Everything boils down to this – well everything related to your relationships both with man hence with God – either you can be soft – there is naïve-soft whereby like in the liberal state, you “hear no evil, see no evil” (this ironically is based on love, for when we love, our heart’s desire to love erases (denies) any action that another does that would make us think they are unlovable – We see this clearly both in how we love ourselves and our children) Then there is the state of tuff (which really is based on fear and its offshoot resentment (for fear feels rotten) and resentment creates jealousy (of those who don’t feel rotten) in this state we can see nothing good both in ourselves nor in others! – what we do is merely based on fear of shame and we likewise heap shame on others, particularly good people (as our jealousy makes us see “real” evil in them). Then there is the truth – we must both love and be tuff – primarily we must be tuff on ourselves and love others!