The more formal someone is, not the better-off or in control, they are; rather, the more out of control / fearful of criticism, hence compensating through false love (which of course is not to judge them) and conversely, the less formal (not impolite, but less proper, generally speaking: American versus British) one is, not the less manners they possess, but the true feeling of love! (hence they have no need to create a false pretense)