because we don’t exist, we are of course just perceptions, self-perceptions of existence – therefore in order to fulfill what was the original intent, namely infinity in the finite – we have to go through first the narcissistic development of self which gives us a belief in our entitlement – which then must go through stages of humiliation or perceived humiliation – the two year old that doesn’t get his way is dethroned from his self grandeur – and then as we grow up and succeed, we can have this grandeur return, and then once again we must go through humility, and perhaps this shut-in time – is part of that humility – and eventually we realize – that it is only through God, that we can succeed