It is normal for a person to wish to be proud of themselves – this drive in fact is healthy – it has created, that people have invented vaccines etc. etc. but unfortunately there is an abnormal state (though as psychologists say, “trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormal circumstance”) that is when a person has inculcated a negative self-image – at such times, the issue becomes not an attainment of pride, rather the desire to erase shame – You see, we all think that “You” represent the world – for I am I, but you, are part of the outside world – This is why your praise or criticism is so important to my self-esteem – Hence when people are criticized and they believe that criticism, for it comes from someone they deem honorable (though if the person was, they would never ever criticize, shame, demean, break another) what happens is, then we become defensive – We seek to show the world that it isn’t true that I am bad – we become a latchkey, trying to impress everyone