The simple guide to happiness

To be happy three things are necessary:

First of all, our body must not be in pain.

Second of all, our soul must not be in pain.

Thirdly, we mustn’t be arrogant.

To explain:

“First of all, our body must not be in pain” – obviously if we are worried, anxious, stressed, we cannot be happy – so first and foremost, we must have absolute certainty (the meaning of trust) that just as God always has, fed, clothed, protected everyone from time immemorial, so to he will! – especially in our day and age, as the Rebbe states, we are in the dawn of the messianic age when this protection, food, clothing will be absolutely at the greatest, as well as supernatural level; Past traumas should be seen, just as that.

Second of all, our soul must not be in pain.

In other words, we are souls – we have feelings – I remember asking a fellow chaplain, a docent (volunteer) at the Kansas City zoo, if the lions are upset about being locked up – “they’re fed, so they are content” he replied.

So animals have simple, simple, simple needs; the need to eat, sleep, shelter when necessary, and to procreate.

“Humans,” as Victor Frankel so eloquently taught, “need meaning.”

For our souls – in other words, us – to not be in pain, we must feel our lives contribute something to the benefit of others – so to do this, you need to dedicate the core purpose of your life to be of service to others whenever you can – this cannot be overstated, for it seems simple, but imagine that feeling of meaninglessness – this is how you transform meaninglessness into meaning!

And finally, we must not be arrogant:

Arrogance comes ironically often from the good we do – anytime we become full of ourselves, we become arrogant.

So why would arrogance prevent happiness?

One would think the opposite would be the truth.

The answer is very profound and sadly empirically true.

You see, when we are humble, we can handle life.

Look at children, they manage just fine with practically nothing, for their expectations are minimal.

In fact, the same holds true with impoverished societies – for example, living in South Africa, every and anyone sees, on the whole, the dirt poor blacks (living on average, say on $2.00 a day) are happy people – they don’t seem to have secret sorrows – they seem genuinely happy with life!

On the other hand, the far wealthier whites (in fact due to the cheap labor, everyone has maids etc.) are far more miserable!!

So I asked a friend ofmine, a psychiatrist for an explanation – he revealed – “their expectations are less.”

In other words, as they expect nothing, they are happy with nothing.

However, in fact the more someone expects, the less tolerant they become if their expectations are not met.

The Rebbe teaches this, in a fascinating example:

Who loves food more, the poor or rich man?

One would assume the poor, for he is hungry.

But imagine, the poor and rich man are brought into a restaurant and both are served a rare roast.

And then suddenly, before they can finish, a waiter comes and rudely takes away the plate!

Who will get angrier?!