The baal shem tov said, when we see evil in another (if it bothers, bugs, irritates us) it is our own evil mirrored – however I ( :) ) say, the very reason we see the evil in the first place is because we are miserable – usually from having been criticized, so what happens is, we go into fear – so instead of feeling joy from love and hope – we are simply acquiescing in order not to get criticized again – though none of us ever want to feel shame, so we tell ourselves that the reason we are on such perfect behavior is because we are really such moral people (however, when no one is watching are you also so perfect) then we get jealous of those people who don’t feel fear, so we look for things to criticize them – of course this all takes place subconsciously