in the beginning we understand – that a woman or man is great – you see, we are born takers (not that we have a choice: it is take or starve) so our mind gets programmed to see the other sex as a benefit – however the truth is, each spouse seeks what is in their own interest – this is why marriages are falling apart – a marriage is not where one is the giver and the other the taker, for each person will eventually feel taken advantage of, rather as the Rebbe states, marriage is a give and take relationship