To understand what something is – to shed light on its soul – its essence, is the first step.
Let’s say I walk into a bank – now they are handing out to everyone a thousand dollars – the initial thought I have, is what is going on? – So I walk over to the teller, and say “what is happening…” – now one of two replies… Does either make you calm or angry??
“Sir, these individuals all decided to withdraw from their accounts a thousand dollars.”
“Sir, the bank is giving everyone – but the manager told me, “not you” – a thousand dollars.”
Why in the latter case would I be angry?
Because it’s not fair!!
Now let’s explore what really angers us, when something is not fair.
I walk into a bank, and they are giving everyone a thousand dollars, including me – but not to someone.
So I ask… “why are you giving everyone a thousand dollars, but not to that person?”
“Sir, the manager has said that we should give everyone a thousand dollars but ‘not to that person.’”
Now does that make you angry? – your thought process is, “well maybe there was a reason…”
So the question is, if the scenario is “Sir the manager told us to give to everyone but not to that person – because he is a Jew!”
If you are a Jew, that would make you angry… if you loved Jews, that would make you angry… but what if God-forbid you were an anti-semite – that would make you happy.
All of this is to demonstrate that what makes us angry is not really injustice – it is an attack on what we love – which is hopefully – usually ourselves.
This is why the very same thing that happened to a stranger, may not evoke anger.
So when someone insults you – because you love yourself – they are attacking whom you love! – that is why you would be upset at someone who insults a friend or family member, coreligionist etc.
What if someone is depressed (which is the ego hating the self – at this stage, the person probably wouldn’t care…- or they may even agree… – this is actually a very sorry state – for not only is it, so feasible that the person hates themselves (which is why they may kill themselves…) but they may in fact (as a Jewish, or female, or any inferiority complex – when you think based on bullying… your identity is lower…) be actively involved in their own hate – like one stupid Jewish group who were (I guess… until they were murdered) pro-Hitler.)
Let’s now talk about normal people, who love themselves; and therefore are liable to become angry when someone offends them.
So we must ask ourselves, a simple question – why would anyone offend? – The answer is very interesting indeed.
If God-forbid I am depressed, so I don’t hate anyone – (except myself – I don’t believe anyone has harmed me – I am angry at my own “stupidity etc.,” As the ego can be very harsh…)
Let’s say that I have been maliciously humiliated – as most of the world has, as studies show… everyone has been bullied – so it’s a very common phenomena – this can result in one of two possibilities – possibility 1, I take it to heart possibility 2, I realize, the person who is shaming has a problem (this is why to healthy Jew, antisemitism is seen as the anti-semites problem.)
But if my own sense of self – my self-esteem is not strong – then what can happen is, I can believe the evil – so now I am what I term, “repressed.”
It’s not the inner ego that has shamed me, it’s the outer… (another… – or my perception of the outer world – Often we form an opinion about what the whole world thinks about me, from the few who actually comment.)
The moment we can realize, there is only one, YES, ONLY ONE! reason a person shames another person – for If I love you – Just As When I Love Myself… – I never hurt, shame, insult me – therefore the person who is shaming (or who did – and this can include parents, for no one is immune to jealousy) was simply jealous of your self-love.
LET US REPEAT THIS – THE ONLY – ONLY REASON – ANYONE HUMILATES ANOTHER, IS BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS OF YOUR SELF-LOVE.
(The truth is this is a very deep subject and if I am too lengthy I’ll lose you, so I’ll wrap it up.)
If you wish to overcome anger a. you must have a good self-esteem, you must believe that you are not a child of man, but a creation of God.
b. you must know that you are not here to feel good but do good – and everything that happens to you is part of your growth, and eventually goodness
c. you must understand the world has justice, the person who shamed you will so be (in India, as people believe in karma therefore they don’t get angry) and it could be in a previous lifetime you hurt this person, so now you are getting hurt (so leave it….)
d. it also is beneficial, for it makes you realize the state the other person is in (and now you should either disengage, shut them up, or deal with the wider ramifications – such as improve the misinformation to others)
e. ultimately, the best way to not be angry – for anger is an emotion – the ultimate subconscious intent of the anti-semite or bully is for you to simply hate –
they want you to hate them –
for they are jealous that they feel miserably (when Freud was asked for the subconscious motive of an anti-semite, he said “miserable bastards”)
if you hate, then they win – but if you choose to be involved in goodness and kindness, love, forgiveness and growth, you and God win!