By understanding how the universe exists, perhaps we can understand why as well!



One of the primary discoveries, if not the greatest discovery by mankind, was Abraham realizing that there is a God!


His question was simply, how can complex independent creations interact without an all knowing, all powerful force? which by necessity created all the independent parts which work in tandem.


The only answer is a supernatural being whose abilities are neither limited to being physical nor a spirit, whose aim as our sages teach us, is to give (as the nature of good people is kindness) hence all that exists is on one hand miraculously so, and on the other hand we exist in a unique paradigm in which our relationship to this being is determined not by the force of reality, rather by the choice to do so or not!


The power of purpose



Purpose is at the heart of happiness!


The Rebbe teaches that if we want tranquility we need positive activity!


Now these two things would seemingly go against each other!


In the west, we think of tranquility as sitting and sipping a pina-colada on a beach in Cancun.


As the Rabbi of a resort town where many active people would sit on beaches, I can tell you that after about a week or so, the men would actually be itching to get back to their daily grind in the office.


How come?


The answer is, as the Rebbe teaches us, that man is essentially a spiritual being!


Sure our bodies have no need for meaningful activities.


But we are scarcely the 20 gallons of water and 6 us dollars worth of minerals that make up our bodies!


We are the living part of God that animates it, and God has a mission to make this world a brighter place!!!



How to bring twp opinions into one



One of the greatest Kabbalists of our time, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, the father of the Rebbe, wrote to him, that in marriage he should see to it, to always have one opinion!


The Rebbe writes that according to Judaism and Jewish mysticism this is the goal, namely reaching a consensus.




Firstly, there must be a motive, which as the Rebbe teaches, is to realize that God’s blessing resides in the peace in the home; hence to have peace is to have great riches, honor, etc. etc.


In fact, as the Rabbi of a resort town where many wealthy people came, I once asked myself for a common thread between all these people, and the one I discovered, was, that they paid respect to their wives!


So how do we actually achieve that two separate opinions – which should be expected from any two people, certainly two people who are biologically different, hence motivated in different directions (in general, woman towards security, and men towards grandiosity) create consensus?!


To figure this out, I went on a course of mediation.


Meditation has become a very very big field, as courts are realizing that mediation promises a far better resolution than a win or lose scenario.


In mediation the mediator doesn’t take sides, and the people are there voluntarily – the mediator’s role is only to help two people reach consensus.


Well obviously, despite the fact that I am offering my services free of charge, most people would like to resolve their own issues!


Based on my training, I have developed a very very simple mechanism which truly can bring about consensus!



What you see is the circle relating to a single opinion.


So say I decide to paint my fence green – I should ask my spouse – honey, how do you think or feel about a green fence?


To which theoretically, “honey, I think green is the color of idiots!”


So number one, I shouldn’t do anything until we reach consensus!


The line in the middle means we both deserve 50% of an opinion circle.


So I should say “honey I understand that you think green is the color of idiots, which would make me one (and as my self-esteem is good, I don’t get offended) but as I love green, and it shows our identification with environment, would it be o.k. if we paint it green this year and next year we will paint it the color of your choosing?”


“Ok. Ok!”


All relationships usually consist of a unwritten hierarchy, e.g., in marriage the man is the leader, in work the boss is, in school the teacher, to the teacher the principle is – now hierarchies aren’t bad, they are perceptions of power, but, and this is what we would all do well to bear in mind, love goes in two directions – forward and backward – in the hierarchy, the person on top who gives love in a forward direction receives a love which is multiplied manifold, for the backward love – reactive love, is far stronger than the forward one (as the one “on bottom” desires it, hence as love is reflections of hearts, therefore the heart that receives a love she or he desires, reflects back a far greater love in return.)