Are you valid? – I heard in a lecture once from Rabbi Groner that there was a girl abused in childhood and when she read the words in Rabbi Jacobson’s book "Toward a Meaningful Life" quoting from the Rebbe, "Birth Means God Chose You" – she read it five hundred times! – you see behind all issues lies a single issue – are you equal? (what’s interesting is, that if someone you considered from a lower class (though you shouldn’t but for example’s sake) a leper said something mean to you, as you don’t consider their validity, you wouldn’t allow it to effect you – however, someone who you think is valid, for example a parent, someone from your class – it might totally vex you