Kabbalah teaches that ultimately the desire of men is to conquer as it says darkoi .. a man’s desire is to conquer a woman, which is why men desire women who are inaccessible not accessible; women have what’s called hod, a desire for unity and harmony; now ultimately our natural instincts are never correct, they are challenges given by God and there is a positive and a negative in our natural instincts so the desire to conquer must be transformed not into conquering others, not to have what you can’t have which is like a dog chasing its tail, an infinite drive which is why our sages say