The following I think is the most important though highly simple – distinction, each and everyone person must always be cognizant of – it is obvious: all of us seek love and not to get screwed – as children, we learn to love, but then for whatever reason once we get screwed, we learn to fear – this fear blocks us from loving – the reason we loved, was because we trusted; the reason we fear, is because our trust was broken – but the simple mechanism to understand if we can trust or not, is, the difference between constructive versus destructive speech or actions – the difference is simple, if another person engages with you, there can only be one of three reasons – the first is identification – they see you similar to themselves (like a fellow family member, a member of a close-nit group etc.) as love is their motive, they will never shame you – if someone is shaming you, it means they obviously see you as their enemy (which doesn’t mean you are theirs; just perhaps, as antisemitism shows, though Jews love all people, many are jealous, precisely over this positive feeling, called love) in other words, if the other person is in any way derogatory, it means they have deluded themselves that they are God and you are evil (and the third, is like a business relationship.)