Let’s use an example of a tree
1. Number one, the first and foremost thing that the tree needs is actually, stability
The tree roots itself in the ground, firmly establishing its security.
In a similar sense we must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are safe.
If we are placing our trust in man or mankind that’s obviously either an illusion or delusion; and therefore, the only source which will make you infinite, is the fact that who you are is not your temporary body but you’re literally infinite soul.
2. The second most important factor of the tree is quite simple that it must breathe, it must drink, and through photosynthesis it must eat – in our case, all of those must be the right proportions and of-course healthy – because all of our cells are completely recreating and only through good building blocks, you have good buildings.
3. The Third very important factor of a tree which is not necessarily known, is that the tree is always growing, in fact if you God-forbid cut off is outer circle it will die; and so too spiritually, emotionally, intelligently, we must always be advancing, and there is nothing to stop that, for it is within YOU.
4. The fourth thing about the tree is that – again this is not well known – trees communicate with each other through networks called mycelium, which are effectively bacteria-based tunnels that the roots connect between one another and they transfer helpful information, such as if there is an attack by a bug and to make an anti-bacterial etc. – similarly we are interconnected to everyone, and therefore we must learn from everyone, and be a role model to everyone.
5. The 5th greatness of the tree is the tree offer shade to wayfarers – it allows those who wish to come to it a place; and so too we must always have a place in our hearts or homes for those in need.
6. The next amazing thing about a tree of-course is a nourishing fruit that it provides, and these are the acts of individual focus of what is the essential meaning of MY life – for each one of us has a unique gift, to offer to the world.
7. The next amazing thing about trees of-course is that within the fruit is contained a seed, and so when we offer these gifts – we should not think that we are merely expending energy… but rather each person shall carry forward our gift indefinitely!
1. Let’s go from lowest to highest
We have pride – this of-course is our illusion of power / importance (the flipside of-course is shame, our illusion of powerlessness or disempowerment, relative to others.)
2. We have pain / pleasure, alternatively called fear / love – ironically this is actually very much related to our ego, for depending on what we consider gain, gives us a pleasure, and what we consider loss…
3 What makes us different to an animal is that we also have an independent consciousness (whereas bees for example calculate distances to flowers – and communicate through a dance to others – better than supercomputers!! Of-course their brain is a result of their pain / pleasure instincts, as it can be for many humans – especially when an emotion of love or fear is overpowering, however) what makes a human unique is that we think – thinking is the ability to objectively assess.
4. Of-course we also have (again, unlike animals – though it is somewhat present in higher animals) a moral sense – we feel guilty (ashamed of ourselves) for cruelty, and proud of ourselves for kindness.
5. And the highest most important part of us – which Mysticism reveals, is our ability to Access, Listen to and hence Adhere to God.
Based on a fundamental marital Shaloim Bayis letter https://kabbalahwisdom.org/marital-mediation-the-rebbe/ from the Rebbe, there are five fundamentals to Shaloim Bayis (which remarkably are not that well known)
1. “The central aspect in the manner of conducting a home and family life, is, that it be based on the way of the Torah, whose ways are “ways of pleasantness, and all of its paths are peace.” If this rule applies to all activities of a Jew, even outside the home, how much more so does it apply within the home itself.”
2. “Since G-d has created human beings with minds and feelings of their own, and these are not uniform in all people, peace and harmony can be achieved only on the basis of “give and take” that is, meeting each other half-way. For a husband and wife to make concessions to each other is not, and should not be considered a sacrifice, G-d forbid. On the contrary, this is what the Torah teaches and expects, for we are talking about concessions that do not involve compromise in regard to the fulfillment of Mitzvos, and both of you are of the same mind, that the laws of the Shulchan Aruch must not be compromised.
Furthermore, to achieve true peace and harmony calls for making such concessions willing and graciously –not grudgingly, as if it were a sacrifice, as mentioned above, but in the realization that it is for the benefit of one’s self and one’s partner in life, and for one’s self perhaps even more, since it is made in fulfillment of G-d’s will.
There are many sayings of our Sages, as well as those of our Rebbes, urging husband and wife always to discuss matters of mutual concern, and to give patient attention to the opinion of the other and then act in mutual agreement.”
3. “Our Sages exhort every Jew to receive every person with a friendly face, certainly it applies to one’s wife or husband.”
4. “It is also very desirable that they should have at least one regular study period in a section of Torah which is of interest to both, such as the weekly Torah portion, or a timely subject connected with a particular season or festival.”
5. “Finally I would like to add that of the Mitzvah campaigns which have been emphasized in recent years, special attention has been focused on the mitzvah of Ahavas Yisroel [the love for fellow man,] which embraces everyone, even a stranger; how much more so a near and dear one.”