The key thing to understand is we all have a soul -our soul seeks love, we also have a body, our body seeks pleasure, but conversely we also have the fear of pain / shame, now we also have a mind which gives us a perception of reality – in this perception we either think that reality is good / safe, or we think it’s a bad / dangerous; and so in order to have calm thinking, you have to firstly – to be perfectly honest – be in an environment which is not malicious, and the second is, you have to see the good in the bad; and the third is you have to make your life meaningful by giving and helping others, so you will be proud of yourself