the soul’s guidance allows the body to use its strength for the good.

A rushing river has a certain amount of energy, but when the river is dammed and that energy is harnessed, it is multiplied many, many times over.

Practice and theory
Dirah Bitachtoinim

And this (merging our body and soul) means uniting the body and soul to fulfill the mission for which we were all put on earth: to lead a meaningful, productive, and virtuous life by making this world a home for
G-d.

Wisdom

Relieve your schizophrenic existence by realizing that all people are internally schizophrenic, having two voices, both that of the body and soul entering your consciousness continuously

The first step in dealing with the conflict between body and soul is to acknowledge that the struggle exists, and be aware of the two distinct forces.

As long as we think we are a single entity, we are existentially confused, and that confusion causes paralysis.

We shuttle between the demands of the body and the soul without ever recognizing the need to fuse the two.

One day we are virtuous, the next we are selfish; one day we are motivated, the next we procrastinate.

Practice and theory
Uniting Body and Soul in a Joint Task

We relieve the tension between body and soul not by negating one of them but by integrating them toward fulfilling one objective:
Spiritualizing the materiality of the universe.

All the body’s strengths and experiences are directed to assist the noble transcendental pursuits of the soul.

Practice and theory
The soul’s vision, the body’s mission

The only way to unite body and soul is to recognize that G-d is far higher than our limited selves, far greater than both body and soul.

This requires a degree of humility, for a person tends to be self-serving by nature.

The soul because of its subliminal nature can rise above selfishness more easily than the body, and can discipline the body, through study and good deeds, to recognize its true mission.

Only then can the body rise to its true prominence; when it serves as a vehicle of the soul instead of acting under its own power, energized solely by its own needs.

We can experience “spiritual arrogance” as well, by insulating ourselves, and neglecting the body and it needs.

Asceticism, though, is not an option.

G-d gave us a body to refine and elevate, to join the soul in its journey.

Practice and theory
Listening to the Voice of Your Soul
An important tool to address the conflict between body and soul is to allow the soul to yearn, to reach upward toward the sublime.

What does this mean in practical terms? Always recognize that you are not totally a material person.

Yes, we have to eat sleep and pay our bills, but that is not why we are here; we are here to bring out the best of our soul and to refine the body.

But because of our body’s physical element, we may inevitably get mired in the muck of materialism.

There is a certain sadness to that, which makes your soul cry out.

So listen when your soul yearns for better nourishment than it is being given; listen to your inner voice that expresses doubt and sadness when you immerse yourself exclusively in material concerns.

Trust the voice of your soul.

Practice and theory
The Yin and Yang of your Soul

But even as your soul yearns to transcend, it must permeate your body and material needs. As the sages teach us, “Run like a gazelle… to do the will of your Father in heaven.” The soul must run, it must yearn, but it must run as a gazelle. Just as a gazelle even in flight “turns his head back looking at the place from which he is running,” so too our yen for transcendence must always be with an eye to the material reality we are fleeing, with the awareness that the purpose of every escape to the heavens is a return to live a meaningful and virtuous life here on earth.

Practice and theory

The soul is G-dliness trying to introduce G-dliness to you, which is learned through studying The Torah (Bible) and experienced within the context of prayer

Once you acknowledge the soul, you must begin to learn how it functions.

You realize that the soul comes from a greater spiritual place, and that it is trying to introduce G-dliness into your life.

You learn that the soul is what leads you toward a meaningful life, and in order to nourish it, you must study and familiarize yourself with G-d’s Biblical wisdom.

Prayer is the emotional ladder that connects from below; prayer, not materialism, provides you with a real home, a place within your body, to put our everyday, material world in perspective.
Practice and theory
The convergence of body and soul

Finally the body and soul converge by committing virtuous acts of goodness and kindness.

It is not enough to encourage the soul and educate it; you must actualize the soul by partnering it with your body.

To help a neighbor in need, to listen to a stranger in distress, to help provide food or clothing to someone who cannot afford it.

These become more than simple good deeds; they become vital nourishment to your soul and a means of putting your physical body to appropriate spiritual use.
Wisdom

The Soul’s joy elevates the body’s darkness

When the soul is nurtured with awareness, warm-heartedness, and refined behavior, it fully energizes our lives with the heat and intensity of an actual flame, lifting the body with it.

Wisdom

The body’s success does not mean the souls success
The battle between body and soul is greater now than it has ever been.

The material world, to which our body is drawn is in a period of unprecedented prosperity.

Our standard of living is high and we have the technology to master many of the problems that once plagued us. But at the same time, our individual and collective soul is starving for nourishment.

Wisdom
When we understand that the body can elevate the soul we bring peace to ourselves and the world

Once the body recognizes the soul’s dominance, and makes peace with its twin brother, the tension (between the two) can be properly harnessed.

The body then becomes a force that propels the soul to a greater place than either one could ever reach on its own.

This harmony between body and soul carries over to the world at large, helping unite the body and soul, the matter and spirit, of the entire universe.

The key to meaning and happiness in your life, then, lies in your own hands: understanding the symmetry and rhythm of your own body and soul.

Practice
Motivating your purpose

Ask yourself: I know what I need.
But do I know what I am needed for?
Responsibility
The Need To Share
Chapter 1 Why Do We Feel The Need To Be Responsible?

Wisdom
Taking Responsibility

We all reach a point in our lives when we realize that if we don’t take responsibility for ourselves, no one will.

Wisdom

We also learn to be responsible to our families and friends, and to those in society who are less fortunate.

But how far should these responsibilities go, and how should we prioritize them?

Even more importantly, why do we feel the need to be responsible in the first place?

The answer lies in the fact that G-d created us for a reason – to actively pursue a virtuous life and perfect this imperfect world.

To that end, responsibility is a basic human need, just like food or oxygen; we cannot fulfill nor justify our existence without it.

Wisdom

Your first responsibility is to yourself, for you can hardly hope to civilize the world at large if your own life is out of sync.

Wisdom

We are all responsible for our own conduct; you cannot blame your parents or your teachers, your employers or your leaders.

Nor can you blame G-d for making your life so difficult.

For no matter how intimidating any obstacle may seem, G-d would not have placed it in your path without also providing you with the abilities to overcome it.

Practice and Theory

This independence is the greatest manifestation of human dignity.

You – and no one else – are responsible for what you make of your life.

Wisdom

Of course, certain people will always need to be cared for – children, obviously, and adults who are unhealthy or incapacitated.

But we must recognize that every single person, from a special child to a handicapped adult has deep inner resources that must be cultivated to the fullest.

So you are also responsible for the welfare of others and for society as a whole.

We have all been given a choice – to see life as it truly is, with each human being connected to the next, all linked in one large cosmic destiny, or to be consumed with self-interest.

Wisdom

A revered Rabbi once journeyed to visit a younger Rabbi who was known for his religious devotion.

The older Rabbi was very much impressed with the young man’s total immersion in prayer and study, and asked the secret of his unwavering piety.

The younger man replied that by concentrating deeply on his studies, he was able to ignore any outside influences that might distract him.

Indeed the older man had noticed that many of the nearby villagers were involved in activities that were quite contrary to piety.

He said to the younger man “When it is very cold, there are two ways to warm yourself.

One is by putting on a fur coat, the other by lighting a fire.

The difference is that the fur coat warms only the person wearing it, while the fire warms anyone who comes near.”

Practice and Theory
Using Your Talents

Each of us has been given distinct talents and abilities, and it is our responsibility to share them in a positive way.

Practice and Theory

A leader must lead, a teacher must teach, a writer must write.

A skill that you take for granted, may fill an indispensible need for someone else, or may have a far greater impact than you could have ever imagined.

It is your obligation to regularly ask yourself, how can you use your unique abilities to improve the world.
Wisdom
Giving versus protectionism
It might seem possible to look the other way, to insulate yourself and your family from influences that you may consider dangerous or corrupting.

But that is not responsible behavior; that is simple protectionism.

Practice

When we see someone in need, we must respond.

Wisdom

When we see injustice we must cry out.

Practice

When we see imperfection, we must do everything possible to help perfect the situation.

This does not mean that we should think of ourselves as saviors, sweeping in to rescue people from themselves.

It simply means acknowledging that we are not self-contained individuals, that we are all part of a larger community and are therefore responsible for each other.

It means building a fire instead of putting on a fur coat.

Practice and Theory

No matter how unseemly a person may be, we are responsible for him, and must do everything in our power to help him grow.

We have a special responsibility to assist the incarcerated for instance, giving them every possible opportunity to achieve and grow and rehabilitate.

Practice and Theory
It matters little if you see the result or not

Sometimes we will see the effect of our help, but often we will not; it doesn’t make a difference.

We may feel frustrated and helpless, as if we had been asked to move the entire ocean one spoonful at a time.

But it is not only the result that counts; it is your efforts, and the sincerity behind the effort that fill your innate need to be responsible.

And ultimately, every effort does bear fruit.

Chapter 2 What does responsibility mean in today’s world?

Wisdom
Responsibility

We are all greatly indebted – to the families who raise us, to the friends who guide us, to the educators who teach us and to the nations that protect us.

It is obvious that we must repay these debts by doing whatever we can to better society.

Just think for a moment how different your life would be if no one had exercised the responsibility to care for and educate you.

Wisdom

Never before has there been such an urgent need to reach out, to listen for the cries of those in need.

This is a critical generation, with so many people lacking direction in their lives and their relationships.

Wisdom
You Can Make A Difference

And yet many of us are tempted to say, “How can I possibly think about someone else’s problems when I have so many of my own?”

Practice and Theory

One must never doubt one’s ability to help.

“What can I really accomplish?” we ask ourselves.

“Who will listen to me?”

Every person without exception has been given the abilities to illuminate his or her corner of the world.

Wisdom
The Current Human Chain

As history continues to show us, humanity is a chain – something that happens in the farthest corner of the planet will eventually affect your life.

In earlier generations, we were far more isolated, and may have been able to insulate ourselves and our communities.

But that is plainly no longer the case.

We interact with each other at every turn, at every level; personal standards influence universal ones, and vice versa.

Wisdom
Ignorance and aimlessness are not neutral

We cannot afford to remain on the defensive, waiting for a crises.

Ignorance and aimlessness are not neutral; they are active destructive forces.

Wisdom
We Must take Responsibility For Our Fellow Man

Each one of us today must take responsibility for his fellow man.

Practice and Theory
Helping despite imperfections

In order to help each other of course, we must first help ourselves by being properly educated and prepared.

But in times of great need, it would be foolish and selfish to wait until we reach a state of total personal perfection before reaching out to help another in need.

Practice and Theory
Your Effort Breeds New Abilities

You must not fear leaving your comfortable environment for a world that sometimes seems hostile, for as in many matters, the challenge of a new situation draws out a level of determination you never knew you had.

After all, your very life originates by G-d uprooting your soul from its comfortable spiritual environment and transplanting it to a foreign, material world.
Practice and Theory
Your mission must be connected to the Divine mission

There is but one condition for fulfilling your responsibilities – that you are connected to a Divine and absolute code of ethics and morality.
Wisdom

If you depend on your own subjective views, and let your own personality dictate your actions, you may do more harm than good to yourself and to others.

Practice and Theory
Our Responsibility To The Environment

Besides our responsibility to ourselves and our fellow man, we are also responsible to the environment around us.

The human being is the jewel of creation, but every single thing in our physical world – animal mineral and vegetation – has also been charged with Divine energy and purpose, and must be treated accordingly.

The environment is sacred and no man has a right to destroy it; we are invited to take advantage of its elements only as they relate to our mission on earth.

So yes, we raise animals and vegetables for sustenance, we cut forests to build houses and schools, and we extract fossil fuels from the earth to warm ourselves.

But unless we are using the environment responsibly, for wholly productive purposes and higher ends, we must protect it as vigilantly as we protect ourselves.

Practice and Theory
One World

We all live in the same world.

If one person is in pain, we should all feel it; if one person succeeds we should all benefit.

Wisdom

Each of us has been given the choice to see this underlying unity or to look the other way and worry only about himself, even at the expense of others.

Wisdom

Responsibility is the one great gift G-d gave us – the gift of being active participants in the dynamic unfolding of the world’s destiny.

We must never ignore this gift, in the delicate balance in which the fate of the world hangs, in may be one deed of virtue, goodness or kindness, that tips the scale.

Wisdom
Take Responsibility Now For All Your Future Encounters

You can have a positive effect on every person you meet, to an extent far beyond the scope of your vision.

Through your simple hello and congeniality you might even be saving a life, and each life is an entire world.

And because responsibility is one of the most fundamental human needs, fulfilling your responsibilities means saving your life as well.

Wherever you go, whomever you meet, look for an opportunity to help, to inspire, to lend support.

Practice and Theory

In this complicated and troubling world, we must always remember to take responsibility for ourselves, each other, and our environment.

For besides G-d, we are all that we have.

Remember the teaching of the sages, “If I am not for myself, who will be? But if I am only for myself then I am selfish! And if I don’t act today, then when will I?”
Work and Productivity
Your Contribution To Life

Chapter 1 Why We Must Work?

Wisdom
Work is our contribution hence meaning in life
Most of us acknowledge and relate to the fact that we need to work, and yet we constantly agonize over our workload.

Is this our destiny, or can we achieve some balance?

More importantly, can we find a deeper meaning in this need to be productive without being overwhelmed by the need itself?
Practice and Theory

The drive to work and accomplish is an integral part of human life. As the sages say “every person was created to work.”

A person cannot be satisfied if he or she is not productive.
Practice and Theory

Human nature detests receiving something for nothing – “bread of shame” is how it is described by the sages.

Wisdom

Remember: We were created to transform this material world into a more refined place and to introduce a higher dimension: G-dliness.

So while the ultimate goal of our work may be spiritual growth, the fact that G-d placed us in a material world means that we reach that spiritual place through lowly physical labor.

Practice and Theory

But if we were created to work, why do we so crave vacation and rest?

Because man is composed of two dimensions, the body and the soul.

The body, by its nature, grows weary, and needs to rest.

The soul, on the other hand, never grows weary; it is the vibrant soul that pushes you to work even when your body itself would rather languish and be cared for by someone else.

Wisdom

A story
A nobleman who enjoyed the aesthetics of life hired a farmer to stand inside his castle and move back and forth with a hand pick, just as he would in the field.

The nobleman took great pleasure in the simple elegance of the farmer’s sway, and he paid the farmer well for his “work.”

Still, after entertaining the nobleman for several days, the farmer refused to continue. “But I pay you generously,” said the surprised nobleman, “Many times more than you would make by working in the field. And you don’t have to exert yourself so much?”

“You don’t understand” the farmer replied. “I cannot continue doing something – even if it takes no toil and effort – that doesn’t produce. I would rather work for much less and much harder and be productive.”

Wisdom

Why did G-d create man so that his satisfaction is linked to effort?

Wouldn’t we be better off if we received everything we needed with no effort at all?

The answer is that through work, a human being becomes a giver, a contributor to life.

Wisdom

By creating man so that his deepest pleasure is derived from his own effort, G-d bestowed the greatest gift of all: the capacity to become G-dly, an equal partner in the creation and development of the universe.

Wisdom

So work is not something that we do merely to make enough money to surround ourselves with material comforts; work is the natural expression of human life.

Wisdom

Work is not a burden that must be wearily born, but the very fabric of who we are and how we contribute to life.

We must recognize and take advantage of this most precious innate tendency, and use it in a productive and Divine manner.

Practice

No matter how much we may have accomplished, we can and must surpass our previous achievements.

There are, of course, marked differences between each phase of human life, but we must be productive through them all.

A child, unburdened by the need to earn a living, must be productive through education, study and emotional growth in his formative years; the same is true for an older person who no longer needs to earn a living every day.

Even a vacation should only be a pause from physical labor, not a vacation from personal and spiritual growth.

Each of us is born with tremendous resources and inestimable abilities; part of being productive is discovering these strengths.

When we fully apply ourselves, we will accomplish far beyond our expectations.

Wisdom

The sages say, “If someone should tell you ‘I have worked but not achieved’ do not believe him; if he says ‘I have not worked but I have achieved’ do not believe him; but if he says ‘I have worked and I have achieved’ believe him.”

Chapter 2 Toward What End Are We Working?

Practice and Theory
Using our Work for Higher Ends

Work as an end onto itself cannot be fully satisfying or fulfilling.

As more and more people are realizing, it is possible to have a largely successful career and still feel empty; if you do not nourish your own emotional and spiritual needs, no amount of material success will satisfy you.

We need to know that our work leads us to a higher purpose; we need to know that we are leaving a positive impact on our world.

Practice and Theory

Remember, the underlying purpose of our work is to use our talents, abilities and strengths to improve the material world and make it a more G-dly place.

Practice

To do so, we must recognize that spirituality is the primary force in our lives while the material and physical are a vehicle for the soul’s expression.

Practice and Theory

Yes, you must do everything possible to ensure that your work is a success, using your physical and intellectual faculties to the utmost, but your primary objective should always be to make your work a channel for G-dliness, for noble and humane causes.

Practice and Theory

You must fully concentrate on your work, and yet not be so immersed or enamored with it as to lose sight of your higher objective.

Practice and Theory

You must remember that the real bottom line is G-d and the virtuous results of your work, not the numbers written on the bottom of an accounting sheet.

Practice

How do you actualize your commitment to working toward a higher goal?

• By conducting your business ethically and honestly.

• By giving generously to charity.

• By recognizing that it is G-d who blesses you with prosperity.

• By understanding that every new business opportunity is really an opportunity to spread a spirit of G-dliness.

Practice and Theory

We should always work as hard at serving G-d as we work on our own business.

There are in fact many parallels between Divine Service and running a successful business.

• In our altruistic and spiritual pursuits, we should always try to return a profit, bearing more fruit than the original investment.

• We must be persistent: if one method doesn’t succeed, try another.

• We must be totally immersed in our noble pursuits, even dreaming about them, not just acting as a hired hand.

• We must fully use all the resources available to us, and remember that accountability is crucial to success.

• And above all, wherever we go, we must look for new opportunities to perfect ourselves and society.

Practice and Theory

It might seem that a strong commitment to G-d would detract from our work, but the exact opposite is true.

For example, consider designating a part of your workday for study or prayer.

Even if it is only a few minutes, you will achieve a specific focus within each day, which will carry over into your work.

How often are we unproductive at work because we are unfocused?

You may spend hours and hours at the office, but unless those hours are focused, you accomplish very little.

Practice and Theory

What about when we simply feel overwhelmed by our work burden?

Again, the only way to meet this challenge is to connect with the Divine.

Practice and Theory

When you focus on and commit to fulfilling your higher mission, through generosity and kindness, your soul provides you with vast amounts of energy, far beyond your expectations.

While the body constantly needs to be rested and refueled, there are no such limitations to our spiritual energy – nor, therefore, to our spiritual productivity.

Practice and Theory
We must set high standards for ourselves in our work.

Just as the soul is limitless, so is our potential for growth.

Chapter 3 How Can We Overcome The Challenge Of Hard Work?

Practice and Theory
Obstacles are really Challenges to Bring Out Your Very Best

Since the whole point of life is for man to become an independent giver and creator, every obstacle must be seen as merely another challenge designed to bring out our best effort.

Practice and Theory

Life itself is the greatest challenge of all – each of us is a vulnerable person in a brutal world, with no way of knowing what fate his or her destiny holds.

But life’s challenges bring out the deepest dimensions of the soul.

Every form of growth is preceded by frustration and pain.

A mother must endure the difficulties of pregnancy and childbirth before she can experience the triumph of birth.

An artist must endure the hours of confusion and frustration before his or her creativity yields fruit.

How do we access the inner strength to transform our work obstacles into challenges for growth?

By seeing work for what is – a means to fulfill our Divine mission.

Practice and Theory

If we remember that we work not just for the monetary gain or the personal satisfaction, our commitment to work becomes that much stronger.

And yet our work also becomes less all-consuming for we are no longer totally controlled by the demands of the moment and by the subjective whims that are part of human nature.

Instead of getting caught up in work at the expense of everything else, you see it as one more step in serving G-d, your family, and society.

Wisdom

We all know how it feels to be consumed by work.

We can no longer see the world beyond our job, we feel overwhelmed and confused.

But just acknowledging that our work has a higher purpose is the start of a healthier attitude.

What once seemed like insurmountable obstacles will become challenges that spur you on to even greater accomplishments.

Wisdom

We especially encounter frustration at the start of a new project or a new job.

As the sages say “All the beginnings are difficult.”

If approached with the proper perspective, though, this frustration becomes an opportunity to start each project with an added determination, an extra incentive to get of to a robust beginning.

We must realize, G-d is with us in all that we do.
Practice and Theory

The workplace is indeed a formidable challenge to our standards and values.

We are inundated with demands and obligations, with complications and challenges that threaten to make us lose sight of why we are there in the first place.

By focusing on your spiritual priorities, however, you can ensure that your work will keep moving toward productive and virtuous ends.

Practice and Theory

When you go to work tomorrow think about your goals in a new way.

Transform your work environment into a place where kindness and goodwill flourish.

Set an example of gracious conduct; greet everyone with an extra-pleasant “good morning.”

Instill your business with a commitment to higher values.

Work hard to succeed, all the while knowing that you are working to fulfill G-d’s will.

At the end of your workday you should be able to step back and see your work with this new perspective.

And this new perspective will not only benefit you and your family but your business as well.

Practice and Theory
Modern technology enables us to spend far less time and energy on physical labor, freeing us to be more productive.

Such freedom should not be squandered, it should be taken as a challenge to spur us on to greater spiritual growth and bring further harmony to the world.

Wisdom

Until now, we have only known life in a world in which achievement was measured in terms of a wilderness tamed, a tyrant defeated, a disease cured.

A world in which there is a Noble Peace Prize only because there are wars, where there is learning only because there is ignorance, where there is philanthropy only because there is hunger and want.

But now we have the opportunity to go even further.

We can do more than simply defeat evil; we can probe the infinite realms of goodness.

It is up to each and everyone of us to seek out, and take advantage of these new opportunities, to exert ourselves and be more productive than ever.

Practice and Theory

At the end of every workday, ask yourself: Am I using all of my G-d given resources and abilities, time and energy, to produce more than was given to me?

If you can answer yes to this question, you will know that you are well on your way toward a meaningful life.
A Day In Your Life
Toward a Meaningful Day

Chapter 1 What was your day life?

Practice and theory

What was your day like?

If you were to make a list of all the things you did today, it might look like this: You woke up, exercised, showered, ate breakfast, made a phone call, read the newspaper, checked the weather forecast, got dressed, went to work, had pleasant moments with some colleagues and unpleasant ones with others, took a lunch break, had some productive meetings and some unproductive ones, went home, ate dinner, did a little paperwork, talked with your family, read a magazine and went to sleep.

Along the way you had hundreds of trivial encounters and perhaps one or two meaningful ones.

Your life is made up of countless such bits and pieces.

One days worth may not seem like much, but add up the pieces day after day, year after year and you end up with an entire life split into millions of fragments, with no connecting thread.

What is wrong with that?

Human beings naturally abhor fragmentation; it rattles our peace of mind, creating untold tension and anxiety.

What’s worse, these trivial activities are bound to overwhelm the very few truly significant events in our lives.

Over time, the fragments pile up and begin to suffocate our soul.

While your inner self craves focus purpose, a direction, any stray experiences disturb its steady course.

Is it any wonder that after forty or fifty years of slogging through such disjointed days, we wake up and suddenly wonder, “What have I done with my life?”

We all want to live a meaningful life. And we all consider our lives to be precious.

Would it not follow then that each day is precious as well. And each minute?

After all, we constantly strive to make our mark on humanity, to contribute something worthwhile to our world.

We never know when an opportunity to do so might present itself, shouldn’t we be prepared at any moment?

You may have the best intentions and the greatest aspirations to accomplish great things, but when your day is filled with quotidian activity, you simply don’t have room for anything else.

With so many hours devoted to earning a living, to eating and sleeping, to meeting your social obligations, how much time do you have left to satisfy your true needs, to pursue higher goals?

Amidst the clamor of your chaotic life, how can you hear the voice of your soul?

Obviously, it is impossible to eliminate your basic daily needs – you have to eat and sleep and make a living. So the only option is to find a thread that unites all your daily activities and sews all the fragments together.

This thread is the mission that G-d asked you to fulfill: to refine yourself and every aspect of your life, from your intellect and emotions all the way down to the most mundane activities.

Such focus has a twofold result: Everything in your life becomes united toward one end, eliminating the fragmentation, and even the smallest activity becomes infused with real meaning, since everything you do has a G-dly purpose.

Practice and theory
Sanctifying Time

How do you become G-dly?

By connecting to your soul.

And how do you connect to your soul?

By giving it time.

Instead of acknowledging your soul sporadically, at certain times and in certain places, you acknowledge it all the time, everyplace.

You sanctify every moment of your life – not only while you are studying or praying or doing charitable deeds, but while you are eating and sleeping, at home or at work, while traveling or on vacation.

Instead of carrying out your daily activities by rote, you discover the G-dliness and goodness and purpose within each of them.

Chapter 2 How Do You Live A Meaningful Day?

Practice and Theory
Begin with a Prayer

When you awake in the morning, while you are still lying in bed, think for a moment: What does it mean to be awake and alive?

Begin each day with a prayer; thank G-d for the new day.

Practice and Theory
Beginning the Day With Purpose

Acknowledge your soul and the vibrancy and fortitude it provides.

Think about what you would like to accomplish that would make today a meaningful day.

Train yourself to do this every morning and you will begin to see your life in a new sharper focus.

Practice and Theory
Gaining Perspective

But concentrating on your soul is a daylong activity, not to be confined to those first waking moment.

Create spaces during the day when you can be alone with your soul and with G-d.

Study something meaningful, using your intellect to think about G-d, and contemplate the purpose of your existence.

As your day grows increasingly hectic, look back to that calm moment when you awoke, when your thoughts and desires were crystallized.

Try to recapture that focus, and apply it to the moment at hand, creating an island of purpose in a sea of randomness.

Wisdom
Reviewing Your Day

You should end your day just as you began it.

As you prepare for sleep, review the day and how you used its opportunities.

Recognize that G-d has put you here for a purpose, and that all your activities should express that purpose.

Go to sleep with the resolve that no matter how good – or not so good – today was, tomorrow will be better.

If you do so, your sleep will be more peaceful and your waking more meaningful.

Practice and Theory
Uniting The Fragments Into A Unified Purpose and Picture

By connecting with your soul first thing in the morning and last thing at night, you instill new meaning into every activity that’s in between.

Instead of being pushed around by the myriad trivial events in one day, you begin to control them.

Instead of seeing hundreds of isolated fragments, you see one big picture and the many pieces of which it is composed.

Practice and Theory
The meaning of Sleep

Even sleep takes on a new meaning, instead of seeing it as one more fragmentation of your life, a regrettably large portion of the day that you must surrender, sleep becomes an opportunity to rejuvenate your soul by sending it back to a place that is detached from your material worries, returning refreshed for a new meaningful day.

Chapter 3 How Should You Manage Time Within The Day?

Practice and Theory
Capturing The Morning Ability

Without question, the material world and your everyday needs distract you from living meaningfully.

This is why it is so important to connect with your soul in the morning.

Before the day begins, you are not yet engaged in any physical activities.

And it is only physically that you are constrained by the limits of time and place; mentally there are no such boundaries.

So during those first moments of the day, which are yours and yours alone, you can circumvent these boundaries and concentrate fully on spiritual matters.

And this gives you the opportunity to plan the time meaningfully of your entire day.

Practice and Theory
Time is not an enemy but a friend

We have been conditioned to see the passing of time as an adversary.

We are always rushing to an appointment or trying to meet a deadline.

But time is yet another of God’s creations. And as such it has a life of its own.

When you waste a moment, you have killed it in a sense, squandering an irreplaceable opportunity.

But when you use the moment properly, filling it with purpose and productivity, it lives on forever.

Practice and Theory
The key to time management is to see the value of every moment.

This is the key to time management – to see the value of every moment.

Not only will this make you treasure each moment more preciously, but you will be patient with yourself and with others, recognizing that there are millions of moments on the path to any worthwhile achievement.

Practice and Theory

You cannot add more minutes to the day, but you can utilize each one fully.

How do you do this?

By totally investing yourself in the one activity you are engaged in at any given moment.

Ignoring everything that came before it and that will come after it.

And how can you achieve such concentration?

By recognizing that everything you do is important to G-d and is one vital piece of the larger picture of your life.

Chapter 4 How Do You Learn To Rethink Your Day?

Practice and Meaning
Focusing on each event fully

To live a meaningful life – day by day, minute by minute – may seem daunting.

How can one possibly focus amidst all the distraction, and emotions?

Even when you are satisfied with your past, how can you continue to grow?

How can you break out of old patterns and look at life anew?

By isolating your problems and addressing them one at a time.

As the sages say, “when you grasp for everything you end up holding nothing.”

Since each day is a lifetime, you must focus on the day before you, not on yesterday or tomorrow, and utilize its opportunities to the fullest.

Practice and Theory

At the same time make each day a routine; start with concentrating on the purpose of your life at the beginning and end of the day.

It may be tempting to change your life all at once, but slow, steady progress is always more effective than a blitz “crash course.”

Make each day meaningful, and the days will begin to add up.

Remember even the longest journey can only be completed once step at a time.

Practice and Theory

Many of us learned to look at each step and each day of life, as an almost inconsequential side trip disconnected from any larger journey.

But the secret to any journey – especially the journey of life – is to fix you eye on the destination and to keep steadily traveling towards it.

Veering off, even for a short while, is at best a loss of time, at worst we get confused and find it difficult to return on course, to realign our compass in the direction of our destination.

Practice and Theory

Remember that in the journey of life your body is the vehicle but your soul is the compass.

By following its voice, you remain focused on your destination, and each step – each day -brings you closer.
Practice and theory
Start Driving Meaningfully

How you live today determines how you will live tomorrow.

The very next thing you do, no matter how small, will determine the rest of your life.

It is never too late to start heading towards a meaningful life.
Unity
The Rapport Between Man and G-d

Chapter 1 Why Do We Need Unity In Our Lives?
Wisdom
The Natural Human Quest For Unity

Human nature is drawn to unity.

Look at a child who is given a pile of blocks of various colors and shapes – he or she naturally tries to group each block with the others that resemble it.

We are all constantly searching for the connections between the various objects and forces around us, trying to make sense of their relationships.

When we are not able to do so, when we cannot achieve symmetry or order, we feel confused and unsettled.

What do we mean when we say we are searching for “meaning” in our lives? What we really yearn for is to make order out of disorder, to gain insight into the unknown forces that determine all movement and behavior. But why are we so drawn to unity and so disturbed by chaos?

Because all the different creatures and forces were created by one G-d. Therefore the underlying element of our world is a single comprehensive unity, a seamless all-embracing equanimity.

So even when we see disunity on the surface, we can sense a unity within, and our souls reach for it.

A leaf, a twig, and a piece of bark may look nothing alike, but there is no question that they are all part of the same tree.

In fact, their very existence is possible only as long as they are unified with the tree itself.

Life itself is really a search for unity.

A scientist searches to discover the unifying laws that govern the seemingly diverse forces of nature.

A psychologist tries to trace the myriad elements of external human behaviors back to a few underlying needs inside the human psyche.

An engineer combines thousands of individual parts to combine one machine.

But all these forms of searching for unity are actually a means to a higher end: the search for G-d and the ultimate unity.

Wisdom

Our own personal search for unity is directed towards this same higher end.

We have been charged with the responsibility of taking all the elements of the material world – our families, our work, our daily concerns – and channeling them towards G-d, the one true unifying element both within and outside of ourselves.

To discover unity and meaning in our own lives, we must first understand the unity of G-d, and by searching for G-d, and for the soul within our physical bodies, we begin to make sense of the millions of threads that make up the beautiful tapestry of life.

This recognition enhances our lives immeasurably, for it invests deep meaning in our every single action and thoughts.

This is why we crave unity, and why we must search for it.

We are destined to unite our body and soul, our thoughts and our deeds, our faith and our reason.

Leading a unified life means leading a life of harmony, a life into which we have brought G-d into our every moment.

Chapter 2 What Is Unity?
Wisdom
Harmony within Diversity

Unity is often confused with sameness.

We may think that if everybody thought and acted the same, we would have perfect harmony.

But unity is a process, whereas sameness is just a state of being.

The same musical notes played again and again would be monotonous or irritating, but many different notes, each played differently, create a beautiful composition.

It could be said that unity is literally as simple as one, two, three.

One is the presence of an individual unit. Independent, but alone.

Two is a duality, two distinct entities.

And three introduces a third dimension that can combine or contain the two entities, producing a greater unity.

So unity can take two seemingly disparate elements and while recognizing the unique qualities in each, create a whole that is far greater than the sum of its parts.

Unity is the harmony within diversity.

Wisdom

There are countless examples of unity all around us.

Our human body, for instance, is one unified whole made up of millions of diverse elements – genes, cells, limbs, organs and systems – all of which are nourished by different foods, liquids, vitamins, minerals, and unseen forces that we have only just begun to understand.

The challenge of unity is to recognize the strengths of these different elements and bring them together without annihilating any one element’s individuality.

Consider the love between two people, each person must be willing to bond while respecting the other’s individual needs and qualities.

Wisdom

The same is true in our relationship with G-d.

We humans must achieve a unity with the Divine without compromising ourselves or G-d.

But how can we integrate our independent earthly reality with G-d’s all encompassing, absolute reality, without obliterating one or the other?

Isn’t Divine unity antithetical to the extraordinary diversity of our physical universe?

This seeming paradox is exactly what G-d intended. He endowed our earthly reality with a seemingly independent existence that appears to mask G-d’s absolute reality – with the distinct objective that we would ultimately use our free will to accesses our innate desire to unite with G-dliness.

As our eyes and hearts and minds grow more and more knowledgeable about our physical reality, we begin to see, like scientists and engineers, that there is indeed an unshakable and Divine unity that underlies and gives meaning to everything we do.

The idea of Divine unity goes far beyond the concept that there is only one G-d; it also excludes any existence apart from Him.

Everything we can know or see emanates from this single unity.
Chapter 3 How Does G-d Reveal Unity?

Practice and Theory
How G-d Reveals His Unity

Because G-d wants us to become unified with him, and not just subjugated by him, He gave us the ability to achieve true unity with our Divine source.

And He allowed us to contemplate this awesome dynamic.

Yes, we inhabit a finite reality which, by definition and nature precludes contact with anything truly infinite or transcendent.

But in creating us, G-d has also imbued within us channels of awareness that allow us to breach the outer fragmented layers of our physical world, the “container,” and glimpse the pure essence of G-d’s unifying “light” within.

How does G-d choose to reveal this light?

Consider a teacher and his student.

The teacher knows that the student has a less developed intellect, and that if he presents a concept on the level of his own comprehension, the student will only be confused.

To introduce a new idea to the student, he condenses it and uses metaphors or parables to bring it within the students grasp.

Sometimes, when the teacher is at a far higher level than the student, it may be completely necessary to set aside the original concept, instead he must find a new frame of reference, reaching for examples and metaphors that the student can understand, even though they are far removed from the original concept.

The teacher must make a radical jump from one world of comprehension to another, and then allow a ray of light to stream through, containing condensed information and drawing a connection.

Using metaphors is not meant to separate the teacher and the student, but to bring them together in a unity that does not compromise either of them.

For the teacher, the complexity of the concept itself remains intact in his mind even though he had expressed it in a simple metaphor; he perceives it from the “inside out.”

The student meanwhile gains access to a new concept in a language that he is capable of understanding; he begins to relate to the concept from the “outside in.”

The “inward” journey from metaphor to concept has begun.

The concept grows and grows and becomes integrated in the students mind until he or she ultimately understands the original concept just as it exists in the mind of the teacher.

We can use this relationship between student and teacher as a metaphor to understand our own relationship with G-d.

G-d could have chosen to conceal everything, never extending to us a stream of metaphors through which we could learn his way.

He could have allowed us to coexist as independent beings, separated from His omnipresence.

But where would that leave us?

Yes, we would exist, but we would have no insight into the significance of our existence.

Even worse, we would have no desire to seek the meaning of our existence; we would remain locked into our own limited perspective, with no need to unite with something higher than ourselves.

Instead, by creating our world so that the outermost layers peel away to reveal successively more abstract and spiritual layers, G-d provided us with an opportunity to understand our Creator.

Just like the student, we gain knowledge of the universe step by step, metaphor by metaphor.

Our perception of the “light” continues to be heightened as our “containers” continue to be widened, as we approach ever nearer to the perspective of the Creator, our Divine guide and teacher: G-d.

Just as the relationship between a teacher and a student requires a delicate balance of closeness and respect, of love and awe, we must strive for a similar balance in our relationship with G-d.

This creates a healthy tension, forcing us to separate the finite from infinite, to differentiate between our limited worldly reality and G-d’s absolute reality.

The very act of recognizing this separation allows us to begin integrating the two realities.

Not only do we feel that G-d is with us every moment, but we also recognize that G-d created and transcends every moment.

Finally, we come to the ultimate conclusion that “there is nothing else” besides G-d.

Chapter 4 How Do We Achieve Unity?

Practice and Theory

To allow us to unite with Him, G-d has provided an elaborate trail of metaphors, like stepping stones across a wide river.

These steps function like a mediator or a translator.

A translator does not add any new ideas to a conversation – that is not his role – but he unites two parties in communication.

An intermediary does not settle a dispute, but he creates a bridge, a line of communication that enables the two sides to achieve a common understanding.

In a student teacher relationship, the teacher is both source and mediator.

The teacher’s metaphor is the intermediary, allowing an abstract concept to be translated into one that can be grasped.

The teacher’s goal is to create a series of stepping stones to accommodate the student’s intellectual stride, leading him deeper and deeper into the concept.

The metaphor then, is equal parts “light” the teacher’s concept, and “container” language that makes the ideas accessible to the student.

In describing the wisdom of King Solomon the verse states “And he grew wiser than all men… and he spoke three thousand metaphors.”

At first glance, we might think that this description of Solomon’s abilities reflect his fertile imagination rather than any real wisdom.

But the metaphor is far more than an entertaining way to convey an idea, it is the translation of a concept into a lower level of intellectual discourse.

The greatness of Solomon’s wisdom lay in the fact that he could take the most profound sublime thoughts and bring them to life for minds far less developed – three thousand steps less developed – than his own.

This in turn enables the recipients to retrace the steps one by one until they can achieve the original high level of discourse.

Solomon’s wisdom is itself a metaphor for the sort of wisdom that went into G-d’s creation of our physical world.

After the radical “jump” from a non-existential reality to an existential one, G-d began creating all existences in their most spiritual sublime forms.

He then caused them to develop in many stages ultimately producing our physical world, the most tangible embodiment of G-d’s created realities.

Every material element or force is actually a physical manifestation of a higher more spiritual one; water for example, is the physical embodiment of love and kindness, while fire represents the physical dimension of power.

But as the properties of the world become more tangible, they also become farther removed from their Divine source.

With each progressive step downward, more of each objects Divine “light” is concealed while more of its “container” is revealed, just as the essence of a complete idea may be diluted as it is translated into the concrete and specific words of speech or writing.

In our universe, this process has reached the point where everyone is able to experience the “containers” but very few can glimpse even a hint of the “light” within.

We can see or read the words on paper but we don’t always sense the ideas they represent.

And yet this is precisely what G-d wants: that our “dark” and “lowly” world obscure its connection to the Divine, so that man, out of his own free will, would choose to peel back the successive layers of the container to reveal the light.

And to facilitate the process G-d creates different steps along the way, a ladder by which man can climb ever upward and unite with his Creator.

Practice and Theory

There is a danger however to this cosmic metaphorical structure.

Just as a student may see the metaphor as an end in itself, failing to realize that is only a representation of a far deeper idea, we too may fall short, believing the trivial elements of our material world to be ends in themselves.

The master teacher, therefore, will allow a word, a gesture, or an inflection to slip through the layers of metaphor, giving the alert student an occasional glimmer of the more sublime concept that lies within.

Similarly, G-d did not create our existence as an “airtight” reality.

Even a person who is totally focused on the material world will catch a glimpse of a greater reality, for G-d always allows at least a pinpoint of light to escape its container.

Unexpectedly, we might have a certain experience that rings a bell of a higher truth in our ears. It is up to each of us to recognize and act upon that bell, to find the means to unite with Divine.

To this end, we have the Bible – the ultimate metaphor, for it is G-d’s pure wisdom manifested in a language that we are allowed to comprehend.

By studying the Bible we unite with G-d’s wisdom; and by performing the commandments instructed therein, we actualize G-d’s will.

This is the means by which we take the first solid steps towards unity with G-dliness, by which we can cross the divide between our limited reality and G-d’s infinite reality.

The first step is to acknowledge the need for such unity, which means understanding how the two realms came into being.

Light, with all its paradoxical qualities, is our best metaphor for understanding the process of creation.

We speak of “enlightenment” that dispels the darkness of ignorance, of a “ray of hope” penetrating the blackness of despair, of a “Divine light” that bathes the soul in virtue.

By contemplating the paradox of light – that it is clearly real and yet appears to have no substance or shape – we can approach an even greater paradox: the unity of our physical universe with the “universe” of G-dliness.

The mysterious qualities of light illustrate the main truth of our physical universe: that an existence must be defined not only in terms of its own being, but as a means to illuminate a higher truth.

Light becomes both a pure expression of G-d and the metaphor that, through our reason and other faculties allows us to experience the ways of G-d.

This Divine light begins as a pure light reflecting G-d’s essence, and then manifests itself as two forms of energy: infinite light, and a finite light that can be confined in a finite existence.

Even as this second light is compressed into the containers that define our existence, it retains its supernal transcendent quality, always reflecting the essence of its source.

From G-d’s perspective, the container and the light are two forms of the same Divine energy.

But from our perspective, they appear as distinct even opposing forces.

Within ourselves, we see this difference as the split between body and soul.

This tension can only be relieved by reuniting the light with the container, by reuniting our body and soul, and that requires introducing a third higher dimension: G-d.

When the soul unites with the body, it is finally empowered with the ability to carry out its mission in the physical world.

Since each element in our universe reflects another shade of the Divine, when we unite our own body and soul, we create a unity that begins to spread throughout the entire world.

This is the challenge that faces each of us: to reunite with G-d, first by recognizing the transcendent soul within our own bodies, then by recognizing that G-d is above and beyond us, and finally by integrating G-d into our lives.

As we raise our sensitivity to the spiritual forces within us, we learn to love and blend with others in a way that does not compromise anyone.

Together with appreciating the differences between people, we learn to see the common threads that tie us together.

Instead of looking at the world selfishly, we learn to see more deeply within ourselves and discover the light within, which in turn allows us to bring out the harmony in the diverse sprawl of humankind.

This unity carries over into everything we do.

The food we eat becomes fuel to help the soul carry out its Divine mission.

The people we meet become opportunities to perform good deeds.

By looking at each action and material object as a stepping-stone towards a more spiritual place we move ever closer to the underlying source of our world, to revealing the light in the containers.

Thus we unite with G-dlines on both our terms and His.

You practice virtue and kindness in a way that emulates G-d’s virtue and kindness.

You use your mind to express G-d’s wisdom.

Everything you do becomes a metaphor for revealing G-d’s light.

And that is true unity.

Chapter 5 How Can We Unite With G-d In Our Generation?

Wisdom

History itself is testimony to man’s search for unity.

With the explosion of knowledge in the last few centuries and the proliferation of technology that has followed, we have become more familiar with the inner workings of our material world.

Indeed, the world has grown so small that we now call it a “global village.”

Science has enabled us to begin
comprehending the unity within the laws of nature, and technology has allowed us to create a unity with on another across the globe.

And yet we are plagued by disunity within.

Marriages fail.

We still treat each other cruelly.

We do not always care for our needy.

This is because of the dichotomy that still exists between ourselves and G-d, because we have not yet arrived at peace with our Creator and the higher ideals and values that such a relationship demands.

Because we have not yet come in total concert with the ultimate unity underlying all: G-d.

Now so long ago, it was accepted as scientific fact that the world was controlled by hundreds of independent forces and elements.

But with advancements in science, it was determined that the atom was the principle building block of all matter, and that matter and energy are actually the same substance, only in different forms.

In the same way, by peeling back the successive layers of the container of our physical world, we can begin to glimpse a unity within.

The “light” and the “container” are being slowly revealed as one and the same.

Isn’t it time then to peel back a few more layers?

Today we have the opportunity to integrate our reality and G-d’s reality, to see how they are really one.

We are all in the position to achieve the ultimate reality: peace between body and soul.

Between our material drives and transcendent yearning.

Between ourselves and G-d.

Never before have we had a better opportunity to communicate so easily and form a unity between man and man, community and community, nation and nation.

Finally, in our generation, we can conclude the process that was begun at the outset of history: bringing peace and unity to all mankind.

Have you ever wondered where heaven meets earth?

The entire process of creation was meant to challenge us with fulfilling this task, with bridging the divide between our reality and G-d’s reality.

By creating unity in your life, you generate a domino effect that ripples throughout the entire cosmic order, uniting forces that have been wrestling with each other for thousands of years.

And this is the most gratifying experience of all.

Our lives become truly meaningful when we know that it is our duty to marry heaven and earth, to fuse the human and the Divine.

So where does heaven meet earth?

Right at your doorstep.
Marriage
When two live unite as one

Chapter 1 Why Get Married?
Practice and Theory

Why?
A wedding ceremony is indeed a joyous occasion.

We see family members and old friends, we eat and drink, we dance and rejoice!

We share in the happiness of the man and the woman who are committing their lives to each other. By why are they getting married in the first place?

Some might answer that a marriage is a contract that binds two people.

But we know that if two people don’t love each other, no contract is strong enough to hold them together.

Why Are Man and Woman Attracted
The real question comes one step before marriage: Why is there such a powerful attraction between man and woman?

Man and Woman are Really One
Because G-d create them as one being and then divided them into two.

As it is written in the Bible, “G-d created man in his image… male and female He created them,” as the sages explain, “a single individual with two faces.”

The Benefit of Union

As an independent individual, a person would be left without companionship, without challenge, and without the potential for growth.

Neither man nor woman would be able to transcend the individuality into which they were born.

So G-d created them as one and divided them into two, two whom can join with each other to become one again.

Man and woman are drawn to each other because individually we feel incomplete; we are searching for our other half, through which we reunite with G-d.

Appreciate The Sanctity Of This Union
So the key to a successful marriage is appreciating its sanctity.

Beyond just uniting a man and woman, marriage must introduce a third dimension – G-d.

The Hebrew words for man and woman both contain the word fire. They also each contain other letters that, when combined, make up G-d’s name.

Man and woman without G-d are like two fires that will consume each other.

When they rise above their own self-contained limitations and introduce the G-dly and holy into their lives, they then can become one, with an unseen hidden bond that makes their unity, their marriage, far greater than the sum of its parts.

Practice and Theory

How Can Two Limited Beings Unite Eternally
Two people may love and care for each other, but without a Divine force, what is to bond temporal human beings eternally?

Such a bond is necessary, for, besides being two strangers with different personalities and backgrounds, a man and woman differ, biologically, emotionally and psychologically and will undergo many transitions in their lives.

The single most important ingredient in creating this lifelong bond is the commitment of husband and wife to G-d and His timeless laws. When man and woman unite under a higher cause this brings their separateness into unity and harmony.

Just as a home needs to be built on a foundation; Husband and wife need to invite G-d into their union by dedicating their lives to eternal values and connecting to a presence higher than their own. This is done by acknowledging G-d who created them as two halves of one soul.

This instills each spouse with a commitment to each other, to their families, to the world around them.

Practice and Theory

The Benefit Of Marriage

The unity created by marriage – the bond between man and woman and G-d – enhances the unity and love in a family’s home.

It will determine how each child grows up and continues to love.

And this unity is necessary for the well-being of each spouse, enabling them to grow both independently and together.

Above all, our marriage – the way a man and woman unite with each other – reflects the way we unite with G-d.

Chapter 2 What Makes A Marriage Work?

Wisdom

Love & Respect to Each Other – Reverence & Responsibility to G-d
Many raw materials go into building a healthy marriage. Love, of course is necessary and so is a sense of awe and respect – the respect that each spouse feels for the other and the awe that both husband and wife feel for G-d.

They must always acknowledge the Divine force that brings them together, and the great responsibility of building a life and home together.

Such awe will weave itself through every aspect of their lives, from the way they keep their home to the way they educate their children.

Vitality

A successful marriage must have vitality.

A union between two living people means that the union itself is alive, and must continually be nurtured and encouraged to grow.

Practice
Trust

A marriage must also abound in trust.

Trust doesn’t come overnight – it takes years to build. But once it is in place it serves as a solid base that will support a marriage through crises.

Practice and Theory

Accountability = Trust

Trust does not come from perfect behavior; it comes from accountability. No one can be expected to be perfect, but a healthy person can be expected to be accountable, to acknowledge an error.

Trust means that your attitude and conduct over time have demonstrated that your spouse can depend on you, that you have the integrity to act properly even when no one but G-d is watching.

Otherwise, there will always be doubt: How can I know that my spouse is truly committed to this marriage?

Practice and Theory
Altruism

A healthy marriage also means building a healthy home together – a home that is not just for your personal comfort, but one that will be a light unto others.

From the outset, the priorities in a marriage must not be on the amount of money spent – for the wedding nor expensive furnishings in a house – but on the commitment to building a home that is guided by the Divine principles of morality and virtue.

Practice and Theory

Small Things Matter

Sometimes it is the small things that matter, that demonstrate to your spouse and to G-d that you are committed.

• Going shopping.

• Cleaning the house.

• Asking if there is anything you can do to help if your spouse’s hands are full.

• When one spouse travels, he or she should bring back a gift for the other.

• Even when you are working on something independent of your home and marriage, you should try to involve your spouse as a constant partner in your life.

Practice and Theory

Cultivate Peace – Communicate – Avoid Verbal Altercation
A crucial and central element in achieving a loving partner in marriage is learning to cultivate peace at home, learning to communicate and avoiding the verbal altercations that will arise in any marriage.

Get Around An Argument – Reconcile – Learn How To Cope In Difficult Times

Learn how to get around an argument, how to reconcile, how to cope when things aren’t going well.

Your Spouse Is Your Other Half So Their Troubles Are Yours

Whenever one spouse is having trouble, the other should remember that they are two halves of the same soul.

Neglecting your spouse is the same as neglecting yourself, or neglecting G-d.

Practice and Theory

No Magic Formulas

There are no magic formulas in handling problems within a marriage, of course.

Mutual Effort

It depends on the mutual effort put in by both spouses, husband and wife.

Preserving the Marriage Is A Necessity
First of all, both spouses must understand that preserving the marriage, a sanctified union is an absolute necessity for which they carry equal responsibilities.

Mutual Space

We must also understand that a happy marriage cannot be built on one person’s terms.

Individuality is enhanced, not obliterated, by true love.

It may be tempting to always have things your way, but love and respect are nurtured by acknowledging the wants and needs of a spouse.

Acknowledging Your Responsibility to G-d = Respecting Your Spouse

Such selflessness can only come from recognizing G-d in your life. This enables you to consider your spouse’s space as sacred as your own.

Practice and Theory

Resolving Problems By Accepting Responsibility
A Husband and Wife must also have a mutual commitment to resolving problems by accepting their responsibility to make their sacred marriage work.

Communication And Acknowledgment
This can only occur when both spouses learn to communicate openly and acknowledge their role in a problem.

Your Spouses Concerns are Yours

Each spouse must respect the other’s concerns, no matter how minor they may seem.

Big Problems Come From Unresolved Small Ones

No problem should be allowed to linger unresolved too long.

Practice and Theory

Diffusing Anger

Sometimes a conflict can be avoided by not responding in kind to a spouse’s anger.

When one spouse gets angry, the other often reciprocates in kind without thinking, allowing a spark to flare into a raging fire.

It is best to address the other’s concerns patiently, or to avoid discussing them until the temporary state of anger dissipates.

Dealing With Abusive Temperaments

No one has the right to infringe in any way – psychologically, emotionally, or physically – on another person’s space.

Under no circumstance can such abuse be tolerated.

An abusive person must be responsible for getting help; If necessary, those subject to the abuse must insist on it, and enlist others to ensure that the problem is dealt with.

Practice and Theory

Criticism doesn’t Work
Criticism doesn’t work in a marriage.

Invalidation of your spouse will only aggravate any problem.

Correcting Faults or Ignoring Them
When you see something in your spouse that you feel needs correction, broach it gently, with love and concern.

If your spouse has a blind spot in a certain area, you just might have to adjust and learn to smile at it.

None of us are without our faults.

It is not your job to determine what is best for your spouse; even though a husband and wife are constantly teaching each other, they are not each other’s teachers or authority figures.

They are each other’s closest friends – equal friends.

Practice and Theory

Be Careful Who Gets Involved In Your Marriage
If a dispute does arise between spouses, it is often better not to get family members involved.

Relatives may mean well, but because of their subjectivity they tend to take sides and exacerbate the problem.

A friend can often be more helpful, although it is sometimes a so-called friend who instigates a conflict whether by exaggeration or just plain gossip.

If this is the case, it might be best to distance yourself from the situation that incites such discord.

Practice and Theory

Consulting Someone Who Can Assist
If you cannot reconcile differences no matter how hard you try, it is best to consult confidentially a third party who you both trust.

Be sure that this person will not incite further bad feelings, that he is genuinely concerned with you and your marriage.

Practice and Theory

Compromise
When dealing with a disagreement it is important to compromise, to not allow your pride to stand in the way.

Many of us feel we will look weak if we take the initiative to reconcile, but doing so is a sign of true strength.

Practice and Theory

Your Marriage Affects The Entire Cosmos

Above all, a healthy marriage necessitates that the wife and husband must always remember their duty to their third partner, G-d.

Their marriage is not a private affair. It affects the entire cosmic destiny.

Both husband and wife must invite G-d into their marriage, not as a guest but as a constant partner.

Practice and Theory

Having Children
This includes the fulfillment of the Commandment and blessing that man was given upon his creation: “Be fruitful and multiply.”

This is a critical component in a successful marriage.

The ability to reproduce is part of our physiological and psychological makeup, and is necessary for our well-being!

We should not tamper with or second-guess G-d, who blesses us with the ability to bear children.

With every child to whom we give birth, G-d blesses us with the strength and resources to sustain, care for, and nurture this child.

There may indeed be the fears that result from living in a dysfunctional environment, in which there are many ways for a child to be hurt.

But one wrong doesn’t justify another – the wrong of not choosing to bear children.

Having children defines and crystallizes the priorities of a marriage – indeed, of life in general – and raising children is the most challenging, profound, and gratifying goal that a man and woman can hope to achieve together.

It eternally bonds them to each other, to their family and above all to G-d.

Chapter 3 How Should We Prepare For Marriage?

Wisdom

Understanding The Purpose Of Marriage Before Getting Married

Why have we recently been experiencing such unprecedented levels of troubled marriages and of divorce?

Because the G-dly dimension is missing from many marriages today.

As many short-term situations as there may be to keep a marriage together, it cannot be truly healthy unless its roots are solid.

Our Sages refer to marriage as mans second birth. First the soul enters into the body and assumes a physical existence; when a person marries, the soul moves even deeper into the physical state.

Although man’s mission in life includes the positive developments of the physical world, one must be equipped with the spiritual vision and fortitude to carry out such a mission with the proper perspective.

Wisdom

Spiritually Preparing For Marriage

In preparation for marriage, a person must devote special time to spiritual and G-dly pursuits, and to learning about the deeper significance of marriage.

This period before marriage is crucial, for marriage itself demands that we immerse ourselves in the most material aspects of our physical world – providing for our family, caring for a home, building a career.

By attuning ourselves spiritually before marriage, we lay a strong foundation for our home and marriage.

Wisdom

Getting To Know Your Soul

A successful marriage begins long before the ceremony; it begins with both the man and the woman individually recognizing G-d in their lives.

This means educating and preparing yourself in the formative years before marriage.

For a marriage to be successful we first need to recognize who we are – that we are a soul within a body.

When you are peace with yourself, when your body and soul are attuned to each other in fulfilling your life’s mission, you are then in a stronger position to find your proper soul mate.

When you don’t yet know who you are, how can you possibly know what sort of person will be best for you to marry?

Wisdom

Finding Your Mate

The soul feeling incomplete demands that we go out and search for its other half.

We may be confused and distracted by our physical and emotional attraction to the opposite sex.

But this focus should not be the sole focus of our search; it is only the soul’s yearning to be complete.

This attraction then becomes positive in cultivating a relationship.

G-d blesses you in the endeavor of finding your mate.

Still, as in all matters, you must take the initiative, it is your responsibility to seek out a person with whom you will be compatible in every way.

Wisdom
What To Seek

The emphasis on finding a mate cannot only be on the external, superficial elements, which well may conflict with the search for the deeper compatibility that is necessary in a serious relationship.

It is far more important to know how another person feels about G-d, to know how he or she feels about higher goals and objectives, things that will truly be important in your life and marriage.

Wisdom

Cold Feet

It is only natural to have doubts and confusion when considering whom to marry.

These doubts should not be seen as an obstacle, but as a healthy and open part of the process.

Being Worthy of The Blessing Of a Spouse

Often, G-d waits to send you the blessing of an appropriate mate until you are ready to receive it by sincerely devoting yourself to spiritual growth, rather than just to your career or social life.

Wisdom

Preparing Spiritually

Preparing for marriage should be seen as a great opportunity for spiritual and personal growth. For a new beginning.

It is a time to get to know your own soul and the soul of your future spouse, to build the proper spiritual foundation with which to go into marriage.

We spend so much time planning the details of the marriage ceremony itself that we often overlook the spiritual preparation, even though it is far more important.

Practice and Theory

Meeting the Future In Laws To See If Their Values are Kosher

Since marriage is such a comprehensive union, it is best that a man and woman get to know each other’s families before deciding to marry, since it is our families who help build and define our value systems.

Practice and Theory

The Wedding

There is no need for the wedding to be overly extravagant.

Yes, it should be beautiful, but the sight of a man and woman committing their lives to each other and to G-d is in itself more beautiful than the most expensive trappings.

It is also appropriate for the bride and groom to give some money to charity on their wedding day; And for the parents to do the same.

This sets the tone of a giving and gracious relationship, and directs G-d’s blessings to the new couple.

Chapter 4 What About Divorce?

Practice and Theory

The Last Resort

G-d created the institution of marriage to allow a man and woman to unite eternally.

Because of the demands of our physical world and because of the intricacies in any relationship between two people, there will surely be obstacles to overcome in any marriage.

We must address these with the most vigor, patience, and fortitude that we can muster, for a marriage is meant to be in the words of the sages “an eternal edifice!”

Divorce should only be considered an absolute last resort, if a couple has exhausted every possibility of reconciliation, and if they and those they trust have decided that it is the only remaining option.

Practice and Theory
Recommitting Ourselves To See The Underlying Factors That Build Relationships

We must see this time of rampant divorce as a signal from heaven to firmly address the root causes.

Let us decide to acknowledge the need for G-d in our marriages.

Let us commit to making our marriages Divine, to making our family’s home a place that helps fulfill our G-dly mission on earth.

Wisdom

Take your marriage seriously!

Remember how we marry and cultivate our marriage determines not just our personal welfare, but the welfare of our children our grandchildren and generations well beyond them.

Take your marriage seriously!

It is not just a commitment between you and your spouse rather between you, your spouse, and G-d.

Such a unity, done properly, gives off a radiance that lights up the entire cosmos.

A Story

A young woman was discussing with the Rebbe some prospective matches that had been suggested to her, and she explained why none of them appealed to her.

The Rebbe smiled, “You have read to many romance novels” he replied “love is not the overwhelming, blinding emotion we find in the world of fiction.

Real love is an emotion that intensifies throughout life.

It is the small everyday acts of being together that make love flourish.

It is sharing and caring and respecting each other.

It is building a life together, a family and a home.

As two lives unite to form one, over time, there is a point where each partner feels a part of the other, where each partner can no longer visualize life without the other at her or his side.”
Intimacy
The Sanctity of Sexuality

Chapter 1 What Are Sexuality And Intimacy?

Wisdom
What is Intimacy?

In regard to intimacy, we live in a time of crises. Everyone craves intimacy, and everyone is searching for intimacy, yet it has become an area of great conflict and confusion.

Wisdom

Society’s standards of sexuality and intimacy have changed greatly since the so called “sexual revolution.” Ours is now a society bombarded by sexual thought and imagery; sexual boundaries have been blurred.

Wisdom

It is obviously an appropriate time to review our attitude towards intimacy and sexuality.

What is sexuality exactly, and what is the power behind its mystique? What deeper meaning does it have in our lives? Are intimacy and sexuality one and the same?

The “sexual revolution” supposedly set people free; are you free, or are you enslaved more than ever to your desires, more confused than ever by shifting standards?

Wisdom

Sexuality is an internal, G-dly energy, a meeting of body and soul, that is nourished by true intimacy, by modesty and subtlety.

Wisdom
Sexuality Can Only Flourish In Marriage

Sexuality can only flourish healthily in the context of the sacred institution of marriage.

Wisdom
The Body and Soul Of Sexuality

Sexuality itself possesses both a body and a soul, a physical and spiritual dimension.

Its body is the union of human bodies, accompanied by the deepest of physical pleasures.

Its soul is the union with G-dliness, accompanied by the deepest of spiritual pleasures.

Wisdom

When sexuality’s spiritual nature is removed or ignored, it can become and irrational obsession that consumes an individual.

Wisdom
Sexuality is among the most potent forces in life.

It can either lift us to the greatest heights of self-sacrifice and commitment, or lower us into the depth of self-interest and demoralization.

Sexuality is never neutral.

Wisdom

The irony is that focusing on sexuality is its undoing.

Wisdom

Sexuality divorced of its intimate nature loses its true meaning, its dignity, its majesty.

Wisdom

This is where sexuality and intimacy diverge.

Intimacy does not equal sexuality; it is a special state, separate from all else in our lives, that must be approached with gentleness and awe.

In the Bible, sexuality is called “knowledge,” for it involves intimate knowledge shared by two people.

When sexuality loses its intimacy and is seen in the same light as our other bodily needs, it becomes basic hedonism, little more than a technical and biological function.

Wisdom

Because human beings tend to define things in physical terms, using only our sensory tools instead of our spiritual tools, we often ignore sexuality’s spiritual component.

Its powerful hold on man becomes a purely physical hold, defined individually by each person.

Only by understanding the soul of sexuality, which is healthy intimacy, can we uncover the root of its power and passion.

Wisdom

A young woman came to see a Rabbi, saying she was having difficulty finding a mate.

The Rabbi suggested that she concentrate on communicating verbally with her prospective mates, in order to see if they were truly compatible, and to avoid any intimacy. “But in today’s society, that’s unrealistic” the woman responded.

The Rabbi sighed and said quietly “intimacy is like fire; When you think you will quench it by indulging it, you quickly realize that your pouring gasoline, not water, on the fire.

However, when intimacy is experienced with discipline, within the context of a sanctified marriage, it becomes a healthy fire that warms both people and illuminates their home and family.”

Chapter 2 Why is Sexuality So Powerful?
Wisdom
Why sexuality is so powerful!?

When G-d created man and woman, they were one human in the image of one G-d; then they were separated into two distinct parts.

Practice

Therefore, as is written in Genesis “a man shall leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they shall become one body.”

Wisdom

Man and woman constantly feel this need to reunite. And sexuality is this union.

Wisdom

Man and woman seek to become “one flesh” thereby uniting with G-d, in whose image they were created.

Wisdom

No wonder such intimacy is such a powerful force: It is the only experience in human life in which we come face to face with G-d.

Wisdom

Intimacy is also the only experience in life that allows us to become truly G-dlike in that it empowers a husband and wife to create.

Wisdom

Nothing else we do as human is as G-dlike as creating new life, which in turn can create other lives, on and on, eternally.

Wisdom

This G-dly nature is what gives sexuality its mystique, is it the one opportunity man has to “taste” G-d – to create as he creates.

Practice and Theory

The Vulnerability of Intimacy

In addition, intimacy is a celebration of vulnerability, it touches the softest spot in each person, the most private and fragile part of a human being.

Therefore, we must cultivate a healthy environment for our intimacy, one that allows us to appreciate and revel in this vulnerability, secure and protected.

Practice and Theory

Most of us desire true intimacy, but we are afraid to experience true vulnerability, to lose control.

Wisdom

But this makes it difficult to ever experience true intimacy, for being comfortable with your vulnerability is the ultimate intimacy.

Practice and Theory

The illusion of intimacy – where each person is getting what he or she needs – only makes people feel good at the moment, if at all.

If they are still in control at the end, if they have not exposed their vulnerability, then their “intimacy” was just another form of exercising control over another person.

Practice and Theory

When we learn to see the G-dliness in each other, we can begin to trust, and reach beyond our own self-contained distrusting selves and to experience real love and intimacy. We then can choose to let go and be vulnerable to be ourselves without putting up our defenses without fear of abuse.

Practice and Theory

Freedom to choose the direction of Intimacy

As with all matters we have been given a choice. We can be distracted and misled by the physical passion of intimacy, pursuing it only to satisfy our selfish needs, which then drives man and woman apart.

Or we can understand sexuality and intimacy as the truly meaningful forces that they are, as the means to connect with G-d in the most powerful, sublime manner, which in turn unites man and woman.

Chapter 3 How Do We Experience Healthy Intimacy?

Practice and Theory

Healthy Intimacy – Discipline and Sanctity

Healthy intimacy requires two ingredients: discipline and sanctification.

We must exercise self-control and we must also see sexuality as sacred.

Practice and Theory

One must approach the sanctity of sexuality with awe, like entering into the Holy of Holies, where every action counts, where any blemish is intolerable.

Practice and Theory

We must experience sexuality in a controlled environment with appropriate boundaries – not to dampen the expressions of love, but to channel the powerful physical energies into healthy passions.

Wisdom

In modern society, sexuality often involves two people who are each interested in only satisfying their own needs.

Wisdom

Sexuality is meant to be transcendental not indulgent; allowing you to let another person into your soul so you can build something greater together.

Practice and Theory

Only by introducing G-d into the relationship can a man and woman overcome their individual desires, and marriage is the only perfect environment in which to do so. In all other environments intimacy is unhealthy and harmful.

Wisdom

How often are we victims of our own sexuality, allowing our unchecked needs and desires to control our decisions?

How often do we use sexuality to distract ourselves from existential pain, mistakenly believing we can remedy a deep-seated problem with a superficial solution?

Wisdom

Untamed Sex is Unhealthy

The key to healthy intimacy is to stop the vicious cycle of untamed sexuality, for the more you feed it the hungrier it grows.

Discipline and subtlety direct these into a healthy and growthful experience.

Practice and Theory

The argument that one must first try living with another person before deciding whether to marry is not valid.

When sexuality is experienced in an inappropriate manner, it only hampers our ability to achieve true intimacy when the time is right.

Practice

If you are close when you should be distant, you will be distant when you should be close.

Practice

The benefit of Healthy Intimacy

When intimacy is experienced properly, we achieve a closeness that flows into the rest of our lives and introduces sanctity and unity into all that we do.

Wisdom

Intimacy is an integral part of our lives and cannot be compartmentalized.

Practice

Intimacy is a part of building a home and family, a full and complete life.

Practice and Theory

Modesty in Intimacy

Healthy intimacy must also be modest. By definition intimacy is quiet and discreet.

Wisdom

Upon their creation, man and woman, “were both naked but they were not ashamed (of their nakedness.)” They were as innocent as children. Seeing sexuality only as a part of G-d’s creation and designed to serve a sacred function. But after they transgressed and ate from the Tree of Knowledge, they lost their innocence: “The eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized that they were naked.” They experienced a healthy shame stemming from modesty, and they covered themselves.

Wisdom

Ideally, we would all be as innocent as children. Sexuality would flow from a healthy spirit and soul. We would learn about healthy intimacy simply by being around our healthy parents and grandparents.

Wisdom

In these turbulent times, such lessons are not so easily gained, and this concept of modesty must be articulated.

Practice and Theory

Young people today are more than willing to be taught an alternative to our current standards, but they are caught in a whirlwind of peer pressure.

It is the responsibility of teachers, parents and every sort of leader to teach them about the sanctity of sexuality.

Practice

We must strive to realize that true intimacy, the authentic dignity of a human being, shines from within.

Wisdom

What kind of message is being sent by someone who dresses provocatively or who speaks of sexuality without the proper respect? Such overt sexuality only promotes sexists attitudes that further distort how we look at our fellow human beings.

Wisdom

True beauty, one that commands both love and respect is inner beauty.

Wisdom

Inappropriate Expressions of Libidal Gratification
It is true, especially in contemporary times, that people don’t want anyone to impose restrictions on their sexuality. But not all forms of sexual behavior are acceptable.

Practice

The sanctity of sexuality obviously requires behavior that follows the Divine laws of our creator, laws that do not ask us to deny sexuality but to experience it in healthy and intimate form that we will only enhance human growth and progress, and break the chains of enslavement to one’s passions that ultimately leads to societal decadence.

Wisdom

The fact that we live in a society that is largely unfamiliar with healthy sexuality does not change this truth.

Wisdom

And even if a particular aberrant sexual desire were thought of to be genetic for instance, it should not be condoned, for much of our very existence is concerned with properly channeling our natural desires.

Wisdom

Establishing a standard of behavior should not be caused to invalidate one who does not live by it; these standards – which are uncomprimisable –are meant to give us clarity and the ability to improve our behavior.

Wisdom

Discussing and Teaching Intimacy

G-d’s standard for human sexuality is what is best for each of us, and we must not be afraid to teach these ideals.

Wisdom

As with communicating all serious matters of truth, we must do so sensitively, speaking with genuine love and concern, but also with discipline; in a manner and language that emphasizes the positive, and motivates one to grow.

Wisdom

The current crises surrounding sexuality in our society must be seen as an opportunity to explore its importance.

Wisdom

During recent years, we have clearly witnessed that immodest sexual behavior does nothing to cultivate true intimacy.

It only destroys respect for the individual and for home and family.

But we have also begun to see a growing consciousness that puts more emphasis on communication, both intellectually and emotionally, than on promiscuous sexual behavior, and that is clearly a step in the right direction.

Practice and Theory

The time has come to reclaim our sexuality and intimacy, to return them to the context of marriage, home and family.

Practice and Theory

The time has come to reintroduce G-d into our intimate lives, to return to our original intimacy with our creator.

Practice

This would be a true “sexual revolution.” Take this responsibility seriously. An entire world – beginning with your own small world – hangs in the balance.

Practice

The Rebbe was once asked his opinion concerning sex education in the schools.

“Discussing such an issue does help resolve a problem” the Rebbe answered “but as the Sages tell us, the more you discus sexuality the more you instigate it. Therefore, great care must be taken in this area. It should be done by sensitive professionals who will avoid any provocative expressions or associations. It should be discussed privately with a student or at most with two or three students, and it should be discussed separately with boys and girls to keep the boundaries clear.”
Love
The Purest Expression of the Soul
Chapter 1 What is love?

Wisdom
Love

Love, one of our most oft used words, remains an enigma.

There may have been more written about love than about any other subject, yet it remains intangible.

Wisdom

Love is the single most necessary ingredient in human life.

Wisdom

It is both giving and receiving, it allows us to experience another person and lets that person experience us.

Wisdom

Love is the origin and foundation of all human interaction.

Wisdom

To live a meaningful life, we must learn more about love and how to bring it into our lives.

Wisdom

Possible reasons for Love

At first glance, we might think that we need love in the same way that we need to eat and drink, to breath and sleep.

We know that love fills our need to be cared for, our need for intimacy.

So often we pursue love in a manner that is narcissistic and indulgent – we look for someone who will love us because we crave it.

Wisdom

We may want to love someone so we can feel good about ourselves.

Wisdom

Why is love elusive?

If love is just another need like food and water, why is it so elusive?

Why is attaining love difficult for so many people?

And when we do find it, it doesn’t come easily, it always comes with some pain and frustration.

Wisdom

We may succeed at love for a time but when we fail the pain is intense.

Wisdom

The true reason for love

These are the obstacles we face when we look at love as just another of our bodily needs.

Yes we do need love just as we need food and water, but there is a difference.

Food and water are elements of the earth that sustain our physical bodies, whereas love is the language of G-d, which sustains our souls.

Wisdom

True Love

True love bears little resemblance to the love we read about in novels and hear about in songs.

True love is transcendental, linking our physical selves to G-d and, therefore, to everyone else around us.

Wisdom

Usually we look at love from a selfish standpoint namely it is something that “I want and need” but true love linked to G-d is actually selfless.

Wisdom

One of our most fundamental principles is “Love your friend as yourself.”

Wisdom

How can this be possible – don’t we love ourselves more than we can love anything else?

The answer lies in the fact that true, selfless love stems not from the body, but from the soul.

Wisdom

Love is the dominance of spirit over matter, the soul over the body.

Wisdom
Soul-Love

By the definition of materialism, two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously.

But the soul transcends time and space, and it also transcends narcissism, making it possible to truly share yourself with another person.

Wisdom

The essence of Judaism

The sage Hillel says, “Do not do onto others that which you do not want them to do to you. This is the entire Torah and the rest is commentary.”

Wisdom

True love is knowing that you are in essence your soul, which is a part of G-d, and as all souls all come from the one G-d, hence we are literally all one.

Wisdom

The wisdom of G-d is intended to do one thing: to teach us how to love, to transcend our material boundaries and reach a more spiritual place.

Wisdom

Love connects you to G-d

Love is a way of talking to G-d. When you look into someone’s eyes and love that person, you are transcending the physical world and connecting to G-d.

Wisdom

Love is a G-dly act, the purest way to feed another person’s soul as well as your own.

Wisdom

The deepest love is not merely human.

It is a love infused with G-dliness. Whereby a mortal kiss is transformed into an immortal one.

Wisdom

True love is one soul greeting another.

Chapter 2 Why Do We Need Love?

Wisdom

We Are Looking For Our Source

In a sense we have all wandered away from our true selves.

Birth is the beginning of our soul’s journey, sent off from its Divine source to live in an unnatural state, a land of materialism.

Throughout our lives, therefore, we crave to be reunited with our real selves.

We search for our soul. For the G-dly spark within ourselves.

We long to reconnect to our source.

Wisdom

Many of us don’t realize that what we call love is actually a search for G-d.

The urgent need we are expressing when we say “I need to be cared for” or “I need intimacy” is really the need to transcend our physical selves and to connect to our souls.

Wisdom

In a sense loving another person should be the same as loving G-d, and vice versa.

Wisdom

A person who can love G-d but cannot love a human being is not really loving G-d. And a person who loves another person but has no love for G-d will ultimately discover that what he calls love is conditional and selfish, which means that it is not truly love at all.

Wisdom

Selfish Conditional Love VS. Selfless Unconditional Love

The two types of love – selfish love and selfless love – are diametrically opposed.

Selfish love is condition love; you love on the condition that your needs will be met, and if the person you have chosen to love doesn’t serve your needs, you reject that person and search elsewhere.

Although it may seem beautiful for a time, selfish love is bound to be mercurial. When the person you love wants help. You may give it. But once the price becomes too high, if you feel you are giving more than you are receiving, you may simply stop loving. After all there is only so much discomfort that you may be willing to tolerate for another person.

Wisdom

Selfless love means rising above your own needs.

Wisdom
When love is transcendental you are reaching a higher place; you are reaching for G-d.

Wisdom

There are no conditions for such selfless love; when transcendence is the focus of our love, we do not constantly redefine our wants and needs.

Conditional, selfish love dissipates when its conditions are not met, but unconditional, selfless love is constant and eternal.

Wisdom

Conditional love all too often means the obliteration or subjugation of one individual; instead of two becoming one, the love of the more dominant person consumes the other.

Unconditional love, though, the love of transcendence, enables you to put aside your selfish desires and love that person accordingly.

Wisdom

Conditional love does not encourage growth, for it is simply a temporary need being fulfilled.

Just as you need to eat again a few hours after a meal, someone who loves conditionally will constantly need more helpings of assurance, caring and acceptance.

But unconditional love is the foundation of human growth.

Wisdom

Conditional love is compartmentalized in your life; unconditional love is an integral part of your entire existence.

And finally, it is the tool by which we learn to experience the highest reality: G-d.

Theory and Practice

Love, therefore, is the foundation on which our entire world is built.

All of our laws, all of our attitudes, all of our interactions stem from the same principle.

Love, is the root of all civility and morality.

Without love, it would be impossible to live in peace with one another, to respect one another’s needs, and to treat everyone with the same compassion that we would like to be given ourselves.

Chapter 3 How Do We Achieve Such Selfless Love?

Wisdom
The Vulnerability of True Love

Initially it may seem terrifying to embrace selfless love.

It is easier and safer to love on your own terms.

Selfless love, on the other hand, creates risk and vulnerability.

But we must learn to celebrate this newfound vulnerability, for that is precisely what makes true love so gratifying – the prospect of sharing your soul with another person.

Wisdom

Most of us are ready to love but we have learned not to trust other people, sometimes with good reason.

Wisdom

The only way to let go, to become vulnerable again, to open yourself to the possibilities of true love, is to trust G-d and the G-dliness within the person that you love.

Practice
Learning to love yourself

To achieve selfless love, you must first learn to love yourself, to create harmony between your own body and soul.

Practice

This means understanding who you really are and what you have been put on this earth to accomplish.

It means being comfortable with your calling and not looking for distractions.

If you are in conflict with yourself, how can you expect to reach a comfortable love with another person?

Wisdom

Learning to love yourself can be difficult.

Practice

Initially the ego cannot coexist with G-d.

You are either pursuing your own agenda or G-d’s; you see yourself as either a self-made, self-contained being, or as a being created in the image of G-d.

In order to grow, you must learn to suspend your ego, to empty yourself and make room for something greater than yourself.

Wisdom

If you don’t find a way to love G-d, to love the G-d that resides within your soul, you will find yourself in a constant search for love.

We may even turn to unhealthy forms of love to replace this lack of inner love.

Wisdom
How People Learn To Love

This is why we don’t begin our lives searching for love.

As children, we learn first to receive love from our parents, from our siblings, from our environment.

Only when we mature can we begin to look for love from a stranger, someone who will become a lifelong partner in marriage.

Wisdom

The love between a married couple, the love among family members, and the love between friends are all different of course.

But what do they have in common?

They reflect the love between man and G-d.

And how do we learn such love?

We learn it as children, by watching our parents, our families, our teachers.

For a child to grow into a loving adult, he must receive love and constantly see acts of love.

Wisdom

A child must also learn to appreciate every other human being and every aspect of our existence on earth.

Wisdom

Every person and everything that exists is a creation of G-d which, something we all share in common.

Wisdom

Every single thing on earth is worthy of our awareness and respect.

Every person is like a diamond.

While a diamond may appear soiled, beneath the surface lies a beauty and grace that are unequaled.

It is precious regardless of how it looks on the outside, regardless of its surroundings.

We should treat each person that we meet accordingly – as a diamond.

Practice and Theory

We must respect each person’s innate value and totally dedicate ourselves to helping him by whatever means necessary.

If his outer layer appears soiled, we should encourage him to clean himself.

If his edges seem rough, we should help educate and empower him to polish himself, by accessing his inner resources.

This is the true idea of love – to appreciate each person no matter what or where he is, and to help that person become the best person they can possibly become.

As the sages say, “The sins should be erased but not the sinner.”

Practice and Theory
It is not important to love every single thing that a person does, but it is important to love the person unconditionally.

Practice and Theory

You don’t have to accept another person’s choices and you don’t have to teach your children those choices, but you must accept that person. At the same time you don’t have to feel afraid to act specially, uniquely, Jewishly.

Practice and Theory

Even if you reject the philosophy of a particular group or individual you mustn’t reject the group or the person.

Wisdom

Love is Sensitivity

Love is not smothering someone with what you think is good for him; love is appreciating a person’s individuality.

Practice and Theory

Love requires the ultimate sensitivity to every person, beginning with your own family and extending into the world at large.

That means transcending our narrow vision and learning to love everyone, regardless of his or her background, education, personality or temperament.

Practice and Theory

Love and Discipline

Such a selfless healthy love must include a degree of education and discipline.

This is true both on the personal level and on the community level, for both children and adults.

Practice

It is not enough to love someone and then leave him alone when he is doing something harmful to himself or others.

Practice and Theory

Love does not mean compromising higher standards.

Practice

A parent is not truly loving his or her child when out of so called love he does not want to discipline the child for doing something wrong or harmful.

Wisdom

Above all love is a force for good.

Wisdom
Love and Unity

Love is the means by which human beings achieve cosmic unity, the unity between one another, G-d and the universe.

Wisdom

So the next person you see, whether it is a stranger or your spouse, do something gracious in the name of love.

Practice and Theory

Introduce love in you life not just on your own terms but beyond your present boundaries.

Practice and Theory

Learn to love your family in a new way.

Love your family not only because they are your flesh and blood but because they are G-d’s children.

Before putting your children to sleep, give them a new kind of kiss, one filled with the fire of your G-dly soul.

Talk to them about love and how to care for one another.

You will see how this new awareness of love carries over into everything that you do.

Wisdom

From a technological standpoint, we are now living in an age of unprecedented unity.

And yet our personal connections are more frayed than ever.

Let us embrace unconditional love and make it the call of our generation.

Let us love one another, to create unity between man and man, between man and G-d.

Let us see our technological unity as an opportunity to introduce love to everyone – first within ourselves, then in our families, our communities, our nations, and finally the entire world.

Let us usher in the day when there will be neither envy nor strife, when love and unity abound.
Women and men
Uniting Forces

Chapter 1 Are Women and Men Equal?
The Genders
Wisdom

Will the struggle ever end, or are men and women destined for perpetual conflict?

What are the roots of this strife?

And most importantly what are the unique roles of a man and woman?

These questions are compelling, for how we define ourselves as man or woman greatly determines who we are and how we live our lives.

Wisdom

How we identify with our gender lies at the very core of a person’s essence.

Wisdom

Contemporary society is just beginning to delve into the true distinctions between men and women.

Besides the obvious physiological difference, there is also differences in the way men and women think, speak and behave.

Some of this is due to social conditioning but some can also be traced to the inherent characteristics of each gender.

Wisdom

Great is the challenge today for men and women to be internally honest about their relationship with their particular gender.

Wisdom

Increasingly, the boundary has been obfuscated. Ostensibly men and women are the same: But are they?

There is a mass identity crises abrew: Each gender in an earnest attempt for equality, has sacrificed its own uniqueness.

In school, at work, and in the community, men and women have become nearly fully integrated; as a result, questions abound about their similarities and differences.

Trying to conform to society and especially the work marketplace, men and women often behave in ways that suppress their natures.

In order to protect themselves, they may be overly aggressive; in order to please everyone, they may be unduly passive.

Our perceptions of gender roles has been shaped and distorted by many years of social programming, manipulation, and abuse.

Many men used their strength to dominate women and abuse their positions of authority.

And women, eager to make their own mark on society, have grown increasingly frustrated.

In a backlash effort, some women have become equally aggressive in asserting themselves.

Wisdom
How and why G-d created man and woman

How can we untangle this mess and reveal the true man and true woman that lie beneath the distortion?

First we need to explore how and why G-d created man and woman.

The question many people ask is this: did G-d create man and woman as equals? This is the equivalent of asking whether an engineer built two parts of a machine equally – the parts may be utterly different from one another, but without either one, the machine would either cease to function or malfunction.

As our sages state “G-d did not create anything in vain.”

Wisdom

We must recognize that man and woman were created by design as two equal beings, yet each with a distinct role to play toward one unified goal.

Wisdom

In order to understand the essential nature of man and woman, we must put aside limited human subjectivity and peer through G-d’s eyes.

All human beings, men and women, were created for the same purpose – to fuse body and soul in order to make themselves and their world a better and holier place.

In their service of G-d there is absolutely no distinction between a man and a woman; the difference lies only in the manner in which their service manifests.

Wisdom

Men and women have been given different tools with which to fulfill their common goal.

Indeed, their physiological, emotional, and psychological differences are a result of their divergent spiritual mandates as instructed by G-d.

Wisdom

Were each of us designed to fulfill exactly the same role in life, there would be no need for so many forms of expression.

Wisdom

G-d created the human race as one entity and then divided them into two – “a single individual with two faces.”

Just as each person is composed of two elements, the body and soul which we must learn to fully integrate, man and woman are the two elements of humankind.

Wisdom

The unity between man and woman is most profoundly experienced in the framework of marriage, through which both a man and a woman, each in his or her own way, can achieve the fullest potential for growth by learning to transcend their own individuality.

Man and woman are drawn to each other because they each yearn to connect with their other half, the partner with whom they were originally joined before they were divided into two.

Paradoxically, through the merging of one’s self with another, a person has the capacity to reach his or her most personal essence, his or her real individuality.

Chapter 2 What are The Energies Of Man and Woman?

Wisdom
Partners not Competitors

In order to appreciate the harmony between men and women, we must appreciate their sameness in serving G-d.

When men and women humbly recognize and join in their shared purpose, with an understanding that through their sameness, self-actualization of the highest form will follow, they can develop mutual respect for one another – as true equals.

When they serve only their own needs, there is room for discord between them.

Wisdom

Man and woman represent two forms of Divine energy, they are the male and female elements of a single soul.

Indeed every aspect of the entire universe is distinguished by these two dimensions.

Wisdom

G-d is neither masculine nor feminine, but has two forms of emanation: the masculine form, which is more assertive, and the feminine form which is more subtle.

For a human being to lead a total life, he or she must have both forms of energy: the power of expression and the power of deliberation; the power of strength and the power of subtlety; the power of giving and the power of receiving.

And ideally, these energies are merged seamlessly.

Wisdom

Man and women encompass both dimensions.

In general though – and in their most spiritual undiluted form, undistorted by societal and cultural pressures – man and woman primarily embody one of these two energies.

Men are physically stronger. By nature, a man is often more assertive and externally orientated.

In dramatic contrast, a woman often embodies the ideal of inner dignity.

Wisdom

Society at times mistakes such subtlety and calls it weakness; in truth it is more formidable than the most aggressive physical force. True human dignity does not holler; it speaks in a strong steady voice; it resonates from within.

The nature of a woman is subtle not weak.

And the nature of a man is assertive not brutish.

Wisdom

Feminine energy is who you are and masculine energy is what you do.

Wisdom

For man and woman to be complete then they must each posses both energies.

Ones noblest values or ideas become meaningless unless they are actualized.

So too action without the dictate of an inner voice of truth is also meaningless.

Wisdom

In general, the mans primary role is to utilize his assertive masculine energy to refine the material world, while the woman’s primary role is to utilize her subtle feminine energy to reveal the innate G-dliness in all that exists.

Wisdom

The man “goes out” in search of G-dliness, the woman absorbs G-dliness.

The man provides the seed to create life, the woman bears life.

The man teaches his children how to live, the woman is life.

The man gives love, the woman is love.

Wisdom

This is not to say that only man can refine the outside world or that only woman can reveal innate goodness.

Indeed, experience has proved that in “conquering” and creating change in the world, the feminine approach can often be more effective than the masculine approach, which often hinges on confrontation.

So the man must access his sensitivity and subtlety, while a woman must access her assertion when necessary.

Wisdom

The answer is not for men and women to try to be alike – nor, for that matter, for men to be like other men and women to be like other women.

All men and women must be themselves, realizing that G-d has given to each of us unique abilities with which to pursue our goals, and that our primary responsibility is to take full advantage of these abilities.

Wisdom

G-d asks of man to understand himself in the context of his maleness, which incorporates his “feminine self” and asks of a woman to understand herself in context of her femininity, which incorporates her “male self.”

And above all we are ultimately each responsible as a freestanding human being to G-d and society.

Wisdom

In order to unite forces in a wholesome and constructive fashion, men and women must first learn to appreciate their true selves and their true differences.

Wisdom

This includes a certain modesty and mutual respect in their manner of dress, conduct and communication, as well as recognizing that a physical union between man and woman is possible only within the Divine union of marriage.

It is no coincidence that a good marriage also requires both the feminine and masculine dimensions, so that a couple cooperates to build a strong union while having the introspective faith to face life’s inevitable vicissitudes.
Chapter 3 What Are The Forces Dividing Men And Women Today?

Wisdom
Uniting Male and Feminine Energies

It is a great challenge to achieve the proper blend of masculine and feminine energy.

Wisdom
When Style Supersedes Substance
We live in a time where the material world supersedes the world of the sublime in many people’s eyes.

When ego and power prevail, style takes precedence over substance, form over spirit; the true and healthy balance between man and woman becomes distorted.

Wisdom

Their distinct energies, rather than being integrated toward a unified goal, become amplified and serve only to separate them.

Wisdom

When we place more emphasis on the material than the spiritual, the masculine and feminine energies begin to diverge, and the male assertive energy is inclined to dominate.

When we value external power and control over hearth and family, when we value aggressive business tactics over sensitivity and wisdom, we are placing a higher premium on a man, or rather, on the parts of the man that find this form of expression natural and comfortable.

We thus create an environment where masculine energy dominates and is valued most.

Inevitably, both man and woman suffer from this distortion of priorities, but it is women who feel its brunt, for a woman’s primary strength lies in the sublime and the sensitive.

Wisdom
Feminism

Some dismiss or underestimate these strengths misinterpreting them as vulnerability, this distortion and men’s subsequent abuse of the distortion is the most compelling reason for today’s feminism. And indeed it is warranted.

Though feminism rightfully calls for the stop of male domination, and for equal rights for women, it is vital to get to the root of this distortion – that our focus in life as man or woman must not be to satisfy our own ego or needs but to serve G-d.

Wisdom

True women’s liberation does not mean seeking equality within a masculine world, it means liberating the Divine feminine aspects of a woman’s personality and using them for the benefit of all humankind.

Wisdom

Women need to clamor for their rights because the world insists on it for its cosmic well being.

Many women just as many men have succumbed to the growth of materialistic values at the expense of spiritual ones.

The women’s movement has accomplished much tangible good, yet it has stunted its own potential by failing to address the root problem.

The feminist fight for equality and validation on masculine terms ultimately fuels the power struggle between men and women.

Instead of using their distinctive traits toward a united goal, they often simple fight for domination, fostering deep resentment.

Practice and Theory

The only response to such a standoff is to reintroduce spiritual values into our lives – to reintroduce humility, to learn to recognize and appreciate the innate personalities of men and women, to see them as complementary halves of the same whole, serving one G-d.

Practice

This is not to say that we should abolish careers and forfeit the opportunities presented by contemporary life; rather we must refocus our priorities.

Instead of seeing the workplace as the core of your existence, instead of seeing money as the richest reward, you must see who you really are: a man or woman created equally by G-d to use your particular strengths to improve the world.

For some, this might mean considering a career that enables them to enhance their family life rather than compromise it.

For others, it might mean taking time from work to pursue their own spiritual growth, community work, or humanitarian efforts.

Some people may find themselves happier and more fulfilled dedicating themselves to educating their children at home, a trend that is intensifying of late.

As we become more spiritually orientated our appreciation for the responsibilities of building a home life will continue to grow.

After all, building a home, – transforming this material world into a G-dly home – is the purpose for which we were created.

But whether you pursue a career outside the home, make your home your career or fuse the two, it is vital to reassess your priorities in life, and concentrate on your role as man or a woman under G-d.

Women, because they are more sensitive to spiritual energy, must spearhead this new awareness.

This would be the ultimate feminist revolution – to topple the walls that separate spirit from matter, to lead a rebellion to a state in which there is true harmony between the masculine and feminine energies.

Practice and Theory

For this to work, men and women must realize their respective equal roles and strive to complement each other in their shared struggle to improve life.

In order to correct the abuse of male dominance, men must concentrate on using their dominant qualities for the good.

They must use their strength to preserve and protect the feminine character, helping women realize their true potential in exposing G-dliness, which the world so desperately needs today.

We must use “the battle of the sexes” as a catalyst to reach back into our true selves.

We must undo the distortion that has blurred the male and female roles as two unique Divine energies and come to understand how every man and woman must fulfill himself and herself.

We must always remember that they are two halves of the same soul, and they complement each other.

Practice and Theory

Ask yourself this question: Are you being true to your nature or are you contradicting it in order to succeed in the material world?

Practice and Theory

Learn about what it means to be a man or a woman, about masculine and feminine energies.

Practice and Theory

Learn to live up to your potential, to balance these energies, to lead a productive and meaningful life – a G-dly life.

Practice and Theory

Learn to respect your male or female counterpart.

Wisdom

After so many years of male dominance, we are standing at the threshold of a true feminine era.

We are witnessing a return to higher values, we have recognized that materialism cannot make us happy, that an exclusively materialistic life and meaningful life are in contradistinction to one another.

We have seen a resurgence of feminine energy, of the power of the serene.

Wisdom

It is time now for the woman to rise to her true prominence.

When the subtle power of the feminine energy is allowed to nourish the overt power of the masculine energy.

We have already proved that we can use our strength to slay the demons around us, let us now learn to nurture the G-dliness within.
Government
E Pluribus Unum
Out of Many, One
Chapter 1 What Is The Role Of Government?

Wisdom
The role of government is to strike a balance between individual rights versus the greater good of the community

Over the centuries, the human race has experimented with many forms of government.

Imperialist monarchies and despotism once ruled the world, giving way to such political and economic extremes as fascism and democracy, capitalism and Marxism.

The twentieth century has been a particularly turbulent one. After two world wars and the rise – and unexpected fall – of communism, we now have the luxury of hindsight to assess and learn from these various systems.

In each case, mankind continues to be plagued by the same basic conflict: individual rights versus the greater good of the community.

The role of government is to strike a balance between the two.

Wisdom
The Problems with both Totalitarianism and Democracy

Human beings are naturally diverse in their beliefs and ambitions.

Such differences often produce conflict between individuals and throughout society.

Suppressing this diversity would infringe on individual liberties, and is therefore unacceptable, and yet allowing every person unbridled freedom is also unacceptable, for what would prevent one person’s interests from harming another person or society?

Most governments have reacted to this paradox by opting for one extreme or the other.

Totalitarianism may argue for the good of the whole at the expense of the individual; it maintains that the selfish needs of the individual will ultimately fragment a nation and undermine the common good.

Ironically, it is under such regimes that individuals – that is, dictators – assumed unprecedented powers.

We need no reminder of the untold misery that this form of government, in most cases, has caused the human race.

Democracy, on the hand, nurtures the very individualism that totalitarianism squelches; it declares that all men were created equal and possess the rights to pursue their beliefs without hindrance.

Democracy contends that it is better to have motivated free people and risk excessive self-interest than to destroy their drive by suppressing individualism for the common good.

Wisdom

Democracy would appear to be a far better form of government that totalitarianism.

But democracy contains an inherent flaw, in that its essential motivating factor is self-interest.

Over time, the core values of a community begin to crumble under the accumulated weight of millions of individual desires and needs.

Ultimately, these conflicting interests can erode a society’s unified drive for meaningful achievement.

Several democracies have struggled mightily with this dilemma, perhaps none more that the United States, the largest democracy in the history of the world.

Consider the battle in dozens of American cities where individual’s
freedom of expression has come in conflict with community standards of morality.

Wisdom
Individuals or movements cannot balance societal versus personal good, due to prejudice and subjectivity, only G-d’s governmental status which is not subject to prejudice nor subjectivity can

Since people are bound to have vastly different beliefs, who should define the standards of morality and justice that must rule all the people?

At what point does a government intervene to keep an individual from harming himself or others?

How do we avoid the abuse of power by governmental leaders themselves?

The only government that can successfully balance individual and societal needs is a righteous government built on faith in G-d.

The underlying flaw of all governments, whether fascistic or democratic, is that they are based on human rules.

Any government built solely on human judgment is bound to be subject to the prejudice, subjectivity, and arbitrariness of individual humans or groups.

But G-d, who created all people equal, also gave them a system of absolute morality and justice.

Wisdom

A society that yearns to be righteous must be built on such ethical values.

The very foundation of civilization rests upon the basic principles known as the Seven Noahide Laws given at Sinai:

Belief in G-d
Respect for and Praise of G-d
Respect for human life
Respect for family sanctity
Respect for others rights and property
Creation of a judicial system
Respect for all animals

Without these laws as a bedrock of government, a society will either have despotism, where individual lives are compromised and possibly G-d forbid abused, or anarchy, where every person pursues his or her own needs without regard for the law.

So how is it possible to balance individual freedom with the good of society?

By looking beyond self-interest and recognizing that we are all part of the same family and community; by recognizing that we are all bound by the same Divine laws and entrusted with the same mission in life – to civilize the world in a meaningful and G-dly way.

Chapter 2 Which comes first the individual or society?

Wisdom
Balancing individual freedom and the needs of society

We are seeing more and more examples of conflict between individual freedom and the needs of society – the question of whether one person should be allowed to help another take his life, for example, or whether the government should alert a community as to the whereabouts of a released prisoner.

Such issues are complicated, and must be resolved case by case.

Under any circumstance, we must respect the individual’s rights, for the sanctity of the community is built on the sanctity of each individual; abridging ones person’s rights, therefore, is an attack on the entire community.

On the other hand, there are times when one person’s self-interest, though it may fall within the boundaries of the law, threatens the entire community.

The resolution of such conflict depends on an objective view built on Divine moral principles.

The key lies in recognizing that individuality is not an enemy of community and that community is not an enemy of individuality.

Consider the human body, “A world in microcosm.” Every organ, while it participates in any number of shared duties, also has its specific individual function.

What would happen if a particular organ abruptly surrendered its individual function and applied itself solely toward the communal good of the body?

Ultimately, this would be disastrous for both the organ and the organism, for the body is able to function only by integrating separate components that perform individual tasks.

The same could be said for an individual within a society, a minority group within a nation, or one nation within the community of nations.

Freedom of expression, for example, is vital for a healthy and vibrant society, motivating individuals to invest and contribute in a manner that will ultimately benefit the entire community.

A civilized nation needs to be built on a foundation of morality and ethics that is timeless and unconditional.

At the same time, a nation’s survival is dependent on its constant progress and growth.

Just as an individual must balance his or her needs with the good of the community, any one nation must balance its needs with the community of nations.

Since all nations today are part of the same “global village,” they are all responsible for one another, and the neglect of one nation ultimately affects all the others.

Every nation must be helped, and every nation must be ready to help.

It is irresponsible to look the other way when a nation is need.
Chapter 3 What Steps Should Government Take To Ensure The Welfare Of Its Citizens?

Wisdom
Education

The key, therefore to balancing individual and communal needs is education.

Wisdom

For a government to be truly dedicated to the welfare of its citizens – their physical, emotional, and above all spiritual welfare – it must make education its primary objective without which all other points are moot.

Wisdom

A government and its leaders not only must teach citizens how to pursue rational solutions to complex problems but must teach them how to live.

Wisdom

It must educate them that human conduct must follow the Divine laws given to us all, by G-d.

This is the only guarantee that individual rights will be preserved without compromising the common good.

Wisdom
The United States stands for Divine Morality

The United States epitomizes these principles.

This is a country, after all, whose founders declared it “one nation under G-d.”

Sessions of Congress are opened with a religious invocation; the Bible is used to swear in elected officials, and Chaplains are appointed in the armed forces.

Even this nation’s currency – the very icon of materialism – declares “In G-d We Trust.”

Wisdom

The majority of this country’s early settlers were religious refugees who firmly believed in G-d and the Bible, and were determined to protect their right to do so.

This was not an abstract belief to a supreme being who dwelt somewhere in heaven; it was a belief that permeated every aspect of their lives; particularly the education of their children.

They understood and appreciated this newfound religious freedom.

Wisdom

These core beliefs are the secret of the nation’s endurance.

Having built itself on a firm and permanent foundation, the United States has become the most powerful of nations, in a unique position to positively influence every inhabitant on the face of the earth.

Wisdom

We are currently witnessing a sad phenomena.

The spirit of the Constitution has been misinterpreted, with some parties taking “religious freedom” to mean freedom from religion.

Even a nondenominational “moment of silence” in schools has been opposed.

When the founding fathers included “freedom of religion” in the Bill of Rights, they were ensuring the freedom of every person to worship G-d according to his or her own conscience; there can be no doubt that the Constitution was meant to preserve freedom, not to wean the nation away from G-d.

Wisdom

The principles of separation of church and state should not be misconstrued as a denial of G-d and religion.

This separation is necessary so that the government cannot impose any one religion on all its citizens, but such vigilance must not be carried out at the expense of belief in G-d, which is shared by all denominations.

Wisdom

The United States is now faced with countless social disorders, many of which stem from the lack of belief in and responsibility to G-d and a corresponding lapse in respect for the Divine laws of morality.

Wisdom

Shouldn’t the Constitution be interpreted in a way that addresses this national crises instead of avoiding it?

Wisdom
Prevention of delinquency through adherence to G-d

The only way to ensure that people adhere to a moral order is to instill in them a permanent sense of values.

Punishing a person after he has committed a crime, for instance, is attacking, not the cause of the problem but the symptom.

Clearly, a child who is brought up without fear and respect for G-d in his heart will have no fear or respect for any authority – his parents, his teachers, law enforcement officers.

He must learn to accept the concept of a Divine moral code that we all must obey.

He must realize that the laws of man are rooted in something far more eternal: The Ten Commandments.

Practice

We must use every opportunity to cultivate this awareness.

Practice and Theory

The moment of silence at the beginning of each school day is a good example.

By no means is this a violation of the separation of church and state, for the child can use the moment however he or she wishes.

But by encouraging the moment, we are telling the child that believing in a higher being is fundamental to all education, that knowledge per se is worthless without knowing how to use it for the good of society at large.

Wisdom

There is another motto on the U.S. Currency besides “In G-d We Trust”; it is E Pluribus Unum or Out-Of-The Multitude-One.

We must never allow our government to forget that every community is inherently made up of many individuals, and each individual should be encouraged to participate and contribute his individual strength toward the greater good of the united community.

Chapter 4 Where Is Our Government Headed?

Wisdom
Maximizing Freedom’s Potential

We are now at a point in history where individual rights are largely recognized across the globe, the same globe that until a few centuries ago was ruled exclusively by tyrants and kings.

Such individual freedom poses its own dilemmas.

Without the proper guidance, we become slaves to our own selfish desires.

So the challenge is to harness this freedom, to channel it for good and righteous purposes.

Wisdom

More than ever before, the civilized world looks up to the United States as a true superpower whose strength is derived from a commitment to a moral code that invites the many to become one, that cherishes and supports the poor and weak as much as the rich and strong.

The United States must continue to use its influence to inspire other nations in the areas of education and human rights; if there is one world conscience, America must be the country that voices it.

Now is not the time to underestimate that sacred duty.

Wisdom

The Untied States and all nations must recognize the unprecedented times we are living in.

Thanks to technology, the world is more united than ever before.

And yet, because this nation and many others have deviated from the Divine laws that brought us to this point, we are experiencing terrible conflict.

The leaders of the world must encourage their constituents to live by G-d’s Divine laws, which will enable them to use their personal freedom to usher in a true unity between man and man, community and community, nation and nation.

Practice and Theory

Leaders of all communities, cities, states, and countries must come out with a call to all their citizens to follow the universal moral code of the Seven Noahide Laws.

By demonstrating responsible and virtuous behavior, by showing themselves to be selfless and genuine, and above all, by accepting the higher authority of G-d in their lives, our leaders can set an example that will help foster love and care between all citizens.

Wisdom

The time has truly come when all nations “shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.”

The government of every nation must now be prepared to do everything possible to finally bring peace to the entire world.
Leadership
The Art of Selflessness

Chapter 1 Do we really need leaders?

Wisdom
Who is a true leader?

At some point in our lives, we have all had a relationship with someone – a parent, a teacher, or an employer perhaps – who greatly changed the way we looked at life and the world.

Someone who had high standards and truly stood for something.

Someone who inspired and motivated us.

Someone who taught us to set goals and instilled the confidence and spirit to achieve them.

Such a person is a true leader.

Wisdom
Contemporary Leaders

After witnessing so much deceit and such frequent abuse of power, many people have ceased trusting their leaders.

Still, no matter how cynical we may grow, we resign ourselves to the fact that we need someone to keep our various houses in order.

Since we are so preoccupied with our own lives, we are willing to elect or appoint officials to manage the affairs of the land.

Wisdom

Do we really need leaders in the first place?

Yes we need leaders. On our own we may lack the vision, direction and strength to reach our goals.

We all begin our lives in need of guidance – even the most precocious child could not possibly be expected to make certain crucial decisions.

Once we become adults, with the capacity to reason for ourselves, most of us are so overwhelmed with the pressures of daily survival that we rarely find the time and energy to focus on life’s larger issues.

And when we do, our emotions and inherent subjectivity limit our vision and constrict our movement. As the sages write “one who is bound can not undue the knots that tie him.”

A leader provides a new perspective, inspiring us to expand our narrow field of vision.

When we are preoccupied with our self interests – be they petty or great – a leader sends out a wake-up call, alerting us to seek the true priorities in life.

Wisdom
Urgency in Leaders

A sense of urgency is jut as important in a leader as a sense of vision.

Wisdom
To fulfill the vision of life itself

Leadership today is sorely lacking the quality of urgency.

Many of our leaders are effective managers, and some are even inspirational; we have CEOs who can direct thousands of employees toward a single objective, and politicians whose rhetoric inspire millions of citizens to support them.

What these leaders don’t provide is simple, – and essential: A vision of life itself.

Genuine leadership must give people a long term vision that imbues their lives with meaning.

It must point them in a new direction and show them how their every action is an indispensible part of a purposeful whole.

It is not enough for our leaders to teach us to be productive or efficient, they need to inspire us to change or improve the world in a productive, meaningful way.

And this creates a compelling sense of urgency: to fulfill the vision of life itself.

Chapter 2 What makes a True Leader?

Wisdom
Discerning True Leaders

With so many people purporting to be leaders these days, how do we recognize a true leader?

To answer that question, we must step back and ask: What is it that the leader is really trying to accomplish?

A true leader wants nothing more than give people pride, to make people stand on their own, as leaders in their own right.

Instead of trying to blind us with his or her brilliance, a true leader reflects our own light back to us, so that we may see ourselves anew.

Wisdom

Moses was the quintessential leader.
We read in Exodus that he was a shepherd – a rather modest beginning for the man who would speak to G-d.

He kept watch as thousands of sheep wandered the fields.

Moses noticed that one sheep was missing and went off to look for it, finding it at a distant brook.

He waited until the sheep had finished drinking then he lifted it onto his shoulders and carried it back to the flock.

When G-d saw this, he realized that Moses was a man of reason, empathy, and selfless devotion, a man truly worth to lead his people.

After all, no one was watching Moses; he could easily have thought to himself, Why be concerned with one sheep when there are thousands?

Wisdom

In our secular society, we tend to think of a leader as a person who is well connected, who is powerful or charismatic or wealthy.

We judge our leaders by what they have.

But a true leader should be judged by what he has not – ego, arrogance, and self interest.

A true leader see his work as selfless service towards a higher purpose.

As the sages say “Leadership is not power and dominion, it is servitude.”

This does not mean that a leader is weak; he derives his great strength from his dedication to a purpose that is greater than himself.

Wisdom
Every Generation’s Mosses’ Leadership

Each generation has its Moses, a leader who inspires absolute trust, who is totally dedicated to fulfilling his unique role.

He understands and appreciates each person’s role in perfecting this world, and guides him or her accordingly.

He rises above any individual perspective to take a global view, seeing how each person and issue fits into the entire scheme of the contemporary world.

Wisdom

A true leader shakes people from their reverie and tells them: No you don’t need to live a life of desperation and confusion. Yes you do have the ability to find meaning in your life, and the unique skills to fulfill that meaning.

You are an important link in a chain of generations past; you have a legacy worth preserving and future worth fighting for.

Wisdom

A true leader shows us that our world is indeed heading somewhere and that we can control its movement.

That we need not be at the mercy of personal prejudices or the prevailing political wind.

That none of us is subservient to history or nature – that we are history and nature.

That we can rid the world of war and hate and ignorance, and obliterate the borders separating race from race, rich from poor.

Wisdom
Merging Democracy and True Leadership

Centuries ago, kings and queens ruled the world, but we are today far removed from the very concept of absolute leadership.

Indeed leadership would seem to contradict our democratic tradition, which has taught us not to subordinate our lives to others. But we cannot afford to be so literal-minded. If the ideals of democracy were followed to the extreme, if the public demanded a referendum for even the smallest piece of legislature, society could not function.

So our current political makeup is a pragmatic and acceptable compromise allowing individuals a role in choosing their leaders while holding the leaders responsible to society.

Sill, many people have lost faith in contemporary leaders. The solution is not to resign yourself to this sad state of affairs, but to search for and demand a leader of sterling character. The ultimate goal should be to have all the benefits of democracy and the benefits of a visionary leader.

Wisdom
Distinguishing between leadership and demagoguery

It is important, especially today, to distinguish between leadership and demagoguery.

A demagogue may inspire people but his motives are impure and expectation unrealistic.

It is wise to be a bit skeptical when assessing a leader: Is he truly devoted to his mission or just seeking glory?

Is he truly interested in the welfare of others or simply building a flock for his own aggrandizement?

A true leader does not seek followers; he wants to teach others how to be leaders.

He does not want control; only the truth.

He does not impose his leadership on others, nor does he take away anyone’s autonomy.

He inspires by love, not coercion.

When it comes time to take credit, he makes himself invisible; but he is the first to arrive at the time of need.

He will never shrink away in fear.

He is so passionate about your welfare that when you consult with him for guidance it is like coming face to face with yourself for the first time.

Wisdom
Walking the talk

A true leader must be a living example of his teachings.

When we see that a leader’s personal life embodies his philosophy, we too are inspired to learn and practice that philosophy.

Conversely, if we see that a leader does not live by his own words, we cannot trust him.

Wisdom
Practical Leadership

It is useless for a leader to be a visionary in the abstract, he must be a successful communicator whose vision can be translated into specific, applicable principles – not knowledge for the sake of knowledge but knowledge that can help improve the world.

Wisdom
Leadership and Humility

So a leader must be many thing – selfless, devoted, visionary, courageous and above all humble.

When G-d chose Moses to lead His people out of bondage in Egypt Moses replied “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?”

Indeed “Moses was humbler than any man on the face of the Earth.”

Wisdom
Recognize Good Leadership

We must recognize the characteristics of a leader – not only so we can weed out the demagogues, but so we can freely embrace a true leader when he emerges.

When people sincerely believe in a leader, they can rise above their petty self-concerns. They become eager to accept his direction and input, and are inspired to accomplish far more than they could have on their own.

Wisdom

By recognizing the characteristics of a true leader, we set a standard for our leaders and more importantly for ourselves.

Setting your sights on the summit even when you have yet to arrive, this is the surest way of completing the journey.

Chapter3 How can Each of Us Become A True Leader?
Practice and Theory
You Can Be A Leader

It is true that not everyone can be a leader like Moses; But every person, no matter how uneducated or poor has something to teach the wisest and richest among us.

No one is incapable of being a leader in some way, and no one is exempt from the responsibility.

You may think that you were not a “born leader.” But why, then, were you created? Each of us has been given unique strengths and abilities, we have the choice to use them selfishly or to share them with others.
Practice and Theory

Every generation places particular demands on its leaders, and the leadership of every generation is linked to its predecessors.
Practice and Theory

We have just as much to learn from Moses as from the leaders of the twentieth century; although the future may be vast we can see a great distance when we stand on the shoulders of giants.
Practice and Theory

Our current generation is so hungry for meaning and direction, for spiritual nourishment, that each one of us must serve as a leader.
Practice and Theory

Whatever you have learned, whatever you have been touched by, you must share it with others.
Practice and Theory

You can not waste time wondering if you are truly equipped to help your fellow man. When someone is drowning you don’t take a life course – you jump into the water and save a life!
Practice and Theory

So examine the areas of your life where people look at you as a leader – whether in your family, in your class, at work or with your peers.

Ask yourself: Am I doing everything I can to influence them positively?

Am I using all my G-d given abilities to inspire them intellectually, emotionally and spiritually?

Am I helping them live up to their true potential so they can become leaders in their own right?
Practice and Theory

One leader creates another and another ad infinitum, just as one candle’s flame lights another and another until the once impenetrable darkness has turned to brilliant light.
Our Generation
Understanding the Time in Which We Live

Chapter 1 How Can We Make Sense Of This Difficult Time?

Wisdom

To understand ourselves and find meaning in our lives, we must first understand the unique times in which we live.

This can be more difficult than it sounds.

Because we are so immersed in our everyday lives, we find it hard to step back and cast a clear eye on our chaotic surroundings.

On one hand, we are experiencing breathtaking technological advances.

Hardly a day goes by when we don’t hear about a new development in medicine or communications or industry.

Global affairs are fast changing, too – consider the bloodless fall of communism, which until just a few years ago was considered a great threat to mankind’s well being.

Because of these breakthroughs, the world is ever more united.

But on the personal level, there is unprecedented disunity.

Our value system lies shattered; each day another taboo is broken.

We are in the midst of a crises, desperately seeking happiness and fulfillment.

It is a sad paradox: The more technological wizardry and material comforts we pile up, the more steeply our values seem to decline.

Our spiritual standard of living is being sacrificed in favor of our material standard of living.

The breakdown of the nuclear healthy family structure is no longer a new problem – it has extended into a second and third generation – but we are just now feeling its full, brutal force.

Unfortunately evidence is all around us: physical, psychological, and emotional abuse of every sort.

There is a psychological crises at hand – a spiritual crises.

Many are so resigned to this fact that they don’t dare hope that things can get better.

How can we possibly make sense of this strange difficult time?

By understanding the spiritual forces behind human progress.

Chapter 2 Why Is This Generation Different From All Others?

Practice and Theory
Why This Generation is Unique

History is a process, with each generation growing out of the ones that preceded it.

Hundreds of years ago, before mass communication and world travel, people were hardly aware of anyone outside their own village.

Monarchs ruled with an absolute authority.

In the Middle / Dark Ages, people’s lives were controlled by institutionalized religions and an inflexible society that imposed a profound values system, though often at the expense of individual freedoms.

During the so called Enlightenment of the early eighteenth century, a new breed of free thinking began to flourish, and democratic ideas began to sweep Europe.

Napoleon, following the French Revolution of 1789, espoused the ideals of liberty, equality, and fraternity, promising emancipation to the oppressed.

But this newfound freedom exacted a severe spiritual toll, leading to a state of permissiveness, moral anarchy, and G-dlesness.

All too often, freedom translated into lack of boundaries; set free from the bonds of authority, man often gravitated to his most base desires, abandoning many of the healthy traditions of a G-d fearing society.

The Enlightenment, coupled with scientific revolutions, and a new liberalism, divided people into two groups: those who embraced science so absolutely that they rejected G-d in favor of atheistic dogma leading to a wholly materialistic lifestyle and those who rejected science and reason in favor of religious dogma leading to a wholly religious lifestyle.

Both groups essentially sought to answer the same question: What is the meaning of our existence and of truth?

This conflict would rage until science – and technology its afterbirth – would render established religion practically irrelevant for many people.

In the mid twentieth century this tide began to turn.

People began to realize that the technological, political and cultural advancements of the previous two centuries were hardly a solution to the human condition and search for truth and meaning of life.

The upheaval in the wake of two world wars led many to query whether the path that mankind had chosen would lead to happiness.

Materialism, which had seemed to be the means to a fulfilling existence, suddenly began to look very very empty.

As the century wore on, our soundings began to look less and less familiar.

Whereas in previous generations people’s lives followed clearly mapped out patterns, nothing seemed certain anymore.

Every area of modern life – economics, politics, science, medicine, – seemed to be in a state of flux.

Since the information explosion, there has been even more change, resulting in a constant revision of past attitudes.

The only thing that hasn’t changed throughout these centuries is mankind itself and our search for meaning, purpose and truth.

But as the twentieth century draws to a close, we have learned (this was written a few years ago) that we can no longer look for solutions from without – that we must begin to look within ourselves.

Even though we have never been so materially prosperous, we feel a deep unease.

Where are we headed?
What are we to teach our children?
What has become of the world we thought we knew?

Do not feel alone if you ponder such questions, for tens of millions of people are feeling the same way!

Why do we feel so restless???

Because it has become more and more apparent that no amount of materiel comfort can truly satisfy us, that no amount of reason can truly answer our questions about the meaning of life, that the greatest technological wizardry cannot comfort our souls.

This realization has created an intense void in men and women around the world.

Whenever there is an imbalance between conflicting forces in our lives, a deep inner tension emerges.

After experiencing major changes in our external world and being faced with the challenges and catastrophes of our century, a new demand for balance beckons.

The shifting reality in which we are living, upsets our existing frame of reference, creating unease and restlessness.

We now live in a place that is split between materialism and spirituality.

Most of us live in one world or the other, and are unable, or afraid, to straddle the chasm that divides them.

If you live primarily in the material world, you might consider the spiritual world too demanding or rigid.

If you live primarily in the spiritual world, you might consider the material world too self-serving or rootless.

Both attitudes are the result of the same philosophical flaw: that G-d and the universe cannot coexist.

This flaw was the undoing of the two extremes of belief in previous centuries – atheistic materialism and dogmatic religion.

We now have the luxury of hindsight to appreciate the shortcoming of such a compartmentalization.

The challenge we face today is to truly unite the forces of matter and spirit.

This means acknowledging the dichotomy between body and soul within ourselves; and creating a harmony between our materiel and spiritual drives.

Our unique generation offers a unique challenge: to find a language that can reach deeper into the soul, an unconventional language to deal with an unconventional problem, to apply eternal spiritual truths to contemporary life.
Chapter 3 Where is our generation headed?

Wisdom

Where our Generation is Heading

As we approach the end of this millennium, we are all well aware of the sweeping changes that have taken place in the world during the last several generations.

The very landscape of our world has been radically altered, and we can anticipate even more revolutionary changes in the coming years.

After mankind’s long search for unity and meaning, the world is ready for deep and meaningful change.

Clearly, a revolt is under way. Never before has there been such public discussion of unhappiness, such an obsession with therapy and self-help, such a deep hunger for anything or anyone who can sooth our weary souls.

Throughout America and the world, people are genuinely searching for spiritual meaning.

When we don’t find relevance in what we are being taught, we look elsewhere.

The rebellions and transitions of the last decades testify to the disillusionment in old value systems.

There is no doubt that much of what we learn today is spiritually irrelevant.

We have been trained for materiel success – by our schools, by television and by our peers.

It is only natural that materialism has become the magnetic north of our moral compass.

But this is not the workings of some evil demonic force; it is simply a state of default.

Darkness is often not an enemy, but simply the absence of light.

So the solution to today’s spiritual crises lies not in slaying some dragon on the outside, but in battling the personal conflict within.

This requires a grassroots awakening. We each need to make a new commitment to kindness.

To spread a massage of love and cooperation, of moral and spiritual values.

A message that this world is changing and we are poised at departing the age of materialism and entering the state of unlimited wisdom coming from G-d Himself in the messianic soon-to-be era.

This wisdom will unite mankind rather than materialism which divides it.

And with today’s technology we can reach and unite with people everywhere.

Imagine if all seven billion people on this planet chose to be unselfish for one given moment, everyone united in the pursuit of true and meaningful knowledge.

Just think what we could accomplish!

This then is the current challenge; Though it may seem insurmountable, but remember this process began long ago and its energy accumulates from generation to generation!

History is one generation standing on the shoulders of the previous one, like single bricks that together form a might fortress.

We may think of ourselves as a meager generation, but when we stand on the shoulders of our predecessors, we have the potential to become the mightiest of structures.

The birth of the modern era has brought about a triumph of freedom over authoritativeness.

We have learned that freedom presents various challenges, but we have also been taught that G-d would not place an obstacle in our path unless he provided us with the abilities to overcome the obstacle.

Past generations have abused their freedom. Taking advantage of it mainly for personal and selfish gain.

It is the challenge of this generation to redefine the meaning of freedom, to bring about a liberation of the soul, to embrace a life that answers the soul’s deepest yearnings and realizes its Divine purpose, of dedicating our lives selflessly toward charitable, familial and societal needs.

We have been challenged to introduce to the world a freedom that does not challenge the sovereignty of G-d’s authority, but which is its ultimate compliment.

Our sages tell us that there will come a day when our earthly reality will be a flawless mirror of its Divine source, G-d’s architectural blueprint namely the Biblical and Jewish Mystical wisdom.

We are now on the threshold of that day.

There has never been a better time to reach people, for their hearts and souls are thirsting for nourishment, understanding, love and guidance.

Instead of using modern technology simply for personal and business means, we must learn to use it to spread inspiration and goodness.

None of us are excluded from the monumental responsibility of learning and teaching what G-d wants of us, and our generation.

It is up to each of us to open our eyes, our minds, and hearts to this new awareness.

Every era has its calling.

Every generation has its mission.

We must recognize that we live in a special time and that we have been groomed for this moment; You must ask yourself “Am I fulfilling my calling.”
Philosophy and Practicality
To Know and To Do

Chapter 1 Why Do We Think One Thing And Do Another?

Practice and Theory

We live in a world where there is a great gulf between what people think and what they do.

We constantly see that people’s behavior does not reflect their beliefs, or at least what they profess to believe.

Often parents encourage their children to follow a particular set of rules even if the parents themselves do not.

Such a segregation of knowledge and action is unacceptable and false.

A way of life means one way not two.

Someone whose deeds do not reflect his or her thoughts is going in two directions at once.

To live a meaningful life, we must learn to direct our thoughts speech and deeds towards one end.

Wisdom
Integrating thought with action

The Bible teaches mankind how to lead a meaningful life.

It is a life that requires harmony between knowledge and behavior, in which every event, from the most sublime to the most mundane, is permeated with meaning and purpose.

Why is it that we demand consistency from everything around us, but tolerate inconsistency in our own behavior?

Perhaps we are not as honest when it comes to ourselves, or perhaps it is because we simply find it easier to do as we please without considering the consequences.

But you must ask yourself: “How can I expect to find peace, if my life is divided between what I believe and what I do?”

When you see yourself as a self contained individual with no clear purpose in life, you may be controlled by conflicting thoughts and desires.

Were we to see life through the eyes of its Creator, though, we would see thought and action for what they truly are, two sides of the same coin.

Just as a book is the ideas and words express these ideas, our lives are the combination of our thoughts and actions.

Practice and Theory
When we introduce G-d into our lives, we recognize this unity.

We recognize that knowledge teaches us how to behave and that our behavior is the way to actualize our knowledge.

So for a person to be complete and righteous, he must master both knowledge and action.

Practice and Theory

Which is more important, thought or action?

In one place, the sages state that “learning is greater, because learning brings to deed” however they also write that “the essential thing is not learning, but doing.”

Action without knowledge not only is directionless, but can be dangerous.

Knowledge without action, on the other hand, is fruitless.

An architect can plan for years, draw blueprints, and hire builders, but if the building is never erected, all the preparation amounts to nothing.

In our material world, the bottom line is action.

Practice and Theory
The relationship between knowledge and action is like the relationship between the soul and the body.

Without the soul the body would be lifeless, and without the body, the soul would be unable to carry out even its best intentions.

But together, the body and soul form one healthy unit.

Similarly your knowledge infuses your conduct with vitality, direction and meaning.

Practice and Theory

Thought is the most sublime form of human expression, while the deed is the most concrete.

Practice and Theory

In our society, most people are in one of two groups – the thinkers or the doers, the creative or the practical.

Such a split is unhealthy, a wholesome person, no matter how lofty or brilliant his or her thoughts may be, must ground them in deed, and even the simplest deed must be directed by knowledge.

Practice and Theory

In education, therefore we need to concentrate on both the cognitive and behavioral.

A student must learn a rational value system that will influence his behavior, but he must also learn a certain behavioral discipline, just as soldiers are disciplined to react instinctively in threatening situations.

The cognitive also allows a student to be skeptical of the information he is being taught, to challenge it before absorbing and integrating it into his behavior.

Since young children cannot be expected to determine good behaviors from bad on their own, they must be taught appropriate behavior until it becomes second nature.

There is no such thing as neutral education, either a child assumes healthy habits or unhealthy ones.

Once his cognitive abilities develop, he can be taught the rationale behind the value system he learned.
Chapter 2 How Do We Balance Philosophy and Practicality?
Practice and Theory
Unifying thought and action
Aren’t knowledge and action in conflict with each other?

After all, knowledge involves the development of self, while action means putting aside self-orientated instincts for the task at hand.

So when we have a free hour, how should we use it?

How does a person cross over this difficult divide from the sublime world of thought to the material world of deed?

By recognizing why you were put here in the first place – to serve your Creator.

Personal growth is necessary but not an end in itself.

When we humbly acknowledge our role in life, and recognize that the world does not revolve around our ego, we put aside our vanity and act responsibly.

We realize that each of us is integral in shaping the world but none of us has the power- or the responsibility – to do it alone.

Practice and Theory
If ideals and reality don’t match the ideals are dubious

We certainly should not serve G-d out of ignorant devotion, but with the power of a well developed intellect.

We have been given minds and hearts, free will and a faculty for pleasure; surely we were not meant to submit blindly to a robot-like servitude.

But the moral person must strive to unite his daily conduct with his convictions, to live up to the standards that he would like others to adhere to.

If one’s ideals are not reflected in his behavior, the integrity of the ideal itself must be questioned.

If a philosophy is not applied, its truths becomes dubious, for without representation on a practical level, the philosophy – like the architect’s unconsummated plans – is devoid of its purpose.

If a person is arrogant to others or lacks sensitivity or simple manners, then his wisdom has no value.

The goal of a truly wise person is to transform and integrate his wisdom, by bringing it to the reality of daily life, in the way he thinks, speaks, and behaves, even the way he walks the street and eats his meals.
Chapter 3 How Do We Apply This Unity?

Practice
Uniting Philosophy and Practicality

• True unity means applying our philosophy to the personal and psychological level, connecting every aspect of our lives to G-d.

• By achieving this unity between our ideology and actions, we will arrive at the point where we do not need to look in books to know what is right, it will become part of our very fabric.

• Our instincts and actions will be in tune with our souls and with G-d.

• We must know what we do; and do what we know!

• We must be role models – not only for our children, but for our friends and associates.

• Carry out your every good thought.

• Use your intelligence to solve actual problems.

• Express your love by stretching out a helping hand.

• Give your money and time to charity.

• A small talent that is put to use is far more valuable than a great talent that is wasted.

Practice and Theory
Uniting Philosophy and Practicality

Think about your ideology, and ask yourself: How much of it do I live up to?

When considering any plan of action, ask yourself: What difference will it make?

Tomorrow morning, before you engage in any intellectual enquiry, do a good deed.

Simply do it, and you will see how it enriches your outlook on life, for this is a two way street – just as the ideology feeds the deed, the deed fortifies the ideology.

Indeed it creates ideology.

And remember the essential thing is the deed, for a deed has the power of the Divine.

Your act makes G-d act.

In its simplicity, a good deed is mightier than the greatest ideas ever concocted.

There is no better time to act.

To unite your thoughts and deeds, than now.
Science and Technology
Discovering the Divine within Nature
Chapter 1 Technology: Vice or Virtue?

Wisdom

We live in a highly scientific world. Virtually every moment of our day – whether we are at home, at work, or in transit – is affected by modern technology.

The computer age and the information revolution have given all of us enormous power and the ability to reach virtually anyone at any time. Yes, technology allows us to live more comfortably and work more efficiently, but can we understand how it makes our lives more meaningful?
On its own, science is neutral; it attempts to give us an objective view of our physical universe and its natural forces, but it does not draw a conclusion as to how we should use these forces.
It does not deal with good and evil or with questions of morality. At its best, science acknowledges its own boundaries, recognizing that it is neither the basis nor the code for moral doctrine.
Technology, as with all forces in our lives, can be used either constructively or destructively.
Developments such as television, computers, and lasers, and discoveries in nuclear energy, medicine, and biology — these are all instances of G-dly forces that are manifested in nature.
Man has been charged with tapping those resources to refine and civilize the world, to transform our material surroundings into a proper home for spirituality and G-dliness.
Remember, G-d did not create bread; He created the sun and land and water and seeds of grain. We must plant the seeds, harvest the wheat, grind it into flour, mix it with water and bake it. Only then do we have bread to eat.
Couldn’t G-d have just as easily given whole bread, already made? Of course, but we are partners in the universe; our lives are an expression of free will, not a predetermined script. It is up to each of us to either use the earth to make bread or let it lie fallow.
It is the same with all of technology. G-d has created powerful forces throughout nature for use to utilize. We can choose to acknowledge the “hand inside the glove,” understanding where the power truly comes from, and use these forces as tools to lead a more meaningful life. Or we can choose to be distracted by the glove, to see technology only as a means unto itself, using it for indulgent, selfish, perhaps even destructive purposes.
Chapter 2 Why is it important to understand technology?
Wisdom
As Maimonides wrote “By contemplating G-d’s grand creations, one comes to recognize G-d’s great wisdom, which evokes deep love for G-d and a desire to bond with Him.”

Much of the technology discovered in this century, particularly in the area relating to the subatomic structure of matter, has given us a comprehension of the dynamic unity that bonds the entire universe and man.
Wisdom
Even for a person who doesn’t understand how a microchip or an electromagnet works, the resulting technology is an obvious testament to an unprecedented level of unity in our universe.

Modern communications allows us to connect instantaneously with practically anyone around the world.

Modern transportation enables us to reach places in just a few hours that only a hundred years ago might have been months away.
Wisdom
Computers allows us to process billions of pieces of information in a few seconds, performing tasks that used to be utterly impossible.
Yes, all of this technology saves enormous amounts of time and energy and creates countless new business opportunities. But such advantages should only be considered by-products of technology. Whose true purpose is to unite the world and make it a more fertile ground for a unified spiritual life.

This is the answer to understanding the technological revolution and where it is taking us.

Wisdom
The sweeping technological changes that have taken place during the past several generations are in keeping with the prediction some two thousand years ago in the Zohar, a classical text of mysticism, stating that in the year 1840, there would be an outburst of “lower wisdom,” or advancements in the physical universe, and an increase in “sublime wisdom,” or spirituality, which would begin to usher true unity into the world, leading toward the final redemption.
The increase in both types of wisdom — wisdom of the mind and wisdom of the soul — has surely come to pass; where we have fallen short is in integrating these spheres of knowledge. Only by balancing the scientific with the spiritual can we transform the dream of an ideal future into a functional blueprint for society, for true communication can begin only when human minds and souls interact.
With communica¬tion comes understanding; with understanding comes com¬passion; and with compassion comes a natural movement toward universalism.
So the current technological revolution is in fact the hand of G-d at work; it is meant to help us make G-d a reality in our lives. And as time goes on, science will show itself more and more to parallel the truths of G-d, thereby revealing the intrinsic unity in the entire universe.
Practice and Theory
The Divine purpose of the present information revolution, for instance, which gives an individual unprecedented power and opportunity, is to allow us to share knowledge — spiritual knowledge with each other, empowering and unifying individuals everywhere. We need to utilize today’s interactive technology not just for business or leisure but to interlink as people — to create a welcome environment for the interaction of our souls, our hearts, our visions.
Practice and Theory
Understanding science and technology as Divine tools for our personal and spiritual growth is also crucial for our well-being.
History has taught us that it is not enough for a society to be scientifically or intellectually sophisticated; “wisdom,” “knowledge,” and “enlightenment” can all too easily be perverted by the equally human qualities of arrogance and brutality.
Only when infused with an external standard of goodness, with the standard of a virtuous life as dictated by G-d, can wisdom truly achieve a higher plane.
Practice and Theory
We are experiencing an explosion of technology that places undreamt-of power in human hands.
Biotechnology for example, has given us access to the levers of creation – the ability to develop powerful new medical treatments for instance.
Or conversely the power to hurt or destroy.
In this century alone, we have seen stark testimony to the destructive capabilities of various technologies.
But even when technology is not used destructively, it is often simply wasted or left wanting.
Every day, our load of manual labor is lightened.
We have more effective machines to do the work that used to take up so much of our time.
Do we take advantage of these hours by spending more time with our children and with those in need?
Do we volunteer to teach a class or help out a neighbor?
Or do we simply reach for the next new button that will make our lives that much more convenient and comfortable?
Practice and Theory
We all feel the need to better our lives, but we must balance the wonders of technology by responding to the spiritual demands of our soul’s potential.
These demands are beginning to resonate throughout our society.
Parents, for instance, are pleased that their children are learning computer skills at school, but wary that such occupational training is not complemented by more human, more compassionate training.

Practice and Theory
It is well and good to learn to program a computer, but unless a student also acquires a sense of discipline and integrity, he or she might use that skill to wreak havoc.
The best students – and the best teachers – recognize that there is much to be learned by inspecting the failure of cultures before ours.
In doing so it becomes painfully clear that no amount of wisdom or technology can overcome a value system that does not do enough to discourage selfishness and evil.
With all our human capacity for technological advancement, we must never forget our higher objective. We must strive to enhance our scientific search for truth by constantly expanding our spiritual quest for the Divine.
Chapter 3 Can we Reconcile Science and Religion?
Wisdom
Our spiritual search, though, is sometimes impeded by various barriers.
The scientific revolution, for instance, caused some people to abandon their faith in G-d, rejecting their beliefs in face of newfound scientific “truths.”
Others clung stubbornly to their convictions, refusing to recognize the discovery of science.
This battle peaked in the ninetieth century, when science presented itself as an almighty new “religion.”
Despite a certain degree of enlightenment and various attempts to reconcile, for some people there still exists today a rift between science and religion, as though some parts of life are controlled by G-d and others by the laws of science and nature.
This compartmentalized attitude however is wrong; Since G-d created the universe and the natural laws that govern it, there can be no schism between the Creator and His creation.
The natural laws of the universe can hardly contradict the blueprint from which they were made!
So science is ultimately the human study of G-d’s mind, the search to understand the laws that G-d installed to run the physical universe.
Wisdom
Science today is learning to recognize its true place. Whereas scientific conclusions were in the past considered natural “laws” with all the rigid implications of that word, modern science no longer holds such a dogmatic view.
Contemporary scientists now accept the fundamental indeterminism of nature; Heisenberg’s “uncertainty principle” for instance – the unpredictability of both the position and velocity of subatomic particles – is understood as being intrinsic to the entire universe.
This uncertainty does not point to a limitation in our ability to measure, but to an inherent characteristic of nature; the modern scientist, that is, no longer expects to find absolute truth in science.
Wisdom
The wisdom and will of G-d, on the other hand, is absolute and specific, teaching how man should act to take the fullest advantage of himself and the community at large.
Unlike science, G-d’s wisdom is absolute truth, it is not limited by cause and effect.
Wisdom
There are two approaches then in the search for truth: the human search via science and the search via G-d.
There is no question that the universe is guided by a certain logic. At the outset man begins searching for the truth from the “outside in” as it were, trying to understand various phenomena and then piece them together like a jigsaw puzzle to come up with a complete picture.
Scientists and philosophers peer through the outer layers of the universe to discover the forces lying within.
What we are all actually searching for, whether or not we acknowledge it, is G-d, the hand inside the glove.
But if we choose instead to search for the truth from the “inside out” looking directly through the eyes of the creator and abiding by His laws, we begin to gain a more complete understanding of how the world operates and why.
Wisdom
One can say that secular or scientific wisdom deals with what the universe is, while spiritual wisdom deals with why it is and what it means to ones’ life.

Wisdom
True science and true religion, therefore, are two sides of the same coin. The emphasis is on “true” – not a science that denies G-d or a religion that sees science as its enemy.
Both of these attitudes stem from the same flaw: belief that G-d who created the natural universe and its laws cannot coexist with His creation!

Wisdom
Any scientific theory that seems to contradict His laws will ultimately be scientifically proven to be unverifiable even by the most diligent scientific exploration.
Wisdom
Because the world has been so categorically affected by science in recent centuries, today’s scientists and scholars have a great responsibility.
They must teach not only the laws of science but its role – what science is and what it is not.
So the true challenge of science today is not to refute G-d, but to discover how it reflects and illuminates parts of G-d’s mind that have yet to be uncovered.
Only then will science fully become part of the search for truth.
As scholars in the Middle Ages often counseled “Love Plate, love Aristotle, but love truth more than all.”
Chapter 4 What can technology teach us about ourselves?
Wisdom
Everything a person sees or hears is meant to teach us a lesson about life. When we look at technology merely as a source of personal comfort or advancement, we are seeing only the end product. When we look at technology as an expression of G-dliness, though, we are better prepared to understand life itself.
From atomic energy, for instance, we realize the power of every individual being.
We now know that even the smallest bit of matter can release a massive amount of energy. So to does every person’s very core contain enormous power.
How is it released?
By getting to a person very core and shaking him from his contend state.
It is the human equivalent of nuclear fission or fusion – a person inner strengths are released when he is acted upon by the proper combination of force and direction, when we help him live according to the laws of G-d and encourage him to help others do the same.
This creates a chain reaction. Just as the splitting of the first atom triggers other atoms to split, every possible human thrust and every virtuous act creates an energy that can only intensify.
On the other hand, the energy released through negative behavior can be controlled just as an atomic chain reaction can be controlled.
Wisdom
Atomic energy also shows us how the macrocosm of the entire universe is reflected in each of us.
In an atom (according to the planetary model) the various particles orbit around the nucleus, while in the human being, the various material aspects also orbit around a nucleus: our soul.
Wisdom
Finally, we see that an atom ultimately releases far more energy than the amount of energy required to split it.
Not so many years ago, the prospect of producing atomic energy must have seemed painfully complex and expensive, perhaps even futile.
And yet it turned out be highly productive.
We may feel similar reservations on a personal level – wouldn’t it be much simpler to wander though life without imposing on ourselves the demands and responsibilities of a spiritual life?
Perhaps, but then we would waste our own most precious natural resource, leaving our inner potential untapped.
Wisdom
Our sages have described each person as an entire world and the world as a personality in macrocosm.
Indeed the new developments in science show that the world is a dynamic of inseparable interacting components and that the human observer is an integral part of this system.
The universe can no longer be perceived as a series of independent building blocks, for we have discovered that all matter – and therefore all people – is inextricably linked.
Wisdom
One of the most important reverberations of the new physics is that the long accepted idea of scientific objectivity can no longer be upheld.
We now understand that the scientist becomes involved in the world that he observes. He influences the properties of the objects he observes.
His perception of nature, therefore are intimately connected with his own mind, his own idea, and his own value system – all of which are sure to inform the scientific “results” he reaches so any scientist must exercise moral as well as intellectual judgment in his research.

Wisdom
There is much to learn from the technological revolution, as long as we understand its role in our lives and see it as a final step in our dramatic search for unity throughout the universe. After all, developments in science and technology have taught us to be more sensitive to the intangible and the sublime: the forces behind computers, telephones, television, and so on are all invisible, and yet we fully recognize their power and reach. Similarly, we must come to accept that the driving force behind the entire universe is intangible and sublime, and we must come to experience the transcendent and G-dly in every single thing — beginning, of course with ourselves.
Birth – The Mission Begins

Wisdom
Birth Means You Matter
As we forge ahead in our busy lives and grow older and further away from the moment of our own birth, few of us pause to appreciate just how miraculous that moment was.
In order to fully understand ourselves and live a meaningful life, we must return to the very beginning and look at the significance of our birth.
What your birth means is that you are G-d’s chosen one.
Your birth was not an accident; G-d chooses each of us to fulfill a specific mission in this world, just as a composer arranges each musical note precisely.
Each person matters; each person is irreplaceable.
Your life is always leading you towards your destiny, and every single moment is meaningful and precious.
Wisdom
You are G-d’s Investment
Many people seem to feel that because we didn’t choose to enter the world, our birth is a stroke of coincidence or serendipity.
Birth is G-d’s way of saying that He has invested His will and energy in creating you; G-d feels great joy when you are born, the greatest pleasure imaginable, which encompasses the potential for all your future achievements.
Practice and Theory
Attuning Oneself To Our Purpose Creates the Feeling of being Alive
At birth, the soul enters the body, creating a life that sustains itself; an autonomous human being.
A fetus, of course, is a living organism complete with a functioning brain, heart, and limbs. But it is only an extension, albeit a living one, of it mother’s being.
The moment of birth marks the beginning of our mission on earth, which is to transform our material world into a vehicle for spiritual expression and G-dliness.
Life is much more than simple biology. It is about growth, development, and fulfilling our potential.
A person is not fully alive unless he or she is attuned to his or her soul’s higher purpose, unless he or she realizes his or her mission.
Wisdom
Contemplating life’s Purpose
Many of us sense a spiritual side to our lives.
Because we are so busy with our daily lives and so hungry for instant gratification, we forget – or never take the time to learn – why we are here in the first place.
Practice and Theory
True Life
Each of us has a choice: We can merely be biologically alive or we can be truly alive, spiritually alive!
Even as adults we can live the way a fetus does – eating drinking and sleeping, a complete person missing its most vital element – its soul.
Or we can take advantage of our capacity to be spiritually sensitive, and participate in the world.
Wisdom
The Blessing of Birth
There is no greater blessing than the capacity to give birth, for it is the one opportunity we have to truly create, and to create something from our own flesh and blood.
Birth is an utterly mysterious act, the physical creation of something out of nothing.
No matter how technologically advanced we become, the smartest men and women among us will never be able to replicate the mystery of birth.
Because a new child will one day have the power to have children of his own, birth also gives us access to infinity, to eternity.
Practice and Theory
Birthing is Creating
Bearing children, therefore, is our one opportunity to act in a truly G-dlike way, as a true Creator.
Practice
The Awe of Creating
The next time you see a newborn baby, observe their parents. They cannot help but feel immeasurably moved, experiencing a feeling of deep love, a sense of wonder that they were able to create something so awe-inspiring.
Practice and Theory
The Knowledge From Birth
A new parent instantly realizes that life is about much more than our narrow world of vanity.
Suddenly the things that give us such pride – the money we have amassed, the business we have built – all pale in comparison to this simple astounding accomplishment.
Practice and Theory
Realigning our priorities
We don’t create the time to appreciate the constant miracles of life – of which birth is the first.
Whenever a friend or family member has a baby, therefore, we should recognize the birth as an opportunity to think about our priorities and to appreciate the power of the eternal.
We must exercise our responsibility to bring life into this world and to live fulfilled lives.
Practice and Theory
Appreciating the value of Birth
We need to properly appreciate the ability to create life.
Birth is a gift from G-d.
When you have been given this greatest of gifts, the ability to create life, you must not suppress it; just look at all those people who would do anything to have a child.
Suppressing the ability to bear children can also have a negative psychological impact, for human health is dependent on using all our faculties, all our innate emotional and spiritual gifts, especially the power to create life.
Birthdays

Practice and Theory
Recalling Your Foundation
If we are to appreciate the fruits of life, we must first appreciate the tree that bears the fruit: birth itself.
Birth is your beginning. It is a window to the chance of a lifetime; the chance to fulfill your unique mission.
So a birthday is a momentous occasion, to be commemorated just as a nation commemorates its birth or as an organization celebrates its founding.
A birthday is a chance to remember the day that a major event occurred, to celebrate and give thanks and to reflect upon how well we are fulfilling our calling.
Practice and Theory
The renewed capacity for your successful spiritual mission in life
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on our birthday each year: The same energy that G-d invested in you at birth is present once again. It is our duty to be receptive to that spiritual energy.
By committing to a life guided by G-d’s will and by using the abilities and resources we were born with to perfect ourselves and society, and to make the world a good and special home for G-d, we become receptive to the this force.
Practice and Theory
• A birthday is a time to celebrate birth itself, the joy of life.
• A birthday is also an occasion to rethink your life: How great is the disparity between what I have accomplished and what I can accomplish?
• On your birthday think about: Am I spending my time properly or am I involved in things that distract me from my higher calling?
• How can I strengthen the thread that connects my outer (body) and inner (soul) life?
• A birthday can also teach us the concept of rebirth.
• To recall our birthday is to recall a new beginning.
• No matter how things went yesterday, or last year, we always have the capacity to try again.
• Your birthday is a refresher, a chance for regeneration – not just materially but also spiritually.
• On your birthday, gather with family and friends and study something meaningful together.
• There is no better way to celebrate a birthday than to commit to a new special act of goodness.
• It is easy enough to say you are grateful; it is far better to show it. You show your Creator you are grateful by helping out someone else.

Childhood – The Dawn of Life
Practice and Theory
As white as snow!
A child is the most precious gift G-d has given us – a new life, as unmarked as fresh snow, whose parents have been blessed with the opportunity to nurture, protect and teach so that the child becomes a productive and good human being.
Every quality of a child is there for a reason, and must be cultivated.
Every child carries great resources, the potential for the entire future.
How you raise this child will not only influence the child’s life, but his or her children’s lives and their children’s lives ad infinitum.
Practice and Theory
Children – The Greatest Pleasure
In our society we may see childhood as a transitory stage, and children merely as adults in the making.
People sometimes look at childhood and education as a pure investment – some statisticians have even calculated the age at which a person becomes worth more than the amount that was spent on his childhood, care and education.
How we see children very much reflects on how we see ourselves.
If we are overly concerned with our material comforts then a child may seem like a nuisance, interrupting the world we have carefully constructed for our own gratification.
But if we are in touch with the sublime in our lives or at least seek it out, a child’s curiosity and vivacity will enchant us to no end and be a source of the greatest pleasure.
Practice and Theory
More than we can teach our children we can learn from them
It is extremely important to understand children for what they are, not for who we see them as.
Whereas an adult is shaped by man and society, the child is shaped by G-d.
Because of their innocence, their curiosity, and their purity, children stand closer to G-d than an adult.
And so the great secret to childhood is not that our children have much to learn from us, but that we have much to learn from them.
Wisdom
The necessity of the innocence and truthfulness of the childhood years
Have you ever wondered if it might not be easier if we were all created as mature adults instead of as children, fully functional and able to provide for ourselves?
But there is a beautiful lesson in childhood itself – above all, that a child is genuine and innocent, and that such innocence is the foundation of life.
If we were born as adults already prepared for the struggles of life, we would never experience the magic of childhood, the freedom to explore life with your wide open eyes, indiscriminately, unselectively.
Childhood gives us that chance to soar through the sublime before we trudge through the mundane.
Wisdom
Children’s Trust
What do we think when we see a child’s hand reach for her mothers’ and follow her wherever she goes?
We surely don’t need anyone leading us by the hand.
But the child’s receptivity and vulnerability, his simple faith comes from a very deep pure place – from the very essence of the soul, which is receptive to that which is beyond itself.
Wisdom
The Benefit of a Child’s Imaginative Mind
As adults we like to think that we are in control. After all we have spent years developing our ideas and sharpening our minds.
But which is truly more fundamental: an adult’s intellect or a child’s innocence and faith?
Whereas an adult has narrowed his hopes and expectations, a child dreams and wonders.
The same goes for education: a child’s mind is not clouded by the self interest of the adult, concerned only with how he will benefit from a certain idea.
Wisdom
The Magic of Wonder
While educating children, it is vital to cultivate this spirit, this faith, this genuine curiosity.
Otherwise much of the information we impart will be misdirected; instead of allowing a child to experience a sense of awe at G-d and His world, we push him or her to analyze and categorize everything.
Think of a child’s first trip to the Grand Canyon.
Which is more significant: to drink in the sight with awe and think about what it all means, or to boil it down to a pile of data and statistics?
Wisdom
Children are naturally Spiritual
We must be especially attentive to cultivating the G-dliness in children, the awe that comes through spirituality.
Children have a glorious gift for realizing that the here and now, the visible world, is not always what is most important.
Allow a child’s imagination to wander, for it recognizes that we are all part of something greater than ourselves.
Children innately have a deep thirst for the ethereal and the natural sense of wonder and faith that is so receptive to spiritual matters.
Wisdom
Balancing the immaturity and the positive imagination of a child
Still we must remember that a child is vulnerable and impressionable who has been put in our care, entrusted to us for his or her well-being.
We must take into account the two opposing elements of a child’s nature: the curiosity and openness to learn versus a spirit of frivolity; and strive for a balance.
A parent or educator who is too concerned with discipline might rob the child’s free spirit; on the other hand we cannot be so lenient as to let a child wander without direction.
Practice
The most important ingredient in education is truthfulness
The main ingredient in shaping good behavior is truth; these truths, especially about G-d, and about right and wrong, should never be arbitrary.
A child is naturally sincere, and compromising the truth is anathema to sincerity.
A parent’s tentativeness or ambivalence toward the truth will come back to haunt the child; it is vital that a child learn clarity and conviction, which are the roots of every decision a healthy adult will make.
Practice and Theory
How To Treat a Child
Once you fully accept and understand that a child is a gift from G-d, the question of how to treat him or her becomes quite simple.
The child does not belong to you; he or she belongs to G-d!
And G-d entrusted you with the child, coupled with a commandment to protect and nurture.
Children do not need to be taught fear; they have natural fear.
So for example, before punishing a child we must take great care to think: Am I doing this in the best interest of the child, or because he or she made me angry? There is no place for ego in raising a child.
Practice and Theory
A child should never be made to feel fear
A child must be given the right to live his or her childhood free from fear.
Practice and Theory
Encourage good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior
It is always better to encourage good behavior than to have to punish bad behavior.

Even when discipline is necessary, it must be carried out with the utmost sensitivity and love – remember, if you hurt a child you are hurting G-d.
Practice and Theory
Intimidating children is evil
The intimidating of children that masquerades as discipline is an affront to G-d who has asked us to care for these precious souls with sensitivity.
Wisdom
Children should be taught to respect their parents because this is God’s wish
A child should be taught to honor his parents not because they are authority figures, with controlling power over their children, but because it was they whom G-d chose to bring the child into the world.
Wisdom
Learn from a child’s amazement
Beyond innocence there are many other things about children that we would do well to study and learn from.
Consider a child’s pure sense of amazement when he or she discovers something new.
The child may not have the sensory tools to fully comprehend this new experience, but do not be deceived: a child absorbs the experience far more deeply than an adult might.
Wisdom
A child’s mind must be treated with sensitivity and respect

Why is it that we can hardly remember what we read yesterday yet we can remember what we learned in nursery school?
A child’s mind is extremely fertile, and must be treated with sensitivity and respect.
Practice and Theory
A child’s focus

A child is also very single minded, when a child is in the moment he or she is completely immersed in the moment.
An adult will often anticipate and personalize, thinking, where is this conversation heading? What does it mean for me?
A child can teach us to truly focus, to fully absorb the moment as it exists.
Wisdom
Using a child’s egocentricity for the good
Since it seems to a child that his parents and the rest of the universe exist merely to cater to his needs, a child can easily begin to think that he or she is the main focus of life.
The adverse effects of such an attitude are self-evident; indeed, in addition to enhancing our inherent positive qualities, weeding out the negative parts of our base behavior is a main focus of education.
But the child’s egocentric instinct also has a positive side; he is utterly convinced that his existence has meaning and that his deeds have a consequence.
This is one part of childhood that we especially need to cultivate – the conviction that every one of our thoughts and deeds is of real, even global, significance.
Maimonides wrote that a person “Should see the entire world as half good and half evil, so that with a single good deed, he will tip the scales for himself, and for the entire world to the side of merit.”
Wisdom
A Child’s Openness
It is easy to dismiss the simplicity of a child as a mere lack of knowledge.
But such simplicity contains a certain power, an integrity and sincerity that may begin to erode as we rush to acquire wisdom and sophistication.
We may get frustrated when a child cannot keep still, but this activity is a sign of healthy vitality; the external movement is reflective of the internal movement. It expresses a certain restlessness and spiritual angst.
Consider how a child will look at one simple object and ask more questions than we could have ever imagined: Why is it that way? How did it get like that? What is it for?
This questioning, this movement that assumes the form of curiosity, should never be discouraged.
Childhood is the one period in life when a person is free from the concerns of survival; it is the one opportunity to be totally dedicated to learning the value system through which all of life’s experiences will be filtered.
Practice and Theory
Teaching more rather than less
We should never worry about taxing the mind of a child.
We need to be realistic about how much a child can retain, but it is better to be taught more and retain less than to let a part of the mind remain unused.
And, since we haven’t yet discovered the true capacity of a child’s mind to absorb information, a child should embark on a rigorous schedule of study.
Practice
Morality
The first thing a child must be taught, of course, is the foundation of life – the distinction between good and evil, right and wrong.
This gives direction to all his other studies and life choices.
Practice and Theory
Cocooning Meditation
As adults, we should try to re-create the cocoonlike state of childhood.
Take ten minutes out of your day and go back to the state of mind of a child, when you had no material worries, when your only concern was learning how to conduct your life in a productive, meaningful way.
See how refreshing it is to substitute prayer, study, and good deeds for bill-paying, shopping, and running your business.
Practice and Theory
Learning form our children
A child, through his innocence and curiosity has many of the traits that we most crave.
We have been so buffeted by life and so conditioned to think only of ourselves that we lost touch with these beautiful traits.
As is written, “The hearts of the parents will return through their children.”
Once parents have resigned themselves to a certain way of life, they sometimes can’t even consider the possibility of change.
But, because they will do anything for their children in the course of teaching them to lead a meaningful life, parents do indeed stand a chance of changing.
So childhood is not just for the child; it also allows parents to tap the purest part of themselves: their souls.
Especially in our turbulent generation, it is often the children who end up teaching the most profound values to their parents.
Practice and Theory
Teaching and learning from and to children
When you next spend time with your child – or any child – do not be causal about the experience.
Look at the child intently and realize: G-d has given you this gift to nurture and care for; to teach good habits and the difference between right and wrong.
Your attitude toward this child and the sensibilities that you will impart to him will be crucial to how his life develops and how he influences others.
Now how much time can you possibly devote to this enormous responsibility?
And most important of all: Allow your child to be himself and to teach you how to live a more meaningful life.

Practice and Theory
Your child should represent the values of your home
When someone sees your child they should immediately be able to see, that this child is the son or daughter of a religious home.
Birthdays

Practice and Theory
On your birthday do something kind, something that you did not do yesterday.
Do it, not because someone suggests it; But simply because your inner goodness, your soul wants to express its thanks for being born and alive.
Wisdom
Such an act of kindness gives G-d great pleasure, because He sees that the child in whom He invested, the particular child he wanted to be born on a particular day, is living up to its potential.
Of course nothing gives a parent greater joy than to see one of His children helping another.
This is the true experience of birth, the true beginning of a life of meaning.
Childhood – The Dawn of Life
Practice and Theory
As white as snow!
Is there any sight more uplifting more joyous than a child playing with a new toy? We have all seen the child’s wonder as he shakes the toy back and forth, turns it upside down, maybe even tries to taste it.
You may have witnessed this scene hundreds of times, but perhaps you have never really seen it. What is this child?
What you see before you is the most precious gift G-d has given us – a new life, as unmarked as fresh snow, whose parents have been blessed with the opportunity to nurture, protect and teach so that the child becomes a productive and good human being.
Every quality of a child is there for a reason, and must be cultivated.
Every child carries great resources, the potential for the entire future.
How you raise this child will not only influence the child’s life, but his or her children’s lives and their children’s lives.
Practice and Theory
Children – The Greatest Pleasure
In our society we may see childhood as a transitory stage, and children merely as adults in the making.
People sometimes look at childhood and education as a pure investment – some statisticians have even calculated the age at which a person becomes worth more than the amount that was spent on his childhood, care and education.
How we see children very much reflects on how we see ourselves.
If we are overly concerned with our material comforts then a child may seem like a nuisance, interrupting the world we have carefully constructed for our own gratification.
But if we are in touch with the sublime in our lives or at least seek it out, a child’s curiosity and vivacity will enchant us to no end and be a source of the greatest pleasure.
Practice and Theory
More than we can teach our children we can learn from them
It is extremely important to understand children for what they are, not for who we see them as.
Whereas an adult is shaped by man and society, the child is shaped by G-d.
Because of their innocence, their curiosity, and their purity, children stand closer to G-d than an adult.
And so the great secret to childhood is not that our children have much to learn from us, but that we have much to learn from them.
Wisdom
The necessity of the innocence and truthfulness of the childhood years
Have you ever wondered if it might not be easier if we were all created as mature adults instead of children, fully functional and able to provide for ourselves?
But there is a beautiful lesson in childhood itself – above all that a child is genuine and innocent, and that such innocence is the foundation of life.
If we were born as adults already prepared for the struggles of life, we would never experience the magic of childhood, the freedom to explore life with your wide open eyes, indiscriminately, unselectively.
Childhood gives us that chance to soar through the sublime before we trudge through the mundane.
Wisdom
Children’s Trust
What do we think when we see a child’s hand reach for her mothers and follow her wherever she goes.
We surely don’t need anyone leading us by the hand.
But the child’s receptivity and vulnerability, his simple faith comes from a very deep pure place – from the very essence of the soul, which is receptive to that which is beyond itself.
Wisdom
The Benefit of a Child’s Imaginative Mind
As adults we like to think that we are in control. After all we have spent years developing our ideas and sharpening our minds.
But which is truly more fundamental: an adult’s intellect or a child’s innocence and faith?
Whereas an adult has narrowed his hopes and expectations, a child dreams and wonders.
The same goes for education: a child’s mind is not clouded by the self interest of the adult, concerned only with how he will benefit from a certain idea.
Wisdom
The Magic of Wonder
While educating children, it is vital to cultivate this spirit, this faith, this genuine curiosity.
Otherwise much of the information we impart will be misdirected; instead of allowing a child to experience a sense of awe at G-d and His world, we push him or her to analyze and categorize everything.
Think of a child’s first trip to the Grand Canyon. Which is more significant: to drink in the sight with awe and think about what it all means, or to boil it down to a pile of data and statistics?
Wisdom
Children are naturally Spiritual
We must be especially attentive to cultivating the G-dliness in children, the awe that comes through spirituality.
Children have a glorious gift for realizing that the here and now, the visible world, is not always what is most important.
Allow a child’s imagination to wander, for it recognizes that we are all part of something greater than ourselves.
Children innately have a deep thirst for the ethereal and the natural sense of wonder and faith that is so receptive to spiritual matters.
Wisdom
Balancing the immaturity and the positive imagination of a child
Still we must remember that a child is vulnerable and impressionable who has been put in our care, entrusted to us for his or her well-being.
We must take into account the two opposing elements of a child’s nature: the curiosity and openness to learn versus a spirit of frivolity; and strive for a balance.
A parent or educator who is too concerned with discipline might rob the child’s free spirit; on the other hand we cannot be so lenient as to let a child wander without direction.
Practice
The most important ingredient in education is truthfulness
The main ingredient in shaping good behavior is truth; these truths, especially about G-d, and about right and wrong, should never be arbitrary.
A child is naturally sincere, and compromising the truth is anathema to sincerity.
A parent’s tentativeness or ambivalence toward the truth will come back to haunt the child; it is vital that a child learn clarity and conviction, which are the roots of every decision a healthy adult will make.
Practice and Theory
How To Treat a Child
Once you fully accept and understand that a child is a gift from G-d, the question of how to treat him or her becomes quite simple.
The child does not belong to you; he or she belongs to G-d!
And G-d entrusted you with the child, coupled with a commandment to protect and nurture.
Children do not need to be taught fear; they have natural fear.
So for example, before punishing a child we must take great care to think: Am I doing this in the best interest of the child, or because he or she made me angry? There is no place for ego in raising a child.
Practice and Theory
A child should never be made to feel fear
A child must be given the right to live his or her childhood free from fear.
Practice and Theory
Encourage good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior
It is always better to encourage good behavior than to have to punish bad behavior. Even when discipline is necessary, it must be carried out with the utmost sensitivity and love – remember, if you hurt a child you are hurting G-d.
Practice and Theory
Intimidating children is evil
The intimidating of children that masquerades as discipline is an affront to G-d who has asked us to care for these precious souls with sensitivity.
Wisdom
Children should be taught to respect their parents because this is God’s wish
A child should be taught to honor his parents not because they are authority figures, with controlling power over their children, but because it was they whom G-d chose to bring the child into the world.
Wisdom
Learn from a child’s amazement
Beyond innocence there are many other things about children that we would do well to study and learn from.
Consider a child’s pure sense of amazement when he or she discovers something new.
The child may not have the sensory tools to fully comprehend this new experience, but do not be deceived: a child absorbs the experience far more deeply than an adult might.
Wisdom
A child’s mind must be treated with sensitivity and respect

Practice and Theory
Your child should represent the values of your home
When someone sees your child they should immediately be able to see that this child is the son or daughter of a religious home.
Charity and Wealth
The Need To Give
Chapter 1 Why Do We Give Charity?
Wisdom
We all know that charity is considered a virtue.
Wisdom
Charity has become part of the fabric of our lives, of our entire society.
The Unites States in particular, with its humanitarian policies and its generosity in both domestic and foreign aid, has done more to promote charity than any other nation in the world.
Wisdom
Through charity, we introduce unity into a diverse world.
Why do we feel compelled to give charity?
True, charity is the sign of a healthy and humane society, but without understanding why we give charity, why we feel a need to share with others, we are left with a paradox that ultimately limits our generosity: Doesn’t charity go against the very grain of human nature – that is, giving away what is rightfully ours?
And so, we must ask ourselves: Is generosity as much a part of human nature as selfishness?
How do we balance the two?
How can we teach our children to be more charitable?
How often should one give charity, and in what manner?
Should we give anonymously?
And above all, what does charity truly accomplish – for ourselves, for those in need, and for society at large?
Perhaps it would be healthier to simply be charitable without analyzing why, as many people do.
But the better you understand the true dynamic of charity, the more you can cultivate it within yourself, your family, and your friends.
And greater charity can only lead to a more meaningful life.
As is written in Proverbs “One that pursues charity and generosity finds life, righteousness and honor.”
The key to charity lies in understanding that it is not only a gift to the receiver, but to the giver as well.
The need to be charitable is one of the most fundamental human needs we have.
Just as we need food and protection and love, we need to share what has been given to us.
Charity is one of the simplest yet most profound ways to help refine the material world and unite with our fellow man and with G-d – and, therefore, to fulfill our cosmic mission.
Through charity, we introduce unity into a diverse world.
Wisdom
Charity enables us to spiritualize the material, and to actualize our virtuous intentions.
Wisdom
G-d could have easily distributed wealth evenly to all people.
But as the sages say, “If everyone were wealthy or poor, who would be generous?”
Wisdom
Just as G-d continues to give – every fraction of time, every day on earth, charity allows us to give, thus becoming G-dlike ourselves.
Wisdom
Remember: The money you give away is not your own, G-d has lent it to you to allow you the gift of giving.
Wisdom
Those who have been blessed by G-d with the opportunity and privilege to be more giving have actually been blessed with the opportunity to be more G-dlike.
Wisdom
So charity must be given with humility.
If a wealthy person gives arrogantly, thinking that he is doing a great favor, he is sadly mistaken: The favor is being done to him.

Recognizing this fact makes the act of giving charity that much more compelling.

Wisdom

After all, G-d created the universe as an intricate system of give and take; our entire existence revolves around this relationship.
Just as plants, for instance, need the carbon dioxide that humans exhale, humans need the oxygen that plants produce.
Charity is yet one more expression of this pattern: the giver and the receiver need one another.
“More than the rich man does for the pauper,” say the sages, “the pauper does for the rich man.”
Wisdom
Charity is an act of pure justice.
It is true that responsibility for your own life comes first.
But can your own comfort and pleasure be more valuable than your fellow man’s most basic necessities?
Can you pursue the highest levels of intellection and spiritual achievement when your fellowman needs guidance in the most basic of matters?
Chapter 2 What is the Power of Money?
Wisdom
Charity is the greatest act of giving
Of the many forms of charity, the most powerful is monetary.
Wisdom
Why? Because money is how most people measure their self-worth.
Because we invest so much time, energy, and labor into earning money, therefore, it represents the very energy of life itself.
So contributing your money to charity expresses the deepest form of giving and refining this physical world.
Wisdom
It is G-d’s blessing not yours that makes you wealthy
Some people feel that they and they alone are responsible for their success, that their intelligence and abilities brought it about.
This is the challenge of wealth, and a serious challenge it is: to not be deceived by your own ego.
“You must remember that it is G-d who gives you the power to become prosperous.”
Without this recognition, money becomes the ultimate symbol of the selfish ego, our contemporary golden idol.
This is not to say that your success is not a result of your efforts, of course it is.
And you must do everything possible to ensure success, not just sit back and wait for money to come your way.
But you must acknowledge that it is G-d’s blessing, and not your own effort alone, that creates wealth.
As any experienced business person knows, all the planning and hard work in the world are no guarantee for success.
Wisdom
Charity allows us to not be held hostage by our ego’s delusions
The power of charity is such that it does not allow you to become immersed in self-interest.
Wisdom
Charity is the most powerful way to spiritualize the material
Virtuous acts are indeed good, and they elevate the soul, but giving money to charity is the most powerful way to spiritualize the material, for it means giving a piece of everything that we are – our abilities, our efforts, our success, our compassion.
Wisdom
When you put money into perspective and recognize why it was given to you, it becomes a blessing instead of a curse.
On its own money can be a curse.
Because it is the epitome of materialism, money – and wealth – are mercurial by nature.
Money can cause therefore endless anxiety, for no matter how much you have, you are never sure whether you have enough or whether you will not somehow lose it all.
When you put money into perspective and recognize why it was given to you, it becomes a blessing instead of a curse.
And by using your wealth for charitable and philanthropic purposes, which are for posterity, instead of spending it on the desire of the moment, your money becomes eternal.
Chapter 3 How Should One Give Charity?
Practice and Theory
The Many Forms Of Charity
It is important to financially assist those in need, since we live in a material world where only money can buy the necessities in life.
Practice and Theory
But we must not forget that charity goes beyond the monetary.
We can give our time, our counsel, our sympathy.
We can invite a lonely person to dinner; we can give a teenager advice on how to handle a problem.
Practice and Theory
Even if a person has selfish motives when giving charity, or gives reluctantly, the objective has been reached for a needy person has been sustained.
Practice and Theory
Obviously, though, this is not the optimal charity; it is far better to give graciously and wholeheartedly.
It is even better to give anonymously when possible, especially if the donation would embarrass or shame the person in need.
Practice and Theory
The highest form of charity is something that we may not consider charity at all: providing a person with an opportunity so that he or she will no longer need to look to others for help.
Practice and Theory
You may provide a family with food and necessities for an entire year, or ten years or twenty.
This is indeed a gracious and charitable act.
But how much more gracious and charitable it would be to give the head of that family a job, or a loan, or another means to reestablish pride and self-respect, to be able to stand on his own two feet.
Practice and Theory
Needless to say charity must be given according to one’s means; it would be inappropriate, for example, to take out a loan in order to give charity.
Practice and Theory
Everyone, even a poor person, is obligated to give some charity.
Practice and Theory
The traditional amount is one-tenth of one’s income, or even better, one-fifth.
Ideally though, one should give everything to charity.
Wisdom
Charity the Best Investment
When we recognize that G-d’s blessing is the ultimate source of wealth, charity becomes the wisest investment of all.
Practice
If someone is having financial difficulty in his business, he should increase the amount of his charitable contributions in order to increase G-d’s blessings for his wealth.
Wisdom
The sages say “Tithe so that you may become wealthy.”
Wisdom
Charity opens up new channels of wealth from above.
Wisdom
Indeed, before determining how much to bless a person in the future, G-d often watches to see how much he gave of his previous wealth.
Wisdom
Beyond the financial aspect, charity enriches the mind and heart a thousandfold.
Practice and Theory
When you take time for a charitable act, even if it means setting aside an hour or an entire day that you thought you could not afford, you will find that you are rewarded many times over; with the added blessing from your charitable act, you will achieve well more than you could have if you had never lifted your attention – and your spirit – from your own affairs.
Above all, it is important to be a generous person all around.
Whatever the situation, you should give and help appropriately – not because you feel an obligation, but simply because you should strive to be a giver, to be G-dlike.
Wisdom
Charity – the Call of Our Generation
It is the call of our generation to increase charity in every way possible.
Wisdom
We live in times that are more materially prosperous and yet more spiritually impoverished than ever before.
Wisdom
Even the most secure among us are in dire need of love and friendship.
Wisdom
Especially because the United States is such a champion of charity, the citizens of this nation should all be inspired – and inspire others – to make charity a regular part of our lives.
Practice and Theory
When you are blessed with good fortune, you must learn to recognize it as an opportunity for giving not simply for personal gain.
Practice
There are many practical ways to encourage regular charity giving no matter how small it may be.
Place a charity box in the various rooms of your home, in your office, in your car.
Teach your children to give money and time to others.
Companies should cultivate generosity by regularly distributing money and goods that their employees can pass on to those in need, and schools should do the same for their students – a token gesture of a few pennies will do.
Practice and Theory
We must seek out new ways of giving and sharing.
Practice and Theory
Charity – The Need To Give
As long as there are needy people, we remain obligated to help them – not just for their sake, but for ours, because we are givers by nature.
Even if there were not one person on earth in need of a meal or rent money, there will always be room to give encouragement, inspiration and guidance.
Practice and Theory
So look around and ask yourself: What do I have to give that can help another person?
Do not worry that you cannot be as generous as you would like, or that you don’t have the time to spare.
When it comes to giving of yourself, there is nothing too small, and nothing too great.

Education – What, Why, and How We Learn
Chapter 1 Why Education Is Necessary?
Wisdom
The Necessity of Education
If there is one single factor within our control that can directly influence who we are as a people, it is education.
Education is the basis and sustenance of civilization.
In order to produce healthy and wholesome adults, people who will lead selfless and meaningful lives, we must educate our children properly.
Wisdom
True Education
What comes to mind when we see that word, education?
Many of us may conjure up the same picture: twenty or thirty students, their faces scrubbed clean by loving parents, leaning over their desks or tapping into a computer.
There is nothing wrong with that picture – unless we come to think of it as the only picture of education, namely learning skills necessary to make a living.
Education is learning to understand life itself.
What is life?
Life is the recognition of G-d and the mission that He has charged us with – refining ourselves and sanctifying our world; in other words, making ourselves and the world into a better place.
Wisdom
True education is something that reaches deep inside a person, empowering one to use the information absorbed to be more productive from within.
Wisdom
Moral Education
Education means sensitizing yourself, your friends, and your family to an entire world of truth; a commitment to a good, greater than one’s own desires.
Practice
Only once we have begun to instill these ideals in a child, should we go on to teach the tools of survival; the why of education must precede the how.
Wisdom
We teach children mathematics so they can think in an organized fashion and do business.
We teach them the sciences so they can understand the physical properties of the universe they live in.
We teach them languages so they can communicate.
All this is well and good, and certainly important.
But not a single one of these disciplines will affect the way a child will morally act in his daily life.
Wisdom
As we have seen throughout history, it is entirely possible for someone to become proficient in the sciences and put his talents to destructive use.
And when this person is confronted, and told that he should behave according to the will of his Creator, he can often honestly say, “I was taught many things during all my years in school, but never was I taught moral behavior!”
Allowing a child to grow up and choose his or her own set of values—thinking that we must not infringe on individual liberties—is as ludicrous as a parent giving a child the choice of whether or not to get vaccinated.
Practice
Imparting information is but a single and rather simple component of education.
A true education—an education for life—consists of teaching children that they have an uncompromising responsibility to G-d, to live morally and ethically, which will sustain them individually and create a better world for their children and for generations to come.
Practice and Theory
The Paradox of Childhood
Education also means dealing with the paradox of childhood.
On one hand, a child lacks the ability to truly tell right from wrong, much less the maturity to choose good for its own sake and reject evil simply because it is evil.
On the other hand, it is during childhood that a person’s psyche and character are shaped.
So children must be taught good habits, to know right from wrong, well before they ever set foot in a school.
As a person grows older and his or her values and personality are engraved it becomes increasingly difficult to affect that person’s outlook.
Practice and Theory
Education is for adults too
As education is life itself, it never ends.
While formal education may stop once we finish school, education itself should actually intensify as we become more experienced in life and gain a deeper understanding of our place in the universe.
No matter how old we are or how intellectually enlightened we become, we must always ask ourselves: How deep is my understanding of an inner meaningful life?
How happy am I?
Many of us might be surprised to discover how tenderly young we are in our spirituality, how much more we have to learn about our own soul and how we have yet to develop a mature relationship with God.
Chapter 2 How We Should Educate
Practice
The methodology of education LOVE
The question of how to educate is really the same as asking, How should we communicate? How should we do business? How should we live?
The answer is always the same: through Love!
Practice
Without love, education is at best incomplete and at worst destructive.
Practice
Love means sensitivity – not to your ideas and your standards, but to your student’s and, most important to G-d’s.
Practice and Theory
True Education is instilling Responsibility To God and Society
A child must be made aware of an existence greater than himself and far beyond his drives and desires, his family and friends, his school and his play.
Such an education is rigorous, demanding intellectual and emotional stamina.
But as young people grow familiar with G-d and acquire an aptitude and intellectual taste for the spiritual, they become attuned to their higher purpose in life.
They become children who relate to their parents with respect and affection.
Children who will not take property that doesn’t belong to them.
Children who reach out to help others, and are generous with their time and love.
Practice and Theory
True education supplies not the information, but the ability to gather information
Education consists of several components, the most basic of which is the transfer of information.
But we must remember, information, is only a tool that we put in a child’s hands; just as there is much more to constructing a house than having the right tools and materials, there is much more to education than having the right information.
The true educator is not one who simply teaches facts, but one who teaches a child to think for himself – to find answers to his own questions based on the principles he was taught, and not be solely dependent on a teacher or a parent to solve a dilemma.
If your answers are constantly supplied by someone else, you may have the comfort of never having to take responsibility for a mistake; But if you learn to think for yourself, you receive the deep satisfaction of having acted on your own initiative.
This is consistent with why G-d created the universe: not so puppets could play out a predetermined script, but so that each individual would have the desire, the freedom, to act honestly and virtuously.
Practice and Theory
Teaching Requires Humility
Teaching also requires humility.
Remember; a teacher is not the source of the information, but a vehicle for information that comes from a greater place.
A teacher must not be arrogant in dispensing this knowledge, but should feel blessed with the opportunity to introduce the student to Divine wisdom.
Practice and Theory
Teaching is primarily Role-Modeling Integrity
Above all, remember this: Words that come from the heart enter the heart.
As a teacher, you must mean what you say, and you must be a living example of what you teach.
Children often cannot distinguish between an idea and behavior, and if you show them that you can behave contrary to what you teach, you are undermining the entire process.
Telling a child, in effect, “Do as I say and not as I do,” is also an education – of a negative kind.
Practice and Theory
Individualized Education
In it is written in Proverbs that we should “educate a child according to his way” so that, as he matures, “he will not depart from it.”
But why the child’s way?
Isn’t knowledge objective?
How can we customize knowledge for each child?
Will that not cause education to become, in a sense, arbitrary?
Of course, there are absolutes in the value system that G-d has given us.
But true education must be sensitive and apply these absolute values to each child individually, for each child has his own way and his own strength.
Practice and Theory
Special Needs
Especially special-needs children deserve a personal catered education to their unique “handicap.”
No matter what difficulties a child may posses, it is incumbent upon us to educate that child with as much care and sensitivity as any other child, if not more – for if there is ever a child who needs individual attention to achieve his or her potential, it is the “handicapped” child.
When we lovingly apply ourselves to their education, we will be gratified to discover that they have far greater abilities than we could have ever imagined.
Practice and Theory
Relevance
For any child, a teacher must pinpoint and draw out that child’s strengths, not the strengths we think he should posses.
The goal is for a child to grow into an adult who can stand on his own feet, not on your feet.
We often think that if we teach absolute dogmatic values, then a child will undoubtedly perpetuate that value system.
That is only half the story.
Yes, those values must be expressed, but in the child’s language, so that they become a part of the child, integrated with his personality, instilled in his spirit.
Chapter 3 On Becoming an Educator
Practice
A teacher who is too harsh, who thinks that he or she is in large part a disciplinarian, will never teach a child well, for the bedrock of education is love.
Practice and Theory
If you feel that you are in competition with a child, do not be a teacher, because the child is not your equal.
Whether you are a teacher or a parent, G-d has entrusted you to teach the child well and to treat the child well.
The respect and awe we must have for a child is no different from the respect and awe we must have for G-d Himself.
Practice and Theory
Isn’t it difficult to deal with children, to patiently cope with their inattention, their discipline problems, and the chaos?
Wouldn’t it be more convenient to develop a career that would be more lucrative and lead to recognition by your peers?
Or perhaps, do something that involves personal growth, whether it be music or art or writing?
If education were nothing but the process of imparting information, the answer to these questions might be yes.
But because education is far more than that, because education is life itself, the reason why we should teach, extends directly from why we should live.
Because life is a continuous education for all of us, teaching is a lifelong obligation and responsibility for all of us.
We should not look upon this as a burden, for the very act of teaching is a vital ingredient in our own education.
Wisdom
Your students, who really include anyone with whom you communicate – sharpen your tools of communication and introduce you to a new dimension beyond your own experience.
In order to reach a student whose mind is less developed than your own, you must reach deeper into your own mind and heart – and the farther you want to reach out – the farther you must reach within.
Wisdom
Even if there were not so many advantages to being an educator, it would be well worthwhile, for what greater gift is there, what greater act of love, than to have the opportunity to help shape a person for the rest of his or her life?
Chapter 4 How this generation must be educated
Practice and Theory
Constant Vigilance
Because a child is impressionable, he or she will be influenced by whatever is around him.
Children today are inundated by many influences that are detrimental to proper education.
After fighting through all the modern day distractions – whether it be television or the internet or the lure of drugs – there is precious little time to cultivate our children’s minds and hearts and souls.
It is not enough to send your children off to school with a packed lunch; education is a full time duty.
We must always be as vigilant as when the child was a newborn – always on the alert, always ready to serve the child’s spiritual needs.
Wisdom
In G-d We Trust
Why do the Ten Commandments, which include moral laws, begin with “I am your G-d”? Because without the acceptance that morality is derived from G-d, morality – and therefore education – is guided by nothing more than human whim and conscience.
History has shown us that a society can be extremely well educated and yet, if not guided by G-d’s precepts (e.g. Nazi Germany,) it may be steeped in malevolence.
Practice and Theory
What your child learns is society’s responsibility
Establishing a system of morally sound education is one of the primary responsibilities of society.
To hand off such a responsibility to a group of administrators is both ineffective and neglectful.
While there must be a certain group of people whose primary responsibility it is to implement education, each member of society must take an active role.
For parents of young children especially, the responsibility is clear.
Think how disturbed we would be to learn about a parent who had a sick child but refused to take the child to a doctor.
If that is the case for the child’s body, shouldn’t we feel the same concern for a child’s mind, for his soul?
And yet, because of the heavy workload of so many parents now today, our schools have assumed much greater responsibility.
There was a time when basic values were taught at home while schooling served primarily to give children the skills for a career.
Many parents now depend on the schools to teach their children both skills and values.
This underscores the great need for schools to establish moral curricula.
Especially today, children as well as adults are longing to learn about higher values.
We need to appreciate this receptivity and respond to it with the most effective aggressive educational campaign possible.
Practice and Theory
The Imperative To Bring G-d Back into The Educational System
Why has the moral fabric of this country (U.S.A.) deteriorated so badly?
Because children are no longer taught about G-d.
From its inception the United States has been the refuge for millions of people of every religion who fled their homelands so they could worship freely.
It was in such a spirit that we used to educate our children.
Then a slow but devastating process began that often resulted in diluting and, ultimately, eliminating an education based on our personal responsibility to G-d.
The old battle between G-d and science extended into one between G-d and education.
That is one of the primary reasons for much of today’s moral deterioration, and that is why there is no choice but to return to an educational philosophy in which we teach children not just the value of a mathematical equation, but the value of their souls.
Practice
Remember it is children who can best relate to simplicity and the essence of G-d.
Do not project your own skepticism onto children.
Children, unlike adults, do not chew over every piece of new information until its essence is diluted or distorted; they just listen and absorb – which is why they learn so well.
Practice and Theory
An Important Check List To See If We Are Living Up To Our Responsibility As Parents Regarding Education
We must look at our children and tell ourselves again and again: Here is a fertile soul, an open heart and mind that I have been given by G-d to nurture and teach.
This child’s life will affect many others, and I must teach him as best I can.
Will G-d and society be pleased with the job I have done?
Youth – The Fire Of Life
Chapter 1 What Is Youth?

Wisdom

Think back to the time when you first understood the sheer power of fire: It both amazed and frightened you.
When it is under control, fire betters our life in countless ways, many of which we have come to take for granted.
But when we don’t have it under control, a raging fire destroys everything in its path.
A young person is like fire.
With direction and guidance, he or she can change the very shape of the world.
Without direction, the fires of youth are wasted at best, while at worst can become a dangerous and destructive force.
To lead a meaningful life means harnessing the fires of youth.
To do so, we must first understand the purpose of youth itself; for all G-d creates is with profound intent.
The period of youth is an odd one by nature, nestled between childhood and adulthood.
A teenager is no longer content to play like a child but doesn’t have the knowledge and experience to fully engage in adult pursuits.
Young people begin to experience many of the frustrations and yearnings of an adult, but may lack the maturity to deal with them.
Teenagers have plenty of time on their hands, yet contemporary society is far better at providing ways to waste this time than spend it productively.
Youth is one of the most precious periods in a persons life, and yet one of the most difficult.
These various tensions within young people create a unique, untamed energy, the energy of life itself.
Young people are not looking for comfort, they are seeking a meaningful cause.
They are overflowing with a mixture of adrenaline and confidence – “I want to change the way the world works” “I can change the world” young people often think.
Adults, burdened with the pressures of everyday life, may resign themselves to the world the way it is, but young people unhindered by the realities of adulthood, do not tolerate such resignation.
This often causes conflict between the two groups: Young people abhor the status quo while adults’ lives revolve around it.
So what we have here, in the most general terms, is either energy without sufficient direction or direction without sufficient energy.
Many adults simply throw up their hands, writing off youth as a rebellious period that a person outgrows.
Young people, meanwhile, often think that adults have forgotten how to appreciate the very meaning and thrill of life.
Youth are rebellious, and adults see the rebellion as an aberration, or even one step short of a crime.
But rebellion is not the crime; the crime occurs when the rebellion has no healthy outlet.
Rebellion, in fact, can be the healthiest thing for a human being – an undiluted energy that inspires a person to not give up easily, to refuse to tolerate injustice, to not go along with an idea just because everyone else is thinking it.
Depriving a young person of an outlet to release this energy can cause deep pain and anxiety.
Think about the steam that builds up in a turbine – without a safety valve, it is bound to explode sooner or later.
The worst thing we can do with a young person’s spiritual or psychological energy is to bottle it up; in fact, we must do everything we can to tap this energy, to focus it and channel it properly.
Chapter 2 What Does The Rebellion of Youth Really Mean?
Practice and Theory
Channeling the rebellion positively
The sound of youthful rebellion is the sound of youthful energy crying out, searching for guidance.

For adults, the challenge is to help turn the cry into a strong sure voice. “Yes” we must tell our young people “take that energy, do try to change the world for the better.

Don’t accept the status quo.

Don’t stand by and tolerate injustice.”
Practice and Theory
The message that we as adults must covey to young people is “each of us was put on earth to accomplish G-d’s mission by living a spiritually meaningful and productive life!”

Young people are searching for a reason that makes life meaningful.

They may not articulate is so clearly, but that is why their souls cry out.

They become seriously disillusioned with the hollowness they see in their parent’s pursuits, and they sense that without a greater purpose, life is just an unprecedented series of events.

They are busy looking around the world, trying to figure out where they fit in, what they are supposed to accomplish with their own lives.

The answer is clear, each of us was put on earth to accomplish G-d’s mission by living a spiritually meaningful and productive life, and this is the message that we as adults must covey.

Because this message is not being transmitted today, we are seeing an unprecedented level of rebellion and disillusion among our youth.

Practice and Theory
Understanding the Sixties hippies Movement

It is true, especially in this country, that youthful rebellion has led to extremes that in themselves were unhealthy.

But why did the rebellion come about in the first place?

Because young people were saying to their parents “No, we will not be happy with the creature comforts you are passing on to us. We want something deeper. We want a world with meaning and a value system. We want a G-d.”

Wisdom
Cherishing youthful sensibilities

The cry of youth comes from a very pure place, and the idealism of a young person, no matter how outrageous it may seem to adult sensibilities, should be cherished.

Just as the human body’s immune system will reject a foreign substance, the soul of a youth will reject the hollow spirit of falseness.

Adults must learn to listen to the cry of youth and give it a real and true answer.
Practice and Theory
Talk

Think: When was the last time you had a heart to heart talk with a younger person about the real issues of life?

A talk about our place in the world and what we are supposed to do with our life?

A talk that honestly looked at pain and failure, at joy and success.

We need to all sit down calmly with our families, with our young people and talk about life and aspiration.

Practice
What to Talk About

For communication to be effective, it must be sincere and it must be consistent; it cannot surface only in times of crises.

Instead of playing or languishing all weekend, designate an hour or two just to speak or take a walk together.

Talk about values, about the difficult decisions that any young person must face.

Talk about G-d, about morality, about how pure intellect is limited unless it is supported by a system of higher values.

Talk about charity, about selflessness, about why we are here and where we are headed.

Practice and Theory
An Unbeatable Relationship

The relationship between an adult and a young person need not be an antagonistic one; by nature, in fact, it should be symbiotic.

From the young person, an adult learns to reawaken himself to the raw power of the soul, and to access that power within himself.

From the adult, a young person learns that there is no substitute for experience and the judgment it brings.

Teenagers should be especially eager to partner their energy with the elderly, who have lived long enough to no longer be in competition with young people.

As is written in Deuteronomy (Devarim) “Ask your father and he will tell you; Ask your grandfather and he will relate to you.”

In any case, the wisdom of an adult and the passion of a young person are an unbeatable combination.
Chapter 4 How should the energy of Youth Be Channeled?

Wisdom
The Soul Unites

Understanding this combination of youthful passion and adult wisdom goes a long way towards closing the so-called generational gap.

Why is there a generation gap?

Not because parents and children don’t care for each other, but because they see themselves as distinct individuals divided by materialistic boundaries, with different attitudes and interests, different social groups, different priorities.

There is no getting around the fact that a sixty year old person, perhaps on the verge of retirement, and that a twenty year old just about to embark on an adult life, have different goals.

They indeed seem to have little in common if we base our outlook on day to day materialistic activities.

What they do have in common, though, is a soul, and a soul is not affected by age.

Wisdom
Uniting Under A Common Banner and Cause

The key to solving the generation gap is learning to focus on a mission that will create continuity from generation to generation.

It is not a matter of finding common ground to talk about; it is about finding common ground to walk on.

Adults and young people are in exactly the same situation: We all need to temper our materialistic pursuits and worries, in order to pursue a meaningful life.

“We were put here together – you as a younger person and I as an older person – because G-d wanted me to learn from you and you from me” we must say to our youth.

Wisdom
Youthful rebellion is a soul seeking G-d

Never before have we witnessed such a restlessness in our youth as today.

Never before has the energy of youth, having no place to vent itself, exploded so loudly and so often.

Never before have young people been so hungry for meaning – and many of today’s adults have retained that hunger from their own youth.

To satisfy this hunger, we must first recognize that it is not material but spiritual in nature.
And that only spirituality can feed spiritual hunger.

Practice and Theory
A New Way Of Communicating

If we truly desire a serious change in our youth, we must first enact a serious change in our adult attitudes.

We need to find a new way of talking to young people.

In a relationship between an older person and a younger person, whether it is parent and child, or teacher and student, failure to communicate is always the fault of the one who knows more, not the one who knows less.

You didn’t find the right words, or perhaps you weren’t speaking from the heart.

To blame a student for failing to learn is like blaming a baby for crying – the baby is crying out of need, and that need can only be satisfied by the more knowledgeable and experienced person.

Practice and Theory
Arming Our Children With Spiritual Weapons To Fight Their and The World’s Demons

No one is questioning the intentions of parents who have trouble with their children; the problem lies in the weapons in which we arm our young people.

To fight a spiritual war they must be equipped with spiritual weapons.

Remember, no person is ever lost, everyone can be reached.

No matter how rebellious and disillusioned a young person may be, he has a soul and connected to that individual soul, a distinct mission from G-d.

This is the first lesson young people must learn – that their lives include a higher purpose, that they must use their youthful energy for good and moral ends.

Wisdom
We Must Equip Our Youth With The Tools To Transform The World For Good

The fire of youth must be used not just to build careers but to build homes and communities based on love and giving.

The hope for real change in this country (USA) and throughout the world rests on youth, and today’s leaders must recognize this fact.

But we must also recognize that a young person by nature is restless and inexperienced.

So it is the responsibility and privilege of adults to provide young people with a blueprint, a spiritual guide to life – which consists of God’s wisdom and His instructions of how to best lead a meaningful life.
Practice and Theory
The Best Defense is Offence

The timing is right to launch an all out offensive against any complacency and indifference.

It is not sufficient to wait for problems to arise, because no matter how valiantly we fight, we will only be attacking the symptom of the problem, and not the cause.

The key is to take the offensive, to generate a spiritual revolution against the tide of material pursuits, to reintroduce G-d into our daily lives.

Practice
Harnessing The Power of Youth

Today’s youths should be encouraged to create a true revolution – a revolution of virtue and integrity.

They should fight not simply out of duty, but with the zeal of someone in search of a truly significant life.

In a positive way, the young should be role models of goodness – by storming the halls of vanity and selfishness.

By rebelling against injustice and hypocrisy.

By insisting that each one of us can and must make a difference.

Young people should spread this message by publishing student newspapers, by establishing charitable groups, by taking advantage of modern technology, to reach as many people as possible.

With their combination of sincerity, conviction, and energy they can influence countless hearts and minds with a message of hope and truth.

Should we extinguish the fires of youth because of their potency?

Never!

We should constantly encourage our young people: “You are our hope, our most precious natural resource.”

G-d gives us all a second chance though our offspring.

Somewhere along the way, our society convinced us that prosperity would solve all life’s problems, but we have been bluntly reminded by the rebellion of youth that we need soul more than we need money, that we need meaning more than we need success.

So we must tell our young men and women: “You are as alive as fire. If you complement your flame of youth with a sense of focus and urgency, you have the power to move worlds.”
Aging and Retirement
Regeneration and Dignity

Chapter 1 Retirement from What?

Wisdom
You have worked very hard for many years.

As your physical faculties weaken, shouldn’t you be slowing down?

Hasn’t the time come to reap the rewards of life?

Society’s solution, of course, is retirement.

But have we considered the effects of retirement on our spirits?

Why are so many of our elderly so unhappy?

Why do they experience such emptiness in their lives?

All of us, if we are fortunate, will grow old.

Should we look toward that time with enthusiasm or with dread?

Practice and Theory

Before contemplating the later years of your life, you must ask yourself a basic question about life itself.

Why am I here?

Your attitude toward aging and retirement will depend on how you answer that question.

Wisdom
Recognizing the Soul

You may believe that the primary objective of life is to take advantage of its material possibilities and live as comfortably as you can.

If so, you might think that you will be content to live out your later years in as much comfort as you can afford.

You might see the last years of your life as a time to enjoy the just deserts of a long life of labor.

But why then, do you often have a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction of spending your days in leisure?

Because you were not created to live on earth in a purely material existence; you were put on earth by G-d to refine this material world with truth and virtue.

Practice and Theory
Introducing G-dliness into your every moment is your life’s mission and it lasts our entire life.

Wisdom

If we were to measure life solely in terms of material gain and productivity, then we would inevitably see the physical weakening of old age as a liability.

But because man is primarily a spiritual being whose true wealth is measured in intellectual, emotional and spiritual gains, we recognize that the soul is the primary force in life.

And the soul, unlike the body, never ages; it only grows.

Practice and Theory

As one ages, therefore he should not decrease this level of activity, for spiritually he is growing ever stronger.

Practice and Theory

Unfortunately society has taught us to see success in material terms – to think that a millionaire regardless of his spiritual wealth is somehow superior to a poor man who is truly wise.

We must retrain the way we think; to define success in the more sublime terms of ability and competence, wisdom and experience.

Because man was created to spiritualize the material world, the only way to reach true happiness is through spiritual growth and achievement.

And that means giving to others, loving and sharing.

Practice and Theory

Recognizing the prominence of your timeless soul.

This is the key to understanding the aging process, the key with which we open the door of opportunity in our twilight years.

Wisdom

Human productivity is a direct result of human creativity, and human creativity is a direct result of the spiritual energies of the soul.

Practice and Theory

“Every person was created to work” as the sages say.

However this energy takes on different forms in our life cycles.

So as one ages and his physical strength wanes, his toil and productivity need to be expressed through spiritual achievements.

So if a human being reaches a certain age, whether it is fifty-five or sixty-five or seventy-five, and suddenly announces, “I’m going to retire,” the question must be asked “Retire from what?

Ambition? Creativity? From your soul?

Such an attitude means that you are simply preparing to die, which is unacceptable for a person who comes into this world with a mission to produce.

One does not retire from life.

Wisdom

The argument for retirement is an erroneous one.

It assumes that our goal in life is to amass the right amount of wealth so that we can shut down our productivity at a certain age and revel in our material success and free time.

We should never abandon the world of work and productivity for a world of inactivity, a world that doesn’t challenge us, a world that isolates us from our spiritual quest.

Chapter 2 Where Do Our Attitudes on Aging Come From?

Wisdom
Aging – Blessing or Curse

Each phase of life, of course, has a unique set of characteristics and needs.

That is why we must take great care in educating a child, for his mind is so impressionable;
that is why we must properly channel the fiery spirit of young people, for it is so strong;
that is why we develop careers and raise families during middle ages, because we have by then achieved the necessary blend of maturity and ability.

So too does the twilight of our lives have its inherent strength.

Sometimes, of course, modern society makes us forget this.

Think about how we constantly celebrate the image of youth, how it has come to stand for everything that is energetic and desirable.

This has an obvious demoralizing effect on the elderly and by extension on society in general.

If we value the physical vitality of youth more than the intelligence and wisdom – more than the spiritual vitality, of an experienced soul, what does that tell us about all our standards?

Wisdom

So there are two vastly divergent views on aging – that is “You are old and worn out thus useless” versus “You are wise and experienced thus indispensible.”

Wisdom

The Bible assures us that old age is a virtue and a blessing.

Wisdom

We are told to respect the elderly regardless of their scholarship and piety.

For each year of life yields wisdom and experience that the most accomplished young person cannot possibly yet posses.

Wisdom

In many societies today old age has come to be a liability.

Youth meanwhile is considered the highest credentials in every field from business to government, where a younger generation insists on learning from its own mistakes instead of standing on the shoulders of their elders.

Wisdom

At fifty a person is considered “over the hill” and is already enduring the insinuations that his job might be better filled by someone twenty five years younger.

Wisdom

Society, in effect is dictating that ones later years be marked by inactivity and decline.

The aged are encouraged to move to retirement villages and nursing homes; after decades of achievements they are thought to be of little use, their knowledge and talent suddenly deemed worthless.

Wisdom

If a person’s physical strength has waned while his wisdom and insight have grown, do we consider this an improvement or a decline?

Wisdom

If a person’s priorities in life are material, then the body’s physical weakening means a deterioration of spirit as well – a descent into boredom.

But when one regards the body as an accessory to the soul, the very opposite is true.

The spiritual growth of old age invigorates the body, and the later years allow us to positively reorder our priorities which is difficult to do during middle age when the quest for material gain is at its peak.

Wisdom

The idea of retirement is rooted in society’s notion that life is composed of productive and non productive periods.

The first twenty or thirty years of life are seen as a time when a person training for a productive life.

The next thirty to forty years are when his creative energies are realized; he begins to return what has been invested in him by his now passive elders, and in turn begins investing in the still passive younger generation.

Finally, as he enters his later years, he puts his period of “real” achievement behind him.

If a creative urge sill strikes, he is advised to find some harmless hobby to fill his time.

Indeed, time has become something to be filled. In a sense, he has come full circle to childhood, once again.

Wisdom
Every day is purposeful

The time to passively enjoy the fruits of one’s labor does indeed have its time and place – in the world to come.

Wisdom

The very fact that G-d has granted a person a single additional day of bodily life means that he or she has not yet concluded his or her mission in life, that there is still much to achieve in this world.

Wisdom

A hardworking adult may nostalgically remember childhood as a time of freedom from responsibility and toil.

As we grow, however, we disdain such “freedom,” wanting to do something real and creative.

Similarly, the promise of a “happy retirement” is a cruel myth. For we know true happiness only when we are creatively contributing to our world.

The weakened physical state of old age, therefore, is not a sentence of inactivity, but a challenge to find new, and superior means of achievement.

Chapter 3 What Steps Should The Elderly Take For Themselves?

Practice and Theory
Transforming a curse into a Blessing
We must always remember that, spiritually, we are all united.

The soul of a seventy year old shares the same spiritual space as that of a seven year old or twenty seven year old.

And so just as the seven year old must learn that his decisions greatly affect the elderly, the elderly themselves must recognize their role.

Practice and Theory

That role is not a passive one, in fact the later years of life are filled with opportunities that may have totally escaped our sight until we are upon them.

Practice and Theory

Just because we stop going to work every day does not mean that we stop using our body and soul to fulfill our G-dly mission.

Practice and Theory

The same energy that you once spent worrying about your competition or planning your business can now be devoted to projects that you never had time for, projects that shine a light of goodness on those around you.

Remember the experience of an older man and woman – whether in business in civic matters or in the home – is priceless.

Practice and Theory

Even before society begins to appreciate the value of age, the elderly must take their lives into their own hands

Practice and Theory

The elderly must learn to exercise their own convictions as strongly as modern society exerts its own considerable force.

Practice and Theory

Do not therefore feel defeated by your age and its physical effects.

Do not heed those who say that you are less useful because you are less physically strong than you once were.

Do not listen to those who claim that nothing more is expected of you than leisurely walks and playing golf, than spending your days and years doing nothing.

Practice and Theory

Our twilight years are just what the name implies – the beautiful culmination of a day well spent.

In childhood, we peek into an uncertain future, eager to learn, but inexperienced and dependent on others.

In the twilight years, we look back at what we have learned, confident and eager to impart this wisdom unto others.

Just as you may need a younger person helping hand in your physical life, that person needs your helping hand in his spiritual life.

Practice and Theory

Retirement, mandatory or otherwise is a fact of modern life.

Year after year, it condemns valuable human resources – indeed our most valuable human resources – to a state of stagnation.

What is one to do in the face of such human and social tragedy?

Should one embark on a campaign to change this practice and the value system behind it, or should one look for the brighter side of retirement?

Indeed we must do both:

We must change the attitudes of society’s leaders, but we must also change the elderly’s perception of themselves.

We must tell them:

Not only are you not useless but you are a greater asset to society than ever before.

Practice and Theory

At the same time:

We must exploit the opportunities of retirement.

For those men and women seeking to fill their time constructively, let us establish study centers in every community, and let us set up classes and workshops in every nursing home and retirement village.

Education like productivity is a lifelong endeavor.

Such an intensive pursuit of prayer and study will illuminate the elderly’s self worth and potential, transforming them from cast asides into beacons of light for their families and communities.

Indeed if properly utilized, retirement can become one of the most productive periods in a long life.

Chapter 4 How Can The Elderly Access The Fire Of Their Young Souls?

Practice and Theory
Practical Methods For The Elderly To Access The Fire Of Their Souls

We must remember that no matter how weak our bodies may become, the soul still remains strong, constantly yearning for nourishment.

You should nourish your soul by setting aside a special time each day to study and pray, to feed your mind and heart.

You should also designate time to share your experiences with younger people, and encourage others to do the same.

If you are sincere in your effort to communicate, a younger person will recognize the validity of what you have to say, and make a genuine effort to respond.

Spend time with your grandchildren and share your life with them.

Gently educate them in the priorities of life that only you can impart.

Simply love and enjoy them, and allow them to love and enjoy you.

Wisdom
Your Soul Heals Your Body

More and more medicine is teaching us that our physical health is dependent on our spiritual health.

Wisdom

Do not succumb to your body’s voice, or to the discouraging voices around you.

Remember that age is dignity, that age is wisdom.

Physical strength may be ephemeral but good deeds are eternal.

And every good deed ultimately affects the entire world.

Practice and Theory
Take a New Look

It is time to take a new look at the elderly.

To take a new look at retirement.

To take a new look at the very essence of life.

Of all people, it is perhaps the elderly who most need – and who can best teach us all – to lead a meaningful life.

Death and Grieving
Life’s Ultimate Transition

Chapter 1 What Does Death Really Mean?

Wisdom
Death is the elevation of the Soul to a more sublime existence

Death: The very word strikes fear in people’s heart.

They consider death as unfathomable as it is inevitable.

They are barely able to talk about it, to peer beyond the word itself and allow themselves to contemplate its true implication.

This is an understandable reaction, given the fact that so many people think of life as nothing more than a state in when the human body is biologically active.

But we must ask ourselves: What happens after death if anything?

What does death really mean?

How should the surviving loved ones react?

The mystery of death is part of the enigma of the soul and life itself; understanding death really means understanding life.

During life as we know it, the body is vitalized by the soul; upon death there is a separation between body and soul.

But the soul continues to live on as it always has, now unfettered by the physical constrains of the body.

And since a person’s true character – his goodness, virtue, and selflessness – lies in the soul, he will ascend to a higher state after fulfilling his responsibilities on earth.

Wisdom

Modern physics has taught that no substance truly disappears, that it only changes form, that matter is another form of energy.

A tree for instance, might be cut down and used to build a house, or a table or a chair.

Regardless of how the form changes the wood remains wood.

And when that same wood is burned in a furnace, it again changes form becoming an energy that gives off heat and gas.

The tree, the chair and the fire are all merely different forms of the same substance.

If this is the case with a material substance, it is even more so with a spiritual substance.

The spiritual life force in man, the soul, never disappears; upon death, it changes from one form to another higher form.

This may be difficult to comprehend at first, since we are so dependent on using our sensory tools to get through life.

With wood, for example, it is easier to hold a chair in our hands than to grasp the heat and energy released from burning wood, and yet, the heat is no less real than the wooden chair.

As we become more attuned to spiritual thinking and energy, we learn to relate to the reality of the spirit, and its elevation upon death and release from the body to a purer form of spiritual energy.

Wisdom

No matter what physical ailments might befall a person, they are just that, physical ailments.

Nothing that happens to the flesh and blood diminishes in any, the soul’s power, which is purely spiritual.

Wisdom

It is inappropriate to use the term “afterlife” to define what happens after death.

“Afterlife” implies that we have entered another, separate place, whereas death is actually a continuation of life as we know it only in a new higher form.
Wisdom

The chapter in Genesis discussing the death of Sarah, is called “The life of Sarah.”

The chapter discussing the death of Jacob is called “And Jacob Lived.”

Wisdom
The Soul Is Immortal

Before we can truly answer the question “What is death?” we need to first ask “what is life?”

By medical definition life takes place when ones brain and heart are functioning.

Yet a person can be biologically alive but not alive at all; breathing and walking and talking are only manifestations of what we call life.

The true source of life, the energy that allows the body to function, is the soul.

And the soul, because it is connected to G-d, the giver of life, is immortal.

Wisdom

While the manifestations of life may cease upon death, the soul lives on, only in a different form.

Wisdom

How can a mortal human being, connect to eternal life?

By living a material life that fuses body and soul, thereby connecting to G-d.

A person who transforms his or her body into a vehicle for love and generosity is a person who nurtures his or her eternal soul.

Wisdom

It is by giving life to others that one becomes truly alive.

Wisdom

To a person for whom life consists of material gains, death indeed represents “the end.”

It is the time when all fleeting achievements come to a halt.

But to a person for whom life consists of spiritual gains, life never ends.

The soul is fueled by the inexhaustible energy of the good deeds a person performed on earth and it lives on materially through his or her children and the others who perpetuate his or her spiritual vitality.

As the sages say “Just as his descendants are alive, he, too, is alive.”

Wisdom
How The Soul Continues To Live After Death On Earth

We often have a difficult time distinguishing between biological life and spiritual life, or true life.

We are distracted by the many material trappings of biological life.

Once the soul leaves the body, though, we can clearly see how it lives on, how that soul continues to inspire people to perform good deeds, to educate and help others, to live G-dly and spiritual lives.

It is when a righteous person physically leaves the earth that he or she begins to exert the most profound influence.

Chapter 2 What Does Death Mean For The Survivors?

Wisdom
How To Deal With Death

While death represents the soul’s elevation to a higher level…

It nonetheless remains a painful experience for the survivors.

At the same time, it must serve – as must all experiences in life – as a lesson; as a positive movement forward.

We must see death not as a negative force, but as an opportunity for growth.

Wisdom

Since death provokes such strong emotions, we must have a clear channel through which to express them, to go about healing in a constructive way.

When a loved one dies, powerful and conflicting emotions are aroused: sadness over the loss and confusion about the future.

The sages teach us that it would be barbaric not to mourn at all, but that we should not mourn longer than necessary.

A week of constant mourning is sufficient; otherwise a person’s death becomes a presence unto itself, constantly saddening us and impeding our progress in life.

Wisdom

Should we restrain our natural pain and sadness over a loved ones death?

Grief is a feeling, after all, and feelings cannot be controlled, can they?

Isn’t it wrong to set limits and repress our grief, or to try channel it in a certain direction?

True, feelings are feelings, but we can choose whether to experience them in a destructive or constructive light.

The key in this case is to understand death for what it is, to celebrate its positive element.

A mourner must ultimately come to realize that the soul of his or her loved one has now reached an even greater place it occupied during its time on earth, and that it will continue to rise.

It is the act of reconciling this positive realization with our grief that can turn death from a traumatic experience into a cathartic one.

Wisdom

To diminish our expression of grief is unhealthy and inappropriate but to allow our grief to overwhelm us is to selfishly overlook the true meaning of death – the fact that a person’s righteous soul has found an even more righteous home.

Chapter 3 What Should We Learn From Death?

Practice and Theory
Taking Lessons From Death

Besides celebrating the elevation of a loved ones soul and expressing our own grief, there is another purpose to mourning: Death is also an opportunity to examine our own lives and evaluate how we are fulfilling our divine mission.

As Maimonides writes, “a mourner should be anxious and concerned and evaluate his behavior and repent.”

Practice and Theory

So remembering the soul of a loved one is a most appropriate occasion to gaze into your own soul.

Practice and Theory

We all know how difficult it can be to asses one’s own behavior and we often aren’t compelled to do so until a friend or family member has passed on.

At that point, we remember the things he accomplished during his life, how he treated his family and friends, how he went out of his way to help strangers.

Unfortunately, it is often the blow of death that shakes us out of our complacency and makes us rethink our own priorities.

Practice and Theory
The Bond and Relationship Between The Deceased and It’s Loved Ones

Because the true bond between a parent and child or a husband and wife is a spiritual one, it remains intact and strong after death.

Practice and Theory

Mourning also helps us retain this bond, for the soul of a departed person, eternal and intact, watches over the people with whom she was close.

Practice and Theory

Every gracious act give her great pleasure and satisfaction, particularly when such acts are committed in a manner that she taught whether by instruction or by example.

Practice and Theory

Her soul is fully aware of what is happening to the friends and relatives she has left behind.

The soul is distressed when they experience undue grief or depression, and rejoices when they move beyond their initial pain and continue to build their lives and inspire those around them.

Practice and Theory

There is no way to replace a departed loved one, for each person is a complete world.

But there is a way to help partially fill the void.

When family and friends supplement their customary good deeds with further virtuous acts on behalf of the departed, they continue the work of his or her soul.

By performing such acts in the memory of a loved one, we can truly build a living memorial.

Wisdom
The Soul’s Ability To Strengthen Herself

Where does one gain this extra energy, especially while we are experiencing grief over the death itself?

Just as the body reaches into its reservoirs of strength when it is under attack, the soul is able to exert hidden strength during times of great trauma, strength that we may not have even been aware of.

Wisdom
Looking Beyond The Physical To Contemplate The Spiritual

For those who continue to look at only the outer layer of life, the physical component as circumscribed by the human body, death indeed seems to be the end of life.

But we must learn to peer inside this outer layer and see the human soul, our connection to G-d and to eternity.

Wisdom

Any thinking person who contemplates the solar system, for example, or the complexities of an atom, must come to the conclusion that our universe did not come out of some freak accident.

Nor is it composed merely of physical matter; every fiber of being is pulsating with energy.

Wherever we turn, we see design and purpose – the hallmark of our creator.

It would follow, therefore, that each human being, too, has a purpose as does every single event.

Wisdom
How to Console Mourners

After all is said and done death is still an incomprehensible devastating experience to those who are left behind.

After all the rationalizations, all the explanations, the heart still cries.

And it should cry.

Wisdom

When friends or relatives are grieving for a loved one, do not try to explain, just be there with them.

Soothe and console them and weep with them.

There is nothing one can really say, for no matter how we might try we must accept that we often do not understand G-d’s mysterious ways

Book 5

Kabbalah Love – From Fear To Love
The Practical Advice Of The Jewish Masters

PROLOGUE

The world has three stages: G-d’s intent, which is for you to choose Him, so you can rise above your selfish side and activate a selfless side!

Hence, there is 1. G-d’s desire, 2. The creation of you (and obviously the world you live in.) 3. The messianic era when we all choose to overcome our selfish instincts, and be selfless!

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, the foremost Jewish leader of our century (voted “Jew of The Century” in all Jewish newspaper and magazine polls at the turn of the century) prophetically, and based on the reality around us has declared that we have already begun the messianic stage; for never before have more people courageously embraced G-d, despite the ridicule of many; courageously embraced ideals, despite the ridicule of many; courageously embraced the Jewish people and Israel, despite the terrorism of those who jealously seek its and their destruction.

Never before has the world been better – this change is not random!

It has occurred over thousands of years whereby G-d has guided humanity to grow!

Just on example: In 1800 94% of the world lived in extreme poverty, in 2015 only 10%! (Source: Our World in Data)

This is because the world in its original design was to be a place that after thousands of years of human trial and error eventually (such as in after two stupid world war) humanity would seek – for all human endeavor comes from motive – a more harmonious idealistic truthful world.
CONTENTS

1 The Attitude of Gratitude
2 Divine Destiny
3 Giving
4 Forgiving
5 Gratitude
6 Unconditional Love

A LITTLE BIT OF LIGHT BANISHES A LOT OF DARKNESS!

A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE BANISHES A LOT OF RESENTMENT
OVER FEELING UNLOVED!

DEDICATION

Dedicated To All Seekers Of Truth

Dear Reader,

May The Creator and Master of you and I assist, that the wisdom which transformed my life from darkness to light, from aimlessness to meaning, from feeling like the universe is a “dog-eat-dog world” to understanding, that life is both a process of discovery and purposeful acts of love – Transform Your Life!

Zevi Wineberg
Tsfat Israel
HashemEchad@protonmail.com

HORS D’OEUVRE

Imagine a chef who has an infinite ability to always make ever more delicious foods. Now imagine The Creator.
For we have a tendency to compare The Creator to a great human, so we assume there is bad and good.
And The Creator can and does make things good; but that is to limit The Creator!

In fact The Creator is always making NEW delicious recipes/ life experiences for our soul to learn from!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My first acknowledgment – the source of gratitude – for to be grateful, we must recognize where our blessings/beneficence has come from is, of course, to our loving Father-in-Heaven, who in His unlimited kindness has ordained that I should be worthy, or perhaps better said, fortunate, to have studied, and thus be able to share Kabbalah’s transformative wisdom with you.

Thank you to my many good friends who generously donated towards the printing of this book.

Special appreciation goes to my Dear Revered Father, whose encouragement and constant editing and critique of my writing is invaluable, and equally to my Dear Revered Mother, for a final proofread.

And to the many faithful editors who checked for syntax, grammar etc. etc. (as you can see, this piece and some others, came in afterwards) beginning with Mrs. Gralnik, editor par-excellence, and culminating with the highly esteemed anesthesiologist and author, Dr. Waldman, and finally with punctuation guru Debbie Haney, without whom my chicken scratch may have remained as such.

Last but most importantly I am so gratified that this book has already effected millions of people.

Everyday people from around the world download and purchase the book (available on amazon.com). And watch the TV mini-series, Video Classes, “Live-Class Recording,” on Kabbalahlove.org
INTRODUCTION.

In truth, there is but a path in which the unlimited infinite nature of the Divine collides into our limited defined natural order!

In my own desperate search for the meaning of existence, traversing the many doctrines, philosophies, religious ideals, I was amazed to discover in my own backyard a treasure buried for millennia, taught only to the great initiated saints but recently revealed through the Chassidic masters to everyone.

A light both illuminating and cozy, both inspiring and deep, heralding in the, “New Torah Teachings of The Moshiach/Messiah” that will flow in the Messianic age. These teachings flowed through the undiluted souls of the Chassidic Rebbes/Masters.

If your soul’s thirst can be quenched
If your parched head can be satiated
If your heart’s ache can be soothed

Well-worth my humble attempt to distill this dazzling array of precious gems into modern bite-size wisdom.

If all the heavens were parchment
And all the grass were quills
If all the oceans were ink

Still the wisdom of Kabbalah could never be transcribed!

Chapter 1
Gratitude Attitude
“In life, it is not what we have that makes us happy, it is the attitude towards what we have that does.”
A Story
Mr. Behr was a sweet, elderly gentleman who would often take his vacation at the home of a congregant of mine – whose marriage was not too hot – while I was the Rabbi in a resort town in South Africa.
One day as he came to our Synagogue for morning prayers, Mr. Behr was shaking his head sadly.
So, I asked him, “What’s wrong?”
He replied, “I don’t understand why young people don’t get along these days. I was married for over forty years and I never had a single argument with my wife.”
“Wow, that’s impressive!” I thought, for though I am a Rabbi, I am far from a saint; So I asked him, “What was the secret to your happy marriage?”
“When I was a young man,” Mr. Behr replied, “I once asked my boss to lend me a pound so that I could buy a lotto ticket. My boss replied, ‘Young man, do you know when you will win the lotto? When you walk down the aisle to your Chupah (marriage canopy.)
That is when you will win the lotto!’”
In other words, Mr. Behr was teaching me that the reason he had a happy and loving relationship with his wife was because he always felt like he had won the lotto by marrying her!

True Wealth
The Jewish Sages teach, “Who is wealthy? Whoever appreciates what they have.”
My cousin, Rabbi Yossi Alpern, who is a Rabbi in Brazil took a group of very wealthy Brazilian children on a tour of the United States.
Coming to the largest toy store in the world, all the children were excited to be able to spend their parent’s money on the latest toys and gadgets.

However, he noticed that the young daughter of a billionaire banker was sitting despondently in an aisle. “What’s wrong … ?” my cousin asked her. She replied sadly, “I have all these toys already 😭.”
So it’s not what we have, rather if we can appreciate what we have that makes us happy.

Who Are We
The structure of who we are (though this is a very lengthy and detailed concept but in very simple and concise terms) boils down to: Essence and Expression.

Within the Essence itself there is “Essence of Essence” as we will describe.
The essential essence of our Soul, “Essence of Essence,” is The Source of The Soul, G-d.

As such innately we feel compassion. (For like a flame coming from another flame the second contains the qualities / characteristics of the first.)

We innately have a moral sense; as well as a powerful drive to G-d. As one addict told me “Addiction is just a large hole in the soul.”

Happiness
We can only feel happy, meaningful, purposeful and satisfied if our essence and behavior (expression) align.
We all are part of the world and have something special to impart. (And addicts that engage in the 12 steps, and more importantly in Divine growth and positive relationships seem to have much higher rates of recovery as this leads to happiness (which is usually the antidote to the sadness that led one to seek artificial highs.))

The Soul
This Divine flame goes through many (spiritual) universes in which it gains a sense of independence (namely we perceive that our life exists independent of G-d – forgetting that it’s being constantly being energized (sort of like light forgetting that it comes from the light bulb – sun.))

The “independent” flame / soul has mainly five parts.

Essence – that which feels to it pleasurable.
Desire – the will to get your way (and as the Jewish Sages teach, “Nothing stands in the way of willpower.”)

The soul has ten capabilities.

The Three intellectual are:
A. Chochmah (ability to conceive of new ideas.)
B. Binah (The ability to comprehend ideas and dig deeper into an idea.)
C. Daas (the ability to connect deeply to an idea, transforming an idea into an emotion.)
There are 7 emotions.
The main two are love and fear.
Love is a desire for something you want – love (or admire.)
Fear is the desire to not encounter or experience something you don’t want (fear / perhaps painful.)
The other emotions are offshoots of love and fear.
Now the revelation of our mind and emotions are expressed in the “soul’s clothing” which are thoughts, speech, and action.
Desire
Desire activates all of our soul abilities.
As such firstly we should rid ourselves of any desire.
For every desire effectively sets up an addiction to it. (We will discuss in the third chapter, phobias.)
Imagine yourself by a river and in your bucket is everything you want – now empty the bucket!
And watch all your desires float away.

As such it pays to meditate, contemplate or say:
“My Only Desire Is To Serve My Creator.”

Why We Exist
We are created by the Infinite Being, whose love for us is so great and therefore (like parents to their love / child) desires to give to us all blessings.
As the greatest blessing possible is not only a beautiful world filled with physical abundance as well as spiritual bliss and perhaps even greater, love, harmony (hence the gift of marriage – family, friendship etc.) but equally if not even more importantly, the gift to be like Him; Compassionate, Responsible, Moral, Kind, and Generous.
What To Desire
If our desire in life is to do goodness and kindness in order to fulfill The Creator’s higher purpose for us, then and only then, can we live truly both materially and spiritually satisfying and meaningful lives! For it is not the object – a lifeless material thing – but the objective / the purpose which is the spirit / soul that gives life to what we do!
So when our life’s purpose is meaningful, so is our life.
Money
At the same time, unlike the secular statement “Money is the root of all evil” the Jewish teaching is that money is the root of all good!

The Lubavitcher Rebbe / the Head Rabbi of our generation encouraged people to do all in their ability (of-course within ethical, moral, and loving means) to become wealthy.

For as He says, money can: #1 Enable us to do the greatest good namely helping others. #2 Allows us to serve G-d extravagantly (for example spending lots of money on hosting, education, Mitzvos etc.) And # 3 Allows us to have – what is perhaps psychologically and spiritually most valuable – peace of mind.
Discernment
Now the challenge is discernment. For whatever we desire immediately becomes rationalized, as we can see in the shift of attitude from boys to girls based on hormones.
This is in fact the very raison d’etre (goal) of Judaism; namely a mechanism where we can objectively see right from wrong. We accomplish this by asking a Rabbi schooled in the three-thousand-year tradition, wisdom, and clarification of Divine guidance on truth, morality and goodness/kindness, as described in the constitution of ethics, morality and compassion namely the Torah/Bible.
Personal Rabbi/Rebbetzin
Practically, the Rebbe, the greatest Rabbi, scholar, and Judaic advisor of our times, taught to always consult a Mashpia (Rabbi (or Rebbetzin/female, respectively)) who is not only schooled in Jewish law, but also Jewish mysticism / Chassidus (the Soul of Judaism).
Now by following the advice, you get personal Divine guidance as this system is created by G-d.
(You can go to the “Ask The Rabbi” section on Chabad.org or if you would like, feel free to reach me Hashemechad@protonmail.com.)

G-d Positioning System
Another way according to Jewish mysticism to get a GPS (“G-d Positioning System”) directly from the Divine, is to ask G-d whatever you seek guidance on, and then the first thought subsequent to your question will be His Personal Reply! (Try it to see if it works.
Recall that just as a computer can deal with billions of users simultaneously, of-course the unlimited Creator can.)
Fame vs Pride
In addition, it pays to mention that happiness comes not from aggrandization / fame which seems to be the goal of our western ideal; rather the reverse, namely happiness comes from contributing oneself to a meaningful cause and thereby becoming proud of one’s positive achievements.
The greater the effort it takes, the happier we become, for we all wish to be able to be proud of our positive accomplishments.

Our Goal
In the beginning G-d placed man and woman, the first couple – in the Garden of Eden, a place filled with beauty and prosperity and He said, “Your role is to improve the world and protect it /לעבדה ולשמרה.”

Our goal is not escaping reality, rather improving it through using our talents, time, and prosperity, positively.
Gaining Perspective
People who get a new lease on life look at life very, very, differently.
One woman told me that she was once confined to a hospital bed for a few months. One morning as she looked out her window, she gazed at the sunrise and said to herself, “If I ever get out of here, I will never complain for the rest of my life!”
And indeed, she is perhaps one of the most cheerful people you could ever meet.
People who have survived potentially fatal accidents or illnesses often come out of their experiences with a very great appreciation for the greatest gift of all; The Gift Of Life Itself!
The Gift of Life
The fact is that this world is no accident.
The more science we discover, the more we realize that our world is built on a series of miraculous phenomena which by virtue of their consistency deceive us into seeing nature as natural.
Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chassidus, “Modern Jewish Mysticism” taught, “The first time we see a miraculous phenomenon in nature, we call it a miracle. The second time, we call it nature.”
Science is truly only the sum total of human observation, and in every field of scientific enquiry, scientists have discovered that we cannot explain the mechanisms behind what is happening.
For example, we know that DNA replicates itself, but no one knows how technically that is possible, as I personally heard from a student at the top university in DNA research.
Nature = Miracle
Dr. Paul Wildman came to some of my classes – he has three Doctorates and sits on the board supervising the studies for all the universities in Switzerland.
He told me that his board sent him around the world to discover the latest advancements in science and upon his return, he gave a lecture entitled, “The Limit Of Human Understanding.”
In every field of scientific enquiry, we have discovered what Dr. Wildman told me scientists call “E.” The fact that we now know that we do not comprehend the mechanisms behind nature.
As the Chacham Tzvi simply and eloquently states, “Nature is miracles that continually reoccur.”
Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live life. The first as though everything is a miracle; the other as though nothing is.”
E=MC2 – The Physical Is Spiritual
Take the famous equation of E=MC 2, if you had “x-ray vision,” you would see that everything you are looking at is really made up of atoms.
And what E=MC 2 means, is that every atom corresponds to an incredible amount of energy (which is the mass of the atom squared by the constant number, the speed of light, 186,000 miles per second).
Now, if you had an even greater “x-ray vision,” you wouldn’t see anything physical, rather you would be looking at energy. And you can get an idea of how much energy there is when you realize that an atomic explosion is one of the main energy sources for electricity in our world – supplying millions, if not hundreds of millions of households with electricity – all coming from the energy released when the tiny atom is “split.”
And as Einstein writes, the energy released in an atomic explosion is in reality just a fraction of the energy contained (like “a wealthy man giving away a thousand dollars,” to use his own example.)
So where did all this energy come from?
Energy is interchangeable with physical matter, which is bound by time and space, and is therefore one of The Creator’s creations.
Creation
As a creation matter needs to have a beginning.
In the study of Kabbalah, we are taught that The Creator “spoke” the world into existence. This means that The Creator’s “speech” creates our reality – the trees, rocks, water, and everything that we see and take for granted.
However, there is a fundamental difference between what The Creator makes and what man makes. What man makes is, in fact, only a change of status of material properties.
So every component in your “brilliant” computer, is in fact taken from something that was already created by The Creator. From the silicon to the gold, from the plastic to the metallic parts etc., there isn’t a single component in your computer that doesn’t actually come from the ground.
Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov teaches that even the greatest scientists will never cease to be able to discover ever more benefits from the myriad natural elements that our Creator lovingly placed within the earth’s crust.
Now, the earth’s crust, including all that is within it did not exist prior to creation.
As such the earth must continually be recreated in order for it to exist.
You can see a short Multi-Media Presentation entitled “Discovering How the Universe Is Constantly Being Recreated” which visually demonstrates this on my website
http://www.kabbalahwisdom.org
An Example For Constant Creation
For example, imagine a strange alien for a moment.
How long will your alien exist? Only as long as you imagine it! For anything that doesn’t inherently exist needs a separate creative force to constantly recreate it.
Light must continually emanate out of its source in order for you to see it in a continuous way (for example light in a room). The same applies to the energy which creates the matter of our universe.
If we were to take away the building blocks of matter, The Creator’s “speech,” there would simply be nothing at all.
So all of our technology is dependent on a far greater technology, The Creator’s “speech” which is continually re-speaking/recreating the physical matter of the universe into existence.

Science and Kabbalah

Physics has discovered this phenomenon and the Higgs Boson called the “The G-d Particle” proves the process of the infinite rebirths of the atom, hence the universe.
Kabbalah wrote (app. 1,800 years ago) that “In the sixth hundred year of the sixth millennia (corresponding app. to 1840) G-d would open the floodgates of wisdom of ‘above’ and ‘below’ and they would merge, in anticipation of the Messianic redemption.”
As Doctor David – a Physics Professor who leads a team of 1,000 theoretical physicists researching for the past 40 years math, physics, religion, and philosophy (for the deeper you go into physics – quantum physics – the more miraculous it gets) said, that “Chabad Chassidus and quantum physics match.”
How Creation Works
In other words, The Creator is always re-speaking, or rethinking / re-imagining our universe into its present natural format.
The magical words “Abra-Cadabrah” come from the two Hebrew words, “Ibarah, C’dabrah” which means “I create, when I speak.”
You can watch an animated visualization of this on the quantum physics documentary, “What The Bleep Do We Know.”
The Kabbalah wrote about this process thousands of years ago and called it Rotzu Vshuv / Yearning and Returning. The creative energy emanates out of the Creator’s desire to create our reality, and then returns back into Him – in an ongoing forward and return cycle, like heartbeats or breaths.
Another Example
Another good example to help us understand continuous creation comes from screens.
Depending on the type of screen you have, every second, the picture on your screen is refreshed/redrawn a few hundred times.
This means that every time you look at the Recycle Bin on your computer, it has been redrawn thousands of times.
So your Recycle Bin is a functional tool in a two-dimensional computerized world, as it allows you to throw away the garbage; whereas, the garbage can in your kitchen works in a three-dimensional world.
They both however serve the same fundamental purpose – getting rid of garbage; and they both need a higher technology to make them continuously reappear – giving you, the user, a functional tool.
Another Example For Continuous Creation
Another example: In 1986, I studied in Vancouver, Canada, which hosted the World-Expo, where countries showcase their latest technological inventions. GM had a pavilion, and after waiting an hour or so in line, we were ushered into a small room.
There were about six rows of bleachers facing a glass partition looking onto a stage.
The stage was set like a living room with a stack of wood, bonfire style, in the center.
In walks an Indian and with “magic” sets alight the wood and gives us a 45-minute speech, doing many amazing magical feats.
But the best was yet to come – for the grand finale was that he fashioned a little canoe of fire in the thin air, then “accidently” his cloak caught on fire, which turned him into a stickman made out of fire!
He then climbed through the air into a boat that magically appeared, a magical fiery oar appeared, and with one swoosh of the oar he literally disappeared!
It was only then that we realized that the Indian and everything we saw was actually a holographic video!
Similarly, our universe. For example, though we feel through touch, as it states in Kabbalah and medical science, there is simply a 3D “hologram” of our body in our brain. So when you touch something or something touches you, an electrical impulse is sent through your nerves to your brain, which then makes you imagine you are feeling something at the point of touch. (In fact people who have G-d-forbid lost an arm, can still get an itch, feeling like they must scratch a non-existent arm.)
So the essence of our universe of-course is nothing but like the image in a computer, a combination of energy filtered through a medium that our physical eye appreciates – combined with the information that instructs it to be the appearance.
The energy which is the building blocks of matter is literally G-d (manifesting; as well as simultaneously concealing – so while it is moving energy (waves) it appears as physical (particles) matter.)
Thank The Creator
This being the case, it is only right to thank The Creator for what we already have.
For it is merely due to His great ongoing kindness that our universe continuously exists!

Altruism
The Creator and Master of the World is very different to human beings whom mainly seek to gain.
The Creator is looking to give!
As the Jewish Sages teach, that the very reason why The Creator formed our world and His primary goal in it namely you and me! – is in order to have people to give to.
As they explain, “It is natural for a kind person (heart) to act kindly.”
So we must realize that The Creator has already given us so very very much!
When we are aware of these gifts, we start realizing that there is An Unlimited Being who loves us unconditionally! Gives to us unconditionally! And only desires what is good – for our sake, and not for His!
Ask
Someone I know was once going through a severe financial crisis.
He called up his wealthy father who bailed him out.
I asked his father, “How come you didn’t help your son earlier?” “Because,” he replied, “he didn’t ask.”
So it is also good to ask The Creator for what you want!
Gratitude Versus Attitude
Rabbi Shneur Zalman, the author of the Tanya, “the Bible of Jewish mysticism” taught, “When you give something to a humble person, they become humbler. But when you give something to an entitled (arrogant) person, they become more entitled (arrogant).”
In other words, if we become cognizant of the blessings we already have, we see ourselves as fortunate.
And conversely, ironically, the more we get, if we do not thank the Creator for it, the more it deludes us that we are entitled to even more!
Within all of us is a hidden demon called ego/arrogance, which instantly assumes that everything we receive confirms our “high status” greatness.
And the “higher” / greater we are, the more entitled we become. Now, the more we see ourselves as entitled to getting what we want, the less happy we become. As the ratio of our ability to fulfill our desires will always be less than the imaginations ability to conceive of desires.
So now, instead of sensing our good fortune, we feel we have been “cheated” out of what we are “entitled” to!
Having lived in Africa for over a decade, I once remarked to a psychiatrist friend of mine, Dr. Slutzkin, “Why is it that the poor blacks (in contrast to the middle-class whites and wealthier blacks) always seem happy?”
He replied, “They expect less.”
Expectations
A good example of this comes from Rabbi Bechayah in his classic book “Duties of the Heart.” (BTW one of the most amazing, spiritual, psychological, inspirational works ever.)
He gives the example of two people who get shipwrecked and stranded on an island. A benevolent person takes them in and cares for them in every way possible for many years. Now, one is a young child and the other is an adult. The child will in fact begin to expect good treatment from the benefactor (as children do from their parents.) However as the adult is more aware, he will feel eternally grateful.
Last, but not least, Steve Loeb was a congregant of mine stricken with ALS. During his disease, he returned to G-d and Judaism (no small feat considering the details). I asked him, “What has ALS taught you?” He replied “The Gift Of Life!”

Exercise #1:
Write a list of all the good things in your life, all the things which you would miss if you no longer had them, and then list the things that you want but do not have. Say, “Thank you Creator for the blessings You have given me; Please Creator, give me the things I want.”
Bonus: It should be mentioned that the wisest prayer of all, according to Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov, is that The Creator should give us what He knows is best for us.
One lady I know told me, that The Creator always gave her whatever she requested, but she realized that what she thought would make her happy often led her to misery.
So she stopped praying for what she thought she wanted, and prayed instead for what The Creator knows will be good for her.
And The Creator’s plan always leads her to greater joy.
Big Bonus: The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn explains a truly remarkable thing. Although, of course, The Creator needs to recreate reality for it to continuously appear as mentioned before, nonetheless as He is unlimited, He could have simply imbued matter with enough energy to last as long as He wanted it to. The reason He chose continuous creation is so that we can always feel grateful for this awesome gift, as gratitude equates to happiness.
When you are doing nothing, after every breath you take, say, “Thank You, Creator, For Everything!” bearing in mind the fact that everything has just been recreated!

Chapter 2
Divine Destiny
Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov explains that what comes to us from The Creator is actually a reflection of our own mood and attitude.
If we are full of joy, merciful, and compassionate, then The Creator will bestow joy, mercy, and compassion upon us.
The reason we get into a negative space, G-d-forbid, is unfortunately either due to innate anxiety or negative experiences which create future anxiety.
The Wheels of Justice
“What goes around comes around” is a true saying, albeit with a time delay involved which results in our failing to recognize the mechanism.
The reason for this delay is as follows: If we were immediately rewarded or punished for our wrongdoings, we would never do anything wrong.
What’s so bad about that, you may wonder?
I recall that as a child, I once asked The Creator to punish me whenever I did something wrong for then I would know that The Creator existed.
This is in fact the only real reason why we question The Creator’s existence, as we doubt His effectiveness/justice.
How can it be that a good person suffers while an evil person prospers?
There are many explanations for this.
For example, sometimes The Creator gives a “reward” to an evil person in this world, but this so-called “reward” is actually a negative payout, for it prevents him or her from receiving the great bliss of Heaven.
Other times, The Creator brings suffering upon the righteous person for minor infractions in this world, and in that way reserves for them the reward of everlasting bliss in the world-to-come.
In fact, our Sages teach us, that our universe is built on The Creator’s kindness and compassion. A drop of suffering in this world erases mountains of potential pain in the next.
Karmic Debts
Furthermore, we are taught that we can have “karmic debts.” This means that if I owed someone a sum of money in a previous lifetime, that money may be forcibly taken from me and restored to its reincarnated owner in a future lifetime. There are many stories from the Jewish mystics that prove this.
A personal story is, I bought a computer from a friend of mind and in the last moment, he threw in a screen for an extra $15.00. As I had only brought the money for the computer, I never got around to paying him. One day, the computer had “a fatal exception” and stopped working. As I thought about the cause, I determined to pay my friend for the screen. A few weeks later, seeing him at a wedding, I gave him the money. By a serendipitous occurrence, one of the top computer programmers in the country needed to use my computer and he spent forty-five minutes fixing it. That was the next day!
Pain Loss
It is also important to realize that all of life is growth.
Pain is loss, but loss is usually if not always, some way or another G-d getting us into a far greater vista bettering our current circumstance physically spiritually or both simultaneous.
“The Face of G-d”
The Kabbalah teaches that just like human faces reflect one another – so when someone smiles, others smile back, and when someone, G-d-forbid, is somber, others are likewise somber – similarly, when we are joyous, this causes our Creator to be joyous.
And just as when people are happy they give unstintingly, similarly The Creator! (On the other hand, when people are somber, they only give based on calculating if the other person is deserving or not.)
As the Baal Shem Tov explains, two people are in need of a favor from a king. The commoner gets on his hands and knees and begs. The king feeling no love, decides if this person warrants the request. However the king’s minister is smart. He invites the king to a repast and after making him happy by serving him his favorite foods, throws in his request. The king being in a favorable mood is only too pleased to fulfill it.
Research in fact demonstrates that happy children cause a positive hence more giving reaction in their parents. In other words, when we are confident in G-d’s assistance, we cause it to happen! Just by being happy we create an infinitely better destiny.
Sometimes we think The Creator is inflexible. Why? Because we compare the Creator to inflexible role-models in our past. But not only is G-d flexible, He set up a reality which reacts to us!
So bear in mind, destiny is a reflection of our mood and attitude; so always think positively!
Freedom of Choice
You may not know this, but Heaven was created for earth, not the other way around.
Everything that is above and below is part of the Divine plan to give you the freedom to choose – without being forced to – between, goodness: selflessness, compassion, sharing, caring, etc. and evil: selfishness, insensitivity, arrogance, and caring only for oneself while disregarding others.
Reality
In groundbreaking research, Dr. Emoto shows that water crystals react to our prayers, intentions, words, and emotions.
You can Google Emoto, for images. You can literally see how based on positive words, intentions, thoughts, and emotions, the water crystals change from a simple hexagon, their natural molecular structure, into a beautiful snowflake image.

This in fact is one of the great discoveries of quantum physics; that we are all continuously shaping reality based on the energy (positive, negative, or neutral) we are viewing it as. Now, if physical matter feels the loving embrace or the harsh sting of the emotions behind words, how much more so, as has been proven scientifically, do plants, animals, and obviously, us highly sensitive humans.
The “Tanya,” which is the logical explanation and organization of the wisdom of the Baal Shem Tov, written over two hundred years ago by the great Rabbi Shneur Zalman, the founder of Chabad Chassidus, clearly describes three basic zones in our reality: 1) Good 2) Neutral 3) Evil.
Included in Zone 1 (Good) are those things that we make blessings over – such as when we thank G-d for the food we are about to eat – or when we use food for good deeds, such as giving food to hungry people. So at that time, the molecules in the food (which become our energy/body) receive energy directly from The Creator.
In Zone 2 (the Neutral Zone) are most objects that are currently untainted (positively or negatively) by humans and are thus waiting for us to elevate them in order for them to receive energy directly from The Creator.
In fact, Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov teaches, that neutral water will eagerly await hundreds of years, if not even millennia, for a good person to thank-G-d for the water they are going to drink.
For as the Holy Ari (a great Kabbalist) teaches, all matter in fact contains Divine Souls.
The Baal Shem Tov queries, how can physical food give energy to the spiritual soul? He explains that within the food is a spark of G-d and when we say a blessing this sparks shoots out from the food into the Divine soul within man. (In fact when the FDA broke down food to its smallest particle they were left with a flash of light.)
Zone 3 (evil) contains the negative forces, which include anger, revenge, harming others, etc.
So, if I eat an apple and then use the energy it gives me to insult someone, at that time those physical atoms draw their energy via demons (negative angels) because The Creator refuses to sustain negativity directly.
Interestingly when or if we G-d-forbid engage in a bad behavior such as insulting, this creates a negative demon who in fact desires that we repeat the offence.

This is the meaning of G-d’s instruction to Kain (Kayin) “Why are you distressed (angry) and why has your face fallen? If you change you will be forgiven but if you do not, sin crouches at your door (and seeks to enter) but you can control it!”
In other words if we get angry we create a demon whose energy (life) comes from our bad behavior and seeks that we repeat the offence so it can get more energy. (When we do Teshuvah – change our behavior (regret the past, change for the future and say “sorry” either to the person / as well as to G-d (as the verbal declaration kills the body of this demon while the emotional regret and resolve for the future kills its soul) then this demon dies and we are freed.)
It’s all amazingly simple, though amazingly deep
So reality is both simple, yet unerringly deep, because we don’t understand its simplicity!
Imagine a person who never saw a computer. She or he would think, “This is the most sophisticated, complicated thing!” and yet every child can use it, for it’s actually very simple, once you know what to do.
Similarly, reality only has three possibilities: good, neutral, and evil.
Good is all that is selfless and follows the will of G-d.
Neutral is all that is self-serving, yet not cruel.
Evil is all that is cruel or defies G-d.
Kosher
Incidentally, kosher food corresponds to these three zones. Kosher food begins in the “neutral zone” and takes on a positive energy if used for something positive, such as when one uses the energy from the food to help someone else.
Those foods that did not get elevated – since no one used the energy for anything meaningful after eating it – remain in the neutral zone they started out in. If, however, someone used the energy from the Kosher food for something negative – for example to harm another, G-d-forbid; then the atoms get energized via the negative demons.
Non-kosher food in Hebrew is also called “Assur,” which means tied/locked down.
As it is tied up in the third negative zone, hence, it cannot be elevated even if one uses the energy for something good.
(Obviously, the definition of good and evil is based on The Creator’s commandments/definitions in the Bible; hence as Gentiles don’t have the Biblical commandment to refrain from eating non-Kosher food – apart, of course, to “not eat from an animal while it’s alive,” which is one of the universal seven Noahide laws given at Mount Sinai for everyone (see http://www.Chabad.org/7Laws for more info. on this) therefore, it doesn’t have a negative effect for them.)
The above is an extreme simplification of an incredibly vast universe above us which The Creator uses to engage, create, modify, influence, record and mirror everything that goes on in ours.
Input=Output
Last but not least, we must change our perception of reality. For as quantum physics teaches, we have a tendency to think, that we are born into an unchanging Newtonian styled deterministic world, while the truth is that not only do we create reactions based on our mood and attitude in others (and even in animals, vegetation and as demonstrated empirically in water and non-physical matter) but as The Creator is humble, in the Creator! which then becomes our destiny.
Exercise #2:
By tuning into good energy – by being grateful for what one has and trusting that things will get better! – one creates good destiny and hence a better future.
Bonus: Even by just imagining that The Creator will help you; for example, telling yourself just that, “G-d will help me,” creates that as a future reality.
Big Bonus: It is very powerful to hand over your problems to The Creator, as the verse states, “Throw your package of problems to The Creator, and He will carry them.”
I think that as a loving parent, The Creator enables us to choose our own mistakes, as He does not want to force us into anything.
However, just like a loving father would, He steps in and provides when we say, “Sorry, it is too hard for me to handle.”
(The only thing we need to be careful about is to not take our problems back from The Creator after He has successfully handled them!
Human nature is such that we like to think that we deserve the credit for our successes.
However, the way the trust-system operates is that The Creator allows whomever you trust – including yourself – to be the provider!
So by taking your problem back, which occurs by believing You were the source of your success, you then actually recreate the problem.
Similar to what Einstein writes, “We cannot solve our problems using the same mindset in which we created them.”
It is for this reason saying Thank-You! and thereby acknowledging that Gd is the source of your blessings really is the magic word!)
How stupidity overtakes man
In life, either our consciousness is aware that everything is run by G-d, hence everything is really good (or for the good) or though we may actually believe this, but our consciousness is focused on our desires and wishes or conversely our fears.
When these emotions are strong our mind is actively pursuing, either the attainment of our desires/wishes or the prevention of our fears.
In this consciousness we lose touch with our higher truth / self.
This explains why in Judaism we have so many reminders that there is a G-d, such as touching the Mezuzah, wearing Teffilin, Shabbos, Kashrus etc. For as we see empirically that what we know is important often takes a back seat to our current desire / anxiety that runs us.
This is why so much of Judaism is saying “Thank You” to G-d for our blessings; and in this way not only do we prevent ourselves from the vile trait of ingratitude or worse arrogance (which turns into entitlement, jealousy, and malice) but by being happy we energetically create a cycle of blessings.

Chapter 3
Giving
Meaning In Life
According to Albert Einstein, the meaning in life is found by “Giving to those whose existence is the cause of our happiness.”
Love
This theory is very similar to the Biblical instruction to “Love your friend as much as you love yourself.”
According to Rabbi Akiva, this is in fact the whole point of the Torah (Bible), to teach us how to “Love your friend, as much as you love yourself.”
Happiness, True Success, Joy & Recognition
Many books could be written on this subject, for it represents not only the fundamental reason for our existence, but also the key to our own happiness, success and joy in life; and the key to the ability to attain the recognition that we all so desperately crave.
Rabbi Hillel and the Gentile
I was recently reading an interesting Judaic article that asked the following question: There is a well-known story that a Gentile once came to the great Rabbi Hillel, the foremost Jewish leader of his age, and asked him for the guiding principle of Judaism, to which he replied, “What you don’t want others to do to you, don’t do to them. The rest of the Torah/Bible is the explanation of this principle.”
The question was subsequently asked, why did Rabbi Hillel frame it in the negative by saying, “What you don’t want others to do to you, don’t do to them” when he could have framed it in the positive?
“What you want others to do to you, do to them!”

Additionally, this would seem a more accurate description of the Biblical injunctions, such as loaning money interest-free, giving charity, etc.
However, Rabbi Hillel was teaching everyone an exceptionally important lesson. Why is it that when we do something wrong, it doesn’t seem to bother us at all but when someone else does something wrong, we are often ready to jump down their throats, “How could you possibly have done such an evil, vile, rude, inconsiderate thing?!”
How come we act so “schizophrenically,” seeing other people’s faults as genuine problems, yet at the same time characterizing our own faults as nothing?
We view our own misdeeds as nothing more than things we shouldn’t have done, but they do not alter our fundamental self-love.

Why?
The reason is very simple, yet exceptionally profound.
The reason we don’t see our own faults, or our own faults do not cause us to alter our positive self-image, is because our innate self-love covers over and buries our faults. In other words, because we love ourselves, we are not extremely concerned by our faults.
I am sure you have heard the saying, “Love is blind,” which is certainly true.
In Judaism–in Proverbs–the saying goes “All faults are concealed by love.”
In other words, it’s not that we do not recognize that we have faults; rather, as we love ourselves, our love shields us from seeing them as issues that are so terrible that we should stop loving ourselves due to them.
Extending Love
In truth, this is a very good thing. For in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself. For generally, the love one person extends to another is actually due to identifying with them – for example, siblings who realize their shared background have greater love for one another than strangers do.
The more we see what we share in common – identify with another, the more we love them unconditionally!
As such, it pays to recall we are all fundamentally the same, for on a soul level, we are all “chips off the same block” (every soul comes from G-d and innately desires goodness and kindness, like her Father in Heaven) and there is but One Source From Whom We All Exist!
And though our missions differ based on our gender, culture, nation, circle… fundamentally we share the common goal that “We Are All Divine Agents, Charged With The Mission To Continually Add In Our Goodness And Kindness Making The World A Better, More Loving, Happier, Peaceful And Fair Place.”
Self-Love
Most importantly, if someone (perhaps a depressed person) actually hates themselves which occurs when we become angry at ourselves for “failing…” they might, G-d-forbid become sad and worse case scenario commit suicide.
So self-love is great (obviously in moderation, lest we forget about the rest of humanity in focusing only on ourselves.) But the lesson is that just as our own self-love manages to conceal and bury our own faults from appearing so bad that we are G-d-forbid unlovable due to them, similarly our love for our family and friends should be so strong that we don’t see, or at the very least do not think that they are undeserving of love due to their faults.
This is the significance behind the exact wording of the Creator’s commandment, “Love Your Friend As You Love Yourself.”
In other words, just as your self-love can accept that you are worthy of love even if you have faults, similarly must you accept others, even if they have faults.
A Mirror Image
Furthermore, this is how The Creator intended things to be (namely seeing bad in others) for the following four reasons:

1 The fact that you do see a fault in someone else is only because in point of fact you have that fault in yourself. For it is impossible to see a fault in someone else that you do not have it in yourself.

The Baal Shem Tov teaches, “Your friend is like your mirror; it is only when there is dirt on your own face that it will be ‘reflected’ and hence seen in your friends.”
So when we find something wrong in someone else, The Creator is showing us an area in which we need to improve.
I said this once in a class and a psychologist present confirmed it.
“When we get upset by another’s misdeeds, it is only because it is hitting a concealed raw nerve of our own,” she said.

2 Additionally, the fact that one can see faults in another can also lead to good because it allows one to gently, privately, respectfully and honorably, explain to the other how much better it will be for them to choose a wiser course of action.

(# 3. Interestingly, Rabbi Schneersohn – The Lubavitcher Rebbe – clarifies that if we feel bugged / irritated by the negative in another then it is a mirror image, as mentioned above, and hence something we need to improve on. However, if our mind comes up with methods of how to help the other, then chances are it is something related to assisting the other.
In fact, whenever The Creator allows us to see a solution to a problem – so, for example, say you are aware that someone is G-d-forbid ill, and you also know that there is a doctor who specializes in a treatment for that illness, then The Creator is actually giving you one of your life’s missions! If this wasn’t your mission (a.) you wouldn’t have become aware of the problem and (b.) you wouldn’t have known the solution.
Please see my booklet, “Discover The Meaning Of Your Life” in 5 Steps, in the appendix, for more info. on this.)
Love, And Only Then Educate
There is a commandment in the Bible to teach, or even reprimand, someone else if one knows it will help. But interestingly, this commandment is preceded by the all-important commandment to never shame another. Therefore, the Jewish Sages deduce that before one educates another, one must be quite certain that one’s motive is love; and furthermore, one obviously may never insult another in the process of educating them.
As the Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches, “Even if there is a situation where one needs to try to prevent something negative from another – the very best method to achieve this is through encouraging them in a pleasant, peaceful and loving way.”
The Rebbe Himself was a prime example of this, for no- one, perhaps going back to Moses Himself, achieved greater transformation, growth, dedication to Judaism and higher ideals in the world than the Rebbe, yet he never said a harsh word to anyone.
So the way to improve someone else is only through showing them a better path, not that they are G-d forbid wrong.
Politics and G-d
Reb Menachem Mendel of Kotzk said, “What is the difference between a lover of truth and a lover of love vs. a hater of falsehood and a hater of hate?”
He answered: “The former finds what’s lovable and truthful, while the latter finds what false and evil.”
We unfortunately have had throughout history, megalomaniacs such as Hitler, Karl Marx, and in modern times, radicals who gain political power – not through common goals, but simply pointing out grievances under the guise of justice, vengeance or supremacy and encourage the masses to be their “executioners.”
The common denominator from all these horrific “leaders” is they don’t truly stand for the truth and love, but against their perception of falsehood and hate.
Subconsciously what drives them is jealousy (for when we think we are the best, then like the evil queen in Snow-White, another’s goodness and positive self-image becomes to us a conflict. (For if “we are the best… then how come it looks to us that they are.”))
But what makes them jealous? Often people’s behavior is not based on the love for truth and love, rather the fear of criticism; this creates a resentment towards those who lack this fear, which in turn creates a desire to shame / abuse good people. One of the ways (subconsciously) this is done (which we see in certain political parties) is the desire to add lots and lots of laws as controlling another is a form of abuse.
But if what we seek is truth and love, we then see what is good in others.
The truly Holy saintly leaders such as Abraham, the Rebbe, dedicated their lives to humanity; Always encouraging, helping, literally giving the shirt off their back financially and energetically (time-wise etc.) to everyone. They didn’t point out how evil a “group of people” is or are, rather how to G-d each person is like an only child, and it is our privilege, pleasure and honor to assist them.
A Story
A Chossid (disciple of a Chassidic Rebbe/Master) once asked the Rebbe Rashab, “What is a Chossid?”
He contemplated the question and replied, “A Chossid is a lamplighter.” (In the olden days, a person would carry a long pole with a fire lit on top (like a long torch) and light the kerosene streetlamps.)
In other words, the reply was, “A Chossid is one who lights up other people’s souls / hearts.” Replied the Chossid, “But I don’t see any lamps?”
In other words, “I don’t see anyone worthy of my light/love.”
To this, the Rebbe explained, “That is because you are not a lamplighter. When you will become humbler, you will see many lamps!”
What’s The Message?
Additionally, the Baal Shem Tov teaches that everything we see in life is in fact a message from The Creator on how to improve ourselves.
So when you see a good behavior from someone else, The Creator organized that you should see it in order that you should emulate it. (# 4) And when you see a bad behavior, it is shown to you for the following two reasons: A) So that you will be repulsed by it and hence decide not to act like that; and B) So that you will be proud of yourself for behaving properly.
Whose Existence Makes You Happy?
Now I would like you to take Einstein’s suggestion, and decide whose existence gives you happiness.
You will most probably choose people who are close to you and have impacted your life in a way that you perceive to be beneficial.
What you need to do is to stop bartering; you need to decide to love these people unconditionally.
Love and Happiness
Only through this will you find happiness; for when you love, you release loving chemicals (serotonin) through your bloodstream which makes you feel good. It is a drug that only gets stronger with time.
The Love/Fear Seesaw
Rabbi Shneur Zalman teaches in Tanya, every thought we have, everything we say and everything we do is either out of love for someone or something or due to a fear of someone or something.
LOVE = ATTRACTION
FEAR = RETRACTION
Love creates an attraction – a desire to unite with the person you love, or to attain that which you believe will be pleasurable for you (say, a cup of Coke.)
Fear creates an avoidance/retraction from a person you are afraid of (who will perhaps shame you…) or from something that you fear will be painful to you (say a bee.)
Unconditional Love
The state that we need to work towards is a state of unconditional-love.
In other words, when we love the people we have chosen, as much as we love ourselves!
However, fear causes a chemical takeover in the brain, reducing our ability to think, and we are left functioning on the level of little children, with purely instinctive reactions.
The Power of Fear
At such moments, all our wisdom, understanding and knowledge disappears, along with whom we want to be (namely kind, compassionate, considerate, nice, etc.)
We simply become like animals that react only instinctively; namely, the fear: flight or freeze instinct, or in absolute desperation or even worse negative habituation, fight.
The part of the brain controlling our fear (the amygdala nuclei region) is a part that overrides rational thought – literally bypassing the source of our rational mind – the prefrontal lobes, hence creating only instinctive protective reactions.
If we are in a “state of fear” (worried, anxious, stressed) we cannot simultaneously be in a “state of love.”
Overcoming Fear
Rabbi Bechayah, the author of an incredibly wise Judaic classic called, “Duties of the Heart” writes, “The heart cannot hold the stimuli of fear and love simultaneously.”
As such we will mention the primary reasons why most people become fearful – based on the classic book of Jewish mysticism, the Tanya – and the methods that it advises to eliminate fear.

Fear 101
The first cause of fear is a person’s personal worries: be they financial, health, or related to their children (something or someone they love). The only way to eliminate this anxiety is to remember that The Creator is good. In fact, The Creator doesn’t have a “bad bone” in His “body.”
There is simply nothing but goodness in The Creator.
So if “creating positive intentions” (lesson 2) and “praying for good results” (lesson 1) haven’t worked for you, it is only because, according to the Divine plan, you are really receiving help, not a hindrance.
The story is told of three great mystics (including the author of the Tanya) who were discussing a war in which there were unfortunately many casualties. The first two mystics said, “If I was The Creator, I would have created fewer fatalities,” each one choosing the side which they would have assisted. The third and greatest mystic said, “If I was The Creator, I would have done exactly the same thing, but I would understand why!”
There Is A Master-plan At Play – And It Is In Your Interest!
In other words, try to understand that despite the pain you are in, there is a master-plan!
And the same way a child cannot understand how come his parents are forcing him to do his homework instead of allowing him to play in the fresh air, similarly our minds simply cannot conceive of everything that The Creator’s mind can.
Personal Pain Vs. Other People’s Pain
Now an important point needs to be clarified.
While we may trust that what The Creator is doing in our own particular case is for the best, we should always take the merciful approach, pleading with The Creator for grace, kindness, and compassion, and do the same for someone else in need. As explained in the second lesson, this then becomes your destiny from The Creator.
And furthermore, if you were, G-d-forbid, suffering, the last thing you would want is for someone to rationalize your pain by saying that “it is the best thing for you.”
As the Baal Shem Tov teaches, that though, “to trust G-d when “I am suffering” is the highest trait; to accept another’s suffering, is evil.”
To my mind, the classic book on human suffering and G-d’s response is, “The Book of Job.”
The essence of the book (in my humble opinion) is that when Job’s friends try to justify The Creator’s (seemingly irrational and unjust) behavior towards him, he replies to them, “Everything that you know (about The Creator) I do too.” In other words, “Try to comfort me over my losses; don’t try to make a believer out of me while I am suffering and in pain.”
This is not to say that it is not beneficial to help someone who is sick or in need, to trust in The Creator, for usually that is the very best medicine possible. However, if one does take this approach, it is not in order to create a believer, rather to help the person who is in pain, and usually people are smart enough to tell the difference.
Can We
Interestingly, eventually the Creator replies to Job’s agonizing search for the just cause of his suffering, and all the Creator tells him is a series of scientific phenomena which demonstrates how G-d is infinitely beyond human comprehension; hence Job says, “All my understanding of You was naught. I now realize, relative to You, I am but dust and ashes.”
In other words, Job understood that his mind’s rationale of why what occurred was unjust – could never be applied when dealing with an infinite mind’s vantage point.
Who is The Creator?
Now sometimes, people have the wrong idea about The Creator.
An atheist once told a Rabbi, “I don’t believe in G-d.” The Rabbi replied, “In The G-d that you don’t believe in, I don’t believe in either!”
People have a tendency to anthropomorphize G-d. They see The Creator as a very great human; thus they figure that The Creator desires power.
But the truth is, if we can compare The Creator to anyone at all, it would be to the love of a mother towards her tiny newborn baby, an unconditional love.
G-d created human emotions, and only He can inform us of what He loves, and the verse states, “I love you, says the Creator!” After all, are we not all His creations!?!
Understanding That We Can’t Understand Everything
It is when we expect to understand, and believe, that as our mind is capable of understanding some things, it should also be able to understand all things, that we get frustrated when we don’t; however, if we can understand, that it is impossible for a finite mind to understand an Infinite vantage point (for even the greatest supercomputer has zero intelligence relative to infinite wisdom / data) then, just like a child gains security by trusting in his parents without necessarily understanding their logic, similarly, we can remind ourselves that it is both possible and highly probable that the Creator can do something beneficial for us although we can’t understanding the mechanism.
Would not The Creator be absolutely limited if everything He could conceive of would be understandable to our limited perceptions / minds.
The Creator and Manager of the World is Good
So in summary, we need to understand that The Creator is good, and although we do not understand why what is happening is good, nonetheless, we can have the wisdom to trust in The Creator and this will take the stress and anxiety out of the situation.
Fear 201 – Getting Over Guilt
The second and most common reason for feeling fear is actually anxiety over whether or not we are doing the right thing.
In order to explain this fully, we need to clarify that within each and every one of us there is a Yetzer Hara – a demon – “a little devil” (in fact, an offshoot of the “big devil” the satan) whose job it is to get us to be depressed and sad, so that we will be unmotivated to be good, caring and loving people.
As the Baal Shem Tov teaches, “More than the Yetzer Hara desires that you should sin, he desires that you should feel guilty that you sinned.”
The Yetzer Hara – demon – “little devil” employs guilt as its primary weapon of offense. Although guilt seems like a good thing, a wise psychologist told me, “Guilt is the biggest energy waster in the world!” and she is right. After studying Jewish mysticism and realizing that this is how The Creator designed the world, I stopped feeling guilty for all of my negative desires, for they are part and parcel of the Yetzer Hara, which puts them into our minds.
(I can prove the Yetzer Hara’s existence, but it’s not for this short book; this is more about factual information on how we can help ourselves than about proofs.)
What really helped me was realizing that The Creator does not expect us to have only positive desires.
Our bodies and the Yetzer Hara instinctively produce negative desires, such as those for arrogance, anger, laziness, enjoyment over other people’s downfalls, pleasure and so on.
There is nothing wrong – again, nothing wrong – with having these desires, as long as we don’t act on them.
Getting over Guilt
The key to not feeling guilty is as follows: Firstly, you need to know that The Creator is good, and is looking to reward you for being good (as mentioned in the second lesson).
Secondly, you need to have practical expectations of yourself.
Practical Self-Expectations
In order to understand this, you need to actually study the Torah, the Bible and its commentaries. (I have written “Meditations for the Soul”, a booklet encapsulating – in a concise and modern format – most of the applicable Biblical laws and good suggestions for leading a happy, fruitful and productive life, which is available on my website.)
You need to study the Mitzvos (the Good Deeds) of the Torah/Bible, because what the Torah teaches us is never impossible nor improbable. For example, one religion writes that if a man looks lustfully at a woman, it is as if he has committed adultery.
Now, this is ridiculous, for the innate instinct in a man is to lust after a beautiful woman. As one elderly professor told me during the Monica Lewinsky story, that when he sees a young attractive woman, he naturally lusts after her.
In the Torah (the Bible) what is important is not committing adultery or other deviant sexual behavior. So it is not about the desire in the heart, rather about the actions we take.
For example, even if someone doesn’t desire to give charity but disciplines themselves and gives charity anyway, they have successfully done a good deed!
To a large extent it was The Creator’s will that we should be challenged by this demon – the Yetzer Hara – and give The Creator and ourselves the moral satisfaction of conquering it.
As Rabbi Josef Isaac Schneersohn, the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe writes that one cannot compare the pleasure a farmer would get from the produce reaped from a fruitful field in a perfect climate, to his personal satisfaction if he managed to take a barren dessert and give it life! So the greater the challenge, the greater the sense of accomplishment!
Self-Control
Thirdly, a person must have self-discipline. For if we do not have self-control, we will never be able to live up to our own standards – for we know what we should be doing, but practically we do not have the ability to do it!
Self-control can take a long time to achieve, but the surest method was described in a book on education by Rabbi Josef Isaac Schneersohn. He writes that the way the Creator created us, we all have the ability to order ourselves around.
By telling yourself what to do, you gain the ability to control yourself.
In fact, studies show that one of the two traits of successful people is that they tell themselves what to do.
The following graph shows how behavior through self-control leads to happiness:
Ideal Actual
Thoughts = Thoughts
Speech = Speech
Actions = Actions

The Battle
A fascinating and most relevant statement of Kabbalah is, “The strength of the body/instinctual desires counteracts the strength of the soul’s desires.”
In other words, if you were running in one direction but at the same time you were being pulled in an opposite direction – based on how strong that pull is, will determine whether you will be going forward, at what speed, and perhaps, if you will even be compelled to go backwards.
Ironically, although it appears to us that our instinctual desires are what we want, they are not!
Everyone would like to be remembered positively by their family and friends, which only comes from unconditionally loving them, and hence giving to them.
However, in direct contrast to how powerfully our instinctual / selfish desires are controlling our thoughts, speech and actions, is obviously the converse; namely, how much less so our idealistic, Divine, altruistic, selfless desires are.
This takes places subconsciously.
So in other words, we are born automatically with selfish instincts and to overcome them we need to use our soul and mind to discipline ourselves.
Bullying the Bully
Now, there is another teaching from the Zohar/Kabbalah on how to overcome something that challenges spiritual seekers often and that is that for some reason, their soul or mind is incapable of altering their behavior.
As mentioned, when a person orders themselves around, they gain self-control; however, sometimes we find that the body simply refuses to listen to the soul or mind.
The reason for this is because the Kelipos (negative demons) controlling the atoms energizing the body are being arrogant.
So it would be like a bully blocking your ability to enter a door.
The Zohar teaches that the method to overcome this “dullness of heart,” is to break the barriers surrounding the heart. It gives an example of a large log that someone would like to use for firewood. If you try to light the log as it stands, it will not catch fire.
However, if you chop it up into small pieces, it will burn nicely.

So the way to eliminate the “bully at the door” and gain access to self-discipline is to humble yourself.
So think about all the bad, vile, rude, narcissistic things you have done. The greater your list, the more humble you will become!
As this is a common problem, perhaps it would be a good idea to designate a time daily or nightly when you do this, and it will truly allow for your soul and mind to gain dominance over your instincts.
There are no words to overstate this!
For example, addicts only turn around from their narcissistic, indulgent and self-destructive behavior (which they fail to recognize as such, for the instincts control their behavior) when they hit rock bottom : (.

Rock bottom is when the shame of the behavior is worse than the “gain / pleasure.” However if we can sometimes (briefly) shame ourselves, we can prevent our instincts from ruining our lives.
When we are not feeling ashamed or when we are feeling high (“mighty” though this may not be conscious) we are not able to see our flaws; for the Baal Shem Tov teaches, to the extent that our ego is high is the extent that our mind (objective reasoning and observation) is low.
Self-Control In The Mind
The truth is that we should also endeavor to control our thoughts.
And this in its own right is a very important concept! For by controlling our thoughts, we then gain self- control.
If our thoughts are just governed by what is pleasurable and what is not, namely I only think about what makes me happy… then we are never really thinking.
We are reacting to instinctual desires that percolate up into our consciousness, and our thoughts are merely part of the reaction.
(And unfortunately in “reverse psychology” when in the state of fear, we are sensing everything that can go wrong, and our thoughts are not attractions to what can give us pleasure, but possible danger scenarios, so we can protect ourselves.)
Changing The Airwaves
It will probably take you a few years to gain complete control over your thoughts, but without such control, you are walking in a jungle, at the mercy of whatever stimuli comes your way.
With the ability to control one’s thoughts, even someone in a prison labor camp can be free and sane.
As Dr. Victor Frankel writes, that although what the Nazis did to him was not under his control, nonetheless, his reaction to their truly atrocious, malicious and demonic behavior, through choosing his own thoughts, was!
Two Stories – Mind Over Instincts
At a conference in which the anti-Semitic Czarist regime were pressuring the Orthodox Rabbis in Russia to change Judaism and threatening pogroms if not, many of the Rabbis feared they had no choice.
So Rabbi Sholom Dovber of Lubavitch asked to be the final speaker and when he got to the podium, he said, “G-d placed our bodies, but not our souls in exile!”
Know that what you choose is under your control!
A blonde, blue-eyed Jewish girl worked for the Jewish resistance during the Holocaust, but unfortunately was captured and placed in a cell by the Nazis.
As a famous study on the psychology of the Nazis asserts, “The nature of evil is that it increases with power;” similarly in this case the psychopathic Nazi commandant of her jail would daily ask for a prisoner to light his cigar and then shoot the innocent person.
After starving her for three days, he called her and asked her to light his cigar, which she did – and then he asked, “Why aren’t you begging for your life, as the others do?” to which she replied, “Whether you shoot me or not is your choice, but whether I beg or not is mine!”
Gaining Mind Control
Again, through using the method mentioned by Rabbi Josef Isaac Schneersohn, namely telling yourself what to think, you can gain mastery over your thoughts.

Control Your Thoughts
Although your mind is always producing some kind of thought, what you think about is under your control!
If you tell yourself, “I will think a positive thought,” or “I will go listen to some music or read a book,” you can change the “station” playing in your head, and eventually you will reach the point where you will be talking in your head, and your head will not simply react to whatever stimuli your eyes’ see or that comes your way.
I marvel at the many Holocaust survivors who went on to build quality lives, getting married again (sometimes after losing their entire families) and often creating successful businesses, and sometimes even business empires.
Obviously, if they had focused on what the Nazis did to them, they would have never made it.
We in the West who have so much good (including freedom) tend to harp on minutiae that people in the East would find meaningless.
Observe The Observer
I recall as a young man my very wise, sagacious and kind father (who has translated many of The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s works) told me “Zevi you have to know yourself.” That led me to at least a year of pondering “what do I believe?” – Fascinating! (You may exist but have no idea.)
At a later stage in my life I started to watch my thinking – thank G-d it has reached the point where I could genuinely say there is probably not a single thought that I think, that I am not consciously aware of. (This is very important, for only if you are aware of your thoughts can you actually react / change them but if not you may exist but what is motivating you are your emotions (and even beliefs that have become emotions.)
Why We Need A Yetzer Hara
Now, the Yetzer Hara demon is actually a little devil given to man by The Creator to challenge man’s devotion to The Creator, goodness and kindness.
The Zohar, the primary book of Kabbalah explains that this is like a king who desires to test his son’s morality, so he sends his son to become a sailor in the navy. At the ports, the sailors frequented brothels (this is an olden day example). So this sailor-prince was approached by a gorgeous harlot who had been hired by the king to see if his son had the moral fiber to withstand this great test.
Similarly, the soul in Heaven is basking in The Creator’s Light and is like the Prince at a King’s table. Then the soul is sent into a body, and on top of that, the king hires an exceptionally adept harlot (the Yetzer Hara) to try to get the son to stray from the moral high ground and his true self!
The Lubavitcher Rebbe clarifies, that in truth the Yetzer Hara is a challenge for man’s benefit.
Precisely the challenges in life – like the fun of playing a video game which would lose its allure if there was no opposition, is what keeps us focused on winning the game of life and growing!
Another Thought To Beat The Guilt Induced By The Yetzer Hara
You need not feel any guilt over negative desires. You should rather feel proud, that precisely because you are thinking, speaking, and doing good, the Yetzer Hara (like an opponent afraid of losing a game) is working “overtime,” by giving you these negative thoughts; trying to prevent you from fulfilling your mission in life.
The Surest Method of Beating the Yetzer Hara
Incredibly, the best way to beat the Yetzer Hara is actually by being happy 😀!
This can be compared to two wrestlers. One would assume that the stronger wrestler will always win the match; however, it is often not the stronger wrestler who will win, but the happier one.
For if the other wrestler is sad or depressed, he simply won’t put up a good fight!
So by being happy, you give yourself the energy, motivation, vim to fight; however, if you are sad 😔 it will be very easy for the Yetzer Hara to beat you, in his constant vigilance in tricking you to sin, and then to feel guilty about it.
Another analogy would be of two people who are trying to climb a mountain – one full of hope, believing that he will make it to the top, and the other who is slightly depressed or does not trust in his ability to summit.
The optimist will succeed, for despite setbacks he is hopeful and believes he will make it, while the pessimist will take the setbacks as confirmation of his miserable luck, lose hope, and give up early in the game.
The Yetzer Hara’s Belligerence
The Baal Shem Tov gives us a good analogy on the Yetzer Hara’s belligerence. Once, a man bought a beautiful home. Now, a conman thinking, “How can I get this for free?” but, of course, having no money, came to the owner and asked to buy the house.
So the owner said, “It’s not for sale.” However, the next day, the conman returned and requested, “Can I possibly rent a room in the home?” Again, the man said “no.” The conman then came back a third time, and by now the man was exasperated, so the conman requested one simple thing, “Can you at least please give me a hook by the coat-stand?” Sensing that through this he would finally get rid of the pest, he said, “Yes!!”
But then, ceremoniously, every hour on the hour, the conman would come into the house to hang something on “his” hook. Completely exasperated, the owner finally said, “Here, take the stupid house!”
So, in other words, by not fighting our Yetzer Hara, we are, G-d-forbid, inviting him to completely control our lives : ( !
The Creator and Master of the World Wants You to Be Happy
There was a special edition of Newsweek magazine devoted to analyzing the latest research regarding children and educating children.
A poll had been sent out with the following question: “What do you want most for your child?”
The primary desire of parents was that their children should be happy. (Interestingly, the next primary desire was for their children to be moral!)
The Creator’s desire – as He is our parent – is that we should, quite simply, first and foremost, be happy 😀.
As the Lubavitcher Rebbe once told Rabbi Yoel Kahn, the author of the Chassidic Encyclopedia, “People assume that the road to G-d is through seriousness, but it is actually through joy!”
Last, but not least, the belief that many religious people have that the Creator seeks seriousness is built on the folly of anthropomorphization – sensing the Creator is like a great human, and then hypothesizing that just as humans seek to be served / power, similarly the Creator.
However the Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches there can be two possibilities – either that The Creator has an ego and because He is perfect has eliminated it, or, which is the truth, the ego, which is a demon given to man, is not even in existence by the Creator!
As such it is impossible for the Creator to desire anything but what’s in our best interest – there are no self-serving desires in The Creator.

Exercise #3:
Specify a few people who you want to start loving unconditionally (with no expectation of reward whatsoever.)

Chapter 4
Forgiving
The Seesaw of Human Relationships
Imagine human relationships as a seesaw.
As a child, you begin life with the feeling that you are lower than the adults (as you are dependent on them.) However, with your peers you feel equal, so now the seesaw is level.
Finally, as an adult, you feel superior to children younger than you. (This takes place subconsciously, so don’t feel bad about it.)
Resentments
If someone offends you, depending on the traits you picked up from childhood, you will most likely be passive (as children learn not to fight with adults since they are dependent on them) and what you will probably do is harbor an inner resentment.
Resentments, Illnesses, and Healing
Resentments have been linked to major illnesses, while healing resentments (forgiving people) have been linked to immediate recovery.

“Dis-ease”
Research has shown that we actually store emotions in our cells, and sometimes a negative emotion will cause a cell to go haywire, resulting in disease. As one friend of mine who came down with a terrible illness told me, “disease is from the word dis-ease.” Dis-ease can often cause disease.
Fear Causes Illness
The Baal Shem Tov calls anger “negative fear.” And research into the field of psychosomatic illnesses indicates that all illnesses – and certainly mental ones – are founded in fear and anxiety.
Forgiveness and Healing
One friend of mine had a thyroid problem for two years. He tried regular and alternative medicines but nothing helped. Finally, he went to a spiritual healer, also an M.D., who told him that he should discover what had happened in his life that had caused the illness.
He realized that around the time of contracting his illness, he had had a fall-out with a very close friend. And after forgiving that friend, he immediately began to feel better.
Brandon Bayes wrote a book called “The Journey,” about how she caused a massive tumor to slowly disintegrate, and actually became cancer-free within a month-and-a-half, by forgiving certain people (from a childhood memory). She has successfully taught many others “forgiveness therapy.”
Deepak Chopra, an M.D. who spends a lot of time investigating such phenomena, reports as a scientific fact that forgiveness works. However, he feels that some people have an ability to access forgiveness in their inner hearts, while others unfortunately don’t know, or haven’t learned, how to.
Eating Healthy
In addition, it pays to mention that all research (for example “The China Study” – the largest study in history incorporating approximately eight hundred million people) indicates that eating healthy foods – plant based foods (fruits and vegetables) and reducing our intake of all other, is the key to staying healthy in the first place.
It also pays to mention that a Harvard study of over ten thousand people discovered that fiber was the core benefit of the healthier Mediterranean diet.
The Rambam, who founded modern medicine (taking it from superstition to science) writes in his famous diet that being regular (one of the benefits of fiber) is one of the most important factors in maintaining health.
However, if medical issues do arise, The Rebbe advises to consult with a Doctor who is a friend and follow their instructions!
(In addition, for financial advice, the Rebbe advises, to consult a friend in business and in this way – just as if you ask a Rabbi a Judaic / life questions, G-d ensures that the answer is correct – similarly using this mechanism G-d ensures a correct reply.)
A Story
I recall that when I was a child, an adult once shouted at me for what he perceived was wild behavior (he was a very anxious individual.) Now many years later, as a young man, we happened to meet. And remarkably, he asked my forgiveness for shouting at me when I was a kid. “You probably don’t remember…” he said to me; but in point of fact, I did remember the incident.
And while I did not bear a grudge (after all, he was somewhat justified in my mind, as he was the adult) nonetheless, there was certainly some sort of psychological barrier between us in my mind.
Since his asking for my forgiveness, and my admiration that he should do so which of-course resulted in my wholehearted readiness to forgive, whatever perceived animosity that existed between us was replaced by my everlasting admiration for this man.
The same applies in a parent / child relationship; if a parent says something harsh as a reprimand, it is vital that later the parent does something affectionate to show the child that the relationship is “back on track.”
Ironically, what is a casual remark by an authority figure is taken as an absolute truth (and hence, unnecessary feelings of shame and hurt ensue) in a subordinate, child, or student.
There can be perhaps no greater cruelty than shaming – no possible greater cruelty than shaming a loved one, a dependent (such as child, student, wife, employee etc. – the hurt felt can sometimes take lifetimes to heal.)
The Only Parental Advice You’ll Ever Need!
While we’re on the topic, it pays to mention a piece of educational advice from the Rebbe.
Every Sunday for many years, the Lubavitcher Rebbe would humbly stand and thousands of people from all over the world would come and file past to receive a dollar for charity and a personal blessing and additionally the Rebbe would reply to any questions.
I saw on a video of “Rebbe Blessings” how a mother asked the Rebbe for educational advice, to which he replied, “Be a good role-model.”
The lady was dumbstruck, perhaps she was expecting something more complex, and you can see how she just remains standing there.
So the Rebbe responded that the advice was, “Simple, but effective.”
As Einstein said, “Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach!”
Forgiveness Vs. Revenge
If someone upsets you, you can either have an argument with him or her or simply choose not to think about them, waiting for time to heal your wounds.
Obviously, it is nobler to forgive the person. And according to one study I read, people who forgave others while hooked-up to blood-pressure monitors proved that the simple act of forgiveness caused an immediate lowering of their blood pressure by a whopping 30%. Conversely, holding onto a grudge is exceptionally harmful to you.
The benefit of forgiveness is that essentially you do not allow yourself to feel lower than the person who has harmed, insulted, disparaged, or mocked you. It is only natural to feel “put down” when someone insults you; but remember that what happens when you begin to feel lower than someone else is that our human instinct tells us to take revenge.
(Revenge is about “getting even;” in other words, as in the seesaw example, because someone lowered you, you now feel it is necessary to lower them, so the two of you can be balanced out…)
Obviously, it is a never-ending cycle. For even if you do get revenge, it will only cause that the person will then desire to lower you again.
As such it can become a never-ending cycle, which unfortunately happens often in relationships.
Ironically often what occurs is that a megalomaniac who uses “love” as bait then shames someone and as the nature of love is to do the wish of whom you love therefore the person (as in Stockholm syndrome) not only doesn’t fight the bully but in fact takes pleasure in their own abuse. They may begin to abuse themselves (for example there was a case of an Indian (from India) girl who burnt herself and her sister asked her (as she was quite normal before marriage) why? And I deduced that as her husband was constantly belittling her so she took on an identity (modeling after her husband) that the cool thing to do was to harm herself. ) :
A Story
Let me share a story with you. This is a story about an incident described by The Holy Rabbi Yisroel Baal Shem Tov as the hardest personal challenge The Creator ever gave anyone since Abraham was asked to bind his son Isaac as a sacrifice on the altar.
In the olden days, a man once traveled to a distant town. He came back home with his prize – an Esrog.
(The Esrog is a fruit used by the Jewish people during the holiday of Sukkos.) Now, this man could ill afford to spend money on an Esrog, and he had saved up penny after penny for an entire year in order to be able to afford this fruit

needed for the festival. His wife, seeing that he had spent his savings on an Esrog and not on the family’s needs which were dire, became embittered.
As she reflected on how she could have purchased the necessities etc. her sorrow increased and she bit off the top part of the Esrog, rendering the fruit useless as the fruit needs to be complete in order to be used for the tradition required during the festival.
Imagine having worked for many years, saved up a lot of money, and bought your dream car, and then in a fit of rage, a friend of yours takes your car for a drive, ignores the “low oil” symbol, and allows your car to overheat; your engine is now ruined.
How would you feel about your friend’s reckless and destructive drive? You would no doubt be livid. The owner of the precious Esrog however, refused to get upset with his wife. The man said to himself, “It seems G-d doesn’t feel that a simple Jew like me needs a fancy Esrog.”
(There is an interesting movie made in Israel with international acclaim called “Ushpizin” which is a modern rerun of this story.)
Verbal Insults
The Bible teaches us that we may never verbally insult another person, and the Talmud (a commentary on the Bible) explains, that verbal insults upset The Creator to the point that He ensures that justice is served.
In other words, “you get what you give” and “what goes around comes around.” A person should not upset The Creator by getting angry or taking revenge; he can and should leave it up to The Creator to settle the score.
Revenge Doesn’t Work
Look at what Zidan lost by getting angry with a player during the final part of the 2006 soccer World Cup. By taking revenge, he eliminated himself from the game, which probably cost the French team the World Cup!
In the end of the day, holding onto a grudge only hurts you. Forgiveness only helps You!
Forgiveness Therapy
Try to think of all the people who insulted you and all of the times you were slighted.
If need be, write them down, and write, “I forgive these people.”
Either Forgive or Confront
If you cannot forgive them, then confront them. Don’t hold it in. Write to them or tell them that you are upset with them for the wrong they have done to you. Firstly, it allows them to defend themselves if there was an appropriate cause. And secondly, it allows you to so-to-speak “balance yourself out” with them. For after the confrontation, you no longer feel victimized and therefore “lower” than them. (Of course the goal is not to be mean but to express that you were upset by what they did.)
Your Right
It is important to remember that as an adult, no one (not even your boss or your spouse) has the right to treat you with the slightest degree of emotional or verbal indignity. You have the right to challenge them and you should challenge them if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive them.
Who knows, maybe you will be helping them, as well, by so doing.
(It also pays to bear in mind that many people feel stressed out, and as such, although perhaps they themselves wish they could be nice, nevertheless, when things don’t follow their schedule, they can turn into monsters. All of this is because in childhood, they were either emotionally, verbally, or physically abused, and they never want to get abused again.
As such, subconsciously they believe that if they are in control (not a victim) the bad stuff will not occur again. So it pays to take the criticism of such people (sometimes called control-freaks) with not a pinch but “an ocean” of salt, as they are always hyper-vigilant – hence perceiving the slightest “abuse” or lack of order as a potential danger to their safety.
I once went to see a Dr. Psychiatrist friend of mine and I need help sorting out a relationship with someone – this person was a control-freak and he told me that “rigidity is a telltale sign.”
Of-course rigidity comes from fear, fear causes anxiety, anxiety causes a short fuse – so try to give them slack as they are hurting their whole life : ( unfortunately.)
Getting Over Anger
In addition, anger is never about the infractions of another, rather the perceived injustice to oneself!
So by recognizing that though what others have done may appear to be unjust – but as all comes from a just Creator and Master of the world; hence, their evil is actually a kindness.
For example, say you were minding your own business and a stranger slapped your back – instinctively, you turn around and your actual first reaction is to understand why this happened; if you see someone who looks compassionate and says, “Sorry, there was a bee about to sting you,” you will be grateful and actually love the person in return.
However, if you see someone mocking you with a bunch of cronies snickering, you may wish to get revenge.
In other words, by recognizing that pain contains a greater good, we eliminate our anger over the injustice.
The bottom line is that whenever we get angry, upset, faribled, resentful, it is always because we are attributing power to a human being, who is only a messenger from The Creator for a greater good!
The Kabbalah teaches that we should learn from Josef – for if anyone was entitled to be resentful, why his own brothers sold him as a slave, out of jealousy!
Yet, when he was in a position to take revenge he said to them, “I am not G-d; Though you intended evil, it was a plan from G-d, in order to feed the world!”
So by attributing the “crime” to The Creator, for a greater good, he felt no resentment, and was able to continue to give with unconditional love!
To be angry takes no greatness, it is a natural reaction; but to forgive takes a lot of greatness, it’s a supernatural reaction.
As the colloquialism, “To err is human, to forgive is Divine.”
Last but not least the Baal Shem Tov teaches to overcome anger we must (like a soup that got too salty) add (the sweetness) of more joy and love.
(Emotions are like ingredients – you can’t take the salt out of the soup! but you can balance it by putting in better and sweeter flavors – if you seek to be happy and not sour.)
Exercise #4:
Try to think of all the people who have insulted you. If need be, write them down and write, “I forgive these people.”
Bonus: If something bad has occurred to you, write down as many positive benefits that you can conjure up that may have resulted from it.
Big Bonus: Instead of feeling anger and resentment, try to feel compassion for the soul of anyone who instead of loving is harming, for compassion eliminates anger.
Big Big Bonus: Every night before going to bed, do the first suggestion – thus eliminating any new resentments that may have cropped up.
Big Big Big Bonus: Every night before going to bed, ask yourself, “What acts of kindness and growth have I achieved today?”
Biggest Bonus: When bad people make fun of you—even if they come up with convincing arguments—you should not only ignore it but see it as a message from The Creator that He wants you to double your positive efforts!
A person once asked the Rebbe, “I am building (he was a non-profit) in Jerusalem, but encountering many obstacles?!” Replied the Rebbe “this is because G-d wishes for you to double your efforts.”

Chapter 5
Gratitude
It is also true that our thoughts influence our day. If we believe we will have a good or a bad day, reality will follow suit.
The Awakening Thought
The first thought a person has when he or she wakes up sets the mood and tone for the day.
By being grateful in the morning, you will create that gratitude, joy and happiness will be the consciousness of your day.
This will enable you to have a great day.
Some of the best times in my life were when I took a few minutes in the morning to think of the blessings I have been given and comparing my blessings to others who lack them – thus concertizing the fact that they really are worth being grateful for.
This early-morning activity made me feel on top of the world and whenever I do it, it works!
I am sure you have heard the saying, “He woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” This is a true saying, for if we wake up anxious, chances are that the rest of the day will be an anxiety riddled day.
However, if we consciously create gratitude in the beginning of our day, we will create the mechanism for a happy and joyous day.
Modeh Ani – Gratitude for Your Soul
Religious Jews say the following prayer immediately upon awakening: “Modeh ani l’fanecha melech chai v’kayam she’hechezarta bee nishmasi b’chemla raba emunasecha.”
This prayer actually goes all the way back to the time of Abraham. In English, it translates as, “I am grateful to You, Living and Eternal King (meaning The Creator) for graciously restoring my soul back to me – You Are Very Trustworthy!”
The Kabbalistic belief is that every night the soul ascends to The Creator, and there it gives an accounting of its deeds during the day. This is consistent with what our Sages teach us, that The Creator not only judges man once a year on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New-Year, but in fact, judges us daily.
Change The Same
A story is told of an elderly water carrier who once asked the Baal Shem Tov to bless him, as his job – carrying buckets of water across his shoulders – was unfortunately causing him much physical strain. The Baal Shem Tov blessed him and presumably realized by Divine insight that his blessing would work. However, when he met the man a year later, the man was still carrying water.
Yet the man came running over to the Baal Shem Tov, very grateful and full of optimism and joy in life.
“Thank you for my blessing,” he said, “for although I am old, I am self-sufficient. I do not need to rely on anyone to take care of me.”
The Baal Shem Tov then said, “I now understand what it means when it states in the Talmud that a person is judged daily; for although his circumstance did not change, nevertheless his appreciation of his circumstances did! which gave him joy, gratitude, and happiness in life.”
Finding Good in Bad, Actually Transforms Bad to Good!
I should mention a powerful teaching of the Baal Shem Tov which is very worthwhile to practice. If a person is in a difficult circumstance, he should try to find the good in it. For example, I once went through a very traumatic experience with an individual who suffers from a particular personality disorder. People suffering from this disorder believe that they are better than everyone else due to what is called “artificial morality,” rules they create in their minds and follow, believing that this makes them superior to everyone else, while their real objective is often to shame other people, preferably in some kind of public forum.
Although I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, my experience at the hands of this individual strengthened me and I would not give it up for anything in the world. It taught me more about the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, haughtiness and humility, than any other experience could have.
So, by finding the good in the bad, the experience becomes good, and you continue your life with joy, happiness, and gratitude.
Blessings We Take For Granted In the West
I think that we simply don’t appreciate the blessings that we have in the Western World, because we haven’t experienced the pain of not having them.
If we were to live like the majority of the world does for one week, we would thank The Creator every morning, for our healthcare systems, for our freedom, for our abundance of food, for our ability to have leisure time, for the luxury of staying warm or cool in the winter or summer respectively, for the gift of long life, for advanced medical care that ensures low infant mortality, for the prosperity that allows our children many years of education, for democracy that lets us take part in legislating the laws that affect us, and the list goes on and on…!
It is critical to mention that studies show that watching the media induces anxiety and depression (the problem is that the media is there to causes us anxiety and depression for their profit motive of course is that you and everyone else should be fixated which they do as when you are in the state of panic (worry, anxiety) your need to then believe that things may improve turns you to continually watching (like an addict.)
East Vs. West
I once worked with Russian immigrants in America, and I would often ask them, “How are you?” and invariably they would always reply with the Yiddish phrase, “Abi Gezunt,” meaning, “As long as we’re healthy, we’re happy!”
Now these people had suffered many many years of persecution under the Communist regime; they had left everything behind in Russia, including their status, and were living in small apartments off government stipends, and yet they were happy as long as they were healthy.
Their attitude in life was one of gratefulness for the blessings that they already had!
Gratitude Meditation
Last but not least, if you need to, let your mind’s eye see the difficulties of the past, or the deprivation of many in the present, and then you can truly be grateful for what The Creator has graciously bestowed upon you today!
Exercise #5:
As you wake up, read the list that you made in Exercise #1 and say, “Thank you Creator for …” (If need be, you should think of people who do not have these things and it will strengthen your gratitude for what you have.
This does not mean feeling superior to them; in fact by becoming happy, you will be enabled to become a more joyous, hence giving person.)
Bonus: Additionally, it pays to mention that before we go to sleep, we should ideally:
A. Say thank you for all the good that occurred to us during the day.
B. We should account for our actions, speech, and thoughts during the day.
Many Chassidim – disciples of Modern Jewish Mysticism – spend hours, literally making an inventory of all of their thoughts, speech, and actions – seeing if they were good or not and furthermore planning even better behavior for the morrow.
C. Say the verse (part of the bedtime prayers, but the most important theme of it) “I hand over my soul to you (G-d). Please care for it, G-d of Truth.” (This is very important, for the Kabbalistic belief is that the soul goes into heaven at night and depending if we did the above three things is how high it will ascend.
The higher it goes, the more The Creator cares for it, protecting it from demons which pain a person at night through bad nightmares. Hence, the more refreshing and beneficial is the sleep and obviously the subsequent day.)

Chapter 6
Unconditional Love
Sample: Barbara decided to unconditionally love her two children Miriam and Jonathan, her husband Michael, her parents Bob and Sara, her sister Esther, and her stepson Josh.
Now that Barbara knows who she will love unconditionally, she needs to re-evaluate her relationship with these people.
Is she a good mother, daughter, wife and sister because she believes this is the correct way to live? Meaning, that as she will give, she will receive in return?
Conditional Versus Unconditional Love
Incidentally, a psychiatrist told me that most of his patients are women who cannot come to terms with the fact that they give so much to others, while others don’t give back to them! According to both the psychiatrist and myself, their giving was based on conditional love. In other words, there was an expectation of a return. And while this may be appropriate, nevertheless, such women become depressed when their conditions are not met.
If a person loves another unconditionally, they will not become depressed even if they receive nothing in return, for they are happy just to love the other person!
I recently saw a mother of a child with special needs speak with the greatest respect to her child. She believes that her son has a special soul and thus, in the most kind and honorable way, she always teaches him what he can understand – and as a result, he is a loving, caring child.
It is precisely when people are normal, and we believe that we can get something out of the relationship, that we subconsciously resent giving without receiving.
Marriage
One of the best ways to understand another person’s need is to identify with their level of need. For example, if a man doesn’t want to spend a vacation at his in-law’s home, it is important for his wife to think about how would she feel about spending a vacation at her in-law’s home?
If she wouldn’t have a problem with that, then she should think about spending a vacation somewhere she really wouldn’t want to go, and then she can identify with the level of her husband’s displeasure when considering a vacation at her parents to be a good idea.
This technique is brought out in more detail at the end of my booklet, “How to Find the Meaning of Your Life” in the appendix.
The Final Hurdle
Another very important point is that just as the division of all matter is Air, Water, Earth, Fire (which also follows the kinetic theory that all matter will change, from solid to liquid to gas based on the heat applied to it) there is also a spiritual counterpart in each of our souls corresponding to these four levels:
Earth refers to man’s innate drive for laziness, as earth is heavy and stays in one place; Earth also includes our innate tendency to feel sad – and even depressed – when things don’t go our way.
Fire refers to man’s innate tendency to enjoy supremacy over others.
This character trait is unique to the human “animal” as other creatures will only fight for hunger or other instinctual and survival related needs. They have no pathology that leads them to desire supremacy over others, which was the aim of kings and queens for thousands of years.
It is only in modern times that the concept that no man should lord over others has come to the fore. Needless to say this tendency is still very much innate within people – although it is frowned upon in democratic societies. Unfortunately having lived in South Africa and seen the catastrophe of Zimbabwe were the Dictator Robert Mugabe decided to expropriate land from white farmers devastating the produce of his country – the truth, which is racism, namely judging a group of people by their skin color has become unfortunately reversed. All people, as Martin Luther King said, must be judged only by the color of their heart (good or malicious) but to somehow oppress people with a fair skin color is just as evil as the reverse.
Air refers to our desire for “fun,” comedy, jokes, and other frivolous activities. Most of what we see on television or in the movies today falls into this category – it is mindless entertainment meant to squander our time on something that is “there but intangible,” containing no real value for you, or anyone else for that matter.
Water refers to man’s innate drive for pleasure: through eating, listening to good music, even intellectualism etc.
We all have elements of earth, fire, air and water in us; however, each person’s soul has a predominance of one of these elements.
For example, thankfully, I innately love helping people and I have strong feelings of compassion towards people (which is a real blessing, for this character trait has to be developed within those who lack it naturally, and it is not always an easy task) but unfortunately, I also have an extreme tendency to laziness / earth.
Overcoming Your Weakness
If I do not conquer my tendency to be lazy, it automatically stifles my positive quality of compassion, for compassion requires going out and doing something to alleviate another person’s pain, and laziness abhors action.
Now, in terms of the tendency of “earth people” to get depressed, here is some good advice to overcome depression: In life, we have a choice; We can see ourselves as the master of our lives and hence hate every stupidity that we do. (This is also why people get depressed, because they are angry at themselves for failing, or not managing to give themselves what they want.) Alternatively we can see The Creator as the Master! As the Rebbe wrote to a Survivor suffering survivor’s guilt, that belief in the Creator’s role as the Supreme and Sole Manager of Reality would naturally eliminate thoughts which create unrealistic expectations of oneself hence guilt. So even if we “failed,” because the world is predesigned, those failings are designed too (usually for the purpose of greater growth hence blessings in the future.)
Overcoming Our Innate Weakness
The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches that if we can discover our innate weakness and conquer it, then all of our other weaknesses will fall like a house of cards!
According to one of the greatest Jewish scholars, the Rambam, the method to conquering a person’s weak trait is for him or her to constantly oppose their tendency.
For example, if one is innately lazy, one must make an effort to be active and do things. And the more one is proactive and occupies oneself with productive activities, the more each and every action helps one to succeed to break this negative tendency.
The same applies to someone who is addicted to pleasure, making it his or her G-d. The more he or she refrains from pleasure, the more control they get over their life.
The person who is always a comedian should become more serious and realize that life is not a game – it is about doing acts of goodness and kindness. (Naturally, one can help someone else through comedy, but is the focus on helping another or on comedy?) The more serious the person gets, the less he or she will feel compelled to be frivolous and waste away their life.
The final innate negative desire is arrogance, or Fire, which is to some extent the greatest evil of the four. For arrogance immediately precludes feeling compassion for others. For as you feel superior to people, you cannot feel compassion for them, much as you don’t have compassion on an ant that you step on as you walk down the sidewalk. The arrogant person must try to be humble, constantly telling him or herself that everyone else is far better than he or she is, and that even if he or she has achieved, they should attribute that success to The Creator.
Moses was according to the Bible the humblest man who ever lived, and yet he was a great leader, a great ethicist, and in fact the person endowed with the most prophecy ever, according to the Bible. So how did He maintain his humility? The Jewish Sages teach that Moses believed that The Creator granted him great gifts; However he believed if someone else had had the same gifts, the other person would have surpassed his goodness and kindness.
Truly, we can never know if we are really living up to our potential!
(As humility is the only conduit to G-d; hence, precisely the humblest man was also endowed with the greatest prophecy.)
In general, whenever it comes to acts of goodness and kindness, we should never grow conceited, which would probably make the act a failure rather than a success. Rather, we should look up to the saints of the world, who do endless acts of goodness and kindness, and realize that we have just begun our journey into holiness – and the road is endless!
Additionally, never think you are superior to the people who receive from you, for without having whom to serve, we basically have no purpose to our existence!

In summary:
The main thing is to love, for then
You not only do a world of good for others,
You do a world of good for yourself!

Overcoming our innate weakness is the greatest possible achievement; far more difficult than scaling Mount Everest, building a company, or any scientific or intellectual endeavor. For when a person surmounts obstacles in a journey, every obstacle is seen as the antithesis (a boulder in the road) to the goal.
However, when one is conquering one’s own innate tendency, every time he or she fights themselves, they are at a crossroads: “Should I do the right thing or follow my instinct?!”
To conquer oneself – to gain self-control – is the purpose of life, and what makes all subsequent achievements, dear and valuable to you, to your society, and most importantly, to your loving Father in Heaven!
Exercise #6:
Resolve to love unconditionally the people you have chosen (Exercise #3) and try to do acts of goodness and kindness during the day for them.
Bonus: I was invited to give this course at a company in Manhattan, and the CEO of the company asked, “How can I actualize daily, acts of goodness and kindness for those whom I choose to love unconditionally?” The Rabbi who introduced me to this company made the following practical, relevant, and simple suggestion:

Think something positive about whomever you have chosen to unconditionally love, daily.
Say something positive to them – like call your wife or husband or child or best-friend and say, “I just want you to know that I am thinking about you’, or ‘I love you!’”
Buy them a small present, for it shows them (especially your wife) that they mean the world to you, for you have taken some of your time which you could have spent selfishly, and instead acted selflessly!
To Summarize – This book is based on how to live the motto of The Holy Baal Shem Tov, founder of Chassidus, “Modern Jewish Mysticism:”
“Fear no one or anything but G-d.
Love everyone with all the fire of your heart and soul; no matter who they are or what they’ve done.”
In the end of the day, the genius of the Baal Shem Tov’s teaching is that instead of allowing our mind to be dominated by our instinctual desires (and even worse, G-d-forbid, fear or hate – the cause of all malice in the world) our mind, through using the various ideas mentioned throughout this book, becomes the programmer of our emotions – conquering fear, eliminating resentments, and the pillbox, producing the happy, loving (hence giving) and perhaps most importantly – humble (and forgiving) person.

Appendix 1
Discover The Meaning Of Your Life
In 5 Steps

Chapter 1
What is Meaning?
We need to firstly define what meaning is.
If we look in the Oxford dictionary under meaning we find:

What is meant,
Significance,
Importance.
A look under meaningful is able to reveal even less:
Full of meaning,
Logic, able to be interpreted.
A look under meaningless seems to do the trick for me, “Having no meaning or significance.”
It seems that to explain meaning, the word “meaning” is used. That doesn’t really help us, for we want to know what meaning is!
If you don’t have a clearly defined idea of what meaning is, you need not worry for even great psychologists had great difficulty in describing meaning. As all feelings it is practically impossible to describe.
Think about loneliness, happiness, anger, pride.
Try to describe these in words. The best we can do is describe behaviors that are produced by these feelings which we recognize as having their genesis (their origin) in these feelings. Take this sentence for example, “After he insulted me I whacked his hand.” This is an obvious behavior that has its origin in anger.
“I felt so happy when my friends returned, we immediately schmoozed about their trip overseas.” Loneliness is the cause of happiness in this case. When the friends returned, the feelings of loneliness subsided and an important human need was fulfilled.
How about this? “Whenever I make the high jump, the claps from the audience sounds like music to my ears.”
Obviously someone’s joy is caused by the audience’s recognition of his achievements.
People rarely express their emotions in words.
Hallmark Cards makes many millions of dollars by expressing emotions in a picture or a few choice words and then a person happily purchases the card and signs their name.
Meaning in life is neither an emotion nor a feeling, rather it is a perception. A person perceives that their life is meaningful or not.
Some perceptions are made via the senses like “is it light outside,” or “how loud is that guys stereo!” or “this flower smells great!” or “This feels hot!” or “This tastes terrible!” while other perceptions are made via the intellect, like two plus two equals four, or, “When I say to people that they stink, they begin to hate me.”
The intellect can also conceive of new ideas, as well as judge old ideas by objective standards.
Essentially this is the job of a Judge. They look at a behavior and they decide if this behavior is criminal, based on an objective standard of what is legally considered criminal.
A person who does not judge themselves favorably is someone who decides in a sense that their behavior is criminal or not right.
Many people have many resolutions that they would take if they could keep them; All of these people perceive that they should be changing their behavior and feel bad when they are not. [How many smokers wish they had stopped smoking already, just as people with many different sorts of bad habits and other mental or emotional ailments.]
Behavior can be changed.
It is the desire not to change behavior that gets in the way of changing.
For example, let’s say I need to study for an exam in university. This means I need to do some boring reading which I don’t want to do, particularly because a favorite show of mine is on tonight. I can now choose my behavior; it will take self-control to study for the exam.
Many people lack this kind of self-control. They basically live their lives in what can be best described as crisis control. They are controlling their crises. Only a crisis gets them to respond, and do things that they don’t want to do.
Crisis control people will find it difficult to achieve meaning in life for they will consistently be perceiving themselves as not doing that which they themselves think they should do.
It is not a very good feeling to look at oneself and decide that “I could have done more” or “I should be doing more, but I am not because I can’t control myself.”
Although this is not a good feeling, many people don’t realize that they have the power to change their behavior. They believe that they are stuck and they need to fulfill their emotional passions.
For this reason, we will discuss briefly how a person is able to control their passions, which will help some people in their mission towards achieving meaning in their life.
Like I mentioned, for many people this is necessary, as it is impossible to achieve meaning if a person cannot control their behavior.

Chapter 2
The surest way for a person to be unhappy in life is to do every desire that comes their way – in other words, into their mind.
People are naturally endowed with various different abilities of self-control.
This ranges from lots of it to none of it. There is no one who is perfectly able to control their urges and desires. It is difficult for everyone, the only question is how difficult.
There is a theory that children who are labeled attention deficit disorder are normal children, only they have a lesser ability to control their desires.
Let’s face it, no child likes to be studying math at 2:00 pm. It has no relevance to their lives, certainly not at their tender age. The difference between the ADD child and the “normal” child is, that the normal child controls their urge to talk in class, while the “ADD child” has less self-control.
In a way, this theory is true, for a person can see that an ADD child is remorseful but they can’t seem to stop their behavior.
It is as if they’re saying, “I understand your feeling, but this is my limit.”
“Normal children” are just better at limiting / controlling their behavior.
Some children even at a very tender age are excellent at limiting their behavior for a better goal.
A fascinating study is reported in Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence” where he describes how kindergarten children were given an option of one marshmallow now or two marshmallows in ten minutes.
Only very few children could wait the ten minutes for the benefit of getting a second marshmallow.
Most children lacked the self-control to wait, so they opted for one now.
Most importantly, these children were tracked throughout their school career, and unsurprisingly they were better in every social and academic field than their peers.
In almost every academic or social setting self-control is necessary for success.
You need to study, which takes self-control. You need to be patient, which takes self-control. And the list goes on and on.
Why is there this dichotomy between the desires and self-control? The answer is found in the very structure of the human.
Imagine an animal for a moment. They have no self-control issues, for they have no perception of self. All they know is that, “I want something and I will do what it takes to get it.” They can be trained to do tricks, but that means they know that in order to get what they want, they need to sit or stand.
Essentially what they want dominates their behavior and they learn how to get what they want.
Sometimes they might need to do a trick for their food, but they have no choice in the matter. If they were given the choice, they would take the food without the trick.
A human has a very strong perception of self, which gets stronger as they grow from infancy to adulthood. A little child is not very different from an animal in its lack of perception of self. Once this perception develops, a new human emerges and that is what we will call the “human ideal.”
That ideal is the human, as the human wants to be. Most often, a little child wants to be like a parent. That’s why girls play with dolls and boys dream of being fireman and policeman, which are important jobs to them, as symbolized by the flashing lights and the ability to go through red lights.

Chapter 3
The important thing to remember when one is searching for meaning, is to understand the principle of the price one pays for meaning.
Like all good things in life, meaning in life comes at a very high price.
The price is making time and spending your resources for helping others. Although this may seem like a small price, it is actually quite difficult, for the reason, that when someone needs something they feel the need, but when someone needs to give something, then they need to create the understanding of how the other person feels in order to understand the need.
It is impossible to feel an emotion that is not felt by oneself internally.
One can never imagine how a blind person feels, (chas veshalom / G-d forbid); one can never imagine how an autistic child feels; one can never imagine what it is like to have much more or much less than one has, or ever has had.
Only a person who has been in a similar situation can possibly feel the same way and understand how the other is feeling.
This is why the 12-step program in a group, has tremendous success. For a sufferer meets other sufferers who know what it is like to suffer.
Great Rabbis were most often great counselors to people. A rule among the most professional and caring of these Great Rabbis was that they needed to identify with the problem the sufferer had.
No matter what the problem was, they made sure to find within themselves something similar to that problem and only then did they allow themselves to counsel the people who came to them.
This is the logic behind the Biblical instruction to “Love your neighbor as oneself.”
Seemingly this is asking a lot of an individual. But in order to do kindness to another in their time of need, you must picture yourself in their situation and imagine the pain they are feeling – only then will you realize and feel the need to do something about it!
Freud explained that people do not exaggerate their needs.
This means, if a person feels that they are under intense pressure, it makes no difference if they are under a “paper clip” or “under a ton of bricks.” The perception can be the same for different people.
People normally associate what others are feeling with how they would feel in a similar situation. There are two problems that we have when we are trying to identify with another’s problems. The first one is that we do not properly understand the situation because we are not feeling it directly.
This means that we can only compare it to how we would react in a similar situation. Because we were never in the situation, we don’t actually know how we would react, and therefore we do not know how difficult it is for the other person.
The second problem is that people are wont to look down at others and decide that the other person should be far “stronger…”
Of course (chas vshalom / G-d forbid) if we were in that situation we would be very sad and want pity rather than a lecture of how to be strong… but when we see another in a situation of need, many think, “Be strong and heal yourself.”
For these two reasons, it is an absolute necessity to try to listen objectively, and trust what the other person is saying.
If the person says something is “very difficult for me;” think about what was very difficult for you and compare the level of difficulty the person is describing to that very same level of difficulty you had.
Don’t think, “How would I be in this situation…” because you are not in that situation, so you don’t know.
Rather think that what the person is saying is true. And the reality is, that it is how they are feeling.
So disregard the stimulus and compare how they are feeling to a similar level of anxiety or pain that you have once felt.
If you can’t do this, you will not see the necessity, urgency, or difficulty the person is facing, for you will have no means of understanding it.

Chapter 4
This chapter will summarize the main ideas of the previous chapters and will guide you on a step-by-step process to achieving meaning in life.
I will warn you however, that there is a tremendous gap between knowing the steps and knowing how to dance.
It is fairly easy to read the steps, it is more difficult to do them, and it is far more difficult to do them gracefully. For this reason do not expect to learn the steps and then succeed.
This will only cause you grief later, just as if you were to learn how to dance from a book and then expect to gracefully waltz on the dance floor. It will take patience and practice!
Knowing that this, and only this, will be of lasting importance and will fill your life with meaning and purpose should help you take the difficult practical trials into a graceful life full of happiness and meaning.

Step 1. Identify who you can help in your life.
First, imagine that you are a child, and remember that desire to receive love and affection from your parents. Now ask yourself, who looks at me like a parent? Perhaps it is a spouse, perhaps you have children, maybe you are an employer so you have employees who see you as such.
How about if your job is of tremendous importance to others, like a doctor or a plumber in a time of crises.
Who looks to you for help and assistance? Now you know who you can help. Forget about saving the world, or even saving your country, or even your city, or even your own community organization.
Think only about those people. “What can I do for them that I would have enjoyed if my parents had done for me when I was in need of assistance?”
The key is to try to imagine their need and compare it to a serious need of your own.
Don’t compare the situation, but compare the need.
I am sure there were times that you felt hopeless, in need of encouragement, someone to give you advice that would work and similar situations.
Compare the intensity of need with the intensity of need that you have had, and then you have accomplished step one.
You know who you can help.

Step 2.
Define a strategy
There is no use knowing a need without a solution. Define a strategy.
This may be very easy or very difficult. If it is in your area of expertise, you may very simply be able to help the person. For example if you are a doctor and you have someone in need, if you know that illness, it can be very easy and almost automatic to define a strategy.
If you do not know what to do, there are few things worse than offering help to someone who looks to you for help, only to learn later that you not only did not help the person, but you wasted all the time they were looking to you for help, when they could have gone to someone else.
The point is, don’t fix problems unless you are an expert!
You are not the focus, they are!
For this reason, you need a strategy that will help the person. This may be going to an expert or perhaps you becoming an expert, but don’t harm a person that needs help, for that will openly become a point of shame in your life.

Step 3.
Implementation.
A strategy is only good if it is implemented. If you don’t implement the strategy there is no use to making it and wasting your own time.
Implement, implement, implement!
Implementation is achieved by self-control, which we discussed earlier.

Step 4.
Pretend that you did nothing
People do not like to receive, for then they are beholden to the person that they received from. It is very important to understand this. Think about how much you owe your employer or best customer etc.
You owe them. To put a person in a situation where they owe you is only to change their problem.
Of-course it is better to help a drowning person than to say, “I won’t save him or her so they won’t owe me,” but if at all possible you should say, “Wow, isn’t that amazing? I just was driving by here with my boat and I saw you. Are you o.k.? etc.”
The less effort it took for you to save the person, the less he or she owes you. It is difficult to overstate this point. Don’t say, “Boy I just used my last dollar to put in fuel in my boat after I saw a mile away that you were drowning and I ruined my watch that Grandpa James left for me when I picked you out of the water, but I am so happy to help you. Are you o.k.?” Obviously, the person will feel very indebted and few people are sophisticated enough or have the ability to repay the debt in full.
Remember, make it like there was as little effort as possible in what you did!

Step 5.
Maintain a Friendship
This is probably the most difficult of all the steps for after you have done the good deed you may want to congratulate yourself and drink a beer. That’s not how it works.
When you help someone, you become very important to them, just like your parents are important to you. You now need to be there for them. They will look up to you even if you think you are a nothing.
They will obviously think that you are a something.
Just be their friend. Ask how they are… Congratulate them during their good times and sympathize with them during their bad times.
Be a friend!

I will give you an absolute guarantee that these five steps, preformed consistently and at available opportunities, will fill your life with meaning. You will find happiness and joy!

You will see that your soul has an important mission in this world and that only you can fulfill it.

Remember, nothing good comes easy and if you’re looking for the very best, which is happiness, it will come with lots of effort.
In fact, the more effort you will put into these five steps, the happier you will become.
Go ahead. Make your life meaningful!
Good Luck!

A Soul Stirring Short Story
When Rabbi Sholom, the fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe was a young boy of five, he and his brother Zalman played “Rabbi and student.”
Zalman put on a black hat and Sholom asked the following question. “I forgot to make a blessing on my apple this morning, what should I do?”
“From now on” said Zalman proudly, “you should say your blessing from the Siddur (prayer book) and in this manner, you won’t forget to say your blessings!”
“You aren’t a real Rebbe” exclaimed the younger Sholom. “Why not, I gave you good advice?!” replied Zalman. “A real Rebbe, first sighs with you, and only then does he give you advice” answered Sholom; who went on to become a mentor for tens of thousands of people.

Appendix 2

Pleasure vs. Meaning
If a person looks at life as a place to achieve pleasure, they will receive no answer as to why they were born.
The ability to achieve pleasure has been reached by the chemical substances known as drugs that allow people to feel temporarily great amounts of pleasure.
Pleasure is certainly non-equitable with happiness, for if you asked those drug users if they prefer to be happy or on drugs, they will tell you they prefer to be happy.
They are using drugs because they are unhappy! and it is this unhappiness that leads them to seek pleasure.
This is often seen in people who are going through a midlife crisis; their desire to have pleasure increases as their unhappiness with themselves increases.
Ultimately, happiness is a sort of pride that one has of oneself.
A person is proud of one’s achievements.
A person who behaves in ways that offer pain to others will not be happy even if they receive much pleasure in the things that are causing pain to others.
Happiness comes from knowing that you have made a meaningful difference in another person’s life.
Time is very precious, because before a person knows it, the opportunities to make someone else happy are gone.
How many people have lost out on the amazing opportunities of helping another person, just because they were too “busy” at the time…
When they look back at the circumstance, they often feel bad that with a little bit of selfless effort on their part, they could have brought happiness to another person.
There is an added dimension to happiness in that when you make someone happy you feel as if you were born for a reason.
Look carefully at your opportunities to do good.
If you can tell that you are in a situation to help someone, think if there is anyone else in the world who is in the same situation where they care enough, and have the ability to make a difference?!
You may be surprised to find that in this particular instance, to this particular person, you (and perhaps you alone!) have the ability to make a world of a difference.
Saving the world is not a problem at the current moment and if it was, governments would probably find professional people who would advise them on these issues.
Helping one person in a particular situation that you know about is saving that person’s world and will bring you a world of happiness!
For there is no better feeling than to know that you made a world of difference to someone’s world.

Appendix 3
Kabbalah on Marital Intimacy
“Therefore man should leave his attachment to his father and mother and bond with his wife and they should become one body.”
I was giving a lecture in New York and I mentioned “sex.” One of the women came over to me afterwards and said, “Marital Intimacy, is a nicer word.”
Now that you know what I am talking about, you are probably wondering why, I, a Rabbi, am writing a booklet on Marital Intimacy?
The truth is, that “Reishis Chochmah”, one of the foremost books of Kabbalah, relating to the practical side of applying Kabbalah in one’s life, states that:
“Marital Intimacy is in fact the great goal of mankind!”
Highlighting the centrality of this book in Jewish mysticism, the disciples of the great Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi needed to know this book by-heart before they would come to study from him!
You know, one can tell how important something is by the challenges that are placed by the satan (an angel created by The Creator to challenge our sincerity and devotion to The Creator / goodness and kindness.)
And if there ever has been a challenge, there is no greater challenge than to have good and holy marital intimacy.
I recall reading an article where the writer mentioned that people in the olden days used to ask their Rabbis about intimacy, and it appears that we should do so today as well!
Here is a fact: most couples stop having Marital Intimacy a few years after they are married.
Now the reason why this is so devastating can be traced to the fact that more than fifty percent of marriages today end in divorce. There is no doubt in my mind that the key to a happy marriage, is good Marital Intimacy.
When there is good marital intimacy (and we will define good later) unity of mind and body necessarily follow. And the key to a marriage, is unity of spirits. (When husband and wife are on the same wavelength.)
In fact, the Bible begins, as the primary reason for marriage, “It is not good for man to be alone… And therefore man should leave his attachments to his father and mother, and should unite with his wife and they should become one body.”
In other words, the very reason for the perception that Marital Intimacy is not a good action in many people’s minds, namely, Religion – is in fact advocating, as the primary purpose for marriage, or at least the primary mechanism to create harmony in marriage – marital intimacy!

(Christianity and specifically the Catholic Church created the illusion, that only due to the weakness of man, are people allowed to have Marital Intimacy – whereas their “priests” abstain.)
However the Creator of everyone and everything, our loving Father in Heaven most importantly and primarily created this world for unity and harmony / love.
The Creator of mankind desired harmony to ensue.
And in order to do this, He created a pleasure system, whereby two lovers would both gratify each other.
Hence, just like two people who give each other pleasurable presents would deepen their bond – similarly, the bond between these two people would be deepened as a result of their pleasurable act for one another.
Now, the great mistake made by the Church, as well as many other faiths, is that they see reality divided into two realms: 1. Moral, Spiritual, and devoid of pleasure, and the other one, Pleasurable, Decadent, and Sinfully-Delicious.
As such they assume that the greatest act of pleasure, must also be the greatest sin!
And hence we find the obsession in the media with sex, almost as if they are exposing a taboo.
The truth is, that the common human mistake of associating pleasure with sin, and morality with serious hardnosed self-discipline is wrong.
Morality is when humans unite with one another – for morality is defined by The Creator and this is what The Creator desires! As evidenced by the fact, that Rabbi Akiva states, that the most important commandment of the Bible is, to
“Love your friend as much as you love yourself!”
And it is really not so much about the love in your heart, rather the unity that the love in your heart will naturally create – for hearts reflect love.
Now, there is no better technique to unite two people than marital intimacy. I recall watching an Oprah show, which was all about marital intimacy in the bedroom – or should I say, the lack thereof. And one woman spoke how she had Marital Intimacy as often as possible with her husband in order to maintain a good relationship, and when they don’t have it, their relationship with one another is not as good.
The whole audience applauded her, and the expert on the dais said that what she was doing, which was right, was that she was giving her attention to what was most important in her life – her relationship with her spouse. Which obviously affects her children, etc. What I find so ironic is that the very culture that has so idolized intercourse, has none of it.
In fact, the famous Kinsey surveys on intimacy in the bedroom discovered, that the group that has the most marital intimacy in a lifetime (obviously with the same partner) were Orthodox Jewish men.
Now, the very group, whom secularists laughed at for being too prude, were in fact having the most, again the most Marital Intimacy – more than any other group in America, which again is as ironic as it gets.
The secret to Jewish Marital Intimacy is quite simple – it is called “Taharas Hamishpacha” and is based on The Creator’s advice in the Bible.
Many psychologists have discovered that the primary reason that couples stop having Marital Intimacy is boredom.
The Talmud describes it, as usual, best: “There is a little limb in man, that the more you satisfy it, the less satisfied it gets; but the less you satisfy it, the more satisfied it gets.”
Now the Bible, The Creator’s wisdom and instructions for living both a happy and harmonious life states categorically, that from the onset of the period for five days, and then seven days following the cessation of blood, husband and wife should not have Marital Intimacy.
Now, the benefit is very simple indeed. Because religious Jews follows The Creator “religiously,” therefore, both husband and wife are “forced” to physically separate (…from intimacy) during these two weeks.
(BTW Gentiles too can choose this separation period.)
As a result, during these two weeks, their innate desire for one another is rekindled; and hence so many husbands and wives report they feel like newlyweds on the Mikvah night.
(The Mikvah is a body of water connected to original rainwater or a natural spring, in which the wife dunks in after the two weeks; and it spiritually rejuvenates the woman, and religiously allows for the Marital Intimacy to resume.)
There are many many books that deal with both the beauty and practicality of these rules – my booklet is more of a general nature.
The point is, that our whole attitude on Marital Intimacy has been clouded by the Church (and I am not blaming the Church, for as mentioned, it is a common human error/assumption.)
The Man’s Role
Now, another very important factor is that the Bible places the responsibility to initiate Marital Intimacy – in fact one of the three primary obligations a husband has to his wife – on the husband.
In other words it is the husband’s obligation to initiate Marital Intimacy.
It is his duty and responsibility, whether he is in the mood or not.
He must, again must (obviously only if his wife wants it) initiate and please his wife.
Now, this is the great challenge The Creator gave man.
For men “can’t be Dogs!” What do I mean by this?
Dogs are peculiar creatures. Having lived in South Africa – which is like a dog paradise, for everyone has guard dogs, I got to observe, up close and personal, their behavior. When they are in the “heat” / mood, boy they can’t stop barking at you.
They are so emotional, they cannot contain their passion! And are literally like a chicken without a head. However, when they are tired (perhaps hormonal etc.) you can walk past the same dog that a few hours ago would have gone absolutely ballistic over you, and it is as if he is dead!
Gone are his emotions, passion, excitement. He is just like a lazy lion, doing nothing.
In other words, men have a double challenge from The Creator. Firstly, to not be a “dog” in terms of not being able to control themselves. So, when they are excited and their wife is also interested, their Marital Intimacy must be focused on giving pleasure. One very clever Jewish lady whom I asked for some advice before marriage told me,
“If a woman does not receive pleasure during Marital Intimacy, she feels raped.”
On a very simple level the Talmud teaches that the reason The Tzaddikim (the Righteous Saints) are rewarded by G-d is because they spend a lot of time in marital intimacy. Studies show that to women what is most pleasurable is actually the Hug / The Marital Embrace.
As such a. simply ensuring that the atmosphere is one of sensitive mutual love, b. including as the Ramban teaches, telling a wife how dear she is to him, and c. Slowly! engaging, and truly holding / being together – is the husband’s marital duty and what will create an everlasting appreciation, unity, and love.
So the husband cannot be a “dog.” He must have self- control. (The fact is, that self-control is a major subject in its own right and I don’t think it is possible to begin having self-control in bed.
A person needs to truly work on delaying gratification in order to learn how to have self-control.
Whenever you want say to have a chocolate, just put it down for two minutes, and this process of delaying gratification will educate you on how to have self-control – and you may be very proud of yourself for it!
Without self-control we really are like an instinctive animal; just running towards what gives us pleasure and recoiling from what we fear/what may harm us. But with self-control, we can become the greatest person in the world!)
Now, the second “dog challenge” is when the husband is not in the mood. Here, he needs to not be like a dog and figure, “Well, if I’m not in the mood to bark like a nutcase, then my owner doesn’t need protection from criminals either!”
He must realize, that his wife (obviously if she wants intimacy) loves him, and truly desires this Marital Intimacy. I think a good example of this would be as follows. Imagine someone who is hungry, but because you are too lazy, you don’t feed them!
What To Think
Now, an additional point must be mentioned, which is the importance of one’s thoughts during Marital Intimacy; particularly, if one is trying to conceive a child.
In Reishis Chochmah the story – true story – is told of a queen who gave birth to a dark child, and the king thought she committed adultery and wanted to kill her.
Now, one of his wisemen explained, that if she saw something black while they were conceiving, it could be that it caused the child to be dark.
In fact, Reishis Chochmah gives the following example (and you should apply this to every part of your life) Just like a hose of water – when you pour water into the hose, if it is arched in a semi-circle, then the water will reach to the height of where the person began filling it; similarly, our thoughts go into heaven and then become our destiny!
They checked in the royal bedroom and indeed found a black object where the queen was looking at.
In other words, the child that you will give birth to will be affected by your thoughts.
So you should firstly, never think of another woman, and I assume I need not tell women of other men.
But most importantly, you should picture something holy, like a letter from the Jewish Alphabet or the face of a Tzaddik/completely righteous individual, like the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem and Mendel Schneersohn.

Addressing Modern Perversions
Now we need to address a sick reality that has become the norm in permissive western societies and that is the issue of hooking up.
Rabbi Freedman was once talking to a group of teenagers and asked them, “Who created the idea of marriage?” It is so central to our way of life, we often don’t think about it.
But as the Rambam (one of the greatest codifiers of Jewish law) writes: “before the Bible, people would simply choose a wife and cohabitate.” Rabbi Freedman continues, “It is the Divine Creator who taught us about the sacred bond of marriage, hence to keep this bond sacred we must follow His guidance.”
Effectively, biologically a man has an instinct to have intercourse – women are more emotionally attuned, hence are looking for a relationship.
A man who has random intercourse is guilty of raping the woman’s heart. In fact, according to the Bible, a man is obligated to marry a woman who he convinces to have intercourse with him (if it is technically a permissible relationship.)

For Women
Women always have had it tough – the dynamic of a relationship means that you need someone to fall in love with you.
While technically, practically and altruistically this seems like a very simple thing, in actual fact it is very difficult. The reason for this is simple: As a Family Mediator we have a rule, you can only mediate between people if they both look for mediation. You cannot force someone to want something. We men by nature are more solitary.
Rabbi Jacobson taught, that G-d made Adam alone and he needed to realize he was alone, and only then did He grant him the most incredible gift of a wife. But not long thereafter, he failed to appreciate this gift and happily blamed her.
We men have goldfish memories : ) We may long for a relationship, but the moment we are in it, instead of appreciating this Divine, absolutely amazing, unbelievingly unwarranted gift we now, like the proverbial dog with the bone, “Become King.”
In addition, the disastrous – and only you can stop a disaster! for thank G-d modern laws protect women but if you don’t protect yourself and choose! to not have intercourse before marriage! the disaster of men being able to have intercourse before marriage creates that in simple words, instead of them looking forward to a sacred relationship and “Happily Ever After,” it is like a (very sick) buffet.
On a practical note:
a. DO NOT OFFER YOUR BODY BEFORE HE OFFERS HIS SOUL (You do not gain the respect of a man, rather, disrespect, by being cheap.
By nature, men are “hunters,” and only will cherish that which is the hardest mountain to summit.
In other words, it is o.k. to have non-physical dating, but do not get physical until after marriage!
And if someone doesn’t respect this healthy boundary, they don’t respect you and most probably never will.)
b. Please realize, you are the most powerful person on this planet.
We live in an age when men (at least in democratic countries) truly revere, respect and believe in the fundamental dignity, right and opinion of women. Though the media, pornography etc. has done much harm (in objectifying women ) : nonetheless, this notion is still a subconscious truth to many.
Hence, you need to see yourself not as a recipient, but as a inspirer, not as a follower, but as a moral compass. And be willing to share – in the wonderful, kind and gentle style women are know for – that Your path in light, in G-d, in dignity is good for your future spouse, life, and marriage.
Can I Be Gay
Unbeknown to most Americans and people around the world, just like the movie “Inception,” in which the plot was about an idea which is “incepted” – brought into a mind forever, like a virus causing the host (in this case another mind) to think something that will cause it to self-destruct – almost every single one of the so called “progressive” ideas, in actual fact were implanted (over generations now) in the west by an enemy.
The Secret Service of Russia, formerly the KGB, now the FSU was / is an expert in this field.
In fact I personally know someone who was formerly a KBG agent, and according to Ian Pacepa the highest ranking Soviet General (he headed the KBG of Romania) the vast majority of Russian resources (in terms of military) are not focused on weapons, but mind war.
It is like the art of Judo – use your enemy’s strength (/weakness) to have them self-destruct.
Anyone who would actually like to understand this should read Ian Pacepa’s book “Disinformation,” but in brief, there is no such thing as a gay marriage.
This is exactly like George Orwell’s book “1984” in which he predicted Governments (in this case media) would create a fake language, to justify the unjustified.
If someone has (as unfortunately some do) a desire to kill – as one serial killer said, that was what he likes; he cannot identify himself as “a serial killer” and kill you!!
Right and wrong are not made-up words!!
If a person is a kleptomaniac (which there are…) he cannot walk into stores and steal, and in addition claim this as an identity.
A desire to do something which is destructive to oneself, and society is nothing but a bad desire and all of life is the process of a controlling bad desires (not overeating, taking drugs, revenge etc.) and b. doing more goodness and kindness.
Now as crazy as calling what is the opposite of marriage, marriage; is something infinitely crazier!
The one thing of the many thousands of ideas that my mentor and master Rabbi Schneersohn said – which I didn’t think was correct, but unfortunately is – as Rabbi Schneersohn witnessed how an otherwise modern normal society could fall under the spell of insanity (namely Germans turned into a “super race” – the idea that “their innate superiority allowed them to murder anyone they liked, babies etc.”) and the Rabbi said: this could happen in America.
We are witnessing the result of generations of Russian Disinformation propaganding immoral sexual instincts held by (in their own words ) queer people (or people who either genetically or psychologically or for whatever reason have a deviant desire) put on a moral pedestal.
A lady psychiatrist from Mayo Clinic said, “You can just as much change a person’s mental illness (namely “a male who thinks they are female!” or “vice versa!”) by an operation, as treating a person with anorexia (someone who thinks they are fat, when they are skinny) with liposuction : ) .”
The hallmark of all self-destructive ideologies is their obsession with perversion and anarchy, and the “regressives” – as in the people who caused the collapse of ancient Rome, as well as Greece, are infatuated.
(It is so ridiculous to have to state, but as you know EVERY SINGLE CELL IN THE BODY IS MALE OR FEMALE.
The basic scientific fact is: “Individuals having two X chromosomes (XX) are female; individuals having one X chromosome and one Y chromosome (XY) are male.
The X chromosome resembles a large autosomal chromosome with a long and a short arm. The Y chromosome has one long arm and a very short second arm. This path to maleness or femaleness originates at the moment of meiosis when a cell divides to produce gametes (the very first zygote, namely if a person is going to be a male or female is decided from at least nine months before birth in humans.)” (From Encyclopedia Britannica.)
In other words, the cult of saying a person – which shows how entire departments in universities are cults – (as was the case in the ridiculous nazi “philosophy”) that people get culturally assigned male or female when this is biological fact happening to every MAMMAL in-utero, is a group think which as Freud states, the group-think regresses to the level of an infant (illogical emotion.)
Furthermore the part which most defines us, our brain – according to the Institute of National Health (the US Govt. Scientific Research) has at least five major brain differences. Men have more grey matter which help with mathematical skills, women have more white matter which helps with language skills.
So unless someone can create – which is literally impossible – a brain surgery placing a male brain in a female the notion that giving someone dangerous hormones (that have long term negative effects) and surgically deforming the anatomy, changes what truly makes males and females think, and hence feel differently, is a cult of group think induced by Russian disinformation promoting people with mental delusions into heroes, revolutionaries, and “truth.” Not so different of people believing the insanity of Hitler. (Of-course, there are at least fifteen other major differences in the body, such as tone of voice etc. etc.)
Another one of the Russian Disinformation – yes believe it or not, the entire idea there is an ancient Palestinian people living in Israel when the ancient Philistines (fact check please) disappeared (as did all the other ancient tribes living in Israel two thousand five hundred years ago!)
In simple words, we can either be a cult member of what I term a “zombie militant cult.”
“Zombie,” for anyone posting the latest insane radical ideology – such as calling Israel “Apartheid” when it is THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE MIDDLE EAST (from all Arab countries) that gives her Arabs full rights. Not to mention BETTER (affirmative action…) education etc. shows on infinite foolishness.

Following without thinking or analyzing,, and the same applies to the insane idea of “reparations” etc.
(If they say, as many, to give them your money! Would you?!? And how long could such a system last? – For the money will disappear in a year.)
“Militant,” for there is a – perhaps introduced by President Obama who grew up in an intolerant Muslim country – a hostile attitude (instead of respect and dignity) to those who disagree (this usually comes from deep insecurity – for as Einstein said when Russia put a full-page ad, “100 Scientists Against Einstein” (as he was trying to limit the spread of nuclear weapons) “If I was wrong, one scientist would be enough”.)

And a “cult,” for as all good cults, the weapon of choice is simply shame.
Or you can, We Can! Join The Infinite Truth! which is obvious: Each And Every one Of Us Has A Body And Soul – We Are Chosen By An Infinitely Loving Wise, Kind & Generous Creator to Exist.
Our Unique Souls And Bodies Are Here So We Can Complement Each Other!
And only in the context of healthy boundaries, respect, and love – namely the respect for marriage and family – as statistics show – do we live meaningfully, as well as perpetuate life.

(For all these insane theories will die out if for no other reason than the lack of respect and commitment for family and marriage is causing low birth rates, and most of the western world has gone to a situation where there will be in their countries a population implosion unfortunately.)

Appendix 5

I advise you to work on the following Marital Harmony Plan in which you can navigate a positive relationship.
But first An Amazing Letter Advising A Husband How To Create Peace in His Home from the Lubavitcher Rebbe:
The Rebbe Writes
“I received some information about the relationship at home, but I do not know to what extent it reflects the actual situation. Hence I want to convey to you some thoughts in light of what the relationship should be according to Shulchan Aruch (The Code of Jewish Law) the Jew’s practical guide in life.
If the relationship is, indeed, in keeping with it, the purpose of this letter will be to strengthen and deepen it, as there is always room for improvement in all matters of goodness and holiness, Torah and Mitzvos.
On the other hand, if it is not quite what it should be, I trust that, since the Torah is surely a guiding light, you will bring it up to the desired level, and you will do it with joy and gladness of heart.
The central aspect in the manner of conducting a home and family life, is, that it be based on the way of the Torah, whose ways are “ways of pleasantness, and all of its paths are peaceful.”
If this rule applies to all activities of a Jew, even outside the home, how much more so does it apply within the home itself.
Of course, since G-d has created human beings with minds and feelings of their own, and these are not uniform in all people, peace and harmony can be achieved only on the basis of “give and take” that is, meeting each other half-way.
For a husband and wife to make concessions to each other is not, and should not be considered a sacrifice, G-d forbid. On the contrary, this is what the Torah teaches and expects, for we are talking about concessions that do not involve compromise in regard to the fulfillment of Mitzvos, and both of you are of the same mind, that the laws of the Shulchan Aruch must not be compromised.
Furthermore, to achieve true peace and harmony calls for making such concessions willing and graciously –not begrudgingly, as if it were a sacrifice, as mentioned above; but in the realization that it is for the benefit of one’s self and one’s partner in life, and for one’s self perhaps even more, since it is made in fulfillment of G-d’s will.
And if our Sages exhort everyone to receive every person with a friendly face, certainly it applies to one’s wife or husband.
There are many sayings of our Sages, as well as those of our Rebbes, urging husband and wife always to discuss matters of mutual concern, and to give patient attention to the opinion of the other and then act in mutual agreement.
It is also very desirable that they should have at least one regular study period in a section of Torah which is of interest to both, such as the weekly Torah portion, or a timely subject connected with a particular season or festival.
It may sometimes seem difficult for the husband to take time out of his preoccupations to discuss mutual problems with his wife, or study Torah with her, but he should not look at it as a sacrifice.
On the contrary, he should do it eagerly, in fulfillment of the most important Mitzvah – Sholom Bayis – Creating Peace in His Home.
And if any Mitzvah has to be carried out with joy, how much more so such a fundamental Mitzvah.
Finally, I would like to add that of the Mitzvah campaigns which have been emphasized in recent years, special attention has been focused on the Mitzvah of Ahavas Yisroel (the love for fellow man) which embraces everyone, even a stranger; how much more so a near and dear one.
I hope and pray that each of you will make every effort in the direction outlined above and will do so with real joy and gladness of heart, and may G-d grant that you should have true Nachas (pride) which is Torah Nachas, from each other, and jointly from your offspring, in happy circumstances, materially and spiritually.”
Marital Unity Plan
How To Live Together With Mutually Agreed Upon Goals
Prepared By Rabbi Z. Wineberg (Mediator, specializing in family Mediation.)

Sample
Where To Live

Wife’s Desire Mutual Compromise & Goal
Husband’s Desire

Live in Crown Heights
Live in Boro Park

We will try to live in Crown Heights for one year.

We will reassess how we feel about it then.

Technique:
Once a week (certainly once before marriage – preferably before engagement) the two of you should follow this technique to create mutual compromises / goals (for two horses pulling a wagon in one direction vs. in two, creates a harmonious unity instead of discord.)

The wife should write a desire – next to it the husband should either check the box if he agrees or write what he desires.
Then the husband should write a desire and the wife should do the same as above.
If they both agree, then they should write in the loving- resolution, the joint resolution.
However, if there is disagreement, one of two options remains – the first is to see if there is a middle ground (see sample) the second is called flagging, just leave it for now.
At a later stage you can either swap (so “I will give into a. in order for you to give into b.”) or see if any of you feel
differently.
Wife’s Desire Loving Resolution (Compromise) Husband’s Desire
1 1 1
2 2 2
3 3 3

Our Mission Statement
This is a very important document as it is the “mutual mission” – it should ideally be done before engagement but it is always a great opportunity.
As you can see, writing a joint mission statement is very important as this allows you to happily move forward.
Our Sages teach that man and woman (ish and isha in Hebrew) both have the word Aish / fire so if we are looking out for “what’s in it for me” the friction cuase an enflamed relations but if we agree on a higher goal than we invite in G-d and peace and blessing ensue.
Similarly setting aside time weekly (say on Sunday – or Motzia Shabbos) to express any feelings, for inevitably as you are both human there will always be how you are feeling; and maturely making a rational suggestion, and as the Rebbe says, “giving patient consideration to your spouse’s feelings and then acting in mutual agreement,” is perhaps the only way to have a long- term positive relationship.
A great suggestion is – and something we should take advantage of today – the ability to email one another. The benefit in emailing your desires towards creating a loving resolution is that often we find it less fearful. Of-course for that very same reason, often we may write things we would never say. So the key is to remember the point of this exercise is a singular one indeed – to either achieve a Loving Resolution or simply let it go.

Wife Mission Statement Husband
1

1   1

2 2 2

3 3 3

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rabbi Michael Zev Wineberg received his Rabbinic Ordination from the Chief-Rabbi of Canada, Rabbi Hirshprung OBM. He has a degree in mediation and computer programming. Rabbi Wineberg was Lecturer of Hebrew and lectured on Jewish Mysticism at Kansas University. He founded The Beth Medrash Program (advanced Jewish studies) at State University of New York, Binghamton; and co-founded The Beth Medrash Program at Yale University’s, Jewish Student Union.

He served as Adult Education Director for Chabad House Center, K.C. Kansas. He is the author of over twenty personal guides based on Kabbalah/Jewish Mysticism.

He was a popular Radio Show Host on “Kabbalah Tools For Life” on a number of Radio Stations.

He currently is a Rabbi and teacher in the Holy City of Safed.

See More on his website http://www.KabbalahWisdom.org

YouTube wwwkabbalahwisdomorg

← Back to all articles