How to get over heartbreak – I once read an article in Readers Digest of a black sergeant and a Jewish holocaust survivor – a teenager who sort of became attached to his platoon and eventually the sergeant helped him get to America and after 60 years or so they met – one of the things the black man said, was he was impressed by the lack of resentment on the Jewish boy – for unbeknown to many whites, many blacks have a story – we actually all have a story – the story is they were forced onto ships a slaves – a story that doesn’t engender love but resentment – the bottom line is – he was impressed, for the boy – I think he was called peewee – had lost, obviously his entire family, yet he didn’t have resentment – so here is the truth – how is it that after the holocaust, instead of hating, Jews actually built a superpower, Israel, and in every country they went, became highly successful people? – the answer, they didn’t hold resentment – but how? – the answer is, the Jewish experience taught them, that gentiles can be vicious antisemites, so in fact they weren’t surprised – likewise, the reason our heart breaks through maliciousness is because our expectation of the person who was malicious was that they were good and it is that – “how can a good person act like that?!!” —as psychologists say “trauma is a normal response to an abnormal situation” for the brain cannot reconcile – but perhaps the answer is, the person appeared to be o.k. but internally was suffering from their own abuse – so the fact we misjudged them shouldn’t be so surprising as people will of-course hide their internal shame