I recently read an interesting thing from John Grey

His latest book is why Mars and Venus collides

He explains that men and women have different brains

In fact almost opposites

In Kabbalah this is also very clear for men have a strength in innovation while women’s strength is understanding reality

The bottom line is, that women cannot turn off reality, while men can

In other words – if you are a man – imagine that reality dictates that you must do four things (cook, earn money, clean, put the kids to bed)  then these things become absolutes, and you cannot get around the fact they are necessities

If you are a man however, nothing is absolute, everything can be invented – basically, you have a fantasy button, so nothing in reality troubles you


The thing is that all we really need to do is believe in the truth, which is that life is as the Rebbe teaches a series of three stages called the beginning middle and end

“In the beginning” really means the primary purpose, for before an intelligent being does anything there is a purpose and the purpose of creation is for the Jewish people.

Then comes the physical beginning, which results eventually in the creation of the Jewish nation at Mount Sinai.

But as God is a God of love, he didn’t leave us in the dark; he desires to give us the mechanism by which we could increasingly achieve better and better things.

Hence God gave us the Torah in which the truth of goodness and kindness and staying  away from evil is found.


From bad to good


One of the most fascinating mistakes all religions make even possibly Jews, but not Kabbalah/Chassidus, is the notion of black and white!


Good and bad!


From bad to good, or from neutral to good, is actually the goal of this world!


The simple notion of spiritual people, religions, is, that spirituality is good, hence physicality, particularly pleasure, is bad!


Kabbalah insists, that this world is not an exit towards spirituality, rather spirituality is an entrance into remodeling a possibly crass material existence into a Godly existence.


To keep things simple, I will list the possibilities and it will be the (perhaps) easiest way for us to be able to see this altruistic utopian world, in your (and my) hands!


Neutral Bad Good
Sex Taking Giving
Money Hoarding Charity
Ego Arrogance Strength of character




We basically can have one of five motives

1.                Love which results in doing good towards others

2.                Jealousy which results in hatred (for jealousy is over ones low self-esteem hence hatred to those with good self-esteem) hence a desire to destroy, aka Arabs Nazis anti-Semites radical left right etc.

3.                Self-agrandization hence a desire for recognition e.g. fame through being a star in some arena whether economically, intelligentsia, movies etc.

4.                Martyr syndrome, which is  when a person believes, through victimization they will receive attention

5.                And the highest level is self sacrifice – submitting your (even positive love) agenda to the higher love, wisdom, compassion etc. of God’s and humbly serving