From The Rebbe – When you allow your life to be defined by money, by your job, by our society, you become intensely afraid of not being accepted by others.
By zevi770 · January 3, 2012
Thus the cardinal dictate, “Do not be ashamed before those that ridicule.”
Still we yearn to conform.
We are afraid to stand out, and we worry incessantly about how others perceive us.
We fear that people will mock us or won’t respect our choices.
Think for a moment how empty that fear is.
Human beings are inherently mercurial.
Their moods change, their attitudes change, their values change.
So when you are worried about being accepted by others, you are placing your happiness and security in the hands of unpredictable people – a moody boss, a difficult client.
You are constantly investing great amounts of energy into pleasing first one person and then another.
You are trying to be one person in the morning, another during the day, and yet another at night.
No wonder your life is driven by anxiety; no wonder you have no peace of mind.
You must not compromise your values and standards out of fear of how others will perceive you.
This is one of the most difficult challenges in life, for we all want to be loved and accepted.
But accepted by whom?
By people whose own standards are ever shifting?
By people who themselves are worried about being accepted by yet others?
The only person on earth you need to be accepted by is yourself.
You achieve this by integrating G-d into your life, which means devoting yourself towards the purpose for which you were created.
By following the Divine laws of morality, you introduce sanctity and serenity into your life – and a sense of order.
Only then will you discover the clarity that demolishes fear.
Only then will you stop cowering in the face of the unexpected and unknown.
G-d has given each of us the abilities and resources to overcome the challenges that life provides.