You see an issue I, and I assume you, as I assume most others have been grappling with, is the divergence between being holy and being profane, in other words, between having a life dedicated to a higher cause and well simply a instinctually pleasure versus staying away from pain and shame, life.
Now the Rebbe quotes from the Zohar / Kabbalah Tukfah Digufah Chulshah Dinishmasah when our taavois our desires, are in one direction, say for instinctual pleasures, it weakens our desires for spiritual pleasures.
Now the fact is we all have both a body and soul, we have both desires.
Additionally it is clear that our primary aim is not to reject, say food, wealth etc. rather to transform them into being objects used for a higher cause.
All good and fine, but the fact is, we are instinctually attracted to say food and wealth perhaps more then we innately want to change the world.
What is the answer to this incredibly subtle yet incredibly different direction man must take in life and how can we truly overcome our instinctually desires in favor of a more meaningful life?
The answer is as follows:
You see, it is not that we need to reject any of our instinctual pleasures, they all have a place, food, well, we need strength to do good; money, well, apart from providing for our family we can provide for others who don’t have; and even marital intimacy is of incredibly great use, in terms of when one gives pleasure to another, one creates a bond, a union, unity and harmony like no other; so the point is, what are your priorities?
If your priority is finding the meaning of your life and hence make your life meaningful, you will automatically use all of the instinctual pleasures in life-enhancing ways.