How I Became Happy

Happiness, funny thing, it’s like a flavor, as soon as you get it, it disappears.

What makes us happy?

Ultimately, happiness is a combination of two things.

Firstly, you cannot be in pain, suffering in any way.

Secondly, you need, sense of renewed happiness.

Let’s begin at, “Firstly you cannot be in pain, suffering in any way” there are three kinds of pains – pain pain – fear, anxiety, worry, stress – and guilt.

Let’s start with pain pain, obviously, if you are in pain, the body will try its hardest to get you out of it – that is usually a good thing (hunger=eat, you get the idea – I don’t want to go into how to deal with chronic pain now.)

Fear, anxiety, worry, stress – these are chronic “illnesses” that rob most of humanity of happiness.

There really is only one way out and that is trust in God.

All studies show, that people who have faith obviously don’t have worry; for if you trust that everything that God does is for your benefit, what’s there to worry about!? (so every morning, count all your blessings – whenever you can, say thank-you to God (for the more we believe we are blessed, as one lady told me, “I am too blessed, to be stressed!”))

The third is guilt – guilt is a complex emotion, which I deal with in the third chapter of Kabbalah-Love – fundamentally, we must realize that guilt is a negative emotion, so when “I choose to change,” it pays to remember my guilt; but it never pays to be feeling guilty – as Jewish mysticism teaches, when you feel guilt pouring into your consciousness, tell yourself, “now is not the time; when I choose to change I will deal with it!”

O.K. so by now of course you are not depressed, anxious and hopefully not in pain.

How to be happy:

Now happiness of course is related to feeling pleasure but there are two kinds of pleasures: instinctual and pride in your good deeds.

Instinctual pleasure will always cease its pleasure; as our sages teach, constant pleasure becomes unpleasurable (think of eating ice-cream all the time.)

This is perhaps the biggest mistake we make, especially in the west, being a free and open society – we seek pleasure in that which can only be temporary at best.

However, feeling proud of your achievements, is a pleasure which is like a positive memory – not only doesn’t it dissipate with time, you become even prouder with time! – the thing is, like any pleasure it needs to be continually renewed; so in simple words: The More Good You Do, The More Constant You Will Feel Good.