We face in a way an unprecedented opportunity – they say the Chinese symbol of crises is opportunity – suddenly instead of each to their own (partially a misplaced understanding of Ameri-democracy) suddenly loved ones, are each with other.
As a Marital/Divorce Mediator (prefer marriage…) I would like to share three important tips:
- Everything in life is either a blessing or a curse depending on how you assume – as the Baal Shem Tov said, if you can find the good in the bad, the bad will turn to good.
(Generally as it’s important to have a positive attitude (which enables seeing the half full (vs. half empty) scenario, therefore, as the first thought of the day influences the train of thoughts, as Jews we know the very first thing we do when we wake up, is we Modeh Ani… we express gratitude, hence the very first thing every morning (in order to have a positive mood) is we need to think of at least, our five greatest blessings.)
2. As relationships etymologically relates to the word relate, which is based on the word relate (to tell..) hence according to Judaism the very key factor to maintain peace and harmony is based on the ability to meet one another half way.
The trouble is, many of us lack the knowledge of how to communicate (hence having unfulfilled needs or expectations…)
To quote Rabbi Schneersohn, “There are many sayings of our Sages, as well as those of our Rebbes, urging husband and wife always to discuss matters of mutual concern, and to give patient attention to the opinion of the other, and then act in mutual agreement. It is also very desirable that they should have at least one regular study period in a section of Torah which is of interest to both, such as the weekly Torah portion, or a timely subject connected with a particular season or festival…
It may sometimes seem difficult for the husband to take time out of his preoccupations to discuss mutual problems with his wife, or study Torah with her, but he should not look at it as a sacrifice. On the contrary, he should do it eagerly, in fulfillment of the most important Mitzvah – Sholom Bayis – Peace in the Home. And if any Mitzvah has to be carried out with joy, how much more so such a fundamental Mitzvah.”
In other words, “since G-d has created human beings with minds and feelings of their own, and these are not uniform in all people, peace and harmony can be achieved only on the basis of “give and take,” that is, meeting each other half-way.”
3. If you are finding that the communication needs assistance, the role of a mediator (and this is a voluntary process which simply assists in finding joint resolutions) is critical.