Motives

 

 

One of the most famous of our Rabbis teachings is the fundamental difference between conditional and unconditional love, for while the former breaks as soon as I get my desire, for it is the desire, for example, if I am working for a boss, the reason I am working, is because I want or need money, but the day the boss will stop paying me, is the day I will stop coming to the office, so my entire identification with my boss is based on the fact he is paying my salary, versus true love, which is when my identification with another is not based on anything that person can benefit me, rather, the fact we are intrinsically one – which is why one therapist told me – she specializes in family counseling – that after telling men that their wives are the other half of their soul, she finds that there is a profound attitudinal shift