Kabbalah teaches, a psychological phenomena which rules all of us – the first is what happens to us when we feel secure – men are the paradigm of this phenomena, for our ability to zone out of problems (in fact the male brain as studies show, has a very weak link between the imaginative and realistic, right and left brain respectively, hence the ability to not allow in the logical reality, into the desires) whereas women have a superhighway connecting the two, which is why as John Grey describes it – the women’s to-do-list – a woman cannot chill out, until all of the realistic ideas: bathing the kids, homework, paying the bills etc. etc. has been taken care of (in fact, this is in reality, why women get more emotional and have more anxiety, not because they are innately more emotional, rather because their brains don’t have the zoning out mechanism, hence when they perceive a problem, it will continuously produce anxiety) so when we feel secure we tend (boys being the ultimate example of this) to be very open – (which is why the army takes young men from teenage age, into it; for you can’t induce, say a 30 years to start risking his life, as his brain is simply too logical) be that as it may, the corollary of being open, is giving, hence the Hebrew word for love Ahavah has within it the word for hav which means give – when I believe everything is good and I’m innately in the state of joy, I will happily give to others – the flip side is the psychological state of fear (again as mentioned, this is not a weakness, it is most often, a greater sense of the realistic problems we can encounter – as an example, I have a friend who seems to suffer from low level anxiety and once on a plane he turns to the guy next to him and tells him he is afraid of flying – “why?” says the guy – now this friend is also a genius, so he starts rattling the thousand and one possible mechanical failures that can occur – suddenly, the other person’s face turns anxiety stricken and says “please stop telling me!” – in other words, people seeing possible problems will fear) now when God-forbid we are in the state of fear, a play on the emotion of fear in Hebrew called Yirah is the word rah, which means evil – for though I myself wish to be in the open happy state but when in the closed off state (for fear causes us to create fences / boundaries to protect ourselves from what we perceive can harm us) we become judgmental of others (the reason for this is twofold, firstly when in the state of fear we are not acting out of love – in other words, you can see this when you go into an insecure environment, so suddenly you start being extra sweet (which explains a lot of "womens perceived sweetness") the reason you start being extra sweet is in fact you are afraid of getting kicked out – so you try to be nice – but in essence, it is not love, but fear motivating your actions – now fear doesn’t feel good – so we then become jealous of those who are feeling good! this is the proven reason behind bullies – because they are really in an anxious state and they are jealous of those who are not and hence they seek to give anxiety through random acts of violence, this is why the word terrorism aptly describe terrorists, for they too come from negative environments, hence are jealous of Jews and westerners living in secure environments and they try to do random acts of violence, so God-forbid we too should live lives of anxiety and fear) ultimately, as always, the solution is not one way or another, but as the Baal Shem Tov teaches: fear no-one (which comes about through absolute faith in God’s goodness, so even if you cannot see why what is or isn’t happening is good, through having faith you know it is) two, adhere to God (for without some level of fear, one can be evil, so one must have a notion of karma – God repays in kind) and three, love people unconditionally – for not only does happiness come from love, but most importantly it causes us to seek to help those whom we love and as such we fill our lives with meaning, for we only respect ourselves when we do something altruistic!