What Do Women Want

Want do women want is the famous question that has plagued men for centuries:

I asked my sister “do you understand men?” Well it seems so obvious, men don’t understand women and women don’t understand men.

However using the wisdom of both the creator of man and woman namely God in his Kabbalah I shall answer what it is that women want

Women want five fundamental things: security, friendship, elevation, a father for their children and like men, sex.

I think the only way a man can understand this is, think about what you would like from your boss.


Life Lessons From The Lubavitcher Rebbe – From his last address

1. Man’s Mission In Life

Generally speaking the job [or work] of man on earth is as the Sages state: “I am created to work for G-d.” And also to cause that every created being in the world should also “work for their Creator.”

2. General and Specific Missions

There are two aspects to this and this is hinted at in the two names of the Parshah [Torah Portion of that week’s talk]: Vayakel and Pikudei.

“Vayakel” [which means to gather together teaches] – that one should reveal in all created beings in this world their general mission which is to “work for their Creator,” (transcending the details of the mission). And through this one causes unity in every being in the world – [for they all have a unified goal.] And how much more does it cause a unity to the Jewish people through the Mitzvah and ideal of Ahavas Yisroel [love for a fellow Jew] and Achdus Yisroel [unity of] the Jewish people. [In other words we need to see what unites us – namely our sameness in making the world a better place.]

“Pikudei” [which means specific laws] – (so after the general service to unite the varied beings / creations – then a person) reveals within everyone and everything what is unique in their being [i.e. their unique purpose] in how they work for G-d.

3. Reveal the general unity in creation
There is totality in just the service of Vayakel – to reveal the general unity in creation and within the Jewish people, as mentioned.
4. Every Jew must unite with a fellow Jew

Half a shekel indicates the work to unite the Jewish people. And therefore we are emphasizing that when a Jew is alone [for himself] he is but a half and in order to become “a holy shekel” [good] a Jew must unite with a fellow Jew, to the extent of uniting with every other Jew.


5. “Love your fellow as much as yourself.”

This is the fulfillment of the Mitzvah to “love your fellow as much as yourself,” for the explanation of “fellow” does not only refer to a person that is in close proximity to you but even someone who is at the other end of the world.

6. All Jew’s are one being.

All Jew’s are one being. And even if there is a situation where one needs to try to prevent something negative from their fellow – the very best manner [i.e. method] to achieve this is [through] influencing the fellow in a pleasant and caring manner.

7. You and G-d are One

In order to achieve this unity (Vayakel) in the world and within the Jewish people – one should begin with the unity (Vayakel) that exists between oneself and one’s Creator. And this is also one of the explanations to what is written in the Torah “the shekel is [the weight of] 20 Geirah, half [the weight of a] shekel [should be given as a] present to G-d.” – That each and every Jew is completely united with G-d to the extent that they are literally the same thing.  And therefore every Jew is only half, and G-d is (as if) their other half. And therefore G-d – who has enclothed himself in Ten Sefiros [Kabbalistic manifestations such as kindness, mercy, etc.] is like Ten Geirah, and every Jew who is [also] comprised of ten soul abilities – is [also] ten, and only through their unification becomes “the 20 Geirah” – the holy shekel.


8. Modeh Ani—Morning Gratefulness

And the explanation of this is: the first thing that a Jew does “immediately when he awakens” is to say “Modeh Ani” [Grateful am I to you [G-d] for returning my soul / energy back to me etc.] And this indicates his absolute unification with G-d. And this is a general job / work [i.e. gratitude to G-d] as it is above and beyond the details of one’s daily work.

9. Every Jew Is Completely Unified With G-d

And this is also the emphasis in the terminology “Grateful am I to you” [the direct translation of the Hebrew.] That one begins with gratitude and not with “I to you” – for the fact that every Jew is completely unified (“I to you”) with G-d is an obvious fact and there is no need to emphasize it. And therefore one begins and emphasizes only their job / work – Gratitude.

 10. Wake UP

And we can additionally say, “that immediately when one awakens from one’s sleep” – includes what the Rambam writes “people are sleeping their lives away” (may we never know of such a thing, may we never know of such a thing!!!) For there needs to be an awakening from this sleep as well. And the start of the Divine work is that one needs to know that they are absolutely one with the essence of G-d; For they are literally part of G-d [on a soul level].

11. Giving Charity

The particular lesson from Parshas Shekalim is: that we need to increase in giving charity, for there are many levels in charitable contributions: ten percent, twenty percent, and “everything will a person give for his soul” [i.e. everything.] And to make a resolution yet in this Shabbos [to increase charitable contributions] and to also to begin to do this, for example through giving food and drink [which is permissible to give on Shabbos after inviting one into ones home] etc.

12. How To Give

There is also a lesson as to how one should give from the Torah portion of Shekalim: the reason that the half a Shekel was given was to purchase the communal sacrifices [there were many sacrifices offered on behalf of the public in the temple of old.] And Rabbi Shneur Zalman’s explanation on the verse “when a person from you will offer a sacrifice to G-d” is well known, that in order for man to come close to G-d it is through “from you [i.e. offer yourself as] a sacrifice to G-d” that one gives their entire being to G-d. And from this is understood the practical life lesson that giving charity and acts of goodness and kindness must be in a manner that one places within it all of one’s ten soul abilities [i.e. all of one’s heart and soul,] that in addition to the actual donation, one thinks about it and speaks about it etc. And through this one brings the redemption closer that it should come immediately and then G-d will do his charity that he will gather all of the Jews “a great community will return here,” to Israel.





Kabbalah On Money

10 step guide to attaining positive wealth

So you’d like to make money? How much?  Will you be happy with a million? If you have a million will you be happy, or will you want two? Well how about if you get two million, will you be happy with two or wouldn’t you rather get four now.

A Readers Digest article quoted a study that people making $25.000.00, $50.000.00 and $75.000.00 were all asked “how much more money do you need to be happy,” well they all said $25.000.00. So it seems to be happy you need another $25.000.00, no matter how many of them you already have.

The truth is there is nothing wrong with having money. Money can be a very good thing in that, firstly it buys peace of mind, [money that creates distress obviously is counterproductive,] secondly it allows you to do good. As religious Jews would say to “glorify” the Mitzvos / commandments. I.e. you could spend more money on your children spiritual education, you could buy more spiritual books etc. And lastly money enables you to do the ultimate good – helping out those who need it.

On the other hand the sages teach that “he who desires money is never satisfied by it” for as they state that “everyone always desires to double the amount they already have.” [How many rich people stop trying to make more?]

So money can be a great curse – I humbly posit that it all depends who is leading whom. If you lead the dog, it can be quite a nice excursion, but if the dog is dragging you then it can be rather unpleasant. Another way of looking at it – coming from Rabbi Menachem Schneersohn the greatest Jewish leader in modern times is – “are you becoming enslaved to materialism.” For example – and I have no idea how she knew this [“kids say the darnest things”] – we were discussing the worldwide rescission at my dinner table and my six year old daughter pipes up “people bought things that were too expensive for them.” This summed up the cause of the rescission succinctly. In other words people had their basics but then through buying second homes actually enslaved themselves to meet those payments – eventually not only losing their second home but more importantly  – destroying their quality of life. In other words instead of having peace of mind – which is the main benefit of money they in fact lost their peace of mind by being forced into making onerous repayments.

Now I am not a communist – and communism has proven itself to be a draconian evil enterprise, nonetheless in our Synagogue the Rabbi put in a little quote from good ol’ Karl Marx which was quite prophetic indeed. [It seems he was at the very least aware of the pitfalls of capitalism.] In it he wrote that eventually governments would be forced to take over capital because private banks would ‘force’ people into larger and larger loans which they would be unable to repay which pretty succinctly summed up America’s recession.

So in other words firstly we need to gain control. To allow a number to be in control of you – G-d’s finest creation – would be like allowing the dog to drag you wherever it wants to go, which is neither benefit for you nor the dog.

As you can tell Judaism views money – as all objects [or most objects – ] in this world as being inherently neutral, i.e. it has the potential for destruction or great benefit. For example a young girl once asked Rabbi Schneersohn if nuclear power was good or bad. He replied with an example anyone can comprehend, that it is like saying if a knife is good or bad; it all depends on how you use it. So the very first thing we need to do is gain self-control. [I have written a booklet entitled Achieving Self-Control.] I cannot teach you self-control in this booklet however without it I would strongly recommend that you don’t even try to make money for its ability to corrupt is stronger than its ability to benefit those who lack self-control. I once told a wealthy man about someone who lost his money, and he replied “a fool and his money part easily.”

Well this booklet is actually about helping you gain money – it’s just that I needed to share with you a VERY STRONG WARNING I.E. YOU NEED TO HAVE SELF-CONTORL BEFORE YOU HAVE IT.

Now I will share with you 10 Kabbalsitic / Judaic formulas for achieving wealth. To begin with, one must realize that everything comes from G-d. Every penny you will every earn is decided in Heaven. Furthermore whether that penny will be in your interest or is actually a curse – say preventing some other blessing say Heaven is also decided in Heaven.

So rule number one – and this is perhaps the hardest rule – do not think you make money. There are many millionaires who no matter what they do lose their money and for a period of time cannot regain it. On the other hand there are absolute fools [Forest Gump] who somehow manage to make it big time. So money is determined in Heaven. Now the heaven system works – primarily – as trust system i.e. you get from whom you trust. If you think that your boss will make you rich then G-d always that to be your destiny. If on the other hand – and I guarantee this – you genuinely [and I mean without a shadow of a doubt] believe that G-d, your loving Father in Heaven will make you rich then that will happen.

Generally speaking, for there are many who are currently just only too happy to just make it: Pray to G-d and then trust that He will answer your prayers. [I also recommend reading my booklet Kabbalah Love (the first two chapters on this technique.)]

So rule number one is realize [again quite challenging] that money is decided by G-d. Nothing that happens in this world is random. G-d’s destiny rules everything, however the more you trust in G-d’s destiny, the more favorable it becomes.

2. Hand over your troubles to G-d and he will carry it. So says the prophet [I don’t know where.] This is a quote very often quoted by the great Rabbi Schneersohn and it really does work. Say to G-d “dear Lor-d I need your help.” Then pretend to take you package of problems and hand them over to Him .You will be astonished at the results. However don’t be like the Jerusalemite [in a joke] who requested a parking space from G-d in order to get into an important business meeting – having circled the block for thirty minutes – “G-d, if you find me a parking space I will give you half my income from this deal.” Immediately someone pulls out and this man turns his eyes heavenward and says “don’t worry about it G-d, I already found one.” If this does work – do not think that suddenly it was your brains [because remember the trust system works that you get from whom you trust – so if you’re so smart G-d will leave the rest in your hands and if you were in a pickle in the beginning…] Make sure that every morning you thank G-d profusely for the assistance he gave you. It seems to me that we often become arrogant or perhaps complacent when things are working for us. But the same G-d that makes it work can make it fail. It is very important that you should consciously be grateful, for this will ensure the continuation of your benefit.

3. The following is a well known Jewish ploy and in fact it is the only time that G-d actually states in the prophets “you may test me on this.” Many Jewish billionaires and millionaires swear by it. The holy Chida a great Kabbalist writes that when you make G-d a partner in your business you bring his blessing with it. So what you need to do is offer G-d one of the following three incentives, ten percent, twenty percent, or everything [of course taking care of your own bills first.] In other words – commonly called tithe – be sure that you calculate at least ten percent of your income and give tithe. Now you may think that “I am doing badly, can I really afford to tithe.” Can you afford not to? In a letter the Rebbe [Rabbi Schneersohn] writes to a businessman [who requested advice – tens of thousands would,] you should know that there are accusatory angels in heaven saying to G-d that you will decrease your charitable contributions in your difficulties while G-d is waiting to prove to them that you will maintain and even increase them. So quite simply speaking give ten, twenty, or even everything [, everything is when you value your soul more than you body and the desire to help others is greater than the desire to be known as rich.]

4. Honor your wife. The truth is that all of your wealth comes as a result of your wife. We see this quite clearly, that somehow after people marry their financial situation improves [i.e. income-wise not spending-wise.] I was the Rabbi of  a resort town with over ten thousand, primarily wealthy Jews, visiting. I once asked myself, if I could see the common denominator between the wealthy people, and the one that I could find was that they cherished [or made their wives to feel cherished i.e. they honored] their wives.

5. Increase in your acts of goodness and kindness [or for a Jew or gentile to undertake to be more observant of the commandments G-d gives them, i.e. the 613 Mitzvos or seven Noahide laws, see www.chabad.org and do a search for more details on this;] every good deed is a new aperture in the Divine blessings G-d is “enabled” to give you.

6. Be happy! In fact according to Judaism this is perhaps one of the greatest, if not the greatest, ability to bring blessing. In order to bring happiness into your life the method is explained by the holy Baal Shem Tov founder of what can be called modern Jewish mysticism, to always see good. So henceforth train yourself to always, always, see good in the world and in people. In fact in my humble estimation this is why Warren Buffet is so wealthy, because he is so happy. In other words, he is not happy because he is wealthy, rather is wealthy because he is happy.

7. Another important point and this relates more to what can block but more importantly to what can bless: Harmony. Ultimately this is G-d’s keenest desire, that all his children get along. The more harmony you create in your family – usefully through following step 6 – the more will you enable G-d’s blessing [i.e. perhaps He has already blessed you but a lack of harmony causes a spiritual, hence physical, blockage, so ] the more harmony the greater the blessings.

8. The next important point and again this is more about what can block but also importantly about what can bless and that is ethics. If a person is not ethical in business although it may seem he is making a quick buck I can almost guarantee he will lost it all later in life and he will ever regain it, and will end up a destroyed person; [for how you treat others is how you get treated by G-d.] An important point of Jewish ethics [and a Jew can read the section of Jewish laws called Choshen Mishpat in the code of Jewish laws which has been translated or can ask a competent Orthodox Rabbi for guidance] is that the “law of the land is law.” In other words, one may not cheat another, and one must uphold the ethics of the country, [now many people find loopholes in the law to do some draconian practices – in addition according to Judaism one may not destroy another person’s business so for example the Arab practice of buying out energy companies that will detract from their business, then shutting them down is wrong.] The bottom line is one must understand what are the local country’s business ethics and abide by it, as well as being compassionate in one’s dealings.

9. Another very important point is how one treats employees. G-d is very sensitive to the oppressed. The story is told of a great Rabbi who was also a wealthy industrialist and he once came to the holy Ari [one of the greatest Kabbalists] and asked him if the was anything wrong with him. At first the Ari demurred, preferring not to reply, however on this mans insistence he said “I see on your face a sign of theft.” This great Rabbi couldn’t fathom who he would have ripped off. But he did the following, he gathered all his employees and put a heap of money on the table and said, “if I have ever not paid any of you the appropriate wages you are welcome to take money, and I guarantee that I will not enquire after it.” One elderly weaver came and took two coins. This story is very profound. It is easy to see your own desires, but hard to see how much the employees need you.

10. Last but not least, and again this relates more to what can block and that is anxiety. Now it is very hard to tell someone not to worry about money or even their investments but as popularized in The Secret and as confirmed [and predated] in Judaism the law of attraction is real. In other words – in fact Job was very wealthy but unfortunately lost it all and one of his faults was incessant worry – one must totally banish anxiety from their heads and not only anxiety about money, anxiety in general. Again I recommend you read my book Kabbalah Love for tips on this and I remind you to reread and more importantly practice steps 1, 2, and 6, for all of these will help you become less anxious. There really are not enough words to emphasize this point. Anxiety can be detrimental to your bottom line. I will give you another practical tip that will help you have less anxiety and gain happiness and that is that as soon as you wake up in the morning you should thank – the good Lor-d for all of the blessings. A step I recommend in Kabbalah Love is to make a list of all the things you would miss if you didn’t have them, now read this list immediately, as soon as you wake up. This is very important because according to Kabbalah [and as seen empirically] the first thought, speech, and action, influences all the subsequent thoughts, speech, and actions throughout the entire day. So don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. As soon as you awaken – try do to this literally as soon as you are consciously awake [for this is the transition between the soul’s heavenly and earthly reality i.e. going from where it is in heaven during sleep into the mind when you wake up so] read your list and be grateful for everything you have; [additionally it helps to think of people – or even imagine people – who don’t have these blessings for we tend to be blasé about what we have when we think it is the norm.]

PS A few more tips from Jewish Mysticism:

  1. Send your [Jewish] name, and father’s, [if Jewish your mothers,] to Rebbe@ohel .org. This is the mausoleum of Rabbi Schneersohn were millions of people are sending requests for blessings and literally thousands of miracles a day are occurring – as He is the spirit of our generation and like Moses, intercedes [and he has an in,] to G-d, on your behalf.
  2. Ask your wife for advice – contrary to what you think your wife has your best interest at heart – she is closest to you – and understands you probably better than yourself, and it is also in her interest that you should make money.
  3. Additionally although tens of thousands of people would ask the Rebbe for financial advice the legacy he left us – knowing he wouldn’t be able to help everyone – is to ask a friend in business. It would appear to me that by using the Rebbe’s method one gains the wisdom of G-d, despite the fact the business friend is not.

Democracy and Religion

For any whom may think democracy and religion are not consistent, need we go further than the founders of the American democracy whom were very very religious people.

The people escaping the persecution – religious persecution of the Church of England – made democracy precisely to safeguard the populace from tyranny of institutionalized religion.

In other words, they were not seeking the obliteration of religion rather its ability to be free and coming from the individuals persuasion instead of being dictated from the Crown (whose genesis of the Church of England was so one king could marry someone without having to murder the previous queens namely Henry the Eight.)

So democracy is in fact the foundation of religion, for a true religion need not be “The Sword or Allah” rather one that men decided, that it is true.

In fact any religion based on tyranny has no foundation, for if one were to eliminate the tyranny and the masses would leave the religion than they never accepted it in the first place.

So democracy and religion are complementary.

Separation of Church and State by no means is separation of God and the State.

One need not look further than the American dollar in which “In God We Trust” is enshrined.

The rampant abuse of separation of Church and State to mean God and State is nothing short of scandalous lawfare at its ugliest.

The founding fathers as any common sense person knows and recognizes that God is the foundation of morality and hence to remove consciousness of God is to remove conscience, which is to allow mayhem.

Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn campaigned strongly for the silent prayer otherwise called “A Moment of Silence” to be reintroduced into the public school system, after prayers were eliminated due to separation of Church and State.

Ironically the many Jewish people who went to pubic school I speak to, feel passionately about not having a prayer for they are certain it would be a Christian, hence offensive prayer, to them.

However what no one can argue is that the lack of higher morality is what allowed the Germans – the so called most progressive nation of its times particularly in Humanities i.e. how humans should behave to one another – to become the most beastly nation ever seen on planet earth.

The reason for this is quite simple – humanity operates on a simple logical premise of fear of punishment and reward of good – take away the fear of punishment or the reward of good and humanity will descend into the Germanic Nazi-like ability to annihilate others whom the super-race disagrees with.

In a subtle way we can see this with radical liberalism who see themselves as morally superior or somehow superior to others and are willing to go to very violent and certainly with complete disregard to the feelings emotions sensitivity of religious people in promoting their view.

Like the Nazis they lack a higher value system and hence as soon as they deem something right they have no morals in berating mocking and sometimes assaulting conservative religious people.

So to create a safe and healthy society, one where people treat their neighbor as they want to be treated, and that which is hateful to you, you should not bestow upon another; can only be fashioned through reintroducing the very notion of a personal God to our youngsters through “A Moment of Silence” in public school and introducing empathy based on spiritual values which when chosen, agreed to and assimilated in the minds of society, the messianic age shall surely be upon us.



At a Farbrengen – informal Jewish mystical meeting – a lady who had become religious and was actively religious for many years complained that there is no self-help guide on growing in Judaism.

So we made up that I would put one together

The idea here is that a person should have a guide leading them to the basics, into eternal growth!

  • Know that your sole/Soul purpose in life is to work for God – In other words as the Previous Rebbe, Rabbi Josef Isaac Schneersohn said, in the olden days Jews and perhaps most people knew their mission in life was to work for God; In the modern era it became – work for your pleasures.
  • Here is how to discover your personal mission: http://wp.me/P1wSrP-4M
  • It is not enough to grow – we must share the above two worldviews with everyone we know