OK so after decades of studying both Judiasim and Jewish mysticism it all boils down to the following three points – the first is as the Baal Shem Tov teaches, your friend is your own reflection, the good and evil you see in them is your own; just as you cannot see a dirty face unless you have one, so the dirt that bugs you in others is your own – now the reason for this is simple – our brain is not objective, much like the internet which merely reflects your desires, for all the holiness and all the carnal insanity exists simultaneously – hence the brain actually is merely showing you what it is you wish – when your wish is for unity then like a drug addict all you can see is the benefit of drugs – if by contrast you have resentment in your heart which comes from having been abused and no one cared (so not only do you hate the abuser but also all people, if you felt entitled to protection) hence your mind actively seeks the evil in others, which as mentioned is only a reflection of the evil within, for as it is impossible to see a color that your eye cannot see, so to an emotional trait – the question is how to overcome such a quandary and the answer is to a. Live with the absolute knowledge that life is like a video game in which all people are moved by God through life-experiences (usually the hard way) from self-centered emotional dispositions to selfless Divine love b. Finally ultimately as we see, through all of human history, man’s capacity for wisdom is negligible