God you are so amazing, it is exactly what you said “See, I have placed before you life and death, choose life” – where is the life? where is the death? – the nature of the world you created contains both love and depression, which are based on faith, hence hope or ego, hence the subconscious denial (for as ego is about MY greatness, hence I wish all accomplishments to be MINE, hence I subconsciously deny God)