In simple words, we are either in the delusional "yes paradigm" – whereas we experience protection from adults, we simply happily acquiesce, or we are in the "no paradigm" whereas we have been violated ( whether physically or emotionally) in order to protect ourselves we go into the "no paradigm" ( we trust no one and are suspicious to the extent of neurotic) however though we all go through these two "venues" it is in order to end up in the third "maybe"- meaning "I’ll decide"