I hate to be the one to break the news, but it really is just this simple, though it takes the greatest most profound spiritual and psychological hearts and minds (the Baal Shem Tov, Jung, and scientifically researched by John Gottman, the greatest researcher into how breakups occur) to tell it to us – A happy person makes others happy… a miserable person makes others… (for when we are happy we are loving, and when we are miserable we become angry (jealous) that others are not – this anger then leads to our mind discovering reasons why the other person deserves to be shamed/abused /demeaned – For subconsciously as our desire is that they too should be, hence our mind simply gives us the mechanism… – this is why the primary job of a husband, for his own sake, is to make his wife happy – this is why the Torah tells us to dedicate the first year of marriage to ensure your wife is happy, for a happy wife equals a happy husband and vice-versa.)