A Jewish Guide To Happy Families

GOD = UNITY, RESPECT

For over four thousand years, there was a secret – a secret desperately craved.

Who doesn’t wish for a happy family?

And to the best of my knowledge, the community that had the happiest families – the Jews.

What was their secret?

God.

Now most people would think God would be a recipe for an unhappy family – most people don’t understand the Jewish God.

You see, if you see God as an authoritative figure, then of-course God would be an issue.

What if God is simply an advisor.

The greatest wisdom coupled with a sense of obligatory status.

You see, one of the greatest problems in life – wisdom is non-equitable with action – we all pretty much have a good clue – but few of us act on our own knowledge (dieting, eating healthy, to name but a few common “we all know, but don’t do.”)

I recall Tanteh (Aunt) Stishe – now she came from Russia – was without children or man – she stayed by her niece and nephew, but her sense of right and wrong was absolute.

She was once at a home where the children were making noise – she told the children, “When a father sleeps, one must be quite.”

We laugh at those values of respect – but then again, are we really laughing or has life become a series of soap-operas with bad endings.

So what is God’s advice for a family?

The Divine family operates under first and foremost respect.

Yes there is a hierarchy of respect – this hierarchy is not regarding patriarchal authority, rather based on knowledge.

For the parent obviously knows more about right and wrong – God’s wisdom – then the children!

Of-course respect begins by what children observe.

When they see two parents that respect one another, they can have respect for the parents, for their siblings and themselves.

Yes, there is as the Rambam writes: “A wife should treat her husband like a king and the husband must treat the wife like queen – respect.”

The children are expected – for children will always fall into whatever is expected – truly expected – of them – so the children are expected to respect their parents.

Of course, no-one expects a two year old not to throw tantrums, but only a fool indulges, instead of ignores them.