Hi I have written “Managing Emotions” to be hopefully used as a curriculum – if anyone has any ideas how we can? – For it is of utmost importance to teach students/children/teenagers -even collegians how to achieve 1. Purpose 2. Overcoming Anger 3. Happiness 4. Self Discipline, DON’T BE SHY

Managing Emotions

 

1. Purpose

Purpose is the most important quality to aspire to!

 

What is Purpose

Like a GPS – more important than Garmin or even Waze – is actually knowing where you want to go!

 

Why Purpose Feels Great

Imagine being in an ocean… O.k. you have a boat and in this boat you have everything you will ever need…  but your boat has no destination!  In circles it keeps endlessly wandering…   Imagine…   Do you feel confident?    Or, do you begin to feel restless??

 

Knowing where you are heading to in life, is the most important factor to having peace of mind.

 

We call this PURPOSE

 

The most meaningful purpose in life is to create unity, harmony, friendship / bonding with other people.

 

A great purpose in life is to try to become friends (not just facebook, but when another person’s heart lights up when it sees you) with as many people as possible!

 

How To Create Unity

Now the way to create unity is actually really easy.   Have you ever had a baby smile at you?   Doesn’t it make you feel good?   How about if anyone smiles at you?   Yes!  Smiles are magic!   For a smile tells you that someone is happy to see you.

 

Understanding Our Heart/s

This is how human hearts work: they are like mirrors,

They reflect the energy – in this case joy / love that is being shined at it.

 

Heart Based Unity

So the way to create unity (apart of-course from being nice, considerate and kind) is to love.

 

Now love is an attraction between a lover and beloved (of-course you could be attracted to many things such as food, but in this case it means being attracted to people.)

 

So when another person feels you are attracted to them, this causes that their heart in return gets attracted to yours – yes, it’s really that simple.

 

Meditation To Create Heart Based Unity

So here is a Kabbalah meditation (idea) on how to cause an attraction to all people.

 

Imagine before time space and atoms were created… all that exists is the Source.  Let’s imagine the Source as a single flame – so what the Source decided to do is create the universe, so in the beginning the Source created time and space (which by the way is continuously expanding as was discovered fairly recently) and put in it a universe consisting of galaxies – clusters of stars, planets, sun, moon, our globe, ocean, fish, birds, animals, people.

 

But every person is much more than a bunch of atoms bonded into a shape – a person has a soul!   So a soul is literally like the first flame taking itself and placing a spark/tiny flame inside the body of every person. WOW! WOW! WOW! That means, You are in essence the same substance as the Source and because there is only one Source, you and every other flame are literally one (just in different locations, like one sun shines onto the whole world.)

 

Just knowing this creates an automatic attraction, for by nature we are attracted to ourselves, so now we extend this attraction towards not only ourselves but everyone else.

 

In addition, we all have the same mission – like many employees of one company or many teammates.  Our individual goal is to realize that with the Source’s unlimited potential we can always do more goodness and kindness!

 

Unlimited You

Instead of thinking and seeing this world as a finite (limited) reality in which I can only do one or a few things, I must see it as a reality that depending if what I am doing fulfills the Source’s intent, then I can do more every day!!

 

So yes, we need to have a job to put food on the table, but ultimately what we deep down truly want is to live meaningful / purposeful lives.

 

Here is how:

 

Every day write down one new additional plan of action that you will implement, adding in the cosmic goodness and kindness.

 

In other words, besides making a living, by always writing and beginning one new good thing daily, this is how you make a life!!!

 

2. Anger

 

Now anger is a highly destructive emotion – for just like love is an emotion that causes you to be attracted; anger is an emotion that causes you to try to destroy.  Do mosquitoes make you angry?   Don’t you get a pleasure out of killing them…?

 

In Hebrew, the word for love is Ahavah which means to give and in Hebrew the word for anger is sinah which means to destroy!

 

Anger vs. Love

Now as anger and love are opposites, for whereas love is about building, helping and kindness; anger is about destroying, raping, demeaning; therefore we must know how to get over anger.

 

Why We Get Angry

Anger of-course comes when someone demeans, insults, disparages you (when you consider it was wrong – as most probably invariably is the case as no-one should ever ever ever disparage, insult, demean another.)

 

Getting Over Anger

So the way to get over anger, which subconsciously is our ego / anger wishing to destroy the ego / person who demeaned – savagely lowered us (as our ego doesn’t mind being higher or equal to another, but never lower!! (if it considers this unfair.))  But if you simply don’t care about what happened, by forgiving the other person, then it won’t make you angry.

 

Technique # 1

For example, you can say “Oh’ they were having a bad day…” or “I feel sorry for someone who is so miserable that the only way they can feel happy is by making someone else feel sad…”   In this way your ego (anger) doesn’t care (because again, anger is aroused when we feel something is unfair, and by spinning it in a way that you forgive the person, as it was their fault, “Bad day,”  “Miserable jealousy…” it causes you not to care.)

 

Technique # 2

Another Jewish philosophical approach we learn from Josef who looked at life that as the Source controls everything, so it must be that in every bad there is a good; so despite the fact his brothers sold him as a slave, because he believed The Source wanted this to happen so he could help the world, he didn’t care!  There was another Jewish sage called “Nachum, This Too Is Good”, for anything that would happen, instead of getting angry he would always tell himself “This Too Is Good”. He believed like Josef, that everything coming from the Source has a positive purpose.

 

Technique # 3

Another great way to overcome anger is to believe in “karma.” The idea of Karma is that souls reincarnate.  So “while it is true that in this lifetime you should not have insulted me, but the only way that happens is because in a previous lifetime I insulted you.” (Again as I don’t see this as unfair, so I don’t care and I forgive.) (They say people from India who believe in Karma never get angry.)
Technique # 4

Finally in The Code of Law – though the previous ways are best – it says, anger is so poisonous to your life (because when you get angry at one person, you can never be happy and loving). So to get rid of anger you should confront the person (not aggressively but assertively) and tell them “I am upset that you demeaned me… Why?” (The truth is, bullies are cowards and if you are assertive they will almost always (if not in a group) become ashamed.)

 

3. Happiness

 

Happiness is of-course great – we all want to be happy and happiness is necessary to live, well – a happy life.

 

Happiness = Gratitude

The easiest way to be happy is to be grateful for what you have (I lived in Africa for many years and I noticed that the extremely poor blacks were often much happier than the richer whites and blacks, so I asked a psychiatrist, “Why?” And he told me, “they are happy with whatever they have!”  So it’s not what you have that causes happiness.   Rather if you consider yourself lucky, fortunate!… which occurs when you express gratitude (as you remind yourself that you are lucky!)

 

How To Become Grateful Hence Happy

The easiest and perhaps best way to express gratitude is to do so as soon as you wake up! (this actually becomes your emotional mood for the day.)

 

So write a list of everything you can think of that is worth being grateful for (like: Family, A home, Living in a free society, maybe friends etc.) Now every morning, the very first thing you do when you wake-up is read that list. (Additionally, sometimes it helps to imagine people who don’t have these good fortunes… for this makes you feel very very very lucky.)

 

Happiness Kabbalah Meditation

The following is a happiness meditation (idea) to contemplate, which somehow magically works (it is based on Kabbalah.)

 

According to Kabbalah (and confirmed in modern science) our entire world, not only was once upon a time created by the Source, but every moment is being RECREATED! (We know atoms pop in and out of existence as you can see on the documentary “What The Bleep Do We Know.”)

 

Yes, imagine light – the light that you see in your room right now or on your computer screen is not the same light as a second ago; for light always disappears.  It needs a source to always shine (which is why it gets dark when the sun goes down or when you turn off the light.)

 

Well this world doesn’t really exist – it only exists because the Source thinks/imagines/ magically speaks it into existence!  But then it’s like a thought… if you imagine say a pink-elephant, how long will the elephant exist??   Well, only as long as you imagine it!

 

So the Source must always be thinking about the whole universe – including you!

 

So here is a simple way to do this meditation – take a deep breath and after your breath say, “Thank you for everything and everyone!” – do this at least three times.

 

4. Self-Discipline

 

O.k. here is a really really big and most important step, for as studies show, you could be smart, and have everything and anything going for you! but if you lack the ability to tell yourself what to do; well, you can’t do anything (except what you are either instinctually addicted toward or fearful from.)

 

Self-Discipline and Success

They did a study, in which they offered kindergarten students the choice of one marshmallow now or two in ten minutes – well, those few kids who could wait the ten minutes were tracked, and they performed better in all aspects… be it grades, relationships etc.  For more important than any other natural ability, be it looks, money, education, is the ability to do what you choose (not only what you instinctually are addicted to or afraid from.)

 

This is like a horse and rider – to use an example from the founder of psychology called Freud – the horse wishes to go wherever it wants; only if you tell the horse where to go, will it listen to the driver (maybe to use a modern example: if you don’t move your avatar on a computer game, eventually something bad will happen.)

 

Unfortunately, this is why so many people become drug-addicts, because by nature we (as all animals) are biologically hardwired to like that which feels good (pleasure) and hate that which feels bad (pain/shame.)

 

So all the advice in the world, from having a purpose, to writing down and doing goals, to getting over anger, and making a gratitude list and reading it every morning, will only work… IF YOU HAVE SELF-DISCIPLINE!

 

So here is how to gain self discipline – are you ready?  Because every successful person has this and here is how you too can join the successful, truly successful! – the ability to accomplish goals – category.

 

How To Gain Self-Discipline

All you need to do…. Remember the horse and rider…  So your body is the horse, but your thoughts (mind / choice) is the rider – so you need to tell yourself what to do!

 

The more your body begins to realize that you – your mind (for that is who you are, for your choices are made in your mind (and hardly would it makes sense to think, you are instinctual needs or wants which you didn’t or don’t choose) So as your body gets used to being told what to do, it begins to obey.

 

I had a friend who was a horse-trainer and when they had a wild horse they would call “breaking it in” for after being firm the horse would obey.   Sometimes you can shout at yourself (this will give your horse a little fight) and as the horse learns to obey, you will have one very happy successful rider.